Forsaken by E. M. Moore
25
Iglare at him, yanking away. The doorbell rings, and I flash him a look. “Just exploring our apartment together, honey.”
His gaze dances toward the front of the house. “They won’t believe you, you know. Not even your high-class friend can help you.”
“What happened to you?” I ask honestly, scrutinizing his glare. “The man who rejected me wasn’t this cruel. He felt bad. He kept me at the academy because he didn’t want to see me Feral. This Sean is only worried about himself.”
The doorbell rings again, saving Sean from answering. He strides toward the front door, already dressed for the day in one of those many collared shirts and khakis. We both know who’s going to be on the other side of the door, so he puts on a smile when he opens it.
I stand back as Kinsey enters, gazing between the two of us, our dress bags grasped tightly in her hand. “Where can we set up shop...away from you?” she adds with a twisted smile.
“You can have the bedroom. Mia was just making herself acquainted with it, weren’t you, dear?”
I roll my eyes. I don’t get the luxury of his response because Kinsey marches forward, widening her eyes as she takes me in. “I’ll show you the way,” I tell her tightly.
Entering Sean’s bedroom, I shut the door behind us, and Kinsey drops the dresses. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
I give her a quick shake of my head. “No, unfortunately, he’s too smart for that.” She raises her brows, and I groan. “You know what I mean.”
Taking out her cell, she gives me an apologetic look. “Jonah wouldn’t let me come here unless I kept in contact.” She hits an icon on her screen, and it turns her phone into a security camera. She types into a message box that sits aside a live feed of us. Here. We’re fine.
His response is immediate. Good. Stay safe.
“I’m surprised you’re here,” I tell her. And for a few different reasons: One, I’m shocked Sean let her. Two, I’m also astonished that Jonah would be okay with her being near someone like this maniac.
“We figured Sean wouldn’t try anything because he would be implicated if something happened to you so soon after the near misses. Your alpha’s guards are still outside. Plus, with this added security measure, we’re in business.”
She scoops the dresses from the floor and lays them on the bed. Then she takes off the messenger bag around her shoulder. Patting it briefly, she opens the flap to reveal a bunch of makeup.
“We’re really going to the ball?” I ask her. “With everything that’s going on?”
“Of course we are,” she smirks, a devilish gleam in her eye. She moves in closer, lowering her voice so only the two of us can hear in case there are any ears listening. “But you’re only going for a short time. Jonah spoke to Twilight Security last night. They confirmed there is a rumored Feral Pack outside their lands that’s not within any other territory. This is just hearsay,” she cautions, “but it’s a way out. You and Nathan leave tonight when everyone is distracted by the ball.”
I suck in a breath. Feral. The thing I’ve dreaded the entire time I was at Greystone. Can I really do that? Even with the rumored pack that was able to survive? It’s not like they would be anything akin to what we’re used to. They won’t have the same pack dynamics. This would be upending my whole world. “You want me to go Feral?”
“No,” she grinds out. “Listen, Jonah and I are helping you. We can make it so you’re safe. If you stay here, you’re going Feral in a few days, whether Sean rejects you or not. That’s if you make it that long when all these accidents keep happening.”
I shake my head. “I just can’t believe that this place actually exists. Kinsey, you saw the same footage I did. Feral means certain death.”
“But what if it doesn’t?” Kinsey asks, eyes gleaming. She looks like a schoolgirl with big dreams. The idea is intriguing. Our packs practically disowned us when we needed them the most. The months after shifting for the first time are the hardest, and yet, some of us are sent away from the only world we’ve ever known—all with a broken piece of ourselves.
“You think it might be true?”
“Just imagine,” Kinsey says. “A group of banished wolves would have one thing in common, a bond that might make them stick it out together—a hatred for the system that cast them out.”
“But they wouldn’t have any of the dynamics that we have. A pack togetherness. A system to make us safe. Mate bonds and all the abilities that come with them.”
Kinsey takes my shoulders. “Sometimes other bonds are bigger than pack or fate. Look at you and Nathan,” she whispers. “You’re not supposed to be. He shouldn’t get all possessive, yet he does. Just like a fated mate would, Mia. When need arrives, sometimes we all just have to find a way.”
It sounds like false hope.
I don’t know if I ever imagined this would be the way I escaped my situation. I always guessed Sean would come to his senses one day. But then Nathan happened. And then the stupid deadline on my life. With every reason to live clicking into place, steel forms a tight band around my shoulders and up my spine. Kinsey is right. Why should that stop me from trying to make the best of what I have?
Nathan is mine. We’re not giving each other up. I’d rather go Feral with him—even if that meant death—than stay here. This idea of a place that accepts Feral wolves could be a kindling for hope if I just let myself believe.
“You’ll have to tell me everything,” I say to her.
She grins as she makes me sit on the bed. Keeping up with our charade about getting ready for the ball, she does my makeup while she explains that she and Jonah have hidden a car with supplies. With any luck, Nathan and I will be able to get out of Daybreak territory before we’re missed. Obviously, we don’t want to get punished like Robbie did. Who knows what sort of heinous discipline they deemed necessary before throwing him out?
Nerves take over my stomach. “What if we can’t find the pack? Or if they actually don’t exist, Kinsey?”
She stops applying my foundation and stares at me. “I won’t let you die out there, Mia. There’s a phone in the supplies. You pick it up, find a place with service, and call me.”
I already know I won’t do that to her. I love that she’d face certain death for harboring a Feral wolf, but I would never put her and Jonah in a position where their life together could be compromised.
I move her hand out of the way and stand, holding her. I never would’ve guessed that I would find such a good friend at the academy. Even someone who, relatively speaking, was there for a short amount of time.
“It’s not fair,” Kinsey says. “Nothing about the rejected mate business is fair, and there are so many things that don’t add up. It’s like the pack councils have made up this façade around us so we adhere to their rules.” She clears her throat. “I’m not sure I believe in the system that much anymore.”
“But you have Jonah....” I pull away, really looking at her. I’ve been stuck in my own head, so it’s possible I’ve missed something going on with her.
“I love Jonah,” she says, eyes glossing over. “But that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the things they tell us, Mia. Not all of it is true. You know for yourself. If what they told us about fated mates was true, why would you even be interested in Nathan? What if our whole world is false? Set upon lies to keep us conformed.”
I never pegged my friend as a conspiracy theorist, but I see it in her eyes. Being at the academy must have affected her more than I thought. I imagined that after she left, she would’ve fallen into perfect unity with Jonah and never dwelled on what happened to her.
She takes my shoulders and moves me back to the bed. “You probably think I’m crazy.”
I shake my head slowly. “No, I just.... It seems like a very difficult thing to do. To lie to all of us, I mean.”
“Shifters from different packs rarely come together,” Kinsey explains. “The only ones who regularly do are at Greystone.”
She’s got a point there. The solstices are few and far between, and only the higher-ups usually travel from pack-to-pack. The shifters lower in the pack never usually leave their territory unless they haven’t found their mate yet.
“Forget I said anything,” Kinsey smiles. She picks up a billowy makeup brush and dips it in powder before spreading it over my face. “It’s just...if you’re worried about you and Nathan, I wouldn’t be. You guys will be fine.” She stares at me for a long time, as if she’s trying to relay something to me.
I nod. “I don’t know why fate didn’t pair us to begin with.”
“She must have been drunk the day you shifted because she really didn’t get you four right at all.”
I laugh. The idea of Fate, loopy from partaking in party beverages, randomly making decisions that last a lifetime cracks me up—and says so much about Kinsey’s personality. “Not at all. I wonder how Nathan is doing with Gayle?” I grit my teeth. To occupy myself, I pick up an eyeliner and twist it in my fingers. “Sean told me he was with her, but recently she’s changed her mind and wants Nathan back.” The eyeliner in my hands snaps in two.
Kinsey sets down the powder brush and reaches for the two halves. “Don’t go breaking more of this makeup. I barely have any to begin with. If you’re worried about Nathan, which I suspect you are because I would be feeling the same way, don’t be. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He doesn’t feel anything for Gayle anymore.”
“But they’re fated,” I muse aloud, voicing my fears. What if that’s all it takes? Just for her to give in, and Nathan will be right there again, by her side in an instant. He’s told me so many times that all it would take is one word from her. Sure, this was all before we happened, but I can’t get it out of my head.
“Mates are only a good thing when they’re with the right person,” Kinsey states. It feels like she’s holding back on me. Like she keeps skirting around a point that she doesn’t want to express fully. Or she’s too scared to. “Here, I’m shit at eye makeup.”
“Weren’t you the one who came to Greystone not liking any of this?”
She laughs. “That’s because I never had any. I swear when I got back to Lunar, I spent an hour at the cosmetics counter looking over everything. I don’t wear it when I’m out in the greenhouse or anything, but it’s nice to have. Especially during occasions like this.”
In another time, I would be ecstatic to go to a solstice party, but since tonight is my big escape, I’m dreading it. A hundred different scenarios flick through my mind of things that could go wrong. If any of them do, I’ll end up punished and cast out. And not with Nathan, I’m sure. Hell, it might even be worse for the two of us. Robbie was already caught running away. With two more deciding to jump ship—and during the Winter Solstice with shifters from other packs visiting—they could make an example out of us.
Kinsey plugs in a curling iron as I do my eye makeup. After about forty-five minutes, the both of us are ready for our big night at our first solstice ball.
She zips my dress, and the first thing I think is what a shame it will be if I have to shift on the fly. Goodbye beautiful dress. On the other hand, it’s not like I’ll need a fancy dress while running away from Daybreak. Or ever again, actually.
“When we get there, stay close by. Either Jonah or I will tell Nathan the plan. Do you have the directions I gave you?”
I can still feel the prick of paper in my shoe where she made me hide it. It gives the exact location of the car—GPS coordinates along with a hand-drawn map, just in case.
“If you get separated, leave anyway.”
“Leave without Nathan? You’re crazy.”
“I know,” Kinsey says. “Jonah made me say it.”
I laugh. It’s such a Jonah thing to make me promise. Come to think of it, I’m sure Nathan will say the same thing, but I’m not going anywhere without him.
Real fear slices through me. I thought I was nervous about escaping—about what I’ll find or won’t find close to Twilight territory—but the real fear that settles over my shoulders now is if I’ll have to do it without Nathan. Or if, somehow, I’ll lose him in the process.
Like I said, a hundred different things can go wrong. I squeeze my eyes closed. “Fuck.”
“Deep breaths,” Kinsey reminds me. “You have to go out there and act like nothing is wrong. We don’t want Sean getting suspicious.”
“When are Nathan and I leaving?” At this point, I’m thinking the sooner, the better. Or that could just be the restlessness in me talking.
“We’ll give you a signal. We’re going to create a diversion that will take at least Sean and Gayle’s attention off you both. I’m glad you told me she was having second thoughts about the rejection because that could complicate things.” She frets over her lip.
“Don’t tell me that.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she scolds. “That’s a problem for Jonah and me. You do what we discussed, okay?”
I nod, my throat thick with trapped emotion, and take a deep, steadying breath. As soon as I see Nathan, I’ll feel better about this.
