Legacy by M.A. Foster
_____________________________
Dylan
“Hey.”
I look over my shoulder to see Cole hovering behind me. “Hey. Thanks for meeting me here.”
“Yeah.” He gestures to Jade’s headstone. “Why are we doing this here?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “I feel like since she’s the reason for this conversation, it should happen here.”
“I get it.” He drops down in the grass beside me and heaves a deep breath. A beat passes before he says, “I went to Dr. Graham’s office to get my physical and bumped into her. Literally. I didn’t recognize her.” He huffs in disbelief. “I even congratulated her on her baby. Then she came to the house and told me the baby was mine. I basically called her a liar. She said there wasn’t anyone else—”
“Just me,” I say.
“I’m sorry, Dylan.”
I keep my eyes trained straight ahead. “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, Cole. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Then why have you been so shitty to me for the past three years?”
“Because I’m an asshole. Because I was harboring a lot of heartbreak and guilt, and sometimes it was just easier to project it onto you. Because it’s taken three years to accept the fact that none of us did anything wrong. You, me, Harper, Willow, and even Jade, we’re all victims of circumstance.”
“Will you tell me your side of the story?”
I look over at him. “Harper didn’t tell you? It was in Jade’s journal.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t want to hear your story from Harper. I want to hear it from you. The part I read and the reason I knew you were somehow a part of this is because Jade wrote, ‘I have to tell Dylan that his brother is Willow’s father.’ I asked Harper if she knew anything about you and Jade. She thought you two were just friends, but I know better, Dylan. You’ve always been a broody motherfucker, but you were still fun. You never treated me like an annoying little brother. You were cool, and I loved hanging out with you. For the longest time, I thought you were pissed at me for getting you in trouble with Dad, because you turned into a completely different person after that day.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat. “You don’t know anything?”
“No.” He shakes his head again. “That’s why I’ve been trying to get you to talk to me. I know I’ve been a dick. I’m sorry for punching you, and for the shitty things I said that day.”
I still remember what he said like it was yesterday. “Is that why you’ve been such a dick to me for the past two years? Because I fucked your little girlfriend? Are you reminded of it every time you look at our daughter?”
His words were like an arrow straight through the heart. More painful than a fist to the jaw.
“I’d just read that shit and found out two people I cared about were lying to me,” he continues. “Then you were just there, and I lost my temper. There’s no excuse for it, but….” He shrugs as if to say “It is what it is.”
“Jade and I were more than friends, but our relationship was very complicated,” I admit.
“She was the secret girlfriend. The one you were on the phone with that night at Mac’s. I remember we teased you about it.”
“Yeah,” I breathe, plucking a few blades of grass. “We’d been hanging out for a while, but I think we officially became a couple around Christmastime. She was an anomaly, and I liked the way she made me feel. I’d never put so much effort into a relationship as I did with her, and she had all the control. I’d invited her to Mac’s that night because I wanted her to see me perform with the band, and to meet my family. She said she was tired. A week later, she showed up at the house hysterical and crying. She told me she’d made a mistake. I thought she cheated on me. She said it was worse, and to me, I didn’t think it could get worse than cheating. She told me about that night, or at least what she could remember.” I rub a hand over my jaw. “Who the hell does that? I was pissed, but I was willing to let it go because technically we weren’t a couple then. I figured I’d get over it and we’d move on, but then she dropped the pregnancy bomb on me. I asked her if there was a chance that the baby was mine. She said she was too far along. So, I broke up with her.”
“I would’ve broken up with her, too,” he insists. “Why was she so pissed at you that night? If I remember correctly, you practically dumped Zach and me in the backyard to go hang out with her, right?”
“Yeah. I wasn’t even planning to go to the party because we were leaving for California the next morning. But then she texted me and wanted to hang out. So, I told her to meet me there. Then I did something really stupid.”
“Dylan, we all did something stupid that night. This whole situation is filled with mistakes, lies, pain, guilt, grief. I think the only good thing to come out of this is Willow and Harper.”
I exhale a puff of air through my nose. “I think you’re right.” It’s been a while since I thought about the girl with the bright eyes. “There was this girl—”
Cole snorts. “There’s always a girl.”
Facts.“I know, and that’s where everything went sideways. Jade thought I blew her off for this girl, but it wasn’t like that. Remember when you met Harper for the first time?”
“Yeah,” he drawls. “You told me to stay away from her, but there was something about her that felt familiar. I had to know what it was—”
“So you went after her,” I interject.
He jerks his head to the side. “Is that what you did?”
I nod. “I’d seen the girl once before then, on prom night. We were at Splash, and I saw her on the dance floor. She was the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. Owen was there, and he’ll tell you. She had these eyes that practically glowed in the dark. I looked away for a second, and then she was gone. Three and a half years later, she walked into the Kappa Omega house with a group of girls. I wasn’t blowing Jade off, but I had to know why I felt this pull from a complete stranger. I lied to Jade and told her I was going to the bathroom. I didn’t know she’d been watching me the entire time. As soon as I walked away from her, she took off. If I hadn’t walked off, none of this would’ve happened.”
“Maybe not.” He sighs. “But again, I wouldn’t have Willow… and Harper. What happened with the other girl?”
I huff out a hollow laugh. “I lost her in the crowd. When I went back to Jade, she was gone.”
He draws in a deep cleansing breath through his nose. “Here’s how I see it. Yeah, it was a douchebag move on your part, but she just took off. I don’t care how pissed she was. She knew you were into her. She could’ve waited until you came back and confronted you. Slapped you in the face or punched you in the dick.” He runs a hand over his short hair. “I saw her come out of the house alone. She looked upset, and a dozen scenarios went through my head, one of them being that someone had hurt her. I watched her cut across the lawn and start walking down the street. I didn’t like that she was walking by herself, so I went up to her and asked if she was okay. She said she was fine, but I remember Mac used to say that when a woman says she’s fine, she’s not fine. I insisted she let me walk her to her car. She said, ‘Whatever’ and even made some snarky comment about how I looked too young to be in college. I lied and told her I was eighteen, and a freshman. She walked a step ahead of me, and she didn’t say anything else. She didn’t even look at me. Then she got behind the wheel, and I don’t know if it was because she was angry or she had too much to drink, but something in the back of my mind told me to stay with her for a little bit. I got in the passenger seat. She turned on the radio and just stared out the window. She didn’t seem to mind me being there, so I reclined the seat a little and closed my eyes. Then I felt her lips on mine, and we kissed. I’ll spare you the details because you already know what happened after that.”
“If you thought she was too drunk to drive, why did you have sex with her?”
“Dylan,” he groans, frustrated. “It was all her. Don’t get me wrong, I was all for it, but she started it. She’s the one who kissed me. She’s the one who wanted to get in the back seat. She’s the one who undid my pants and told me to hurry as I was struggling to put on the condom. She’s the one who climbed on top of me. My story isn’t much different from Zach’s, except that afterward, she said it was a mistake and kicked me out of her car.” He swallows hard, and releases a shaky breath. “I was fifteen and I’d just lost my virginity to a hot college girl. That should’ve been my glory moment. Something to brag about to my friends, right? Instead, she made me feel like I did something wrong. Zach’s story that night was much better. When you asked me if I’d hooked up with anyone, I was embarrassed. So I lied. Maybe if I hadn’t, things would’ve been different.”
“Maybe.”
“Dad told me about the confrontation with Harper and that you wanted to tell me but he said not to. I get that it was a lot of information and he was worried, but I wish you would’ve told me the truth from day one.”
I look over at him. “Told you what? That I knew Jade? That I was in a relationship with her? That when she told me she was pregnant that night and the baby wasn’t mine, that it was the first time I’d ever had my heart broken? That before I left for California, she came over to my apartment and asked me what I thought of the name Willow? That I told her it was perfect, and then we had sex, which completely messed with my head because we were still broken up? That while I was in California, I decided I wanted to be with her? That I loved her, and it didn’t matter if she was pregnant with another man’s child, because I would be there? That coming home to our father in tears because his sixteen-year-old son had a baby with a girl he had sex with at a party—a party I’d taken him to—rocked me to my core? That somehow through all the chaos and confusion, I managed to put the pieces together, and my entire world imploded, along with every hope I had of a future?” My voice wavers as tears pool in my eyes.
“Jesus.” He drops his head.
“How does that make you feel, Cole?” I ask as the first tear spills down my face.
“Sick.”
“Now pile that on top of everything you felt the day your entire life was flipped upside down,” I explain, exhaling a shuddered breath. “I hope you can understand why it was so hard for me. It wasn’t fair to dump that on you. It was a lot to process, and it took a long time to work through it. But I had to do it in my own time. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“I get it.” He sniffs. “Does being around Willow make it harder on you?”
I avert my gaze. “The first year was hard, and not because I didn’t love Willow. I loved her before she was even born. Watching you with her—seeing the panic and fear on your face every time she cried—made me sick with guilt. You were always a good kid, and you didn’t deserve to be punished for an unintentional mistake. But I saw the way she made you smile and laugh. The love in your eyes….” I shake my head. “I knew you were gonna be okay. You’re a good dad.” Sadness settles in my chest. “Jade would’ve been a good mom. She was so scared, but she was so in love with her baby.”
A comfortable silence stretches between us as we both work to get our emotions in check.
“I’ve told Harper repeatedly that she shouldn’t feel guilty for being with me. That she didn’t steal her sister’s life.” His eyes well up with tears again. “But now I get it, because I feel like I stole yours.”
Closing my eyes, I let his words wash over me and the guilt I’ve struggled with for the last three years churns in my stomach. “You didn’t, Cole. That’s why I’ve been avoiding this conversation. I don’t ever want you to think that. Yes, I’ve been angry, but never with you. Not really. I’ve been mostly angry with myself for getting wrapped up in Jade without really knowing her. Then Harper showed up and all of Jade’s lies just came to the surface, which only hurt and pissed me off even more. What’s that saying Mimi uses? If it barks like a dog—”
“It’s a motherfucking dog,” he finishes with a laugh.
I smirk. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how the saying goes.”
“Yeah, but Mimi’s version is better.”
“True.”
Standing, I hold out my hand to Cole, helping him to his feet. Then we silently say our goodbyes to Jade, before heading to our cars.
“I can’t help but wonder, what if I hadn’t run into her at the doctor’s office that day?” he says. “Where would Willow be?” His whole body shudders. “What if she’d ended up with a family who didn’t love her?”
I reach over and squeeze his shoulder. “Don’t let yourself get caught up in the what-ifs. I’ve been there for three years, and it’s not a fun place to be.”
We stop beside his truck that’s parked in front of mine, and he turns to face me. “I’m sorry this happened, Dylan. I’m sorry Willow lost her mother. I’m sorry Harper lost her sister. I’m sorry you lost the girl you loved. I know everything happens for a reason, and I believe that reason is Willow. I didn’t ask for her, but she was given to me for a reason I’ll never fully understand. She’s the one person I never knew I needed. The most important person in my life. She’s my reason. My world. My everything. But most of all, I’m sorry because if I could go back and change what happened, I wouldn’t, because I can’t imagine my life without Willow.” He draws in a shaky breath. “Then there’s Harper. I know she’s made her fair share of mistakes, but she’s an incredible, loving human, and I can’t wait to marry her.”
“Just don’t elope.” I joke.
“Fuck that. Harper deserves a real wedding, but not until she’s twenty-one, because she wants to drink. Her words,” he adds with a chuckle. “I don’t care when we get married as long as it’s in Heritage Bay and preferably before the draft.”
“Why before the draft?” I ask.
“Because who knows where I’ll end up?” He leans against the driver door of his SUV. “A move is going to be stressful enough on Harper and Willow. Planning a wedding from hundreds or even thousands of miles away from family and friends….” He shakes his head.
“I’m proud of you, Cole. If anyone deserves to have this much good, it’s you.”
He gives me a pointed look. “No, Dylan. It’s you. If I’ve learned one thing from our family, it’s that everything plays out exactly the way it’s supposed to. I know you loved Jade, and I’m sorry she broke your heart. I truly am sorry for my part in all of it. But like I said, everything happens for a reason, and your reason is still out there.”
“Oh, you get engaged and now you’re schooling me on love,” I tease.
“I can’t help it.” Cole laughs.
“All right, I’m taking off.” I pull him into a hug and slap him on the back. “I love you, little brother.”
“I love you, too, big brother.”
I make my way to my truck parked in front of his, and just as I reach for the door, Cole calls out, “Hey, Dylan!”
I turn around. “Yeah?”
“Mimi has another saying, ‘No matter how far we fall, we always land on our feet. We’re destined for success. It’s our legacy.’”