Shadows of Discovery by Brenda K. Davies

Chapter Fifty-Nine

Lexi leanedagainst the doorway as she watched Cole standing by the lake. He stood with his shoulders back, but she sensed a sadness to him that she yearned to ease. However, she didn’t think he wanted her anywhere near him.

He hadn’t spoken to her after they left the tunnels. Instead, he’d walked out the door and gone to stand by the lake.

Sahira came to stand beside her. “How could you not tell me about what was going on below?”

Lexi had known this was coming, but she still wasn’t ready to deal with it. “I was trying to protect you.”

“I’m the one who is supposed to be protecting you.”

“I’m not a child anymore. I don’t need protecting.”

“And neither do I. We’re in this together, Lexi. We’re all we have left of our family, and I can’t lose that.”

She braced herself to look at her aunt, who stared back at her with a desperation that tore at Lexi’s heart. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you or anyone else; I just… I… I couldn’t turn them away.”

“I understand, but you still should have told me.”

“How mad are you?”

“I’m not mad; I’m sad you didn’t think you could trust me.”

Those words were a knife to her heart. “I trust you, but I was trying to keep you safe.”

“I understand. From now on, no more secrets.”

“No more secrets,” Lexi promised.

Sahira squeezed Lexi’s hand before kissing her cheek. “I have to go pack.”

“Are you sure about this?” Lexi asked.

“Yes.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’ll be fine.”

When Sahira walked away, Lexi focused her attention on Cole again. It was a few minutes before Brokk came to stand beside her.

“Do you hate me too?” she asked.

“Not at all,” Brokk replied. “I consider you a friend, but I wouldn’t have trusted you with the secret of those tunnels either.”

Lexi tore her attention away from Cole to focus on Brokk as he leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You helped save my life, Lexi, and you saved Orin’s,” Brokk continued. “And as much as I hate him, I also love him.”

“I get that.”

“You did what you felt was right, and my brother has a way of bending others to his will.”

“I’m not completely naïve. I know he was trying to manipulate me when he brought the refugees here, but I decided to help because I wanted to.”

“I understand.” He shifted his attention to Cole and nodded his chin at him. “Are you going out there?”

“I don’t think he wants to talk to me.”

“He does.”

“He accused me of sleeping with Orin.”

“Ouch,” Brokk muttered.

“Yeah, ouch. I would never do that.”

“You have to remember that we’re from completely different worlds. To the dark fae, that would be a normal thing to have happen. We’re not faithful to anyone who’s not our spouse, and we expect everyone else to be the same way, even if it’s not true. Plus, the lycan aren’t exactly known for being logical, and when it comes to you, the lycan is the more dominant part of him.”

“I know,” she murmured. “I’d still like to punch him.”

“Then do it.” When she shot him a dubious look, he chuckled. “He’s not going to punch you back.”

“True.” And it was extremely tempting.

She focused on Cole again as she tried to decide what to do.

“Go,” Brokk urged.

Taking a deep breath, Lexi steeled herself for the possible rejection to come before descending the stairs. She crossed the open expanse of lawn and stopped beside him. Memories flitted across her mind as she stared at the serene, glassy surface.

“My dad and I spent a lot of time out here. We’d read by the water, feed the ducks, and over there”—she pointed to a rowboat now covered in vines—“is the boat we’d take out to fish. As you can see, I didn’t use it much after the war started. And once he died….”

She turned away from the boat that was once a favorite place to spend time with her dad.

“Things changed,” she finished.

“They always do,” Cole said, but he still didn’t look at her.

“If you decide to turn Orin in to protect the Gloaming, I’ll understand, but I’ll fight you on the refugees. I will do whatever I can to keep them safe.”

“Will you fight the Lord for them?”

She lifted her chin. “I will. When Orin turns me in—”

“He won’t do that.”

“What do you mean?”

“If I turned Orin over to the Lord, he wouldn’t turn you in too. He’s a bastard, but he doesn’t turn on his family.”

“He already turned against you and his father.”

“Not in the same way. He disagreed with my father and went against him, but he wouldn’t have tried to take over the Gloaming. I know it doesn’t make any sense, but there are lines Orin wouldn’t cross, and purposely taking down another member of his family by ratting them out to the Lord is one of those lines.”

“I’m not family.”

“He knows you’re important to me; that makes you family.”

“And you don’t think he’d turn us both in for knowing about where he’s been if you handed him over to the Lord?”

“No. He would understand I was doing what was necessary to save the dark fae in the Gloaming. He doesn’t have many standards, but he does have some.”

“I never had sex with Orin.”

“I know. I shouldn’t have accused you of that.”

Relief flooded her at his words, and she almost grasped his arm but stopped herself. Despite his words, a gulf remained between them.

“I would never do that. I’m not a dark fae; I’m not you. I know I shocked you with my revelation, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I’m with you because I want to be and because you’re special to me. I had sex with you for the same reason. If things ended between us tomorrow, I wouldn’t jump right into someone else’s bed, and I certainly wouldn’t screw one of your brothers.”

“I never should have said it. I’m sorry.”

He didn’t say those last two words often, and she knew they meant something, but she wasn’t done.

“I’ll never cheat on you, and I love you, but if you ever accuse me of that again, I’ll leave you.”

His jaw clenched, and silver flashed through the vibrant blue of his eyes. “It will never happen again.”

“Good.”

He smiled at her, but that gulf didn’t close as neither of them moved toward the other.

“My father and I would go fishing too,” he said as he turned back to the water. “There’s a lake behind the palace. It has water the color of the sky on a sunny day. It’s so clear you can almost see the bottom. We would watch the fish swimming beneath us, but we never caught them.”

“Why not?”

A sad smile curved his mouth. “I guess they were smarter than us.”

“But you kept trying?”

“Many times over the years.”

“It’s more about being in the boat, isn’t it?”

“It is.”

“What did Orin mean when he said you were playing along with the Lord while plotting behind his back?” she asked.

Cole finally looked at her again. The vivid blue of his eyes stole her breath and caused her heart to stutter. He was gorgeous, and though things were strained between them, he was hers. He’d claimed her as his mate, and she wasn’t going to let him go.

“I was never on the Lord’s side. Neither was your father,” he said.

Her eyebrows shot up at this unexpected revelation. “It seems we’ve both been keeping secrets.”

A breeze stirred the air and blew her hair forward. His eyes fell to the strands tickling her face, but he didn’t brush them away as he would have before.

“We have,” he said.

“Should I be as mad at you as you were with me?” And though she tried to keep that anger under control, it bubbled toward the surface. “You accused me of sleeping with your brother and believed I betrayed you.

“I kept Orin’s presence here a secret, but I didn’t do it out of spite or because I was plotting against you. I didn’t do it for the power you possess or a throne. I’m not Becca or the other women you’ve dealt with in your past.

“This is my life and my home. I miss my dad, but I’m happy here. I don’t want to be a queen, but I’d be one for you. Yet, you’re mad at me for keeping secrets when you were doing the same thing.”