My Fiancé’s Bodyguard by Ivy Wild

I watchedher as she slept. The rise and fall of her naked chest was so fucking peaceful. A large part of me wanted to just take her and disappear to some island in the Caribbean where no one would know us or care.

But I knew neither of our lives were that simple.

What the fuck was I doing?

What the fuck was I even thinking? And of course, the little princess had to be a virgin. I’d been way off the mark with her. She was so goddamn sure of herself when she talked and the way she acted around me that time in her bedroom.

Fuck.

I was so fucking fucked it wasn’t even funny.

Everything.

All of it.

Five years of work.

Five years of risk.

For a bit of untouched pussy.

But maybe my dick knew better than my head. Because Madelyn was so much more than just a good lay. What she’d said to me nearly broke me when she’d said it.

It spoke to me in a way that it shouldn’t have.

Someone like her, from her upbringing, with her wealth, shouldn’t have been able to connect with my fucked up life so easily.

With the notion of wanting something for yourself. Of wanting to make sure no one else had control over you. Of not wanting to be reliant on others.

The girl was more gangster than most of the kids working for Johnny.

“Fuck,” I breathed out.

She moved in the bed and turned to look at me. It was around dusk and the suite was dark, but even still, her blue eyes shined, giving off “You’re so fucking screwed” signals to my brain.

“Hey,” she said groggily. “You okay?”

I nodded, not sure what to say. What did you even say to a girl after you took her virginity? Well, after she gave it to you. This was new territory for me. Most of the girls I’d hooked up with were experienced and the majority were professionals.

She was silent for a beat before she finally spoke. “So, what happens now?”

I winced. It was the question I’d been dreading because it was one I didn’t have the answer to. Was I just supposed to hand her over to Johnny, knowing who Johnny was and how he treated his laundry list of wives?

But, if I didn’t, I might as well flush the last five years of risk and my chance at revenge down the drain because there was no coming back if I ever got found out.

Shit.

“I don’t know,” I replied honestly.

She sat up in bed and pulled the sheet toward her. She looked down to play with the fabric a bit as she spoke. “I knew what this was when I initiated, Max. I’m not looking for you to hide me out or something.”

“Good,” I let slip past my lips. She didn’t say anything, but even I knew what I’d said stung. I turned around to face her, not letting myself touch her even though that’s all I wanted to do.

She gave me a sad smile and I could feel it in my soul. She looked right through me the way no one in my life ever had. As if she knew what made me tick and that it wasn’t my heart.

“Why are you with Johnny, Max? You don’t belong there. Something else is going on.”

I gave her a lazy smile, trying desperately not to crack under her bright blue eyes.

“Whattya mean?”

She gave me a knowing look. “I mean, you’re obviously not from Boston since you haven’t dropped one 'r' the entire time I’ve known you. And,” she looked down briefly and shrugged. “I dunno. I just have a feeling about you. About the real you. So who are you really?” She looked back up at me with those baby blues and fuck if they didn’t break me.

I was no pussy.

I’d been to war.

I’d seen combat.

I’d lost people.

I’d taken people.

I meant what I said to her when I said I wasn’t some white knight.

I’d been tortured, beaten and broken and I’d never cracked under the pressure.

But, when the fucking princess asked me that question and looked at me that way, my lips started moving, spilling secrets I’d sworn I’d take to my grave all over the fucking room.

“I didn’t mean for any of it to happen this way,” I said. “Johnny, Dimes, you. It’s all fucked up and I just feel like I’ve been in it for so long I don’t know what the fuck I’m even doing anymore.”

She inched closer to me and put her hand on mine. She was the fucking girl who had just lost her virginity to a punk like me. It was her that was supposed to be getting all emotional and instead I was the one breaking all over the fucking place.

“It’s okay. You can talk to me,” she said calmly.

My head fell into her lap as I leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. The fan circled above us, and I watched the blades pass one by one, almost as if the very motion was unwinding me.

“You’re right. I didn’t grow up here. I grew up in Kentucky, outside of Frankfort. It was rural but peaceful and fuck, there’s nothing quite like a Midwest sunset. But, I didn’t have any prospects when getting out of high school. My parents were laborers on a farm, and I knew that wasn’t sustainable. So, I did what every good midwestern boy does and I enlisted.

“Was in the Army, but I guess my Sergeant saw something in me. Hell, who knows. But, I ended up signing up for the Rangers. Passed Ranger school and got assigned to the 75th’s Regimental Reconnaissance Company. A buddy of mine went through school with me. You form bonds there unlike any others.

“It’s a month-long thing where they drop you off in the middle of fucking nowhere with a 75-pound backpack and a destination hundreds of miles away. Get there in a week or die sort of thing.

“Billy and I were two of only five guys that passed in our class. We deployed to Afghanistan together and I was fucking glad for it. So was he, I think. Anyways, first mission was to recover the bodies of some Navy SEALS that had been killed during an operation. We hunted the fuckers that did it and pinned them down in the mountains. And you know what those fuckers did?”

She shook her head, but stayed quiet. I knew I was rambling but this was shit I hadn’t talked to anyone about and I couldn’t stop it from pouring out.

“They sent a kid out in front of them with a bomb strapped to his chest and holding an automatic rifle. A fucking kid. He could barely lift the thing. Billy tried to reason with him, but it was no good. Kid knew they’d kill him if he didn’t shoot. He had a better chance at survival through them than he did us.”

I put my arm over my eyes to cover up the moisture that was accumulating.

“Billy took him out and disarmed the explosive. Mission was a success. At least that’s what was announced on the news. We did our tours until we got too old. You don’t really think about all the shit that’s behind you when you keep moving forward. It’s only when you stop that the stench catches up with you.

“And it caught up with Billy. We got out and he wasn’t right. Tried to get help but it didn’t stick.” I sighed. “Some quack in an office who thinks Europe is exotic isn’t gonna be able to help you process shit like what Billy was living through. But drugs.” I chuckled darkly. “Those will at least help you forget for a little while.

“I kicked his ass for it when I found out. I got it, but I didn’t want to see him go out that way. He promised he’d stop and I believed him. Still do.

“He called me the next day. Panicked. Told me he was into it bad. That he owed someone money and that when he said he was out, the debt came due. Said they were after him.”

I choked back the guilt and continued.

“He was found in a rundown motel the next day dead. Overdose they claimed.”

Madelyn stayed quiet, but started running her fingers through my hair. I was helpless to stop her.

“I knew it wasn’t right. No way he’d OD. I went to the police. Nothin’. They said it was open and shut and they had no reason to investigate further on the panicked call of a junkie. Fuckin' twats.

“I scheduled a meeting with the District Attorney. You know, the state’s lawyer? The guy that’s supposed to find out if shady shit is going down and prosecute it? Yeah, well he was just as fucking useless.

“So, I took matters into my own hands. I wasn’t just gonna let Billy get murdered and sit by and watch. He deserved better than that.”

I sighed heavily. “So, now you know. I followed the drug trade and traced it to the Maldonado’s. That’s why I am where I am. For the last five years I’ve been trying to work my way up. Find out who’s in charge of what. How things work. Understand who would order hits on a guy who was just trying to silence the demons in his own head.”

I let my arm fall, the darkness of the room covering up my shame.

“And somewhere along the line, I think I got lost in it. The trail’s gone cold. But, I’m just holding out. Hoping that something will turn up. I’m in it too deep now. There’s no going back. The only way out is through it. Otherwise I’m just some criminal. No better than them.”

Her fingers stilled in my hair, and I turned to look at her. Her blue eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and her fingers moved down against my cheek. The feeling of her touch felt good—too good.

“You went to the DA?”

“The what?”

“The DA. The District Attorney?” she asked.

I furrowed my brows. Of all the things to ask me about, that’s what she picked up on? “Yeah.”

“Mark Stagg. Was that his name?”

I propped myself up on my elbow and looked at her. I nodded my head slowly. “That’s right.”

She gulped. “He’s my brother-in-law,” she said with wide eyes. “My father set my sister up with him.”

I laid back down on her lap and sighed. “So, you got connections. What’s that mean for me?”

She leaned over me and caught my eyes. A single tear fell from her eyes and landed on my cheek. It burned a path down my skin.

“You don’t understand. I—I heard something one night.”

I sat up and met her gaze.

She shook her head. “I was in high school. Maybe fifteen? I’d gotten up to get water and I heard my father on the phone in his study. He hadn’t closed the door all the way and I hid behind one of the columns to listen.”

She looked up at me and gulped.

“He was talking to Mark. Telling him not to investigate.”

My breath left me as she said the words.

“Max, I think he was talking about your friend.”

“Fuck.”

“It gets worse,” she added.

Fuck.

“My mother.” Tears welled in the corners of her eyes but she kept her gaze on me. “She died the same way. Mysteriously. Of drugs. But she didn’t use. My father told me I was too young to understand, but even as a kid I knew. Mom started fighting with my father when I was little. When he started having meetings behind closed doors.

“They had this big fight one night. You know, the kind where as a kid you’re scared but you still hide out trying to understand what’s going on? She was yelling at him about business. Saying she would go to the cops. She was dead within a week.

“I never told him I’d overheard them. I think even as a kid I knew that if I did, it would be dangerous for me.”

I was quiet for a beat, trying to process the information.

“You think—” I started to say but trailed off.

But she understood me and nodded her head. “I think Johnny and my father are in business together. I think my father knows about your friend’s death. And I think they had my mother killed too.”

“Fuck.”

I kept saying the word like it was gonna somehow turn my brain back on. I got up off the bed and started pacing around the room. It was a bad habit but I couldn’t sit still when I was trying to think. She watched me and stayed quiet.

“Fuck, so then, your father and Johnny and fuck!”

I stopped to look at her and she was giving me eyes full of conviction. “I want to know what happened to my mother, Max. And you want to know what happened to your friend. The man is trying to sell me to the man that might be responsible for my mother’s death. He’s not exactly someone I’m loyal to.”

“This ain’t no game, Maddie,” I said. “If these people find out about us, we will both wish they killed us. I’ve seen it and it ain’t pretty. I don’t think you know what you’re offering to get yourself mixed up in.”

She shook her head and climbed to the edge of the bed, letting the sheet drop. She reached her arms out to me and beckoned me closer. I relented and she put her hands on my chest.

“Look into my eyes and tell me if you see any doubt.”

I hesitated.

“Because there is none. I’d rather die a slow and painful death knowing I did everything I could to avenge my mother than to live a comfortable life by stomping on her grave.” She paused. “And I think that’s how you feel about Billy. Which is why you are where you are.”

I was so fucking screwed. This girl meant every word of it and if things went south, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle hers and Billy’s deaths on my conscience.

But, I also knew that there was no refusing this offer. I’d been in this game for five years and things had gone cold. This was the first hot meal I’d had in half a decade and my willpower just wasn’t that strong.

“There’s no going back from this,” I said. “Once you’re in, you’re in and that’s it.”

She stood and put my hand over her chest and covered it with her own. “The only way out is through.”

I pulled her into me so we were chest to chest. “And one steady pull more ought to do it.”

I kissed her deep and she didn’t fight it.