Knocking on Helen’s Door by Eve Langlais
23
Julio returnedto find Helen gone. The only sign she’d not left willingly was the feathers scattered on the floor.
“Lucifer!” he bellowed, not caring if he had any disrespect in his tone.
The Dark Lord appeared in a hazmat suit, holding a baby dressed in pink, exuding the most awful smell. “I’m kind of busy. Is it important?”
Ignoring the putrid stench, Julio snapped, “Helen was kidnapped!”
“No shit, Sherlock.”
“By whom?”
“Who do you think?” The devil laid the baby on the desk and pulled forth some tongs to peel back her sleeper.
Julio pulled his shirt over his mouth and still it was as if he could taste it. “The angels got her? But I thought you said she was safe.”
“Fake news. I said everything would be fine.”
“How is it fine? They took her.”
“Yup.” The devil pulled free the shittiest diaper. It dripped as he yanked, the drops of liquid poop burning into the floor. Lucifer opened a rip into another dimension to drop it in.
“What are you going to do to get her back?” Julio asked, impatience burning, but knowing better than to blast the Dark Lord with his temper.
“Me? There’s nothing I can do. She’s in Heaven now.”
Out of reach. Only Julio wouldn’t give up. “So send the legion after her.”
“And start a war? Over an angel? Don’t be silly.” The devil whipped out a sponge and swabbed the baby clean, drawing sweet giggles.
“It’s not silly. She’s my wife.”
“Not anymore.” The devil waved his hand in the air, and a sheet of paper tumbled from it. “My office just received the annulment.”
“She loves me!” Julio’s frustration boiled over.
“I doubt she’ll remember that for long. Now that they’ve got their hands on Helen, my guess is they’ll reprogram her. Teach her to follow the cult rules again.”
Julio shook his head. “You’re talking crazy. Helen knows Heaven is a scam. She doesn’t want to be there.”
“I hate to break it to you, but she will forget everything she experienced out here. Even you.”
No. Julio refused to believe it. He could never forget the angel that showed him he still had a heart.
But as the days turned into weeks with no word from her, he began to despair. Then he got angry, which, along with too many bottles of whiskey, led to his ill-advised plan.
