Vengeful Soul by Emma Creed
I manage four days sleeping in the same bed as Julian without anything happening between us. He’s being understanding, but I can feel his frustration growing and I know that something is going to have to happen soon. I pretend to be asleep when he wakes up, and wait until I hear the front door shut and his car pull away before I chance opening my eyes.
The more time I spend away from Brax, the worse things seem to get. I’m at breaking point, I haven’t even left the house since I’ve been back. Maybe I’m hoping that he’ll come back for me.
Julian has kept me wrapped up in cotton wool, catering to my every need and ensuring I have everything I want. He even took a few days off work to be here for me. He’s insistent that the sooner I move on and sell up this place, the better I’ll feel. And maybe he’s right. Maybe I do need to start afresh.
I’m relieved he decided to go into work today because while he’s been staying here, he’s constantly tried motivating me. He thinks that clearing out Dad's wardrobe and selling his car is gonna make me feel better. And that packing up Mom's office and donating some of her books to the church library is going to cure me of my heartache. I want to scream at him that none of that is gonna bring them back, but at the same time I really hope that Julian's right. If I get away from here, I might start to get over them. And Brax.
But I don’t even know if getting over him is what I want.
I miss him.
I miss the way he looks at me like he can’t figure me out. I miss the way he fucks me in the morning, but most of all, I miss the way I feel when I’m with him.
I understand why Ella and Maddy have sacrificed so much to be with their men, because right now, I’d give up all I have just to see him one more time. I dream at night about him coming and taking me again, this time promising me that he’ll keep me.
I get out of bed and shower, determined not to spend another day moping around. I dress in my own clothes and style my hair the way I used to, and when I stare into the full-length mirror behind my bedroom door, Grace Scott has returned. I practice a fake smile through the reflection, before making my way downstairs and out of the house. Slipping into my car, I don’t have to adjust any mirrors or move the seat, and I drive into town taking the same route to work that I used to before he came into my life, turned it upside down, and shook it senseless.
I park my car outside my father’s office, and do one last check in the visor mirror. I’m still me, the Grace I was before Brax took me, but I feel wiser now, my eyes seem to have gained maturity. And the world around me has changed too. This doesn’t feel like my reality anymore, not now that I know monsters can lurk in plain sight. That they smile at you when you pass them on the street, they take care of you when you're sick, and govern towns. The world is a scary place when you lose your shelter from it, and at least with Brax, I felt protected.
I get ready to lock my car, and go inside. I never told Julian or his dad that I’d be returning to work today. They’ll be shocked to see me, and probably tell me it’s a bad idea. But it feels like the right thing to do. Anything beats staying at home and missing Brax.
I see one of the town officers coming out of the deli, and feel guilt tug at my conscience. Sure, Julian explained to the officer in charge what happened to me, but if my story was true, it would have meant I wasted a lot of police time.
The least I can do is apologize. The station is less than a half a mile away from here, and figuring the fresh air will do me some good and work isn’t expecting me anyway, I cross the street and walk along the pavement until I find myself standing outside Woodland Park station.
I hear a bike engine roar from behind me and automatically whip my head around in hope. It’s a sports bike, nothing like the type Brax and the guys at the club ride, and disappointment sinks from my chest into my stomach and rests heavy. I quickly distract myself from it by taking a breath and opening the door.
“Can I help?” The monotone voice of the receptionist distracts me from looking at the posters on the wall. I wonder what picture Julian used for my missing poster.
“Um, yes. I wanted to speak to the sheriff, or whoever's in charge.”
“Regarding?” she asks systematically, already grabbing a clipboard from under the desk and reaching for a pen.
“I’m Grace Scott,” I tell her, almost embarrassed to admit that now I’m here. “My boyfriend called a few days ago to explain that I was home safe, and I just wanted to come in and apologize for wasting your time with the search. I was wondering if I could make a donation or something.”
The woman behind the desk looks back at me puzzled.
“Frank,” she yells out, keeping her eyes fixed on me. And after a few moments, a podgy man in uniform steps out of the door behind her.
“Did we have a missing report come in for a… sorry, doll, what was your name again?”
“Grace Scott,” I repeat.
“A Grace Scott,” she calls over her shoulder, despite him being only a few feet away.
“We haven’t had a missing since Helda Redman lost her boy back in February, and you know where that little scoundrel was…” he chuckles to himself, “hiding up in old Ken Kelby’s shack in the woods. Boy sat tight up there for two days straight, had his mother out of her wits he did.”
“You must be mistaken. I was gone for almost a month. My boyfriend reported me. Julian Lenard, he called the officer in charge the other day to tell you I’d been found.”
“Not here he didn’t,” the officer shakes his head. “But I’m glad you’re home safe anyhow.”
“Thanks,” I whisper, confused as hell as I turn and head for the door.
“Hold ya horses,” the receptionist calls after me.
“Give me that name again. I’ll run ya through the system. Tell you where to send that donation.” She smiles.
“That would be great, thanks.” I wait a while as she types on the keyboard, her eyes scrunched together as she checks over the screen.
“Nope, sorry. Nothing. Not in this state anyway. Turns out you didn’t waste anyone’s time after all.”
“You searched the whole state, and nothing?” I check, a feeling of unease starting to weigh down my shoulders.
“Nothing,” she confirms, before I thank her again and back out of the reception, on to the street. There has to be some mistake. Julian would have been out of his mind the whole time I was gone. Girlfriends don’t just vanish while you go get takeout. And why would he lie to me? I march back to my car as fast as I can without running, and instead of going into work, I drive straight home. Heading straight into Mom’s office, I fire up her laptop and google search my name.
Nothing.
I do a search for lost people in the surrounding areas, and Billy Redman comes up for the first twenty results. I feel myself starting to panic, as I try to come up with reasons why Julian wouldn’t have reported me missing. None of them making any sense. So I dash upstairs and pull Maddy’s jeans out of the wash basket, searching through the pockets until I find the scrap piece of paper she’d pushed inside them when I said goodbye to her. Then I use my cell to dial the number she’d told me to call if I needed anything.
“Grace, hey?” she answers on the third ring, sounding excited to hear from me.
“Hey Maddy, how’s it going?” I get a surprising comfort out of hearing her voice.
“Great, me and Ella are just shopping for things to do out at Abby's cabin. She’s a bit low since Deputy Dan still hasn’t shown up. We’re gonna surprise her to try cheer her up, how are things with you?”
“Great,” I answer, but it’s a lie. Right now, I’m feeling anything but great.
“Mads, I was wondering, did you do anything when the club took me?”
“You’re gonna have to be more specific,” she says, and I picture her mischievous smile on the other end of the line.
“Like, hide police reports about me being missing?” There’s a long pause on the other end of the line and it almost gives me hope.
“I didn’t know anything about you being taken until Brax brought you to the club, and then I checked but there wasn’t anything for me to worry about. Not anything with a computer trail anyway… I just figured we got lucky. If you’re worried about Brax and the club getting into trouble, don’t be, just stick to the story. Are you really okay, Grace?” Maddy sounds worried now.
“I’m fine, honestly.” I try my best to sound convincing.
“Well, if you’re not, you know where we are,” she reminds me.
“Thanks, Maddy, I got to go, I’m really busy with work. It’s nice to talk though.”
“You too, take care of yourself.”
“Maddy…” I manage to catch her just before she hangs up. “How’s Brax?”
Do I wanna hear that he’s fine, or do I want him to be hurting like I am? Why did I even ask the damn question?
“Not good.” Her tone lowers, and I don’t know if it makes me feel better or worse.
“I got to go,” I respond with as much cheer as my voice can muster through tears, then without waiting for her goodbye, I hang up.
I spend my afternoon sobbing on my bed, missing Brax and wondering why the man who’s supposed to be in love with me, didn’t report me missing.
Then later, when I hear his car pull on the drive, I jump straight in the shower, hoping it will lessen the puffiness in my eyes. I throw on some yoga pants and a loose tee and make my way down the stairs. Hushed voices come from the kitchen and I follow them. As soon as I step in the room, they silence.
“George, it's good to see you.” My smile is fake when I notice Julian’s father standing on the other side of the kitchen island.
“Grace,” his arms spread open as he walks toward me and draws me in for a tight hug. “I’m so pleased you’re home, we were so worried.”
So worried neither one of you fuckers reported me missing.
“You staying for dinner?” I ask, draining every bit of energy I have to be polite.
“Can't I’m afraid, Lois has invited some of our friends over. I was just here to take some photos of the place. Julian said you were keen to put it on the market.” My eyes roll between them suspiciously. The conversation had sounded pretty heated before I interrupted.
“There’s no rush,” I shrug, pouring myself a glass of water from the fridge.
“Darling?” I look over at Julian. “I was wondering which station handled my disappearance, I was gonna send them a big box of doughnuts from Delilah's Bakery as a sorry. Police like donuts, right?” I fake a laugh for them both.
“I told you not to worry about that, sweetheart. I sorted it. They said these things happen all the time.” Both his hands reach for my hips and I let him pull me against him. “You have enough going on in that head of yours.”
“Okay,” I agree, watching the lies spew off his tongue. “You’re right. I’m gonna go get stuck into a book.” I smile at them both before I leave the room, but instead of heading into the library, I hang around and listen.
“He’s getting impatient, Julian,” I hear George whisper-yell at his son. “We don’t want to be on the wrong side of him, I don’t need to tell you what that could mean.”
“I’m close, Dad, I know I am, I just need more time.” I tiptoe away into the library, locking the door behind me. No wonder they were so keen on making me sell up, my parents are barely in the ground and they already have a buyer lined up. And now I’ve never felt so alone.
I sit in the chair where Mom used to do her work, wishing she was here with me now more than ever. She’d know what to do.
I think about running to Brax, but what use would that be? He made it clear that we couldn’t be together, and I understand why. As much as it hurts me, I get it.
A light knock on the door jolts me awake. I must have dozed off, and when the door handle rattles, I quickly get up to unlock it.
“Everything okay?” Julian asks, stepping inside.
“I must have fallen asleep.” I stretch my limbs and yawn.
“Sorry about Dad, he promised your father he’d take care of you if anything ever happened to him, he takes his responsibilities seriously. This place is too big for you, there’s a lot of capital in it too.”
“Just stop,” I interrupt him. “Please, can we just have a night without talking about house sales and clearing out rooms.”
“Sure.” He pushes me back until my back hits the bookshelf and forces his lips onto mine. It’s claustrophobic and desperate, and I want to spit the taste of him out my mouth. His hand moves to grope me through my top. Squeezing hard at my breasts, while his groin presses into mine.
“Julian,” I push my hands against his shoulder, attempting to get him off, but he kisses me harder, his tongue invading my mouth and almost making me gag.
“For god's sake, give me something, Grace. You’ve treated me like shit since you got home,” he whispers as his kisses move down my neck, and my stomach churns in revolt. I want to burst into tears.
“I can’t!” I shout, pushing him away, this time hard enough to put space between us. “I’ve been with someone else,” I blurt the words out, so desperate to have him away from me that I don’t care about the consequences.
Truth is, with or without Brax, I know it’s never gonna work with Julian. I can’t even stand him trying to hold my hand for Christ’s sake. When I open my eyes, he’s looking back at me with anger. And then it comes out of nowhere, the quick but painful swipe that the back of his hand serves against my cheek. He leaves, slamming the door behind him. And I hear the sound of car wheels screech off the drive, confirming that I’m alone. My cheek may sting like hell, but I feel a sense of relief in his absence. I don’t love Julian, the past month has proven that. And I make the decision to get as far away from here as I can.