Puzzle by Nora Phoenix

23

Ryder wasn’t even sure how it had happened. One moment, Branson had mentioned dinner, and the next, they were sitting at a cozy table in a pizza restaurant in McLean, where the delicious smells made Ryder drool. Going home would’ve been smarter for too many reasons to count, but most of all because it was becoming harder and harder to look at Branson and not remember. Remember how exquisite he had felt inside Ryder, how perfect that fat dick had stretched him, what a great kisser he had been…and how desperately he wanted a repeat.

“What’s good here?” he asked, forcing himself to change the subject.

“Honestly, all their pizzas are amazing, but their variation on a Caprese is my favorite. It has fresh tomatoes, real mozzarella made from the milk of a water buffalo, sun-dried tomatoes, arugula, and parmesan cheese, and it’s to die for.”

“Sold.” Ryder put the menu down.

“That was easy.” Branson laughed.

“You were very persuasive.”

That, and Branson had licked his lips when he’d described the pizza, and of course, Ryder’s mind had gone straight to the gutter again. Jeez, when had he become such a sex-obsessed person? He would’ve thought that the hookup with Branson would’ve lasted him a while, but nope, it had only made him crave more.

When the server came, they both ordered the Caprese, and Ryder treated himself to a Coke. He never drank caffeine after six p.m., as he feared it would keep him up at night, but he was too tired to function now.

“I’m exhausted,” he said with a sigh, taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes, then putting them back on. Maybe he should consider contacts. They’d be much easier, but he was afraid he’d forget to take them out.

The way Branson shifted until their legs touched under the table sent sparks through his body. “You’ve worked crazy hours the last few days.”

“So have you, and you also have your father to worry about.” As soon as he said it, he winced. Had that been too direct? Insensitive? Should he ask a follow-up question, show that he was empathetic? He never knew what to do in situations like this.

But Branson didn’t seem to take offense. “True. It’s not been easy, though my father is doing well under the circumstances. He’s home from the hospital and recovering well. But he has a long road ahead of him.”

“Do they have a treatment plan now?” Since Branson had never shown he didn’t want to talk about it, Ryder figured this was safe to ask.

“The next step is chemotherapy, probably for six months, but they’ll monitor how he responds.”

“Are you worried?”

Branson was quiet for a long time. “I’ve never been so scared in my life.”

Ryder pressed his leg against Branson’s for a moment, not saying anything. What could he offer but empty platitudes? Nothing. Words wouldn’t suffice. “How’s your mom?” he finally asked.

“Stronger than I had ever thought possible. She always taught us that you don’t know how strong you are until you have no choice, but I never realized how true that was until now. She’s a rock, and my dad is the same. But they’ve always been like that, no matter what happened. They set the bar high for me for a relationship, you know?”

Right. Branson wanted a relationship, and Ryder had better remember that and be crystal clear in his signals. He didn’t want Branson to think he’d be interested in anything more. Not that they had discussed the possibility of a repeat, but just in case. “With stories about unsupportive parents being so common for gay kids, we both got lucky with ours,” he said.

“We did. I never feared coming out to them. They’d always been so open and accepting that I knew they’d be okay with it.”

“Same. I remember that when I was maybe ten, my father took me to the Museum of Natural Science. He gave this whole talk on how biology wasn’t as binary and as straight as people wanted it to be and how sex and gender were different things. Way ahead of his time, but he’d always been a man of science, someone who followed the facts.”

“Do you think he maybe suspected you were gay already?”

Ryder nodded. “I never asked him, but I’m sure my parents had picked up on it by then. There was never much doubt with me. Not that I was flamboyant or anything, but just…I wasn’t interested in most things other boys were.”

“I know what you mean. It’s that vibe a lot of gay men have, that combination of sensitivity and vulnerability.”

Their food came, and Branson hadn’t been lying. That pizza was orgasmic, and Ryder tried to savor it, but he was too hungry to go slow. “Man, that’s so good.”

Branson chuckled. “I’m always amazed at how much you eat. You’re so slender, but you devour quantities like you’re starving.”

Ryder shrugged. “I have to compensate for often forgetting to eat, especially lunch.”

“I noticed that.”

“But I also love good food, simple as that.”

Paul had often commented on Ryder’s eating habits, especially in public. Something about it being bad manners to clear your plate because it made it seem like you hadn’t had enough. That had always sounded silly to Ryder, but like with many other things, he’d trusted Paul to know better. In hindsight, that had been a monumentally stupid habit.

“Are you in a hurry to go home?” Branson asked.

Ryder sighed. “Not really.”

“No one there to wait for you, huh?”

Branson knew Ryder had broken up with his boyfriend, so the conclusion he lived alone was a logical one. He could easily let him assume that, and yet somehow it didn’t feel right. “Actually, I moved back in with my parents. Temporarily.”

“Oh man, that sucks. Your ex kept your previous house, then?”

“Apartment, and yes. It turns out he’d removed my name from the contract.”

Branson gasped. “You’re kidding me.”

“I wish.”

“So he’d planned to break up.”

“Yes.”

“So why aren’t you getting your own place?”

Yeah, he should’ve seen that one coming. The thing was, Branson wasn’t asking because he suspected something. Ryder was certain of it. The way he’d asked was too casual for that. It was a normal question from someone who was curious. So once again, Ryder had to choose to either evade, lie…or tell the truth.

“He cleaned me out,” he said quietly. “I was an idiot who believed him when he promised me he wanted a future with me, and so I used my savings to furnish our apartment, to buy him a car, to pay for everything…and when he broke up, I walked away with an empty bank account. I can’t afford a down payment for at least a year, and renting on such short notice is impossible if you want something decent.”

Branson frowned and slapped his hand on the table. His visceral reaction felt good. “What an unbelievable bastard. He not only cheated on you but deliberately spent your money, knowing he would break up with you?”

“Dr. Dick, right?”

“Dr. motherfucking son of a bitch is more like it.” The genuine anger in Branson’s tone was balm for Ryder’s wounded soul.

“I concur.”

“So now what? You’re going to stay with your parents for an entire year? That sounds like hell, no offense.”

Ryder sighed. “My parents are amazing and very supportive, but yes. It’s hell.” He hesitated. He’d already shared so much he might as well come clean. “Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t stay that long. They’re selling their house and moving to a senior living community.”

“Oh, shit. Can you buy their house?”

“Aside from not having the money, they live in Frederick. It’s too far a commute for me. I need something much closer to Langley.”

“The housing market around here is insane.”

“You live close, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I own an apartment in McLean, about a fifteen-minute drive. A little less without traffic. But I know I’m lucky. I’d never have been able to afford it if my parents hadn’t helped me out. The median house price in McLean is, like, eight hundred thousand. Apartments are cheaper but still horribly overpriced. My parents loaned me the money for a large down payment so my monthly payment would be doable.”

“My parents do well enough, but they’re not in that range.” He yawned. “I’m sorry, but I’ll have to leave now. I have at least an hour’s drive ahead of me.”

He groaned as his exhaustion hit him. He’d offer good money if he didn’t have to drive home now. Or since he didn’t have any, maybe a blow job would work? He laughed at his own lame attempt at humor.

“Come home with me.”

Ryder jerked up his head and gaped at Branson. “What?”

“Come home with me. To sleep. So you don’t have to drive.”

“I…I can’t.” The answer came automatically.

“Why not?”

Ryder’s brain went blank. He had to have a reason, right? But what was it? Something about being coworkers… But if all they did was sleep, why would that be a problem? If any other coworker had offered, would he have refused as well? No. He would’ve jumped at the opportunity, though he didn’t like the disruption in his routine. That was a small price to pay for saving two hours of driving…

“I promise I won’t put any pressure on you to do anything more than sleep.”

Branson sounded hurt. Did he think that Ryder’s hesitation was because he didn’t trust Branson? “I know. You’ve proven that to me.”

Relief bloomed on Branson’s face. “Okay, glad to hear that. I wasn’t sure if that played a role, if you thought I wouldn’t honor my promise of keeping my hands off you.”

“It doesn’t, I assure you.”

“Then why did you hesitate?”

He stared at him, thoughts tumbling through his head, none of them helpful. Finally, he took a deep breath. “Let me text my parents that I won’t be home tonight.”

He felt the joy on Branson’s face deep into his soul, though why it hit him so hard, he didn’t understand.