The First Rule by Nicole S. Goodin

28

Ryan

“Darce?”I breathe. I blink a couple of times, just to make sure I’m not seeing things.

“What are you doing here?” Jacob demands.

I want to punch him again, just purely for the use of that tone with her, but my woman already looks like she’s seen a ghost, so I won’t. Not for now at least.

“What the fuck is going on?” Her voice shakes.

She stops a few metres away, eyeing us both cautiously. I don’t know what she’s doing here or how much she’s heard, but it’s irrelevant. The only thing that matters is that she’s right here. In front of my eyes. She’s here and she’s okay.

I feel like I breathe easy for the first time in months, but it’s short-lived as I really look at her. She looks stressed and exhausted.

She rests her hands on her lower back, the discomfort clear on her face.

Her bump has grown so much in the past couple of months. She hasn’t got long to go now until the baby comes. Our baby.

I take a step towards her, but she holds up her hand in a motion that stops me.

“Just stay where you are. I want answers from both of you and I want them now.”

There’s no arguing with that tone, even if I wanted to – which I don’t. I’m tired of keeping things from her. No more secrets.

I freeze. Even Jacob doesn’t move.

I’ve got that prick’s nuts in a vice and he knows it, but I can’t help but feel like mine are right in there with his. Darcy looks anything but impressed with the pair of us.

“You have a child?” She narrows her eyes at Jacob.

He doesn’t answer, just lifts his chin arrogantly.

I smack him in the ribs, hard. “Answer her.”

He grunts in pain but nods his head.

“How old?”

“Three,” Jacob replies, unsure.

“Nearly three,” I correct him.

I see the tears well in her eyes. Not only did he have a child that she knew nothing about, but he conceived that child during their relationship. He’s a fucking tool of the worst kind. I can’t even imagine how much this information would hurt her.

I’m about to lay into him again when I see the change in Darcy. She blinks the tears away and straightens her spine.

“You had a vasectomy after that?” she asks, all the emotion gone from her voice.

“I did.”

She nods, silent for a few beats before looking him dead in the eye. “Fuck you, Jacob.”

Fuck, she’s the strongest woman I’ve ever met. I want to give her a round of applause.

The coward doesn’t even reply. He doesn’t apologise. He doesn’t do anything. He just stands there.

He basically kidnapped her – he’s been holding her hostage for weeks and weeks, and I can tell he feels not one ounce of remorse for it. It might not be going to pay off for him in the long run, but he’d do it all over again, given the same situation – he’d do anything to get himself ahead.

“I’m leaving, and if I ever see you again, I’m going to the media – with everything, do you understand me?” she threatens him.

“It wasn’t personal, Darcy, for fuck’s sake,” he snaps.

“Really?” she yells, her voice going from zero to one hundred in a flash. “It wasn’t personal? Felt pretty fucking personal when I cried over not being able to get pregnant. It feels pretty personal that I gave you everything and you still went out cheating on me. And it sure as hell felt personal when you’ve held me and my unborn child against my will.”

Fuck, I want to pull her into my arms and hold her so tight that all that hurt and anger just melts away, but that’s not what she wants from me in this moment, and I won’t take anything from her, I’m not my brother.

“Get out,” she snaps at him.

“This is my fucking boardroom,” he says in disbelief.

She glares at him. “I can stay right here and keep yelling if you prefer? Maybe I’ll open the door. I know how much the PAs love a good bit of gossip.”

He wants to stay and argue – I can tell he’s dying to try and manipulate her into doing what he wants, but he’s also not stupid, he knows he’s beat.

He mutters a string of profanities under his breath before grabbing his laptop and storming from the room.

I don’t know how he’s going to explain his dishevelled appearance to his colleagues, but it’d be entertaining to hear him try. He’s got a ripped shirt and a bleeding lip – not a great look for such a ‘powerful’ and ‘in control’ man.

I watch the door shut behind him and turn slowly back to face Darcy.

She looks terrible, like she hasn’t slept in weeks, but she’s still stunning. I’ve never felt such relief just from laying eyes on a person.

“You okay, princess?”

“No.” She shakes her head. “I’m so far from okay.”

I take a timid step in her direction. “I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t believe this. You have a nephew?”

I nod, a smile crossing my lips. Trent is the only good thing to come out of this mess. “We have a nephew. He’s amazing, Darce, you’re going to love him. Our little peanut has a cousin.”

Her expression softens and a smile lifts the corner of her mouth. I know part of her longs for a big family with kids running around together.

I take another step toward her.

“Stop,” she whispers. “I have questions. I need to know what the hell just happened, without you close. I can’t think straight when you’re close.”

As satisfying as that comment might be, I still feel fear. She’s clearly overheard mine and Jacob’s entire conversation, which means she knows I’ve kept something from her. She’s a smart woman, it won’t take much for her to figure it out. I want her to know, but I’m shit scared of the consequences.

“You were there the night I met Jacob? The dress up night… you were there?” She frowns.

I nod. “I was.”

“I need to know what you two were talking about. How did Jacob take me from you, Ryan?”

Fuck, this isn’t how I wanted to do this. I wanted to tell her under different circumstances. She looks so tired, so stressed, and I’m sure this is only going to add to it, but I’ve got no choice now. All I can do is be honest with her and hope she understands.

“It wasn’t Jacob you met at the bar. It was me.”

Her hand flies up to cover her mouth, her beautiful big eyes widening as the words hang in the air between us.

“How? What?” she whispers.

“We thought it would be funny to dress up together. One of us was meant to be Clark Kent and the other one Superman. But Jacob didn’t listen, and we both turned up as Superman. Identical twins… identical costumes… I’m sure you can put the pieces together.”

“Oh my god.”

“We talked for what felt like hours, do you remember that?”

“Of course I remember,” she breathes. “I spent years chasing the connection I felt with Jacob on that first night.”

My heart is beating so fast she can probably hear it. “You never found it?”

“Not until the night of the wedding when you came to the hotel room. It was you I needed. That’s why there was always something missing with him.”

I’m elated and terrified in the same moment. These are words I’ve longed to hear, but I’m scared shitless about how she’s going to handle this dropped bomb.

“Do you remember I went to the bathroom right after we nearly kissed… and when I came back, you were gone. I spent weeks trying to find out who you were. Then I turned up to family dinner that Sunday, and boom. There you were. With him.”

“I asked him about that first night, you know. He didn’t remember anything much. Said he was too drunk. I filled in the blanks for him. How stupid am I?”

I shake my head. “He remembered. He knew what he was doing when he took you from me. And you’re not stupid. How could you have known?”

Her eyes fill with tears again. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Her tone is pained, the betrayal she feels is right there, front and centre. It hits me square in the chest, like she’s swung a sledgehammer at me.

“I wanted to, Darce, but what was I meant to do? You were so happy. He was happy. I didn’t want to be the one that ruined that. I just wanted to see you smile, and that night at dinner… the way you looked at him… all you did was smile.”

She goes to reply, but I’m not done.

“So I pulled away. I made changes in my life – I chased my passions. I became my own man, and I convinced myself that this way, when I met someone who made me feel the way you did, I’d never be mistaken for Jacob again.”

“Ryan,” she whispers, my words hurting her. “It would have been different if I’d known.”

“But it doesn’t matter. None of it matters anymore. Not where I go, what I do, or who I meet… I can never find what I’m looking for because there’s only one you, Darcy. I just want you.”

“Imagine how different your life might be if you’d just told me five years ago that it was you!”

“That’s the thing, princess, that’s the only thing I’m thankful for in this whole mess. That man was never me. This is me, the real me. I’m living a life I love and that’s because of you. I love my life now – all that’s missing from it is you.”

“You didn’t like your life before?”

I shake my head. “I feel like my life only truly started when I met you. Meeting you made me the man I am today.”

This is all too much for her, I can see how overwhelmed she is; her head is practically spinning.

“I want to hold you so bad.”

I want her in my arms more than words can describe, but I won’t make a move unless she tells me it’s okay.

She covers her face with her hands and groans. “This is why Rebel hates me, isn’t it? Because I was too dumb to see something so obvious. She can’t stand me because I hurt you all these years.”

All the pieces are clicking together for her.

“She doesn’t hate you.”

“She hates me.”

“I really don’t think this is the most pressing matter right now.”

Her eyes flash up to meet mine. “No, you’re right. That would probably be the fact that the man I was meant to marry is a cheating bastard with a secret child, or the fact that the man I’m completely head over heels in love with has kept a secret from me for years on end.”

I swallow deeply, my throat thick.

“I’m so sorry, Darcy. I know I should have told you.”

“Ofcourse you should have told me. If not five years ago, then at the very least, on the night of my wedding.”

“You were already going through so much… you couldn’t handle any more.” I know it’s not entirely true. Sure, it was part of it, but I know how strong this woman is. She could have handled it. I was being selfish.

“That’s not for you to decide,” she replies, her voice rising an octave. She takes a step backwards, and I can physically feel the change in distance.

“Darcy.” It’s a plea. Don’t do this.

“I don’t know what to say to you right now. There’s so many lies. I need some time. I need some space.”

I suck in a breath, my lungs failing to get enough oxygen.

She can’t leave.

I don’t want her to leave.

But as I watch her turn and slowly walk from the room, I know I need to respect her wishes, no matter how much it kills me. It’s lucky for me that Rebel dropped me off, I can barely see straight, let alone drive safely. But unluckily for her, she’s about to get called to come and pick up the pieces, yet again.