Hope on the Rocks by Annabeth Albert
Thirty-Six
Adam
“We have a wedding to plan!” My mom greeted me with a muffin, a hug, and boundless enthusiasm for Ramona’s big news the night before. I’d seen Quinn off to work, then headed to Mom’s to catch her post-breakfast rush and before I headed to the tavern.
“Actually, you, Ramona, and Darren have a wedding to plan.” I accepted the muffin and a mug of coffee and settled in at her kitchen table for a long-overdue chat. Tossing a wet blanket over her excitement for the upcoming wedding made my stomach go sour, but drawing better boundaries needed to start somewhere. “I’ll help where I can, but I’m going to let you all take point on planning.”
“What’s wrong?” Refreshing her coffee, Mom then took a seat next to me. “Aren’t you happy for Ramona?”
“Of course, I’m happy.” I stirred my coffee, watching the cream swirl rather than meet her concerned stare. “It’s great news, and Darren will be an excellent addition to the family.”
“But?”
“But we need to talk. Not about that. But…” I sucked in a deep breath. This was a silly thing to need courage for, but I did. Admitting that I couldn’t do everything Mom needed was hard, so hard. My voice came out all thick. “I need you to hire a handyperson. Someone to have for errands and minor fixes. Someone to delegate to.”
“Someone not you?” Her tone was gentler than I’d expected, and that loosened some of the tension in my neck and shoulders.
“Yeah. I’m sorry. I love you. I love helping, I really do.” I took her hand, squeezed it. “But there are only so many hours in a day…”
“And you’d like to spend more of them with Quinn?” she prompted when I trailed off.
“That’s part of it, yeah. But the other part is that it’s taking a toll on my health.” It was important to me that I not blame this change on Quinn or our relationship, so I was careful to keep my voice steady and firm. “I need to cut back in areas where I can. And I need to do it for me, not Quinn.”
“I understand.” She nodded sagely.
“You do?” I narrowed my eyes, not sure I trusted this ready agreement, especially given how much I’d built this up in my head, anticipating all her objections, none of which seemed to be coming.
“Of course. I always knew this day would come. I’ve enjoyed having you around, maybe a little too much.” Mouth twisting, she shrugged. “I probably wasn’t the fairest to you, honestly. I’ve come to rely on how you always volunteer, and you’ve been a tremendous help, but I know that you need your own life too.”
She ducked her head to study the scarred tabletop. So many years at this table. So many memories. So much love. Maybe she had taken advantage of my willingness to do favors, but I’d also happily let her. We did need changes, but I wasn’t angry at her.
“Yeah. I do. But I also need to know that you’re taken care of.” I tilted my head so I could meet her lowered gaze. “That’s why I need you to hire someone. No more patching together assistance using favors. If money is a problem, I can try to help—”
“I don’t need your money, sweetie.” Looking up, she waved away that notion with a flick of her wrist. “Tourism has been way up ever since the resort opened. Business is good. I can afford someone. It’s more that I’ve been selfish, relying on you rather than hunting down someone else because that was easiest and meant I got to see you. And getting more help is something they’ve talked to me about at the clinic.”
“Are you okay?” Instantly on edge, I leaned forward.
“Yes, of course.” She kissed the top of my head. “But the blood pressure meds might work better if I learned to delegate a little more.”
“Delegating is good. Darren’s going to need something while he’s job hunting.” I’d thought about this idea while driving over. “Maybe while you’re interviewing possible permanent assistants, he can help some and you can pay him.”
“That’s an excellent idea. I want to help him and Ramona get a good start, but pride makes it tough to help with money. Paying him to do some work for me is a great solution. And like you said, I can put the word out, start looking for someone long-term.”
“Exactly. I hate leaving you—”
“You’re not leaving me,” she corrected like I was twelve and using poor grammar. “You’re family. I’m not at all mad. You’re my kid. You can move on without leaving us behind.”
“Yeah.” My throat was so tight it was a wonder the words squeaked out at all. “I owe you so much.”
“You think it doesn’t go both ways?” She made a dismissive noise. I didn’t think it was that easy or that simple, but maybe I could work on letting go of guilt and instead celebrating my luck at landing such a good mom. It was possible that the debt that I’d carried around for years now had never truly existed. Like Quinn said, I was worthy of my own life, and Mom did seem to agree. “I never could have made this business even half as successful without you and Ramona, you especially. The only thing you owe me is to try to be happy.”
“I am. Quinn makes me happy, Mom.” He made me so much more than happy, but I wasn’t going to say the words to her before I managed to tell Quinn. I almost had the night before, but making up had been too new and fresh. When I finally told him, I wanted him to believe me.
“I’m glad.” Her eyes took on a misty cast.
“And I know you’re frustrated about him not sharing Ramona’s news.”
“That wasn’t very charitable of me. I need to let that go. He had professional obligations and personal ones too.” Sighing, she grabbed a plastic bag from a box on the table and plucked a muffin from the basket. “Here. Take him something for later. Tell him no hard feelings.”
“I will.” I exhaled right along with her, one less thing to worry about.
“And you might want a look at this.” She handed me a stack of computer printouts, pages rumpled and covered in pen circles and handwritten notes.
“What’s this?”
“A list of possible new properties. Fixer-uppers mainly. Things that aren’t on the market quite yet but that my realtor friend expects to come on the market in the fall after the seasonal rush dies down.”
“And you want my opinion?” Despite her ready agreement about hiring someone, I braced myself for another favor.
“Well, if you have thoughts, I’d welcome them, but I’m not trying to make more work for you. I thought maybe you might be interested for your own purposes. Moving on and all that. Find a place to put your antique liquor ads and trophy heads.”
“Oh.” This was her realizing that I couldn’t keep surfing from rental to rental for her indefinitely. My heart hammered, chest too tight to contain all my rising emotions, so I had to make myself laugh. “No way is Quinn putting up with trophy heads.”
“It’s like that, huh?” She gave me a knowing look, but she didn’t seem all that put out.
“Yeah. I’m serious about him. And I think it goes both ways.” I hoped, at least. He might be scared, but he’d said he’d trust me, and all I could do was hope I never let him down. “We want to make this work.”
“I hope you do. I’ll be rooting for you.” Smile all tender, she reached over for a one-armed hug.
“Thanks. That means a lot.”
“You happy means more.” She kissed my forehead before straightening and adopting a more business-like tone. We weren’t that different, she and I. Big hearts, but getting sappy took a lot out of us. “Now, Ramona and Darren are coming for dinner tomorrow. If you’re taking more time off, maybe you want to come too? Quinn is welcome.”
“Thanks. I’ll see.” I’d meant what I’d told Quinn about him coming first. I wasn’t going to clear my schedule only to let others fill it. I liked the idea of stopping by, but I also needed the night to be ours, establish some new habits. But I softened my hesitation by kissing her cheek. “Love you.”
I wasn’t ever going to stop loving her or Ramona, but there was room in my heart for more, and for the first time, admitting that didn’t feel quite so scary. I needed my own life and my own person. Quinn in this thing with me mattered, and I couldn’t wait to tell him how this conversation had gone. Wanting him to be proud of me was one more scary thing, but if Quinn was going to trust me, then I could work on doing the same.
