Chains by Kristine Allen

“Broken”—Seether

“Jazz, we can’t keep doing this,” he said as he drove hard into me, fingers entwined with mine as he pressed my palms to the wall. The contrast between the black gloves over his hands and the soft tan of mine was mesmerizing.

“Just fuck me, Nico,” I demanded to get his mind off his worries and back to the task at hand.

We couldn’t tell my brother yet. There was no way Jude would believe I was in the right frame of mind to make a decision like that. Especially after he told me his club brothers were off-limits—that he didn’t want them “sniffing around me.” After the night Nico had been patched, I let him believe I didn’t approve of the club. It made it easier to not have anything to do with them. If I suddenly wanted a relationship with one of his brothers, he’d think I was off my rocker.

Savagely, Nico pounded into me. My tits that he’d pulled out of the cups of my bra bounced with each movement. The elastic of my leggings cut into my thighs as they spread to make room for him. All the memories receded, and nothing remained in my head but the floating numbness and the pleasure centered where we were joined.

Guilt curdled in my stomach, rising like bile in my throat. That I was using what we had to keep the awful memories at bay was downright sacrilege. But it was the only time I felt human. It seemed only when Nico was fucking me did the flashbacks fade to the shadows and I could feel again. The harder the better.

Because of that, he’d become my addiction. If I had my way, he’d be buried deep in my body twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. I’d remain constantly high from his touch.

One hand released mine as he grabbed my hair and pulled my head back until the curve of my neck was so tight, I could barely swallow. “Fuck you?” he ground out as his lips brushed against my ear. “That’s what you want?”

“Yesss,” I hissed, pushing my thoughts away.

His breath fluttered over the column of my neck, hot and sensuous as his lips branded the skin. With each violent thrust, it huffed harder before he pushed me over the edge by biting that sensitive spot at the base where it met my shoulder.

Stars flashed behind my eyelids as I fought the hold on my hair. As my orgasm crashed over and over like waves on the jagged rocks in a storm, my body struggled to curl inward to savor the sweet ecstasy pulsing through me.

“Fuck, Jazz, you’re killing me. So fucking tight. Goddamn,” he mumbled between hot kisses to my exposed nape, but he didn’t stop. He didn’t let up until his cock swelled thicker in my core and his hips gave one last thrust before he tensed at my back. The throbbing of his length against my walls set off another orgasm.

I had to bite my tongue and hold my breath to stop myself from screaming.

He released my hair and rested his head at the top of my back. Breathing labored and ragged, he didn’t move.

“Holy shit,” I muttered as little ripples of pleasure continued.

“You can say that again,” he agreed as he heaved a heavy sigh and withdrew. The emptiness I experienced when he vacated my pussy went deeper than just his cock stretching me. The moment he pulled out, I became hollow.

As he tied the condom, I righted my clothes and smoothed my hair.

Despite the incredible magic we’d just made, his jaw popped and clenched as he ripped off one glove over the evidence of what we’d done. Then he held it in the other hand and pulled off that one, leaving everything inside it. Angrily, he tossed the black ball of gloves in the trash.

Uncertain of his mood, I chewed on my lip as I watched him.

Then he began cleaning up the ink pots and everything he’d used to finish the tattoo on my shoulder. As I pulled my shirt over my head, the plastic he’d covered it with before we fucked like animals crinkled.

“Is it okay?” he asked in an emotionless tone, refusing to look at me.

I nodded, and there was a quick knock on the door before it popped open. “Goddamn, it smells like straight sex… in… here,” Ghost said, trailing off as he realized I was in the room. His eyes widened as his gaze bounced from me to Nico and back. With each movement I watched the pieces click. Resignation registered in his eyes.

“Uh, Faith said you didn’t have anyone on the schedule. I wouldn’t have barged in if I’d known you were, uh, working,” Ghost said as he uncomfortably gripped the back of his neck.

My heart was slamming into my ribcage as I realized we’d been caught and wondered what Ghost was going to do. Fear that he would tell someone made my hands tremble. He’d warned me off before, and I was afraid he’d feel obligated to say something now.

“I cleared my schedule so I could finish Jazz’s ink,” Nico said with absolute lack of emotion as he washed his hands. When he turned back around as he dried them, his lashes lifted, and he met my gaze but quickly looked away.

“Ohhhh-kay,” Ghost said, sensing the tension thick in the air. “I’ll just wait out in the waiting room.”

Thankfully, he didn’t say anymore, but he gave me an uncomfortable smile and about-faced his ass out of the room.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, conscious of the now open door.

“Why? You got what you wanted, right?” His words were snide, and my mouth dropped open in surprise.

“What?”

He snorted in disgust. “Well, you got your ink and got serviced by your stud horse. Two-for-one service,” he rasped, full of harsh anger as he sprayed down his work surface with alcohol.

“Nico,” I pleaded, hating that he was feeling that way but knowing deep in my heart there was some truth to it.

“Just don’t. I think I’m beginning to get the picture. I’m okay to use to get your rocks off, but not good enough to be public with—right? I get to be your dirty little secret, and you get fucked the way you like it. Therapy via sex, I guess.”

“That’s not true, and you know it!” I whisper-yelled.

“From where I’m standing, that’s exactly what this is. You refuse to go to counseling. Instead, you’re using sex like a drug to numb the pain. Am I pretty accurate? That’s what this is for you.”

“It’s not!”

“Then prove it.”

“How?”

“Tell Angel!”

“Tell me what?” I froze at my brother’s voice from the doorway. If I thought my heart went into overdrive when Ghost barged in, it was nothing on what that voice did. I couldn’t get my lungs to pull in enough air.

God, how much did he hear?

“That she had me put ink on her,” Nico immediately rattled off.

Angel glanced suspiciously between us before he cocked his head at me. “You had him ink you?” he questioned slowly. I knew he was surprised because I hadn’t said a word to him about getting a tattoo.

Turning my back to my brother, I tugged the neck of my shirt over to show him my new tattoo.

A relieved sigh left his lips at the obviously new ink. At least that part wasn’t a lie.

“Looks good, sis.” My brother’s voice softened, and I knew he was looking at the tiger lily I’d had Nico put on my skin. It had been our mother’s favorite flower. The design incorporated her name written below in her handwriting.

Nico cleared his throat, breaking the sad silence.

“You joining me and Ghost for lunch?” he asked my brother.

“Of course. That’s why I’m here.”

“Cool. Let me wipe everything down and I’ll be ready.” He wouldn’t look at me, and his face remained cold.

“How much do I owe you?” I asked, unable to simply walk out.

“You’re good. Just keep it clean. Follow the instructions I gave you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep. You don’t owe me a thing for my services. That’s what I’m here for.” Flashing a startled look at my brother to see what he made of Nico’s reply, I winced at the double meaning.

“Well, um, thanks,” I mumbled before I grabbed my purse off the counter and rushed out of the room. I didn’t bother with a goodbye to my brother, because I didn’t trust myself not to show my hand.

Not until I reached the safety of my car did my tears fall. I was fucking up. If I didn’t get my head straight, I was going to ruin what Nico and I had. My heart knew that it was more than sex. My mind knew I needed to come clean with my brother. My soul was merely basking in the perfect connection with its other half.

Nico was risking a lot by keeping us a secret, but he was doing it for me—because I begged him for more time.

When I pulled out of the parking lot of the club’s tattoo shop, I caught a bike in my rearview mirror. When I took the first right, it did too. At first I chalked it up to coincidence, but when I pulled into a gas station to fill up my car, he followed and parked around the corner of the building. All I could see was that he was messing with his phone.

I didn’t really need gas, but I topped off my tank as I cast a furtive glance the biker’s way. When I got back in my car and on the road, he started his bike and pulled out as well. A frown furrowed my brow as I stopped at a red light.

Squinting into the mirror, I tried to see if I recognized him. It sucked because he had on a plain black helmet with a tinted visor, and a plain black cut with a single patch on his chest. I couldn’t be sure, but it looked like it was the colors of the Royal Bastards. Which was what worried me—the fact that I couldn’t be sure.

When we turned the next corner, I caught sight of a wing tattoo on his wrist, and my gaze narrowed. Before I could lose my nerve, I slammed on my brakes and swerved to the side of the road. He quickly swerved to miss me, and the PROSPECT patch on his back confirmed my suspicions. He pulled over and hung his head.

“Why are you following me, Roscoe?” I demanded as I flew out of the car and propped my hands on my hips.

“Dammit, Jasmine, I almost hit you!” he exclaimed as he ripped off his helmet.

“That doesn’t answer my question!”

“I’m doing what Angel told me to do. Now I’m gonna get my ass chewed,” he bitched.

“For what?”

“Because I wasn’t supposed to let you know I was tailing you,” he grumbled.

“Well, you suck at it.”

“No shit,” he muttered as I stomped back to my open door and dropped back inside.

My hands were shaking as my mind spun. I couldn’t help but wonder how long Roscoe had been following me. Did my brother already know about me and Nico? Was he biding his time? And if so, why?

Yeah, I should probably be grateful that Angel was looking out for me, but I was more nervous than anything. Our father had been calling and texting me, trying to get me to meet him for lunch or coffee, but I’d been ignoring him. Nico and I had been carrying on in secret. My brother was having me followed.

Nahhh. Nothing to be nervous about.

My fingers nervously strummed the steering wheel the entire way back to the Royal Bastards compound.

Shit.

After the way we left things at the tattoo shop, I’d been going crazy. I hated that Nico believed I was using him, but I hated that there was some truth to it too.

Impatiently, I waited for him to come back to the clubhouse.

There was a party going on by the time I heard his door open and close across the hall. I forgot what that one was for, but then again, the Royal Bastards didn’t really need a reason to party. My brother asked if I was joining them, and I told him maybe later after I finished updating a website I managed for a bestselling author.

Cautiously, I opened my door and peeked out. Looking both ways, I didn’t see a soul in sight, so I quietly clicked the latch and went across the hall. Taking a chance he may kick me out, I knocked once and opened the door.

His gaze whipped to the door as he tossed the contents of his pockets to the dresser.

“Give me a minute and I’ll whip my dick out for you,” he said, and my temper exploded.

“Nico, please stop. I didn’t come in here to fight with you,” I argued.

“No, you came in here to fuck.” His sneer hurt.

“I didn’t. I came here to talk to you,” I said as my anger quickly fizzled.

“About what, Jazz?” He suddenly sounded tired, defeated.

Though all I had to do was be in the same room with him and I was turned on, it wasn’t all about sex. I simply loved the fact that while we were in the act, all the bullshit disappeared.

“Us.”

“I don’t think there is an us, Jazz. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I wonder—is it worth it? To you, I mean. Having a man that has to wear goddamn gloves to touch you? I want to be everything for you, but I don’t know how I can.”

I didn’t get a chance to reply because the door crashed open, nearly hitting me. I shrieked.

“What the fuck is going on? Why are you in here, Jazzy? What did you do?” Angel’s eyes flashed in fury as he directed the last question to Nico, who raised his chin but refused to answer.

“He didn’t do anything,” I tried to defend him. It was me being in Nico’s room that had brought my brother down Nico’s throat.

“Chains? You need a woman to speak for you?” Angel taunted.

“Angel, knock it off. You’re being crazy right now,” I begged.

“No. Why is she in your room, goddamn it?” my brother demanded. Sensing the escalating tension, a few of the other club members that were standing outside stepped into the room.

“Angel,” I begged as I clutched his arm.

“I said stop trying to defend him!” he roared at me as he shook me off.

I froze. Then my body trembled head to toe. Locked in my mind, I couldn’t focus. My breathing became ragged. I could hear what they were saying but I couldn’t respond.

“Get the fuck out. Look what you’ve done,” Nico lashed out at Angel in a subdued but obviously furious tone.

“Jazzy,” my brother started as his eyes reflected his regret. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. Look at me, sis,” he said in a cajoling tone. Except, then his voice faded to nothingness. The room was hazy and the roaring in my ears was nearly deafening.

The next thing I knew, I was being scooped up by Venom. He carried me down the hall to my room, then gently set me on the bed. “Jasmine?” he said softy as he laid his hand against my cheek.

A warm wash of peace trickled through me, loosening up my tense muscles and bringing my focus to his face in front of mine.

“Are you with me now?” he asked with a half-smile.

Swallowing hard, I nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about, doll. But I need to ask why Chains had you in his room? Did he make you go in there?” he asked as he stared into my eyes. I’d never gotten used to them calling him Chains. He’d forever be Nico to me.

The thought of Nico forcing me to do anything was such a foreign thought that my face contorted in horror.

“No. Never. I went to talk to him,” I whispered as I ducked my head.

Using the edge of his finger, he lifted my chin to bring my gaze back to his.

“Unless he’s going to claim you and you’re on board with that, I can’t have that in my clubhouse. It’s pitting two of my brothers against each other. Is that what Chains wants? Is that what you want? You as his ol’ lady? Because right now this shit is creating a divide in my club.” His usually gruff demeanor was softened as he spoke to me.

“I can’t,” I finally admitted.

“Why not?” he asked.

“Because he would see everything. Every time he touched me, he would see how dirty I am—how broken. It would kill him. And that would kill me,” I said with a quivering lower lip.

“Then you have to stay away from him. I see how he looks at you and I know Angel does too. That man would lay down his life for you. If you can’t accept that, then you need to let him go.”

He was probably right, but why did the mere thought leave me with my heart gaping open?