Hope on the Rocks by Annabeth Albert
Eight
Quinn
Finally. I could have gotten all indignant about Adam daring to be so blunt, but honestly, I was relieved. Not knowing when or if the topic would come up had me even more on edge than usual. Further, I admired directness as a character trait. Trying to wade through layers of subterfuge was tiring.
I was still me, though, and I made a startled noise, even as my temperature rose several degrees.
“Too bold?” Adam asked, laughing.
“No. No, I don’t think so. I like bold. I appreciate it. I don’t like chasing people down, figuring out if they actually mean what they say.”
“I don’t believe in wasting time either.”
I smiled. There was heat in his eyes—and the attraction I saw there was flattering. But what was even more appealing was how easy he was with his body, his relaxed posture. There was a kindness to his tone too. He was asking me, not pushing me.
“And I meant it. I would like to hook up. And I definitely want to hear more about your secret kinky side. No need to chase me down.” He grinned back at me. Yes, he was direct, all right, and I liked that. A lot.
He made it easy to speak more freely. Maybe talking about the issue would help because God knew ignoring it was exhausting.
“I might be interested,” I mumbled, looking down at the table and not him. “But feeding you would be the smarter answer.” I meant to joke, but my tone came out more defeated than I intended. “I’m too old to have a kinky side.”
“You’re thirty-five, Quinn. Not ancient. And even if you were seventy-five, I’m not aware of an upper age limit on kinky interests. I’m pretty sure there are senior citizens out there with paddles and handcuffs.”
I groaned because, apparently, he was going to make me spell this out. “Not all kinks age well. I’m too old to have a Daddy kink, no matter what I said the other night.”
He laughed, a full-bodied, warm chuckle. “And I’m too young to be a Daddy if I listened to half the dudes on my app, which I definitely do not.”
“Yeah, but you at least look the part.” Looking up, I let my gaze wander from his bristly beard to his built chest and muscular arms again, telling him with my eyes how hot his whole lumberjack Daddy exterior was. He might be younger than me, but he’d have no shortage of men lining up to be his boy. “I’m no longer remotely a cute twink. It feels silly admitting how much I’d like to be a Daddy’s boy. I’m a doctor.”
“There’s a part of that doctor test meant to keep the kinky folks out?” He faked shock before taking a sip of his water. “And you’re plenty cute enough.”
“Thank you. I don’t mean to sound uptight or judgmental. It’s more that I feel like my time for exploring any Daddy kink might have expired. I was too busy with school and training, and then a failed relationship, during the time most people experiment. I keep expecting to outgrow those particular desires. Get new ones.”
Adam’s shoulders rolled in another of his maddening shrugs. “And yet, you didn’t grow out of it. Kink isn’t a phase. It’s a part of someone. Like how you like vegetables, and how you get nervous so easily, or how I like to hunt. Enjoying being a Daddy is an important part of my sex life.”
“Yeah.” I couldn’t disagree with all that wisdom.
“So if it’s a part of you, why would it disappear simply because you got a degree and a mortgage?”
He had a point. Such a good one that I took a minute to serve us both some of the food, trying to figure out how to counter that.
“But it’s embarrassing,” I whispered at last, the dismissive tone of my former lover continuing to drown out Adam’s far kinder words. We’re supposed to be grownups now, Quinn.
“Being submissive is embarrassing?” Adam cocked his head. His voice was carefully neutral, as if he had to make an effort to not get angry. “Liking kink is something to be ashamed of? Is that really what you think?”
“No, of course not,” I protested. “I don’t judge others—”
“But you sure do judge yourself.” He whistled low. “If it’s okay for other consenting adults, why should they get to have all the fun?”
“Good point.” Again, I certainly couldn’t argue with his logic. “Maybe I have trouble letting myself have fun.”
“I’ve noticed.” He chuckled. “But drunk-you sure sounded like you wanted more spontaneous fun in your life.”
“I do.” I couldn’t help my sigh. If I could only get out of my own way, I could have this opportunity he was offering. And Adam was right. I did judge myself far more harshly than I judged others.
“I’m not suggesting you make porn. Or even come down to leather night if that’s not your thing.” He blew on a forkful of macaroni, and the purse of his lips made all my blood rush south. The conversation might be all kinds of uncomfortable, but my body was still very much into him. “But what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom shouldn’t make you feel bad or ashamed. And talking about those interests should feel freeing, not scary.”
“It is. I’ve never talked about much of this aloud before. The few times I tried…didn’t go well.” I gave a shaky laugh. Adam was damn wise, but still, my fingers were shaking around my fork. “I get what you’re saying, but having you know all my dirty secrets still feels rather terrifying.”
“I’m a bartender. I deal in dirty secrets. Trust me that yours doesn’t even begin to qualify. I have gossip on half the town. But I never share. Or judge.”
“You just listen.” I exhaled slowly, trying to convince my lungs that we weren’t about to run for our lives. “You’re really good at listening.”
“Well, with you, I’d like to do more than listen.” Reaching across the table, he rubbed the back of my hand. “I’m not one to kiss and tell, but I do want you, Quinn. Being a Daddy for you would be hot as hell.”
“That’s honestly what I find the most surprising.” My cheeks went solar-flare hot at the implication that he found my kinks arousing. “I’m not sure why you’d want to hook up with me. You’ve seen me at my worst. And don’t tell me it’s a shortage of partners. I’m sure there are plenty of guys willing to look past your age.”
“First, you clearly haven’t browsed many of the hookup apps around here, especially in the off-season. It can be slim pickings. And maybe I’m tired of the guys who can’t even order a beer. Young is fun and all, but it’s also exhausting. A more experienced boy is far from a turn-off.”
“Twenty-year-olds do bring a lot of drama.” I had to agree. I moved some cucumber around my plate. My stomach wasn’t into the idea of eating, but I needed a distraction.
“They do. And I’m a bartender. It’s cute that you call a one-time drunk your worst. Gory and gross don’t faze me. A little puke is easily forgiven and forgotten. I’ve also seen you at your best, and that’s the sort of thing I can’t forget.”
“Oh?” This was surprising. I’d been aware of who he was prior to Monday, and certainly been attracted to him, but we’d never had a real conversation.
“In the winter, Teddy had a terrible earache. I went with Ramona to urgent care to be moral support for her. And while we were waiting to be seen, this older guy comes in with shortness of breath. He was downright nasty to the receptionist.”
“That happens, unfortunately.” I wracked my memories for which day this might have been.
“You were passing behind the desk, probably dealing with twenty other important doctor tasks, but you stopped when you heard his tirade. ‘I’ve got this,’ you told the receptionist. And you took him back yourself. “
“Oh.” Now I was starting to remember. Upset patients weren’t that uncommon, but that one had stuck with me.
“Later, when we were in an exam room, I heard you on the phone with Coos Bay, arguing for a transfer. Never raised your voice, but man, did you make your point.” The appreciation in Adam’s voice made my whole body hum with warmth like a furnace kicking on. “Then, when we were getting ready to leave, everyone had to stand clear of the parking lot because a life flight helicopter was incoming.”
“We call them for certain types of cardiac events where time is of the essence.” I couldn’t reveal confidential information about the case, but I did remember the man coding out, right there in exam room three. I damn near broke my own record for CPR and defib rounds that day.
“Yup.” Adam nodded, respect clear in his eyes. “That old guy had had a massive heart attack, but because he was seen so quickly, he lived. He’s an ornery son of a gun, but he’s also a neighbor of Mom’s. So yeah, you puked on my feet on Monday night. I still think you’re a hell of a doctor.”
“Thank you. I truly was just doing my job that day. And he shouldn’t have talked to Natalie like that, but he was scared and in pain, and luckily, he came in when he did.”
“Like you said, you’re a doctor. A professional grownup, not some kid who needs me telling him to tie his shoes or to not jump off the quarry bridge when all his drunk buddies tell him to. And turns out you might be kinky? That, I find hot. Smart, sexy, and maybe up for getting freaky? Yeah, I’m interested.” His expression was a mixture of kind and feral, like he was biding his time before he ate me up.
And I kind of hoped he would.
“Freaky might be pushing it. I’ve poked around on those same apps. I’m not hardcore into pain or things like being tied up. And a lot of my interests are more…theoretical.”
“See, both of those things are appealing to me. It would be fun to introduce you to things you’ve only fantasized about. And I can work with tame.”
“Easily flustered bookish dudes do it for you?” I raised both eyebrows at him.
He took a leisurely bite of the casserole. “You blush easy, I’ll give you that. And that’s super sexy to me, you being all sweet and shy. A lot of guys seem to want a mean, scary Daddy. Lots of punishment, the kind of badass up for dealing with their sass and bratty behavior, and the sort who will put a serious hurt on them. Which is fine for them, but it’s not me.”
“You’re a nice Daddy.” I smiled at him because it was so true. He had the gentle, patient caretaker thing down. “I don’t need mean. Stern maybe. Demanding. But kind. I like feeling…safe. It’s hard to explain.”
“No, I’ve got you.” Using a gentle thumb, he tilted my face up when I would have studied my plate again. “You want to be taken care of. Someone to call you a good boy and give you filthy praise while spanking or fucking you hard, but you don’t want to feel used afterward.”
I swallowed hard because he might as well ask me to hand over my porn search history right there. He seemed to have a direct line to all my fantasies.
“Praise is good,” I mumbled in the understatement of the year. Just hearing him say good boy had me half-hard and aching.
“You’re allowed to want to be taken care of, Quinn. It’s not a character failing. And I’d enjoy taking care of you, giving you what you need in bed.”
“I…wow.”
“You can think about it.” He gestured at my plate. “Eat your dinner. It’s really good. Your mom would be proud.”
“Thank you.” Grateful for the chance to not speak, I took a few bites on automatic. The casserole had turned out nicely. Adam had been right to tease earlier because it was richer than I typically allowed myself. Multiple types of cheese mingling into a creamy sauce topped with buttery crumbs, but well worth the indulgence.
And maybe Adam was too.
“And you still get a brownie for dessert, even if you don’t want to take those theoretical kinks for a test drive with me.” His tone was light and laidback, so perfectly patient that it made my insides ache.
“Oh, I want.” I sighed because he absolutely was going to make the ideal Daddy for someone who was in the market for long-term. “I wasn’t kidding yesterday though. I really am done with relationships.”
“You think I’m going to object to you wanting to use me just for sex?”
“Well…no. But someone like you deserves more than a hookup.”
“You’re sweet. And to be clear, I would be down for something more than a one-time deal because, unlike you, I don’t think your time to explore has expired at all.”
“Maybe not. I do have some lost time to make up for.” I was starting to believe him that I wasn’t too old. And maybe I was over relationships, but the idea of having Adam be my Daddy was simply too tempting to keep resisting. I wanted this, had wanted it before my drunken self blurted out the idea, and had spent the last two days needlessly fighting against the idea. Like Adam said, we were consenting adults interested in a similar dynamic. “Perhaps you’re right. I deserve some fun.”
“You do.” Nodding, he grinned at me. “And we can have a good time together without making promises. Let me be your summer Daddy?”
