The Singing Trees by Boo Walker
Chapter 28
ALOHA, MAINERS
The last week of May, Walt drove Annalisa to Logan Airport in Boston. She hugged him goodbye and reminded him to take his medicine. Nonna was helping out at the shop while she was gone.
After checking in, Annalisa boarded the first airplane of her life. She’d first tried to read a book but was too excited and kept her eyes out the window for most of the journey. When the wheels touched down in Honolulu, she had absolutely no idea what to expect. The only communication she’d received was that he’d be waiting for her, as she’d sent her flight details.
She joined the other passengers exiting the gate and lost her breath when she saw him. Private Thomas Barnes stood in his uniform at the gate when she deplaned. She’d never seen him so handsome. For a funny moment she thought she was one of the girls in Elvis’s Blue Hawaii, and he her own private Elvis.
“Aloha,” she said, noticing as she came closer a scratch along his cheek. What had he seen and done in the few months he’d been in Vietnam? She couldn’t—and didn’t want to—imagine.
“Look at you.” He smiled, making her feel to her core how much he’d missed her. He lifted up a lei of lilac and white orchids and hung it around her neck. He stepped back as if he had no idea what to do—hug her? Kiss her? As if he was letting her make the choice.
She hadn’t come all the way to Hawaii to be friends, and he hadn’t just fought through half of his tour to shake hands. Letting herself go just as Sharon had taught her, Annalisa pressed her lips to his. The passengers around them clapped, as if this were any normal reunion.
As they pulled apart, she said, “What’s new, soldier boy? That’s a heck of a tan.”
He laughed. “Damn, I missed you.”
“You’re not going to get all mushy on me, are you?” But her own heart felt pretty soft.
“So what if I am?”
Annalisa thought his eyes looked different, like he’d lost some of his youth. “I missed you too.”
They retrieved her bag and called a taxi that took them to a simple hotel called the Moloka’i on Waikiki Beach. They entered their first-floor waterfront room, and she rushed to the patio only steps from the sand. Annalisa’s first glimpse of the beach and ocean felt like a mother seeing her child for the first time. The creamy sand was a stick of butter melting into the water, and she couldn’t imagine that all those shades of blue even existed. For a Mainer who’d barely crossed borders, this was proof enough that God had His hands all over the world, mixing in colors even the great masters could never emulate.
To the far left, past the long line of hotels, stood some sort of beautiful mountain, but it was nothing like the mountains of Maine. This one was surely volcanic, and it was treeless and jagged, almost otherworldly. She looked out toward the horizon, wondering what else was out there waiting for her.
Thomas joined her, putting his hand on her waist and kissing her neck. “I’m so glad you came.”
His breath gave her goose bumps. “Me too,” she whispered, feeling the exhilaration of a free fall into love. Would they make love while they were here, she wondered, or would she get scared and pull the cord? She couldn’t bear losing him to the war, couldn’t even bear the idea of it, so she was afraid that she was setting herself up for the greatest loss of her life.
But she couldn’t bear not loving him, either, so she had to have made this leap and taken the risk. No longer could she let her fears guide her. She knew what was right in her heart.
They breathed in the view, watching the sun worshippers lie motionless on their chairs, and the lovers strolling along the dazzling waterline, and then out in the ocean, a cluster of longboarders sharing a seemingly never-ending line of perfect curls. Other soldiers were there, too, some with girlfriends or wives, and some clustered together with other fighters on leave from their nightmare.
There was a powerful dichotomy at play between those men and their current surroundings, and Annalisa could feel Thomas’s energy—all their energy—in this brief respite from their violent situation. She could only imagine what they were going through, but she’d watched and read enough news to know that they’d experienced things that would make even the most hardened warriors tremble.
The intimacy of the room made her wonder what was to come. This was the first time they’d ever had their privacy as a couple. She thought he might have ripped her clothes off, but he stretched out on the bed and watched her with a smile as she unpacked, peppering her with questions about life back home.
As she talked, she knew he was listening, or trying to, but she could tell he was somewhere else, too—almost reminding Annalisa of Emma’s behavior. That was okay. She knew it had nothing to do with her being there. By the end of the day, she hoped to quiet his demons. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what he’d seen in the five months he’d been in Vietnam, and more than a little slack was warranted.
When she told him about losing her job at Pride’s and what Mr. Miller had done to her, he popped up and cut angry eyes at her. “You fucking kidding me?”
“It’s not a big deal,” she said, feeling like she’d poked the bear. What a potty mouth he’d developed since he’d been away.
“They fired you?” he asked, setting his feet on the carpet. “I assumed you quit.”
She hung a new sundress in the closet. “I didn’t want you to worry, so I left that part out.”
Thomas shook his head, and she could see that he was doing everything he could to hold back. Ted Miller was lucky he was thousands of miles away.
Annalisa plopped down next to him and put a hand on his arm. “Ted Miller is long gone, and I like my life better now.” She filled him in on what she hadn’t told him in the letters, the night she’d seen Nonna and Walt kiss. “That was the night I realized that I wanted to go to Hawaii, that I had to see you.” She looked up into his eyes, so eager to tell him what she’d discovered. “Life’s just too short, isn’t it? Forget all the things that could go wrong. I’d rather get them all wrong with you than all right without you.”
Mr. Sunshine suddenly came alive. If he’d been checked out earlier, her words brought him right back to the present, and she could see that he’d been waiting to hear her say these things for a long time. “This is what I’ve been saying all along.”
She ran her fingers along the stubble on his face. “I know you have, and I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come around.”
He lovingly put his hand on her back. “I would have waited a lifetime. You know that.”
“I do.” She kissed him and then told him about the painting she’d made of Walt and Nonna, because she wanted to finish her point. “Sharon was really impressed. Not like, ‘Oh, good job, little student.’ She saw what I already knew, that I’ve finally figured out my voice. It’s like I’m opening my eyes for the first time, and I see . . . I see love everywhere, and I’m finally not afraid to connect. And I feel love.” She put her hand on his heart, feeling it thumping back at her. “I finally feel connected.”
He placed his hand on top of hers, already looking younger than when she’d first seen him. “I feel it too. I love you, Anna. That will never change.”
Knowing it was her turn to show him how she felt, she pushed him down onto the bed and leaned over him, kissing him a thousand times and pressing her body into him. “I love you, too, and I’ll never stop.”
She expected his hands to run wild, even wanted them to, but he seemed content with kissing. Considering he’d never been content with just kissing, she calmed her own libido and asked, “You okay?”
He sighed. “Sorry, Anna. I’m worn down.”
Undeterred, she rolled over to his side and put her hand on his chest. “Don’t worry about it. We have an entire wonderful week together, sitting under the sun, drinking mai tais, dancing, letting it all go.”
“I need that.”
She focused on his chest rising and falling. “Is it that bad over there?”
He made a face like she’d asked him if it snowed in Maine. “It’s no cakewalk, especially . . .” He shrugged. “I like the guys in my platoon. That’s what matters.”
“Hey, I can take it. Tell me . . .” But could she take it? She didn’t want to think about losing him anymore, and she could only imagine what kind of nightmarish stories he could tell.
His chest rose high as he drank in a big breath. “I think the best thing to do this week is not talk about RVN.”
She glided her fingers across his cheek. “I’m here for you, either way.” Her heart hurt for him, and the war sank into her chest, the unimaginable things he’d seen seeping into her. “You’re halfway done, Thomas. We’re there. Keep doing what you’re doing, and it’ll be over—and we can start the rest of our lives.”
Over the course of that first day, she fought hard to be Thomas’s cheerleader, digging him out of the gloom. Even when the topic of Emma came up, Annalisa assured him that his sister would come around and turn out okay. Then she’d steered the conversation toward calmer waters. He told her about some of the silliness and pranks he’d been a part of in Vietnam (boys will be boys . . .), and they laughed about the day they’d met and how hard he’d pursued her.
By that night, he was smiling again. With wet bathing suits under their clothes, they sat at the bar, drinking rum punches and laughing at one drunk soldier who attempted to dance to a Stones song on the radio. The bartender was back and forth between the blender and the beer keg, moving as fast as he could to help his patrons numb the pain.
Annalisa felt so far away from what those men had experienced. Some of them were drafted and some of them had enlisted, and now they were in it together, fighting a war that Annalisa was sure no one would ever win. They looked like pawns to her, Nixon’s play toys. Sure, she didn’t understand it, and she knew there were politics at play that she’d never be privy to, but this war had to end.
Thomas told her a few bits and pieces about his experience. She felt like he was dulling it down some, but even so, it was heartbreaking to hear him speak of VC soldiers waiting in ambush and losing guys he’d come to love in an instant from a sniper bullet. She let him talk as long as he needed to, no matter how hard it was for her. She found it so hard to imagine the boy she’d first met at the museum dropping grenades into a tunnel full of NVA.
As they continued to talk, he seemed to drift away, as he’d done several times that day. He kept looking to his right, toward the beach, as if someone was watching them, and she wondered if this was how every soldier felt back in the real world.
Clearly ready to leave RVN behind, he said, “So tell me more about your paintings. What have you done since the one with Walt and Nonna?” She could also see that he was trying to engage, despite his distractions, and that meant the world to her.
“Well,” she said, excited to share, “I was walking back from Sharon’s, after I showed her the piece, and I saw this young boy stumble and hit the sidewalk, busting up his knees. His father was right behind him, racing to lift him up. It was like lightning striking down on me. I couldn’t wait to get home and paint, and when I did, it was . . . it was like I was finally capable of feeling them. The subtlest change in the world to the eye, but I was in their skin as I filled in the details. Oh, Thomas, it might sound silly, but—”
“It’s not silly at all,” he said.
Feeling the rush of that experience, Annalisa sipped her rum drink and continued. “I could feel both the dad’s love for his son and the son’s reliance on his father like they were my own feelings.” She paused. “You never quite master art—not many people do—but I know that I’ve finally found my voice. It’s always been about people, but I’ve finally figured out how to truly bring them to life.” She lowered her voice, looking into the eyes of the man she’d never stopped loving. “It’s about opening yourself up in the real world. An artist can’t hide in her studio and make magic. She has to get out there and love. My voice is all about and because of love. Because of my love for Nonna, for Walt . . . for you.”
His cheeks filled with joy.
She put her hand on his thigh. “It doesn’t have to mean that all my paintings have to be lovey-dovey, not at all. That was the me that was all giddy about you back in high school, painting those silly red hearts.” No, the paintings she’d done since Nonna and Walt’s kiss had come from the soul of her being, and they were real and honest, nothing mushy about them.
He pretended to be upset. “You’re not all giddy about me now?”
“Giddy is only the start of it now,” she admitted. “I’m just saying . . . the painting I did of Nonna and Walt and the ones I’ve done since have come from deep within, a very real and honest place. I guess that’s what my voice is. People loving people.”
He smiled proudly. “That’s my girl,” he said. “That’s my girl.”
She shrugged. “Forever and always.”
Running with that idea, he asked, “So what happens when I get back home? Between you and me. Is it forever and always?”
Though she’d thought about it, she had no idea. “You still want to go to New York for dental school, right?”
He kissed her with pineapple breath. “After this whole mess, I just want to get back and be with you. I want to be among people loving people. I can take or leave dental school. I can go wherever you need to be for your career.”
She smiled at the thought of how lucky she was to have found him. In fact, she allowed herself to imagine, for the first time, a rich life with Thomas Barnes. Had she changed so much in a few months? Was the grief that had plagued her going away? Yes. Yes, it was . . .
He seemed to grow lighter with every passing minute, and soon he was inching closer to her, kissing her and touching her. She was loving every minute of it, his touch, his love, the setting, and when the Guess Who came on the radio singing, “No Sugar Tonight,” she smiled at the lyrics she heard in her head.
As the band sang the chorus, Annalisa sang to Thomas, “No sugar tonight for poor Thomas, no sugar tonight for my T.”
It was Thomas who laughed first, and then they were folded over, making the others at the bar turn to see what in the world was going on.
With an irresistible grin, he said, “So what do you say we move this party to the minibar?”
After polishing off their drinks, he reached for her hand and interlaced his fingers with hers. They laughed all the way back to the room, but once they realized what lay behind the hotel door, their playfulness shifted. Keeping her gaze, he let go of her hand to jiggle the key into the lock, and when he pushed the door open, Annalisa felt her entire body swell with desire.
With ease, he picked her up and pushed open the door with his side. She wrapped her arms around his neck and breathed in the intoxicating scent of suntan lotion and the sea.
With her still in his arms, he carried her to the bed and then gently placed her down. His eyes penetrated her with such intense desire that she thought her white gauze cover-up might lift itself off her body.
“I’m so happy, Anna.”
“Oh yeah?” she said as she pulled him on top of her. “Why’s that?”
He kissed her softly. “Because you’re here and because we’re back together and because I’m . . . I’m so tired of being without you.”
Her lips pulsed as she tasted the remnants of salt lingering from their day at the beach. “I’m tired of being without you too. I love you, Thomas. Don’t ever think differently.”
“I’ve never doubted it.” A smile played at one corner of his mouth. “We just had to wait for you to come around.”
She lifted her hips to pull off her cover-up, revealing the bottoms of her flower-patterned bikini. She raised her hands as Thomas helped her out of it and tossed it aside. Looking up at him with a smirk, she nodded her consent.
He lowered himself on top of her, and her pelvis arched toward him, wanting to feel hard evidence of her effect on him. Needing more of his skin, she unbuttoned his shirt and traced the scars and scratches of his time in the jungle with her fingers. He followed her lead with gentle hands as he reached behind her and unhooked the clasp of her top. They continued to undress each other until the two beings became one.
As she was swept away by this man, she understood exactly what it meant to make love, and she knew that she was absolutely ready. He was gentle but wild, a man attempting to tame a tiger, and they pressed into each other with such passion that the walls of her heart shook, and a blast of colors splashed onto the canvas of her soul.
The week took on wings, and they rarely left each other’s side, barely letting their eyes or hands or lips stray from each other. They took long walks on the beach after breakfast and spent their days sitting under an umbrella, or building sandcastles, or swimming, never running out of conversation. She never strayed far from her sketch pad and found endless inspiration there by the sea with the man she loved. They’d laugh to tears during dinner and then dance to the local bands until their inner urges led them back to the room.
On the last night, they meandered down the beach to a spot the concierge had recommended, where they tried sushi for the first time in their lives. Thomas was back to his old self and couldn’t stop talking.
Sitting across from Annalisa at a small table by the window, he picked up his chopsticks and attempted to pinch one of the pieces of tuna rolled in rice and seaweed. “What’s the point here? Why not just a fork?”
She broke into laughter, watching him fumble for it. “I’d forgotten how graceful you were.”
Following another few failed attempts, he shrugged and exchanged the chopsticks for a fork. After finally enjoying a bite, he said, “Who knew? Raw fish and seaweed. This is really good.”
She stabbed a piece with a fork, dipped it into soy sauce and wasabi, and enjoyed her first bite. “That is good.”
He sipped his cold beer from a chilled glass. “We should go back and open up a sushi spot in Portland.”
“Something tells me,” Annalisa said, swallowing, “that sushi might not catch on back on the mainland for a while, but it is good.”
“Are you kidding me?” He went for another piece. “Nonna would dig raw tuna.”
“Oh, would she?” Nonna didn’t stray far from Italian food.
He grinned. “Sure, just put it on top of a heaping pile of pasta instead of her meatballs.”
The night was like that, full of silliness and back to the way things had been, two people finding happiness in the midst of the crazy world around them. Life without this man didn’t exist, not the way it was supposed to, and she couldn’t be the artist she wanted to be without loving him at the same time.
While they were finishing off their beers after dinner, Thomas reached across the table for her hand. “I want to ask you something.” She felt a tremble in his fingers.
Concerned, she said, “What is it?”
He was lost in her eyes, as if he were hypnotized by them.
“What?” she asked again.
Letting go of her hand, he slid his seat back and stood. Then he reached into the pocket of his khakis, drawing out a small box. Annalisa’s heart leaped. Was that what she thought it was? Rounding the table, he nervously and adorably lowered to one knee and gazed up at her. He opened the box and held it out, showing a gold band.
With those slivers of stardust looking up at her, he asked, “Annalisa Mancuso, will you marry me?”
She lost her breath, couldn’t believe this was happening—hadn’t even considered the possibility. The truth of her feelings came out as her lips curled up. Her entire body tingled as she said, “Yes. Yes. Yes! And yes! And even more yeses!”
He lit up. “Here I was thinking I’d have to convince you.”
As she looked at the man offering his life to her, though, she thought there could be no other way. She knew now more than ever that she did believe in love. Because they were love. She hadn’t believed in such a feeling growing up because she never could have believed in it until she met him.
“Yes,” she said, pulling him up and pressing her lips into his.
He slipped the band onto her finger. “I owe you a diamond when I get back.”
“I don’t care about a diamond,” she assured him, looking at this symbol of their life together. “You just come home in one piece, okay?”
Standing now, he touched her cheek. “Not even the entire North Vietnamese Army could keep me from coming home to you now.”
The reality of his coming home made Annalisa realize what they’d committed to. She thought of Nonna and what her family would think. Then, with a chill, she thought of his family, who didn’t even know she was here.
“So . . . ,” she started. “Do your parents have any idea?”
He returned to his seat. “I thought we could wait until I got home to deal with them. What do you think?”
She thought about it. Hiding their engagement from Mr. Barnes was one thing, but keeping it from Mrs. Barnes and Emma felt wrong. “I don’t know. Maybe we should tell your mom and your sister, at least. Maybe I should tell them.”
“I thought about writing them, but my dad gets the mail most of the time. I really don’t want you to have to deal with him while I’m there.”
She completely agreed, remembering how awful his father had been at the country club. “What if I just called the house and broke the news, asked your mom and sister to keep it a secret? They might appreciate it, you know? The last thing I want to do is give your sister another reason to dislike me.”
He tapped the table. “Yeah, maybe so. You know women better than I. But don’t feel like you have to. We can tell them together.”
“I think it could be a nice gesture,” she said.
After a pensive beat, he said, “Yeah, I think you’re right.”
As the two newly engaged lovers strolled along the sand, Annalisa accepted that they might never have a smooth ride. There would always be things like Vietnam and his family, but so be it. The alternative of not having him was worse. No matter what got in the way, nothing could stop the two of them from living out their lives together. All they had to do was have faith, because some things were as sure as the stars.