Puzzle by Nora Phoenix
24
“Come on in.” Branson was feeling strangely nervous as he led Ryder into his apartment. At least it was clean, since the cleaning lady had done her job the day before. Paying for a service to stop by weekly to clean had been the best investment ever. “Alexa, turn on the living room.”
God bless technology.
“Nice place,” Ryder said. “Roomier than I had expected.”
“It’s a two-bedroom. When I bought it, I had hoped that… Well, I’d hoped I’d find a partner at some point, hence the extra bedroom so we’d have the space for, I don’t know, a guest bedroom or a study or maybe a family.”
Branson took Ryder’s jacket and hung it on the coat rack, along with his own.
“You’d want a family?”
“I’ve always wanted kids. It hasn’t happened so far, but it’s not too late.” He kicked off his shoes. “Can I get you something to drink?”
When he met Ryder’s eyes, he found him studying Branson. “You’re much more open about yourself.”
He sighed. “Yes. After you told me that, I had a conversation with my mom and my sister, and it turns out you were right. I never realized it, in my defense. They erm… My sister had some more truths to share with me.”
“I never meant to make you face things you weren’t ready for.”
“I know. You didn’t. I needed to hear it, confronting as it was. But ever since, I’ve been conscious about answering your questions rather than deflecting them. It’s strange and a little scary, but you make it easy.”
“I do?” Ryder looked surprised.
“Yes. At first sight, you seem like a nerd, a total geek, and I know that for me, a lot of preconceived notions came into play. I didn’t expect you’d be good at social interactions, for example.”
“I’m not.”
Branson smiled at him. “You’re much better than you think. I reckoned your analytical skills would be limited to numbers, but they’re not. You’re a highly systematic thinker in general, detecting patterns and changes in them.”
“I have a hard time correctly interpreting emotions. Back in high school, they thought I was on the spectrum.”
“I’m not a psychologist, so I won’t argue with that diagnosis, but I haven’t seen much evidence of it.”
“My responses often offend people.”
“Yeah, but I think that’s because you’re very direct, and that’s what they take issue with, not the fact that what you’re saying isn’t true. And maybe they feel you don’t show empathy. You do, but you’re highly respectful of boundaries, and people may interpret that the wrong way, as if you’re not interested. They expect certain reactions, like questions, and you don’t ask them.”
Ryder seemed shocked. “Really?”
Branson nodded.
“I wanted to have a family too with my ex, but he never felt it was the right timing. In hindsight, I’m grateful, and now I don’t know if I ever want that again. The kids, maybe, but not a relationship,” Ryder said, and Branson needed a moment to realize he was referring to their earlier topic. “My best friend, Dorian, has a two-year-old daughter, and she’s amazing. When he was thirty and still single, he found a surrogate who was willing to donate her egg cells and carry his baby, and it worked out wonderfully for him.”
“You smile when you talk about him,” Branson said.
“I do? We’ve been friends since high school. The two geeky gay kids, natural friends.”
“Never dated?”
A look of horror passed over Ryder’s face. “God, no. He’s like a brother to me. Sort of.” He giggled, the sound settling low in Branson’s belly. “Although he did take that picture of my ass for the app.”
Branson swallowed. “He did? That was a work of art…but then again, so is your ass.”
“As is your cock…”
The tension between them was heavy, thick, and Branson had to make an effort to turn himself away. “If we want to keep this platonic, we need to change the subject. I already need a cold shower as it is.” He took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders. “I’ll show you where the guest room is.”
Ryder was quiet as Branson pointed out the bathroom they’d have to share, as well as the guest bedroom. “Let me grab you a towel. I’m sure I have a new toothbrush somewhere. I don’t have guests often, but I buy them in bulk.”
“You don’t bring hookups here?”
“Never. No exceptions.”
“I guess I should feel honored, then.”
Branson picked up on Ryder’s effort to keep it light, but he still wanted to set the record straight. “You’re not a hookup. You’re a coworker and…maybe a friend?”
“Maybe?”
Ryder said it in a teasing tone, and Branson played along. “Considering the jury is still out on whether you wanted to become friends with me, I thought I’d be careful in how I worded it.”
“You know, I think I’ll take you up on that invitation after all.”
The joy that exploded inside Branson at those words was completely irrational and disproportional, but he couldn’t help it. “Yeah?”
Ryder put his hand against Branson’s cheek, and he froze. Ryder had never touched him spontaneously before, and he was afraid to even breathe. “You’ve proven yourself to me. You don’t have to worry about me not trusting you anymore…Bran.”
Branson snorted at that last addition. “Unlike you, I don’t have a problem with you calling me that.”
“No?” Much to Branson’s disappointment, Ryder dropped his hand. “I’ll have to find something else to call you, then, if my goal was to annoy you…but it’s not, I assure you.”
“Not to bring back the whole topic, but why do you hate it so much, being called Ry?”
“It’s Dorian’s name for me, and he deserves that honor. He’s earned it.”
“Fair enough. I won’t use it again.”
“You haven’t, not since our talk.”
“Are you sure? Because I might’ve used it out of habit.”
“Oh, I’m sure. Trust me, I would’ve called you out on it otherwise.”
Branson grinned. “Yeah, you would’ve. I like that, you know, that you’re not afraid to confront me. Not everyone has the guts.”
“Why? It’s not like you’re so scary…”
“I think it’s more of a mental thing, but whatever. Anyway, do you want to borrow some underwear from me? Clean underwear, I mean.”
Ryder was silent for a moment, then burst out in laughter. “What, like I’d want to borrow your dirty underwear?”
Branson laughed sheepishly. “I dunno, maybe you wanted to use them to jerk off to? You know, help remind you of the greatest fuck of your life?”
Ryder’s laugh stilled. “I don’t need your underwear for that, believe me. My memories of that night are vivid enough without them.”
And here they were again, staring at each other, standing way too close, while the room seemed charged with electricity. “So far, that whole concept of staying away from you isn’t going great,” Branson said hoarsely.
“No, it’s not.” Ryder sighed. “Though we did manage well enough at work.”
“True, but we’re in a professional environment there, everything reminding us of the importance of our jobs. Here, we’re…”
“We’re two guys who shared something special.”
“You thought it was special?”
“Yes. I thought it was spectacular while we were at it, but I analyzed afterward, and it’s safe to say it was the best sex I ever had.”
Branson didn’t know what to say. Sure, that was a wonderful compliment, but what a sad truth for Ryder, who had been in a relationship for years. “It’s none of my business, and feel free to tell me to fuck off, but were things not good with your ex?”
Ryder looked at the floor, jamming his hands into his pockets. “He thought I was too demanding.”
“Demanding?”
“Yes. Because I was too vocal in expressing my sexual wishes. Paul favored a more traditional bottom, I suppose. One that was content to let the top do whatever he wanted.”
Branson hadn’t thought it possible to hate someone he’d never even met and had no idea what he looked like, but here he was. What an unbelievable asshat. “You know that’s BS, right?”
Ryder nodded. “I do now, but it took me a while. I think it was because he wanted to be able to focus on his own pleasure without having to worry about me getting what I wanted from it. In his opinion, an orgasm was an orgasm, and he did the bare minimum to make me come, which really isn’t that hard. But orgasms definitely come in levels or maybe categories, and whatever system you use to classify them, the ones he gave me rank low.”
“Like jerking off because you have to, because it’s been too long or you have something important coming up where you can’t allow your dick to distract you, so you rub one out, but you’re tired and not invested in it, so you come, but it’s all meh, and minutes later, you can barely remember you had an orgasm.”
Ryder blinked, then burst out laughing. “Yes, exactly like that! I’ve never heard someone describe it like that, but that’s perfect.”
How Branson loved the sound and the sight of Ryder’s laugh. He did it in the same way he did everything else: with full devotion, all in. The visceral way Branson reacted made him take a step back.
Ryder’s smile faded. “Did I do something wrong?”
Branson’s heart broke for him. “No. Not unless you count being so goddamn adorable that I needed to create some physical distance, or I would kiss the shit out of you.”
Ryder swallowed. “Oh.”
“And I don’t want that.”
“You don’t want to kiss me? Now I’m confused.”
“Oh, make no mistake. I want to not only kiss you but do a hell of a lot more.”
“L-like what?” Ryder whispered.
Branson couldn’t stop now if he’d wanted to. The words just tumbled out. “Like spend a few hours worshiping your ass with my hands, my tongue, my cock…especially my cock. I love edging, and I bet I could prevent you from coming for a long, long time to the point where you’d beg me. But I also want to suck you off, taste you, swallow down your load. I’m a dirty man, chéri, in case you missed it.”
Ryder’s mouth had dropped open, and he needed a few seconds to compose himself again. “Ch-chéri?”
“It means someone you treasure, who you cherish, in French. I figured if I can’t call you Ry, I’d come up with a term of endearment of my own.”
“Oh. Okay. That’s… That was quite descriptive. I’m not sure if… I think I’d be on board with that, actually.”
Branson’s heart skipped a beat. “Yeah?”
Did Ryder even notice he’d drifted closer to Branson? They were only inches apart now, close enough for Ryder’s smell to embrace Branson, hardening his cock even more.
“Mmm.”
Branson inhaled deeply, then balled his fists and took a step back. “As much as I’d love to rip off your clothes and bend you over the couch right now…I won’t. I made a promise I wouldn’t touch you, and I need to keep it. If not for you, then for myself. I would love, love, love to take you to bed again…but you’ll have to come to me. It needs to be your choice, made in a moment of rational thinking, not another impulsive decision guided by our dicks. We both deserve more.”
He took a deep breath, then slowly released it as he retreated even farther, feeling prouder of himself than he had in a long, long time. “Sleep well, chéri.”
