Starting Over by Mia Malone

Chapter Eight

The change

Rosie

“Storage,” I confirmed, and one of the many, many burly men who had shown up at my house nodded. “Donate,” I said, and another man disappeared with two lamps I’d bought fifteen years ago and always hated.

“We’ll be done in no time,” Chrissy predicted and pushed her long hair away from her face. “There are probably twenty guys here carrying things around. I asked a few of them if they wanted something to drink, but they grunted and walked away,” she said and snorted out a chuckle. “I guess they really were told to stay away from us.”

“They really were,” Addie confirmed with an eye roll but wiggled her phone and said, “Finn called. Coop is back from Portland, and they had some things to discuss, but they’ll be here any minute now.”

“Good,” I mumbled, looked at the notepad I was carrying around and put a long, black, and highly satisfying line through yet another item. “Chrissy, sweetie, could you please find Charlie? It would be great if you could go and pick up the pizzas I’ve ordered.”

“I’m right here,” my youngest daughter said. “Do we both have to go?”

“Yes,” I confirmed. “Because it’s thirty pizzas, but mostly because you distract everyone.”

Chrissy burst out laughing, and I grinned at my beautiful girls.

I hadn’t joked, though.

They were a distraction, but I had to give the men kudos for trying really hard to look at just about anything that wasn’t Charlie when she bent over to pick something up. Or Chrissy when she laughed like she did right then.

“Oh, look,” Addie said. “Dagger and Eye are here. Then the others are on their way.”

I looked up and watched the Hagen brothers as they got out of Eye’s car and moved toward us. Eye entered the house first, and his eyes widened slightly when he noticed my daughters, but he nodded calmly at me.

Dagger had called out something to one of the men and was still grinning as he turned.

Then he caught sight of us and walked straight into the half-open door.

He staggered backward with a hand over his temple, cursing and glaring at his brother, who was laughing loudly.

“Good looking guy,” Charlie said calmly. “A bit dorky to slap himself with our front door, though.”

“You can say that again,” Chrissy mumbled.

“A bit dorky to slap –”

“Oh, ha, ha,” Chrissy said, but she was laughing at her sister’s antics.

“Well, hello there, ladies,” Dagger said.

There was a red mark from his temple and over his forehead, and it seemed to be swelling up a little, but he wasn’t bleeding. He was also grinning widely in a way that could only be described as salacious.

Dag Hagen had apparently not read the memo about staying away from my daughters.

“Don’t,” Chrissy said calmly.

“What?”

“I know who you are.”

“What?” Dagger repeated, looking a lot less flirtatious suddenly.

“Your brother Lex broke up with a friend of a friend a while back, and she said he has two brothers.”

“You’re a friend of Peyton’s?” Dagger asked as if she hadn’t just told him so.

“Very distant acquaintance. She shared her views freely and widely, though, and she said one of Lex’s brothers barely spoke a word to her, and the other was something she labeled a horndog.” Chrissy smirked a little, looked at Eye, and added, “I’m going to guess you’re the quiet one.”

“Yup,” Eye said. “Never liked Peyton, so why the hell would I talk to her?”

“Fair point,” Chrissy said.

“Hey,” Tony suddenly said, and I jolted.

I had been too busy taking in the young people’s drama in front of me, so I hadn’t noticed that he and Finn had joined us.

“What happened to you?” Finn asked and narrowed his eyes as he scrutinized the mark on his second’s forehead. Then he looked at my girls and back at Dagger. “Please tell me you didn’t walk into a wall like a fucking moron.”

“I did not walk into a wall,” Dagger muttered.

“He didn’t,” Charlie confirmed innocently, and shared with a happy smile, “He walked into our front door, but you got the fucking moron part right.”

Finn blinked a couple of times rapidly, and Tony started laughing.

“Pizza,” I said. “You were going to go and –”

Dagger mumbled something that did not sound happy, and Chrissy put an arm around Charlie’s back to move them toward the front door.

“We’ll get them,” she said, turned to Dagger, and said with what I silently thought was a slightly unnecessary smirk, “I’ll text Mom on our way back so she can warn you when Charlie is approaching the house.”

Dagger calmly raised a brow.

“Babe,” he said. “I was not looking at her.”

“What?” Charlie asked.

“You’re gorgeous, but way too high maintenance for my taste,” Dagger said and turned back to Chrissy. “So, yeah, I walked into a door, but I did it looking at you.” He emphasized his words with a jab of his index finger, Chrissy’s mouth fell open just a little, and it was apparently Dagger’s turn to smirk. “Now go get that pizza,” he said and put two fingers under her chin to close her mouth. “We’ll talk when you’re back.”

He did not put that as a question, and Chrissy didn’t answer. Since Dagger walked off in what could only be described as a swagger, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.

My confident, unflappable daughter blinked rather stupidly a few times, turned, and marched out of the house without another word.

Charlie followed her sister but turned with a giggle to bug her eyes out at me, which I ignored in the futile hope that everyone would forget what had happened. They didn’t and started talking at the same time.

“Cool chicks,” Addie said calmly. “Let go and –”

“I’ll talk to Dagger,” Finn said. “He’ll –”

“Jesus, they’re your daughters alright, but –” Tony said with a sigh.

They stopped speaking, looked at each other, and then at me.

“Of course they’re my kiddos. No, you don’t have to talk to Dagger because I’m pretty sure they can handle him. And Addie? Whatever you were about to suggest, my answer is yes, so let’s ignore this whole scene and get to it.”

I got a quick kiss from Tony, and then we continued emptying my house. Chrissy and Charlie came back and were greeted with cheers when the men saw the piles of pizza boxes. Momo and a couple of my friends from the book club joined us while we ate, and when Momo heard I would donate my couches and several other things, she asked if I’d mind donating them to the Cascadia House, which needed upgrading. I looked at Tony, who shrugged, apparently not caring about the state of the couches in their clubhouse, so I told Momo to grab whatever she wanted. Then we carried more stuff, so the house was empty quicker than I would have thought possible.

Everyone left shortly after that, and the girls and I walked slowly through the empty rooms, but it didn’t feel like home anymore.

“Are we ready to leave?” I asked quietly. “The cleaning crew is coming in tomorrow, but they won’t be done until late, so this is,” I swallowed and finished, “It.”

“Mom,” Charlie said. “Chrissy and I left years ago. We loved it here, but it’s okay that you sell the place.”

“Totally,” Chrissy said. “Now we don’t have to worry anymore.”

“Worry about what, sweetie?”

She winced and glanced at her sister.

“You were so lonely, Mom. It was you and Blue rattling around in this big house, and we worried that it would be like that forever.”

“But now it isn’t,” Charlie added. “Now there are friends, and you do all kinds of things together, and bikers help you carry furniture, and there’s... you know?”

“Know what?” I asked, swallowing furiously because they were so sweet.

“Tony.”

Oh.

I wasn’t sure what to say or if there even was something to say because we might have slept together most nights in the past week, but it was new, so I wasn’t sure how to label it.

“He took Blue with him,” Charlie said quietly.

“Yeah,” I said with a sigh. “He gave the neighbors a dog.”

Tony had surprised me when he showed up with an adorable black poodle-mix. Then he picked up the dog, calmly told me to walk with him, and went over to ring the doorbell next door.

Mrs. Kacic opened, and listened with wide eyes while Tony explained that the dog was apparently in some kind of dire straits, needed someone to take care of her, there wasn’t anyone who would do it, and could they please take her in for just a few days? A week perhaps? They agreed and told me two days later that they had adopted the gorgeous dog and renamed her Indigo as a tribute to Blue.

“I know,” Chrissy said. “Mrs. Kacic almost cried.”

“Mr. Kacic did,” Charlie said. “That was nice of Tony.”

“Yes, it was. He’s a nice man. I didn’t expect...” I trailed off and shrugged.

“We know,” Chrissy said calmly. “Let’s go. Dad is probably waiting for us, and I’m sure,” she used both hands to do silly little air quotes, “Blue is waiting for you.”

***

Tony

Rosie had wanted to try yoga, so she and Addie joined a class for beginners. She came home euphoric, talking happily about doing yoga on the deck every morning and how this complemented her morning shot. She woke up the next day sore all over and muttered something about coffee and to hell with that awful shot. That had been a fucking fantastic excuse to get her naked and give her a massage which had a decidedly happy ending. Or more specifically, several happy endings for her and one pretty magnificent one for him. It wasn’t as if he needed any excuses or to come up with roundabout ways to do anything, though. Rosie had said that she wanted him to take the lead, and he did, but she was no shy violet and had no problems at all to put a hand on his crotch and share that she felt like getting naked.

It took him less than a day of Rosie living above his garage to realize that she didn’t play games. There was no pretense, and she didn’t hum and haw about something, waiting for him to figure out what she meant. As a consequence, they’d had a few loud disagreements in the four weeks that had passed since she sold her house. The first time had surprised him, though, but not because of the fight as such. That had been a pretty stupid argument, and she’d been wrong according to him, which he told her rather loudly.

He had expected her to be just as verbal right back, but she turned and walked away.

“For fuck’s sake, Rosie,” he yelled. “You don’t walk away in the middle of a fight.”

She turned slowly, looking completely astonished.

“What?” she breathed out.

“That’s not how it fucking works,” he growled. “Either you fold, or you keep playing. Walking away will not end the fight. It will just make it stay hidden somewhere, and it won’t go away.”

She promptly started crying, and he cursed as he pulled her into his arms.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “It’s just... I shouldn’t talk about it.”

“Talk about what, babe?” he asked quietly and reached for some tissues. “Blow.”

“My ex,” she said and turned away a little to wipe her face and blow her nose.

Ah.

The age of fifty-plus meant baggage, of course. He had some, so she would too.

“If stuff from your past impacts what we have, then fuck yeah, you should talk about it. Don’t want him lurking in the corner of your mind when you’re with me.”

“Okay,” she mumbled, and then they sat down and talked about how her ex didn’t like to fight.

Or even discuss anything where they had different opinions, it seemed. Rosie insisted that he was a nice man, and Tony didn’t protest but silently thought that the man seemed like a lazy, spineless moron. When they argued the next time, she held her ground, and it ended with him pulling her down on the couch. And then they were naked, which she later shared was a fantastic way to celebrate that she’d been right. He nodded but informed her that since he had been right too, they really should celebrate some more, which they did.

To his surprise, they continued doing yoga, and the next time she got back from practice, she was wearing a new outfit. As a consequence, he didn’t hear a thing when she talked happily about how they’d stretched and breathed through their noses because his brain had frozen and all he could focus on was the way the burgundy-colored tights went high up on her waist and emphasized the curve from –

“Are you even listening?”

Tony blinked and tried to not look as foolish as he felt when he realized that they were in the Roadhouse, Finn had been talking for quite some time, and he’d been lost in fucking teenagery daydreams.

“You said that Joe is struggling at the farm,” he said.

Joe was a club member, and he’d taken over his parents’ small dairy farm a couple of years earlier but had a hard time staying afloat.

“Yeah,” Finn said. “I did say that.” He raised a brow and added, “About ten minutes ago.”

“Sorry,” Tony said sheepishly. “My mind wandered off.”

“Everything good at home?”

“Fucking fantastic.”

Tony thought about how to elaborate but saw in Finn’s eyes that he understood, which he would since he had fucking fantastic in his own home too.

“Life is surprisingly good,” Finn said with a grin.

“Who would have thought we’d end up domesticated,” Tony said, ignoring the fact that his own domestication was of a rather temporary nature, which was the way he wanted it anyway.

“Yeah, never thought I’d have boxes of feminine shit in my bathroom again,” Finn said.

“Feminine shit?” Coop said and sat down next to them.

“I’m gonna guess it’s a euphemism for pads or tampons or whatever,” Hilt chuckled from behind the bar and placed a beer in front of Coop.

“I meant face creams and stuff, but yeah, that too,” Finn said and waved a finger over his glass to indicate that he wanted a refill. “How was Portland?”

Coop started talking, and Tony listened with half an ear, but his mind wandered off again.

There were tubes and bottles of God only knew what in his bathroom, and they had been there since precisely three days after Rosie moved. He’d come home earlier than expected, and found her just outside the small guest bathroom, which had a tiny shower stall.

“Taking a shower?” he asked and raised his brows. “The hell is that?”

She had some kind of plastic basket in one hand and a bag full of clothes next to her.

“A shower caddie.”

“A what?”

“Chrissy used it in college,” Rosie said. “It’s for shampoo and –”

She cut herself off and tried to move it away when he leaned in to survey its content.

“Rosie, for fuck’s sake,” he muttered. “This isn’t a dorm.” Then he narrowed his eyes and looked at the bathroom door. “Were you showering in the guest bathroom?”

“Well, yes?” she said.

He put an arm around her back and moved them into the master bath, where the shower was big enough to accommodate him. And her at the same time should the need arise.

“There,” he said and moved some of his things out of two of the shelves. “Space.” He looked over at the wall, moved a couple of flannel shirts off a hook, and repeated, “Space.”

“But –”

He was in no mood for a discussion that anyway would end with her stuff in his bathroom cabinet, so he looked at the bag, which was full of what he assumed was laundry.

“Give me that. I’ll throw it in with my stuff,” he said and grabbed the bag.

“What?” she mumbled and stared at him.

“I’m washing whites, standard program. Anything in there that can’t handle that?”

“Well, no, but I can –”

“You can hang it when it’s done,” he said and prevented any discussions by walking out of there.

Later, he emptied another shelf and a part of the big drawer under the sink and liked seeing her stuff in his bathroom. Hilt’s assumption about what Finn had been talking about hit him, though. It wasn’t as if he’d rifled through Rosie’s things like a perv, but he suddenly realized that they’d been lovers for a while, and there hadn’t been any need for ‘feminine shit.’

“We lost you again, bud,” Finn said and nudged his shoulder. “You wanna talk about what has you frowning?”

Finn was addressing him because Hilt had walked off to pour drinks for Chao and a couple of other customers, and Coop was laughing loudly in the kitchen.

“It’s nothing,” he said. Finn raised a brow silently, so he added. “Just realized that Rosie hasn’t had her period since we met. Not sure if I should talk to her about it or just ignore it.”

“Seriously? You don’t think she’s pregnant, do you?”

“Fuck no,” Tony said decisively. “You know I snipped shit off years ago, and we’re still new, so I also always cover up.”

“But how – Ah.”

They looked at each other, and Tony couldn’t hold a snort of laughter back when Finn winced. He had not seen this discussion on the horizon.

“Hey,” Chao grunted, put a beer down, and leaned on the bar with a pained look on his face. “Fucking hate customers.”

Since he was handling customer contacts in their print shop, it wasn’t uncommon for him to whine about fugly graphic designs in general and a seemingly universal lack of knowledge about image formats specifically.

“Take the day off tomorrow,” Tony suggested because Chao looked more frustrated than usual.

“Nah,” Chao said and took a deep swig of beer. “A beer and a shot, and I’ll be fine. What are you talking about?”

“The change,” Finn said, and Tony wondered if the man had suddenly lost his mind.

Why in the hell would he bring that up?

“Here,” Hilt said and put a shot of jaeger next to Chao’s beer.

“Thanks,” Chao grunted. “What change?”

Finn waited calmly while Chao raised the small glass, and then he drawled, “Menopause.”

Chao had been preparing to toss the shot back in one quick gulp but jolted, and his arm twitched, which splashed the brown liquid all over his face instead of landing at the back of his throat. A couple of drops stuck in his beard and hung there like tiny, shimmering pearls, but they flew off when Chao suddenly rubbed one of his eyes with a loud curse.

Tony tried his best to not laugh and reached over the bar for a couple of napkins. Finn didn’t even try and had to use a hand on the bar to keep standing.

“Asshole,” Chao muttered sourly and wiped the German herbal concoction off his face. “You did that on purpose.”

“Fuck yeah,” Finn said with a grin. “Worked better than I anticipated too, and it’s not as if you would have passed on that opportunity.”

“Asshole,” Chao repeated but this time with a snort of laughter. “Why the fuck are you sitting here drinking beer and talking about the fucking change anyway?”

“Do you talk to Momo about shit like that?” Tony asked, feeling a little like an idiot and hoping that the answer would be an emphatic fuck no.

And hopefully also not loud laughter.

Chao looked at Finn and then back at Tony, and there was humor in his eyes but also understanding.

“Bud,” he said calmly. “I’ve been with Mo my whole life. Was there for her first periods, and since then, we’ve dealt with a lot of crap, including six miscarriages. Of course I’m gonna talk to her about shit like that.” He wiggled his finger between Tony and Finn and added, “You two don’t have that history, so my advice is to stay clear of the topic and let your women bring it up if they feel like it,” He nodded a silent thanks to Hilt, who had put another shot down in front of him, downed the jaeger in one go, and added, “My bet is they won’t.”

“Thank fuck,” Tony muttered with a grin. “I have no input whatsoever to give.”

“Christ,” Finn snorted out. “Did not anticipate this discussion when I rolled out of bed this morning.”

Tony suddenly realized what Chao had shared and sighed.

“We knew you tried for –” He winced and added quietly, “Six?”

“Yeah,” Chao said calmly. “Sucked so bad I have no words, but it is what it is. It wasn’t meant to happen, and Momo is fucking unbreakable, so we’re good.”

They would be.

Because of Momo, who indeed had a spine made out of pure titanium, but mostly because of who they were together, and for the first time in his life, Tony wondered if he perhaps had missed out on a few things while he stayed happily single.

Rosie was laughing loudly when he came home because Chao had shared way too many details with Momo, who hadn’t hesitated a second to call both Addie and Rosie.

Then he was pushed down on a chair by the dinner table, a beer was placed in front of him, and he got a very matter-of-fact crash course on the topic of menopause. It felt surprisingly natural and easy, and when he drifted off to sleep later than night with Rosie in his arms, he smiled into her hair because it also felt good to have that little piece of knowledge about her.