Shadows of Discovery by Brenda K. Davies

Chapter Fifty-Three

Lexi wokethe next morning to discover Cole sleeping in the chair next to the window. Pushing herself up on the bed, she leaned against the headboard as she sat and studied him. She loved him so much it was a physical ache in her chest, and once he woke, she was going to tell him something that could destroy everything they’d built between them.

Her heart raced at the possibility, and everything in her screamed not to tell him. She could order Orin to leave and never come back. Cole would never have to know he was ever there.

But there would still be the refugees, and she couldn’t kick them out. Orin could fend for himself, but many of them had nowhere else to go, and there was no way she could be responsible for Jayden and Nessie’s deaths.

And she’d never be able to live with herself if she decided to keep this secret from Cole the rest of their days. Since her dad’s death, she’d learned she was capable of doing a lot more than she ever believed possible, but this secret would eat at her until it became a poison that either spilled free or destroyed their love.

She didn’t know how much time passed, but eventually, she had to rise to use the bathroom. When she returned, Cole was awake and sitting on the bed. He watched her from hooded, voracious eyes.

Lexi’s step faltered when she saw that look. She allowed him to silence her last night, but she couldn’t let him do it again.

“Cole, we have to talk,” she said.

“We can talk when you’re in bed.”

Lexi sat on the edge of the mattress but didn’t go any closer. He rolled toward her, slipped his arm around her waist, and pulled her back against him. She squirmed against his embrace, but his arm remained firm around her.

“Cole….”

She stopped speaking when his eyes traveled over his bite mark on her. A shiver ran down her spine. No matter how much she tried to withstand the magic of his touch, she couldn’t stop her body from reacting to his.

No! You’re using this as another excuse to keep putting it off. Tell him now!

Lexi wiggled around to face him and planted her hands against his chest. “Stop it,” she said. “This is important.”

The sexy smile curving his far-too-kissable mouth faded, and the sparkle in his eyes vanished. She’d finally broken through his playful demeanor, and now he looked like he was waiting for her to hit him.

Her heart raced, and unexpected tears burned her eyes as a lump formed in her throat. She couldn’t lose him.

“The time I’ve spent with you has been the best time in my life,” she said.

He abruptly released her and sat up to settle his back against the headboard. She could already feel him withdrawing from her, and he didn’t know what she was about to say.

* * *

Cole didn’t speakas he studied Lexi. The look in her eyes and the broken tone of her voice would have had him drawing her into his arms at any other point in time, but her words kept him away.

It sounded like she was saying goodbye.

“What is it?” he demanded.

His tone came out rougher than he expected, but if she was about to leave here and never look back, he wasn’t going to be nice about it. Had she decided she didn’t want to be a queen? Was the duty she would face in the position too overwhelming for her? Or had Becca managed to chase her away?

“You have to let me tell you everything before you react,” she said.

“I will.”

“I mean it, Cole. You have to let me finish speaking before you get mad at me.”

“I won’t be mad at you.”

No, if she had decided to leave him, he would be infuriated. If she walked away, he would let her go because he would have no other choice; he couldn’t imprison her here, even if a part of him considered doing exactly that.

However, he wouldn’t let her go without a fight.

“Yes, you will,” Lexi said.

“Tell me.”

Lexi gulped before blurting, “I know where Orin is.”

He’d been so certain she was about to tell him she was leaving and never coming back, that it took his brain a couple of seconds to figure out what she said. When it did, everything in him came screeching to a halt.

Her gaze darted around the room before settling on him again. She fiddled with the blanket as she edged away from him. What was going on here?

“Where?” he demanded.

“Promise me you’ll let me tell you everything before you react.”

“Where?”

“Promise me, Cole.”

“I promise.”

She frowned at him as she seemed to debate whether or not to continue. Finally, she took a deep breath and plunged in. Cole didn’t react as she spoke, but as her revelations continued, his fury mounted until it became a cacophony reverberating throughout his entire being.

In the corners of the room, the shadows swayed as they slithered forth before retreating again. Lexi’s hands stilled on the blanket when she noticed them, but she didn’t stop talking.

Cole’s blood thundered in his ears as the depth of her revelation sank in. His brother had been beneath her manor this entiretime; she’d kept this secret from him this wholetime.

His hands fisted, and his claws dug into his palms. The blood welling in his hands dripped onto the bedspread.

“Don’t,” she whispered, but when she reached for him, he pulled away from her.

Her hands hung in the air between them before falling to the bed. She stared at the blanket as she told him the rest. When she finished, the seconds ticked away as he tried to process everything she revealed.

“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” he demanded.

“The time was never right. When you and Brokk first came to the manor, I didn’t know if I could trust you not to turn me in to the Lord for hiding him. And after things changed between us, I didn’t want you to hate me. After you left with Brokk, I got him out of the tunnels. But then, when you didn’t come back and he did, I decided it was time to choose a side.”

“And you decided to choose the side against me.”

“That’s not why I decided to help Orin again. You haven’t seen those people and immortals living in those tunnels, and believe me, they do not have much of a life. They’re battered, hungry, scared, and being ruthlessly hunted by a monster. My father died fighting for the Lord, but I couldn’t turn those people and immortals away. I was handing them a death sentence if I did, and I could never live with that.

“And then you returned with news of your father’s death and the revelation you were going to face the trials. I couldn’t tell you about Orin then. You were already nervous about leaving me behind because of Malakai. It would have broken me if you died during the trials, and I would have always questioned if it was because you were distracted by me.”

“So, you continued to lie to me.”

She winced, and her head fell forward so that her hair shielded her beautiful features. He’d trusted her more than any other woman in his life, and she’d kept this massive secret from him. He’d always known women could be treacherous; he just hadn’t expected it from her.

Then she lifted her head, and her chin rose defiantly. “I did what I believed was best, and I won’t apologize for that. When you returned from the trials, I decided to tell you everything, but then there was your father’s memorial and your coronation to deal with first. I couldn’t dump Orin on you before all of that.

“However, I can’t keep it from you any longer. You have to know everything, and after what happened to your dad, I didn’t think you’d turn me in to the Lord, or maybe you will. I’m not sure of anything anymore, but this has been eating me up inside, and I can’t keep it from you anymore.”

“Eating you up inside? You’re a very good actress then.”

And that was what incensed him the most. He’d never suspected she was capable of keeping something this big from him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” she said. “I didn’t know how to do it, and I never saw a good time to do so.”

A niggling doubt wormed its way insidiously through his mind. She’d spent a lot of time with Orin while he’d been gone. Had something more developed between them? Would she tell him if it had?

“Are you fucking my brother?” he asked.

She recoiled as if he’d slapped her. The distress she radiated almost made him regret the question, but then he recalled that she was a great actress.

“No!” she cried. “He’s an asshole.”

Cole couldn’t argue with that. “Some women like that in a man, and he is a dark fae. We are known for our ability to seduce.”

“I deserve your anger and distrust, but I would never do that to you. I love you.”

Those three words managed to work through some of his fury, but was she telling him the truth, or was it some sort of manipulation?

He’d never doubted her before, never would have put her in the same category as Becca, but now he wasn’t sure what to believe.

Had she been using him for power? Did she intend to play him and Orin against each other?

The rational dark fae part of him understood why she’d kept this from him. He hadn’t told her everything about himself either. Still, the lycan part was furious, jealous, and determined to see her and Orin together so he could judge their relationship for himself.

The more emotional lycan was winning.

He took a couple of steadying breaths, and for a second, it helped to calm him. Then he pictured Orin beneath her manor and near her when he couldn’t be, and his blood pressure skyrocketed.

Swinging his legs out of bed, he rose and stalked over to his armoire. He tore the door from the hinges when he yanked it open. He almost smashed it against the wall, but he retained enough control to set it beside the armoire.

“Is Orin still there?” he demanded.

“I think so, but he comes and goes. He finds more refugees and brings them back before going back out to find food for them. Sometimes he’s gone for a few days.”

“Get dressed. We’re going to see him.”

“Cole….”

He didn’t look back at her as he pulled on a pair of pants and a tunic.

“Cole….”

Steeling himself for the wave of anger he knew was about to follow, he glanced at her over his shoulder. Cole gritted his teeth and tried not to picture Orin touching her and knowing her in the same intimate way he did.

“I am sorry I kept this from you, but I didn’t lie to you. I just didn’t tell you,” she said.

“Semantics.”

“Maybe, but I do believe I’m doing the right thing by helping those refugees. No matter what, I love you and would never betray you with anyone else.”

He wished he could believe her.