Dear Mr. Brody by A.M. Johnson

Parker

My boyfriend, I smiled at the word, stood in his bathroom doorway wearing nothing but the towel around his waist. His hair was wild and damp, sticking out every which way, a shy smile splitting his face. He watched me with his quiet eyes as I slipped out of my towel and tossed it into the hamper he had by his closet. The fine hairs on the back of my neck and shoulders prickled from the cold, but my chest was warm, heavy with the way he stared at me, like I might disappear at any moment, like he couldn’t believe I was here.

“I…I have those sweats you borrowed, um… second drawer on the left.” He pointed to his dresser, his eyes falling to my dick. We’d just messed around in the shower, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t game for more. When it came to Van, all I ever wanted was more. More kisses. More touches. Him. Every inch. “You know, the overpriced sweats.”

He chuckled, and I grinned as I sat on the edge of his bed. “Or… And I think I like this idea better. We could forgo the clothes. I mean, it’s my first sleepover. I think it’s a rule we’re supposed to be naked the whole night.”

“Is that so?” he asked, loosening the knot on his towel, and letting it fall to the floor. He walked toward me, his confident stride something I’d yet to witness and Christ, did it work for me. My cock hardened, and his chest hitched as he stopped in front of me. He ran his fingers through my hair. “I’m not familiar with that rule.”

“It’s a thing,” I said and peered up at him. Miles of silky skin and lean muscle on display. I reached up and flattened my palm on his stomach. “Or at least, it needs to be.”

“I think I could get on board with that.”

“Mmm,” I hummed, lowering my palm, and gripping his shaft.

He was thick and hot in my hand. A ragged breath caught in his throat as I leaned in and licked the head. Van’s eyes never left mine as I took him into my mouth. I worked him to the back of my throat, groaning when he thrust his hips. I cupped his balls, and his fingers twisted in my hair. I pulled back, stroking him as I buried my nose in his groin, licking a line down to his sack, wanting to taste him, wanting to give him everything.

“Lie down,” I said, my voice husky and more demanding than I’d meant.

But he didn’t hesitate.

Van sat on the bed and situated himself onto his back, his head on his pillows. I crawled over his body, leaving soft kisses on his hip, his abs, his chest, his neck, his cheek, the corner of his mouth. It was the first time we’d ever been like this. Every time we’d had a chance to be with each other, besides the two times we’d showered, it had been fast and messy and half-dressed. Hands and mouths, never skin on skin like this, laid out with the weight of my body over his.

“This okay?” I asked, resting my hands on either side of his head.

“Yes.” He raised his head and we kissed for what felt like hours.

Wet and deep, his stubble burning my chin and jaw, our cocks leaking against our stomachs, and every time I moved my hips, we’d shudder, a silent plea for more. I didn’t want to rush him, didn’t want to make him feel like I needed anything other than this, him beneath me, kissing me like I was his entire world. I wanted him to pace this, ask me, and when he finally did, it was like the first sip of water after a long run under the midday sun.

“Parker,” he panted against my lips. Lifting his hips, he grunted as I rocked against him, our cocks rutting together. “Please.”

I straddled his thighs, taking us both in hand, and he let out a desperate moan. Van pierced me with his gaze as I jacked us both, his bottom lip pinned between his teeth. I pushed us to the edge and stopped when we were both close to falling.

“Do you trust me?” I asked and his pupils eclipsed his irises.

“Yeah… I do.” He sat up on his elbows as I moved.

I spread his legs a little, keeping my eyes on his, making sure I wasn’t taking too much or pushing him for more than he was willing to give. He showed no signs of reluctance as I pressed his knees back almost to his chest.

“I’m not going to do anything you don’t want. If you don’t like something, tell me and I’ll stop. Alright?”

He nodded, his cheeks and chest flushing with color. “What are you going to do?”

“Taste you.” He was fully exposed, and I ran the pad of my thumb over his tight hole.  “Here.”

He shivered as he closed his eyes.

When he didn’t say no, I leaned down and licked the length of his dick, sucking the head into my mouth. I teased his ass some more with my thumb, rubbing slow circles over the sensitive skin. My saliva trickled down his shaft, and I groaned when he reached for his thighs and pulled his legs back even farther.

“Fuck… look at you,” I said and sat up, wanting to see his face. He stared back at me through hooded eyes, chest rising and falling with weighted breaths. “Van…”

I let his name hang in the air between us as I leaned over and kissed his stomach, his hip, his inner thigh. I took my first taste and he fucking whimpered. The sound was ringing in my ears, it made me lightheaded, and I wanted to hear it again and again. I worked him open with my tongue until he was writhing, a fist in my hair, and one tangled in the blanket. He kept saying my name, and I wondered if he realized it. Like a chant over and over. Parker, Parker, Parker. I wanted nothing more than to bury my fingers inside him, fuck him until my name was more than a whisper, and scratched at his throat when he cried out in relief. I let the tip of my thumb slip inside him, and he stopped breathing.

“Parker, I—” I sat back, and he lowered his legs, framing my hips. “I don’t have any condoms.”

“That’s okay… we don’t have to—”

“I’ve only been with one person, and I… if you want me to get tested, I—”

“Van…” I massaged the muscles of his thighs and he exhaled. “I don’t think you need to be tested if you’ve only been with Lanie. Unless you think she cheated on you before the yoga guy.”

“No… it was only that one time, but we were over after that.” He lifted himself up onto his elbows. His hair still wild. It made me smile. “What about you? Have you been tested?”

“Yes… right after we started dating, actually. I get tested every three months or so if I’m… active.” I squeezed his thigh when he lowered his eyes. “Hey… what are you thinking?”

“That I ruined the moment. I have no idea what I’m doing, and you’re experienced, and I feel out of my depth. What you just did, it felt…” He fell back onto the pillow and covered his eyes with his arm. “It felt fucking amazing, and all I could think was, God, I want this, I want more, but then—”

“I had to go and slip my thumb up your ass?”

He started to laugh, his entire body shaking with it.

“Yeah,” he said, lowering his arm, he caught his breath. Van sat up, resting his hands on my hips and dusted his thumbs over my skin as he spoke. “I want to… with you, and I know you like being the top, and I think I could, but I—”

“Do I prefer the top? Sure. But what I prefer the most is for you to be comfortable in what we do. You didn’t ruin the moment, I’m always hot for you.” I grinned as I held his face between my palms. “I want to kiss you, though. But if you’d rather me not because I—”

“Kiss me.”

And I did.

I kissed him until his breathing evened out, until his lips were swollen when I pulled away.

“When you say prefer…”

I chuckled as I lowered my hands to his neck. “I like getting fucked too. I’m versatile like that.”

Hell, his cheeks turned fire engine red. “Oh…”

“In fact, if you wanted, you could have all of this…” I waved my hand along the length of my chest to my dick. “Right now, if you asked me nicely.”

His fingers pressed into my hips as a crooked smile lifted his lips. “Tonight?”

“Yup, all you have to do is ask, Van.”

He brushed his mouth over mine, his tongue licking the seam of my lips, and I opened for him. Blood rushed to my groin again, filling me, bringing me right back to the flash point. The thought of giving myself to him, without any barriers, no condoms, I’d never done that before, it made my heart gallop.

“I want you,” he whispered into the curve of my neck, kissing his way to my shoulder and back to the spot below my ear. “I just… I don’t know how to—”

“I do.”

I stole another kiss before I crawled off the bed. I’d left my jeans hanging over his desk chair. I dug into my back pocket, feeling his eyes on my skin as I pulled out my wallet. I opened it and smiled as I found the small packet of lube I’d stashed behind my insurance card last Pride. I’d gotten it at one of the booths, it was supposed to taste like donuts or something equally ridiculous. I didn’t care. It only needed to serve one purpose. I made my way back to the bed, packet in hand, and laughed at the wide-eyed look on Van’s face.

“What’s that?” he asked as he rested his back against the headboard.

I straddled him again and grinned when his hands immediately went for my hips, his thumbs making those familiar passes over my flesh.

“Lube.”

He swallowed.

“I see.”

I kissed his cheek and then tore open the packet with my teeth. “Don’t look so worried.”

“You remember the whole I’ve never been with a guy thing, right?”

“I think I can recall you mentioning something about that,” I said and placed another soft kiss on his lips.

Squirting the lube into my hand, I reached between us. Slick and easy, I glided my palm up and down his shaft, coating every inch of him until he was breathing hard against my lips. His hands fell to the cheeks of my ass, spreading them as he pulled me closer. His finger grazed my crack, and I moaned into his mouth.

Breaking our kiss, he found my eyes, and said, “I want to know what it feels like to be inside you.”

“I want to feel you too.”

I reached back, slipping a finger inside myself, and held onto his shoulder with my other hand for balance. My head tipped forward, my mouth opening on a silent gasp as I prepped myself for him. His curious fingers followed mine, and when I looked up again, I pulled out, letting him fuck me with his finger. I dropped my mouth to his, hungry for the taste of his tongue as he unknowingly brushed against my prostate.

“Ahh… fuck,” I panted. “Right there, Van.”

He pressed against it again, and now I was the one whimpering. One finger became two, then three. My entire body thrummed with need as he stretched me. I had to grab his wrist, stopping him before I came too soon.

“I think I’m ready,” I said and dragged my teeth across his lower lip.

He moved his hands back to his favorite spot on my hips, his eyes hazy with lust. I kept my hold on his shoulder as I positioned myself over him. Van dropped one of his hands and wrapped it around the base of his cock. His jaw pulsed as I lowered my body, his gaze fixed between us as he guided himself inside me. I breathed through the initial sting, until he broke past the first ring of muscle. He grit his teeth, his gray eyes dark and hungry as our bodies melded together. Fully seated inside me, he reached up, caressing my jaw with his thumb, the pressure of it almost bruising as he claimed my mouth with a forceful kiss. I tried to move my hips, needing to feel him, but he held me in place with a firm grip.

“Wait.” He rested his forehead on mine. “Or I’ll come.”

I breathed, a laugh itching at my lips. “I’m that good?”

“Too fucking good.”

“I’ve never done this before,” I admitted. “Without a condom.”

He met my gaze. “No?” I shook my head, loving the smile forming on his lips. “A first for both of us, then.”

I started to move, and his nails dug into the flesh of my ass. I hoped I’d still be able to feel the sharp bite of it in the morning.

“Slow,” he whispered, and I held his shoulders as his mouth met mine.

I pushed all my desire into this kiss, trying to pace my body, focus on his tongue and how it danced with mine, how each breath he took became one of mine. How his skin was silk under my fingertips, how the heat of his body, like his breath, was my heat too. Van snapped his hips, driving into me again and again, and I grunted as I held on with everything I had. He lifted me, pushing me down onto my back. The whole “taking it slow concept” no longer applied, apparently. I was okay with that. Van teased my hole with the head of his dick, painting it, marking it with his pre-come before sinking back into me. He grabbed my thighs, pushing in at the perfect angle, and I arched my back. My toes tingled as he pounded into me, every loud groan I elicited egged him on. Van leaned down, a single drop of sweat dripped down his cheek to his lips, the salty taste of him bursting over my tongue as he kissed me. I bucked my hips, getting closer, my dick pinned to my stomach as he rocked into me. His mouth was savage, showing me a side of him I didn’t think existed. He bit my neck, and my shoulder as I told him I needed more, told him how close I was, how I wanted him to fill me up.

“Fuck,” he groaned, pulling out, only to fill me up again.

A needy moan poured past my lips, and I tried to reach for my dick.

He leaned back, granting me access, and fucked into me harder and faster as he watched me jack myself off. I came first, crying out, my neck straining as my head fell onto the mattress. My orgasm seemed to never end. It splashed hot against my skin, my legs shaking as Van’s eyes locked on mine. I raised my head, wanting to watch him while he fucked me. He said my name, Parker, Parker, Parker, his head lulling backward as he groaned. His hips jerked, uncoordinated as he flooded my body with the heat of his release.

“Van. Look at me.”

He raised his eyes, emptying inside me, taking up a space that only belonged to him. His face marked with pink, his wild hair, his stormy eyes, his tight jaw, his swollen lips, his strong hands, all of it, I wanted to keep it inside of me too. Out of breath, he tried to slide over to the mattress.

“Not yet.” I raised my hand and he leaned down. With my palm on the back of his neck, I pulled him to my chest. His cock half soft inside me, I kissed him. It was sloppy and sated, and we both laughed when I licked his nose. “I think I could get used to bottoming.”

Our slick skin stuck together as he pressed against me, mess and all. After a couple of seconds, his smile faded into something more serious and bewildered. “Sex has never been… I mean, it’s been…” He sighed, exasperated. “It’s never felt like this.”

“Like what?” I asked and hid my wince as he pulled out.

Van rested on his side, and I turned to face him. He touched my cheek, and I pushed the sweaty strands of hair off his forehead. “This was different.”

“Because I’m a guy?”

“That,” he said and smiled. “And it was… I can’t think of how to explain it.”

“Because I’m the best. You’re never fucking a woman again. Parker is the god of all things dick?” I bit back a smile when he blushed and scrubbed a palm over his face. “Is any of that fitting the bill?”

His shoulders shook as he chuckled. “You’re so humble.”

“I try.”

“This is the most vulnerable I’ve ever been,” he said, and the urge I had to tease him vanished. “Even with Lanie, when we first started dating, it didn’t feel like this. Maybe it was because we were just kids, and the gravity of it all wasn’t there. And over time, things changed… faded. But every time I’m with you I feel like I’m chasing this feeling, and it’s big, Parker. And tonight… I finally caught up to it. I’ve never felt this good. Ever.”

I wanted to make another joke. Tell him he was dick drunk. Make it seem like what happened wasn’t that big of a deal. But it would be a lie. Because I’d never felt this good either.

When I didn’t immediately respond, Van fell onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “Did I say too much? I said too much. I do that and—”

I scooted closer, resting my cheek on his chest. My hand splayed over his abs, my load drying on our skin. “You didn’t say too much. I’m processing.”

“That doesn’t sound good.”

I gently slapped his stomach and he laughed. “Let me think. My brain is all fuzzy. I just came harder than I ever have in my life.”

“Really?”

I pinched him this time and he swore. “Yes, really.” It was quiet and I would have bet money if I sat up, I might’ve seen Van’s first-ever smug smile. I took a deep breath and tried to assemble everything I wanted to say. “That big feeling…” His fingers trailed over my skin and along my spine. Back and forth. Lulling me into a place of contentment, a place of safety I’d never had before. “I have it too. In so many ways.”

“How do you mean?”

“I’ve never really had a serious boyfriend before. A serious anything. You’ve given me that. All of it. Today, when I met with Anders, you know what he said?”

“What did he say?”

The tips of his fingers continued to move, mapping every line, every sharp edge as I spoke. It made it easier to be honest. “He told me I was too green. That my prose was all over the place, and that at times I could be over the top.”

“Shit. Parker, I—”

“No… listen. He told me I had a lot of growing to do, but underneath all the chaos… I was a shining light.” A shining light. My throat felt thick. “He told me I had more talent in one sentence than some authors have in an entire novel, but I had to learn how to craft a story. He told me…” I inhaled the scent of Van’s skin, loving how it mixed with the smell of our sex. “He told me… You believe in me… and that it was rare for you to put yourself on the line like you have for me. He told me that he trusts you. And that he wants to help me meet my potential.”

“He said that?”

I raised up onto my elbow and stared down at him. I cataloged the curve of his lip, the dip of his nose. “He did. And it terrifies me. I want to be everything you think I am, Van. I want to be worthy of your trust. And it might sound stupid, because it’s just sex, but it felt like you trusted me. It was more than a promise of words.”

“You are worthy.” He cupped my cheek, and I leaned into the touch.

“Am I? Everything since I’ve met you feels unreal.”

“You are…  When I told Anne about you, she said she’s never seen me this happy. She’s a kid, but she sees it, sees us.”

“Anne is pretty smart,” I said, smiling like an idiot.

“The smartest.” He touched and traced my lips. “You don’t have to be everything, Parker. You’re already amazing. You’re enough, as you are.”

“As I am.”

“Yeah.” He sat up, holding his weight with his palm as he kissed me.

It was tender and rough and overwhelming. Everything between us spun, all the pieces we’d handed to each other. It was immense and surreal, but underneath all the chaos there was a shining light. Me and him. And I was enough. I was enough.