Saving Little Jenna by Ruth Kennedy

Chapter 18: Jenna

I played house with a Barbie and a Nightcrawler figurine, my favorite comic book superhero. The Nightcrawler figurine was supposed to be Daddy since I didn't have a better replacement. I was over at Michael's place for a playdate.

I loved it when Daddy went out for a Daddies’ day out with Marcus and uncle John since it meant I would have a playdate with Michael and Kristen. Kristen was supposed to be taking care of us, and while we still didn't trust her, she hadn't done or said anything mean ever since the incident.

Michael was supposed to play house with me, but he'd taken a short break to go upstairs and show Kristen the realistic gorilla costume he'd used to scare her senseless. Apparently, it had badly traumatized her and now she needed to touch the costume to get over her fear. Michael felt responsible for the whole thing, so he was eager to help her get over it.

As I sat the toys down for an afternoon tea party before the dollhouse, I wondered if I should've told Daddy that it was my twenty-first birthday. On one hand, I wanted to celebrate my birthday for once instead of mourning it, but on the other, there was something scary about being the center of attention at a birthday party.

As I poured imaginary tea and served it at the table, a naughty thought popped into my head. I turned around to see that the front door was still closed, and then I raised my chin to see the nursery door still closed upstairs. Picking up Nightcrawler and Barbie, I moved their crotches closer and smashed them together back and forth to imitate sex.

Ever since Daddy and I made love, sex was all I could think about. But I supposed it was normal considering I had just lost my virginity. I only hoped that our sex life remained just as exciting down the line like Michael's apparently now was.

I picked up the pace by smashing their crotches together harder, just like Daddy had done to me. Watching the blue Nightcrawler figurine was doing something to me. Maybe I could ask Daddy to cosplay as the Nightcrawler in the bedroom one day. I ought to make a checklist of all the naughty things to try with Daddy.

Just when my arms were getting tired of all the action my toys were getting, I heard the front door open behind me. I instantly dropped the toys onto the floor and sat them back at the table, pretending to play.

"Daddy, you guys are back already?" I asked as I heard footsteps approaching. "I hope you didn't see anything too jarring. If you did, I can explain. It isn't what it looks like. You know how much I love the Nightcrawler, so can you really blame me?"

Just as I turned around, I felt a funny-smelling kerchief forced onto my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs and struggled against the hand that began dragging me away. Suddenly I felt weak and sleepy, but the face before me had sent me into a shock. It was that of Otis, his long white hair falling to the sides of his bald head and an evil smile plastered across his face.

My screams turned quieter by the second as he dragged me out the door. I saw Michael rush out of the nursery upstairs and stare at me in horror before running toward the stairs. Once I was outside, the front door slammed in my face and I began slipping into sleep. Otis had drugged me and now he was going to kill me. He'd done a half-ass job at drugging me, so there was still hope that I'd snap back to consciousness soon.

It became harder and harder to think, but my last few thoughts were that of Daddy. I regretted not having said my goodbyes to him, Michael, and uncle John. I needed to thank Daddy so much for bringing joy into my life.

As the car started, I found myself trapped between sleep and wakefulness, unable to slip into either state. Each time I'd slip into sleep, I'd remember Otis had kidnapped me and it would jolt me back awake. Thoughts raced in my mind but they were slurred, and I wasn't sure if I was thinking them or saying them out loud in slow motion.

At least I got to live my life a little before being dragged back to the cult, and I got to experience love for a change instead of outright hatred. I was luckier than my siblings in that aspect and I hoped I got to see them again one last time if I was to die.

How stupid it was of me to have planned my life so far ahead with Daddy. I should've known Otis would never stop looking for me. I heard stories of how evil he was all my life, but I had hope for a better future. In truth, I was doomed from the beginning when I was born into a cult.

Even in such uncertain and anxious circumstances, every inch of my body craved to see Daddy one last time. I needed to etch every inch of his face into my memory so I could never forget him. I didn't even have a photo of him to remember him by should Otis spare my life.

By the time the car came to a sudden halt, I was fully alert. Otis opened the door for me and pointed a gun at me, covering it up with a thick jacket.

I cooperated and got out of the car. There were people around and I considered screaming, but Otis was right behind me with the gun pointed at my back. I knew he wouldn't hesitate to shoot me if I tried something funny.

We were before a small motel and he was leading me to one of the rooms. Once inside, he slammed the door shut and pushed me onto the bed. Picking a rope off the floor, he tied me up to the bed.

"If you scream, I'll shoot you right in your pretty face." He pointed the gun at my face before placing it on the table.

"How did you find me, Otis?" I asked as he patted me down, missing the phone buried deep in the pocket of my onesie.

He let out a loud cackle. "You thought you could run away and escape your fate? Satan chose you to be my eleventh wife and he guided me right toward you. I had a dream where he gave away your location."

Otis had a habit of lying. Back in the cult, I'd heard so many contradicting stories about his background. One time he said Satan himself appeared before him and asked him to start a cult worshipping him. Another time it was his family's death in an accident that drove him to start it.

I always wondered if it was a deliberate attempt to show that he truly didn't care about his past or future. Several times he'd done evil and reckless things that could've turned members of the cult against him, but he'd brainwashed them so well that he got away with it each time. But now he was out in the real world, where one mistake was enough to bring an end to his madness.

"You're a maniac!" I shouted.

A tear rolled down my cheek. When he came close and shushed me, I spat on his face. It landed right between his eyes. At first, he was taken aback, but then he laughed and wiped it off with his sleeve.

Sitting down next to me on the bed, he roughly grabbed my face with a hand. "You've still got a little fight in you. I like that. You've always been one of the most defiant ones. Most of the ones born in the cult are loyal as dogs, but not you. You were never willing to follow the rules, and look where it got you."

"Why, Otis?" I tried to be strong but tears continued to form in my eyes. "You could've chosen a different wife when I ran away. Why couldn't you just let one member go?"

"Let you go?" He scoffed. "And make a fool out of myself? I let one go and then they'll all want to leave. No, they need to know no one can escape Satan's will. I need to make an example out of you, so everyone knows the consequences of running away. You see, it's not about being your husband anymore. It's about sending a message now."

"Go on then." I gulped and nodded. "Kill me. Go ahead and get it over with."

"Kill you?" He threw his head back and burst into laughter. "You think I've searched for you for weeks just to kill you? I made all the tech-savvy members find your location day and night."

There he went again contradicting himself about how he found me. Everything out of his mouth was a lie. Having experienced his contradictions firsthand, I now wondered if he even believed in Satan. It might as well be another lie, an excuse to have control over people. Some people like Otis had only one intention, to inflict pain and watch people suffer.

"Besides," he continued. "I killed one of my wives, Anna, for running away. I'm sure you've heard of it, but it was a big mistake. It was too easy and kind. People forgot about it with time, but what I needed instead was a constant reminder. Your suffering will serve that purpose. I'll starve you for a few days here before you're so weak, you won't struggle when I lock you up in the trunk and take you back to the cult. Then you'll be locked up in the basement for weeks until there's nothing but bones left on your body. Your father told me how much that always scared you. We'll get married in a grand public ceremony while you're chained up like an animal. It'll be a grand enough display of the consequences of running away. Once you're my wife, you'll be locked up for the rest of your life in a dark basement and you'll never see the light of day. The stories of your ongoing suffering alone should be enough to make sure no one tries to run away for the next few decades."

The memory of Daddy promising me I'd never have to spend another minute locked up in a dark basement came rushing back to me. I burst into tears realizing Daddy had failed to keep his promise. He'd promised me he'd keep me safe from everyone and everything, and yet here I was being dragged back to a life of suffering.

I sobbed as I told myself Daddy had lied to me. But could I really blame him? I knew very well that nothing or no one could stop Otis. Starting an oppressive cult and making everyone around him obey were no ordinary feat. Daddy was physically strong, but Otis was cunning and evil. Otis must've been watching us for days, deciding to act once Daddy wasn't around.

At least I had a glimpse of a happy and normal life because of Daddy. Every single day locked up in the basement, I knew I'd relish the happy memories we'd created together. Maybe if I was lucky, I'd get to hallucinate them vividly, so vividly I wouldn't be able to tell if they were real. As long as I'd get to see daddy's face and hear his comforting voice, it didn't matter if it was just a hallucination. It was one thing Otis couldn't take away from me, the happy memories I'd created with Daddy. They'd stay with me forever no matter how much Otis tried to break me. Daddy had loved me and taken care of me when one else in my life bothered or wanted to, and for that, I would forever be grateful. All I could do was hope Daddy knew how much he meant to me and that I had loved him with every inch of my being, as much as a woman could humanly love another man.