Vengeful Soul by Emma Creed
It’s a strange feeling knowing that I’m safe again. Part of me is relieved. I’m sure Brax and Jessie made sure the people my mom had been working on uncovering got the justice they deserved. And I hope she can rest now, knowing that her work hadn’t been pointless and that she made a difference.
Then there’s the niggle of disappointment that I can’t ignore. The thought of going home should excite me. Instead, I’m dreading it. I’ve spent the last two weeks sleeping beside Brax, he’s fucked me every night. Hell, some nights I’ve even fucked him. He still keeps a part of him closed, but we’re all guilty of that. That's the way it has to be when things are temporary.
My time here with the Souls has been an experience I’ll never forget. It’s taught me not to judge people on face value. It’s also taught me how sheltered I’ve been and that really, I know nothing about the world.
And as for me and Brax, well, we were just two people who gave in to sexual attraction, and now it's time to face up to reality.
We leave Ella at the club when Nyx comes back from the tattoo studio where he works. Brax is tense, the same way he always is when he comes back from working with Jessie.
Being here has turned me into a new person. A month ago, if someone would have told me I’d share a bed with a man who just killed someone, I’d have called them crazy. Yet I see the sense in what Brax does, it’s the fact he’s so guiltless about it that takes the most getting used to.
“When do I have to go back?” I break the silence first, Brax has just got out the shower and I try not to be distracted by how sexy he looks with a wet torso and just a towel wrapped around his hips.
“I can take you back whenever you want,” he shrugs, making his way into the bedroom. I follow after him, watching from the door as he steps into a pair of jeans then rubs the towel over his chest and abdomen. He’s got at least six different scars on various parts of his body, including the one he’d got from saving me. I step closer, running my finger over the bumpy wound. And I wonder how something so damaged can be so perfect.
“The night you took me, I didn’t think I’d be ever saying this to you, but thank you.” I keep my eyes on my fingers. not wanting to look up and see him staring at me, the way he does that always turns me soft, and right now I need to be strong.
“Welcome,” he says in a scratchy voice that hints I’ve lingered too long.
“I got to go see Prez, figure out what your story’s gonna be when we take you back. Then you'll be free to go.” I hear the bitterness in his tone.
“Tomorrow,” I blurt out before he can leave. “Can you take me back tomorrow? I want to say goodbye to everyone properly. Maddy and Ella have been really good friends to me while I’ve been here and Abby’s getting so much stronger, I don’t want her to think I didn’t care enough to say goodbye.”
“Tomorrow,” Brax agrees, taking a shirt off the bed and pulling it over his head. I want him to kiss me like he did this morning before he left. But he doesn’t and I can already feel it, the way he’s detaching himself from me. Accepting reality way sooner than I’m ready to.
I take a long soak in the bath, then spend the rest of the evening sitting on the deck out back watching the lake. I can’t help being disappointed when Brax doesn’t come home to spend the last evening I’m here with me. But I can’t let it bother me, not if I’m gonna get through all this. What Brax is doing hurts, but it’s best for both of us.
A loud bang wakes me, followed by curses and more bangs until the bedroom door flings open and Brax stumbles inside. He looks wasted, and is still carrying a bottle in his hand.
“There she is,” he says when he sees me in his bed. “Lying there like she doesn’t know shit.” I’m half expecting someone else to appear, but I soon figure out that he’s talking to himself when he kicks the door shut.
He tips up the bottle up, then realizing it’s empty, tosses it at the floor with a clatter. Clumsily, he crawls on to the bed, closer to me, his breath reeking of alcohol, and his eyes narrow and focus on mine.
“She’ll go back to her perfect fucking life, and her perfect fucking boyfriend.” He grabs hold of my chin with a fumbling hand, maneuvering my head from side to side like he’s checking me over.
“Brax, you're wasted,” I tell him, but he presses his finger over my lips and shakes his head as he sssh’s me.
“She pretends that when she leaves here, she’s not gonna think about me.” I don’t know why he’s talking about me like I’m not the one in front of him, but I’m finally getting an insight into his mind so I allow myself to listen.
“And I pretend that I’m gonna forget her.” His voice turns weak as he whispers to the imaginary person he’s speaking to. His eyes focused on mine, wild and red rimmed. “Does she know what she’s done to me?” His expression turns hateful. His fingers spreading out onto my cheek and his thumb pushing a hard trail over my bottom lip. Then he snarls a laugh, pushes my face away harshly, and rolls over, laying his head on his pillow.
“Brax,” I place my hand on his chest, and he reacts quickly, snatching it in his palm but instead of throwing it away like I expect him to, he holds it tight to him.
“I know,” I tell him. Hoping that he’s drunk enough to understand that I’m hurting too.
“And you still want me to take you home tomorrow?” he says, staring up at the ceiling, refusing to make eye contact.
“I have to go home tomorrow, I don’t belong here, Brax.”
“So where do you belong, Gracie?” He turns his head so he’s looking at me, his eyes holding the same blaze they had the night he’d taken me and thrown me into this world of his. Back then, I could never have imagined feeling like this about him.
“I don’t know, Brax, but I got to find out. I’m not like Ella or Maddy. I want to make my mark on the world. My mom changed people’s lives doing what she did. I’m not gonna get to do that staying here.”
“You’d change my life.” Brax speaks the words so sincerely that they put a lump in my throat and I feel my heart plummet.
I have to be strong. I’m caught up and confused because I have no options. Once I’m home and things are back to normal, everything will be clearer and I can curse myself for how pathetic I’ve been.
“Goodnight, Gracie.” Brax closes his eyes and keeps hold of my hand, and it isn’t long before his breaths soften, and he falls asleep.
“Goodnight, Brax,” I whisper, snuggling into his chest for the last time.
I wake up early, still in the same spot I went to sleep in. Brax’s other arm is wrapped around my body, holding me tight, and I somehow manage to struggle out of his hold without waking him. I make myself a coffee, and sit out on the decking to drink it. The lake always looks its prettiest early in the morning, I’m gonna miss it.
“Jessie says you're going home today.” Maddy’s voice comes from my left and I look over as she steps out of her back door.
“Yep,” I let out a long sigh, and look back out to the lake.
“You don’t sound very happy.” She hops up to sit on the wooden banister that separates us.
“I am.” I try to sound convincing, more for myself than for her. “I just…” I can’t describe it. I’ve only been away for a short time, yet it feels like I’m going back to a life I don’t know.
“You’re gonna miss Brax,” she says, willing me to be honest with her.
“Yeah,” I admit defeat, I have to speak to someone before I drive myself crazy. “Maddy, I can’t be with him, we would never work.”
“You could give it a try,” she shrugs, but I shake my head.
“I have someone.” I feel shitty admitting that out loud, even though Maddy already knows and doesn’t judge me for it.
“Do you love him?”
“I think maybe I could?” I sigh.
“I was talking about your someone,” she corrects me with a clever smirk that makes me feel even guiltier.
“I thought I did?” My words are as weak as my self control. How am I ever gonna make this up to Julian? I’m a horrible person.
“Maybe you should take some time to think, when you’re back home, being somewhere familiar might make things seem clearer,” Maddy suggests. “This club isn’t going anywhere, neither is Brax.”
“What are you two chatting about?” Jessie steps outside, wearing just his boxers and scratching the back of his head lazily, even with his shoulder length hair messy from sleep, he still looks handsome.
“Mornin’, darlin’.” He kisses Maddy on her forehead then tips his chin at me.
“Brax okay?” he asks,
“Probably sleeping it off.” I smile, taking a sip of my coffee.
“He was in bad shape last night. I just about managed to drag him out before he killed Squealer.”
“What?” I ask, stunned. Maddy looks curious too.
“Yeah, Squealer was being himself, you know what he gets like, Brax didn’t like whatever he said so went at him hard, a few bruises and a broken chair, nothing serious.” Jessie picks up a packet of cigarettes from the table and lights one up. “What time you headin’ home? If you need a ride—”
“I’m taking her.” We all turn our heads when Brax steps out from behind me, wearing just his jeans. Jessie tosses him a cigarette and he pulls a lighter from his back pocket to light it.
“You sure, I don’t want to be a bother?” The words that come out of my mouth don’t match the ones in my head. Why do good choices have to come with such a sacrifice?
“I’m taking you home, Gracie,” he says, putting an end to the conversation.
“We better get some breakfast.” Maddy quickly claps her hands and gives Jessie a look that has him following her back inside. Brax sits down next to me, leaning his elbows on his knees, staring out onto the lake as he blows the smoke out his mouth. I’d never found the whole bad boy thing attractive until him. It’s always been crisp white shirts and clean-shaven men that got my attention, but with Brax, everything is sexy, even the cuts and bruises I notice on his knuckles now.
“Heard you got in to fight.”
“It wasn’t a fight, Squealer said some shit, and I lost mine.”
“What did he say?”
“It don’t matter now,” he snaps, turning his head to me and snarling, “Nothing matters anymore. Be ready for eleven.” He stands up and storms back inside.
He’s nowhere to be seen when I eventually haul my ass up and go to get dressed, and I hope this isn’t how things are gonna end.
I can feel myself starting to miss him… and I haven’t even left yet.