Forsaken by E. M. Moore
7
“Ugh, I can’t believe you guys get to leave,” Nadia complains, then snaps her mouth shut a second later. An immediate blush colors her cheeks. “Sorry, I know that sounds petty coming from me.”
I give her a small smile. After she gushed about my hair, I told her why I had decided on a change. “Trust me, I think we all want to leave here as soon as we arrive.”
I push some eggs around my plate. People are staring, and I assume it’s because of the hair, but a little part of me believes they all know I’m thirteen days away from going Feral.
Thirteen-motherfucking-days. Fuck me.
Nadia bites her lip—a sure sign that she wants to ask a question but doesn’t know how to pose it. “Spit it out,” I tell her. Love the girl, but she’s too sweet for her own good.
“Well, I was just wondering if you think you can do it? Get Sean, I mean.” She shakes her head. “It’s stupid that he rejected you in the first place, so I think you can. As soon as he spends time with you, he’s going to come to his senses. I know it.”
I wish I lived in her world where it’s all sunshine, rainbows, and positive outlook. Literally the worst thing that’s happened to her is being sent here. Admittedly, that is a pretty shitty thing, so I’m not knocking her on it. If I could carry her positivity around with me wherever I go, I’d be set for life. “Fingers crossed,” I tell her. It’s an odd thing to aspire to. Aside from the Nathan stuff, my heart keeps holding on to the betrayal and the abandonment. I have to find a way to let all of that go before I walk back onto Daybreak soil or this trip is doomed. “Any news on your front?”
“I think we’re getting somewhere,” she says, cheeks blushing again.
I try to read between the lines, but the problem with talking to a positive person is that I’m never entirely sure whether she’s just looking at the world through rose-colored glasses or if what she’s saying is actually happening. “I hope so,” I tell her, reaching out to pat her hand. “You deserve it, girl.”
If she had to stay here the same length of time I had, she’d be a freaking mess right now. Greystone Academy isn’t for people like her. She’s too damn good.
Nadia smiles at me and then peers over my head. She chuckles. “Nathan doesn’t know it’s you.”
As if on cue, he sidles up to the table, his bored face on full display. He never gives me that look. It’s reserved for other people and conversations he doesn’t give a fuck about. When he sees me, he does a double take. “Jesus, Mia.”
My mind short circuits. It’s the same damn thing he said to me when he was still between my legs, my juices still glistening on his full lips.
Oh for fuck’s sake. I need to get my head out of the gutter.
I cross my legs, trying to stop the furnace from starting before it gets blazing down there. “You like?”
As I wait for him to answer, I dissect the way I asked him that question. Did I say it in a friend way? Or in the girl-who-has-a-crush-on-a-guy kind of way?
This is going to be awful. Here I am, thirteen fucking days away from going Feral, and I’m obsessing over something that could send me there quicker. Especially in Rejected Mate Academy.
My skin blazes from my thoughts, and I peer up at Nathan for his reaction. “You look like the old you.”
“You’ve had your hair like this before?” Nadia asks.
“Not exactly like this,” I say.
“She used to do it to piss her mom off.” Nathan chuckles as he finds his seat and turns his attention to me. “Have you sent a picture to her yet?”
I shake my head. “I thought I’d leave it as a surprise.”
“I hope I’m there for that one.”
Nadia pouts again, and I try to steer the conversation away from the fact that we’ll be leaving her here for a couple of weeks.
I’m dying to tell Nathan what the hairdresser told me. We’ve talked about the subject of how to live Feral at length. Not at first, but as the months went by, it became a real possibility that deserved attention. We assumed that we would both be going at the same time. Now that my ass is on the line first, I’m starting to freak out a little.
I saw Kinsey’s face after she watched the Feral video for the first time, and believe me, those images are fresh in my mind, too. Being in a pack has been drilled into our brains since we were pups. There’s no chance of survival otherwise. That’s why we have the pack system. That’s why there are mate laws. Shifters breed other shifters to make sure we have a nice, healthy pack.
Nathan hits his shoulder against mine. “Hey, you okay?” He doesn’t share my all-consuming fear of going Feral. Nathan is a firm believer that he could last on his own for a little while, even though conventional wisdom suggests otherwise.
I glance up from the volcano of mashed potatoes that I’ve been building. Nadia is staring at me with a frown, too, so I must’ve been out of it for a little while. “Good,” I tell him.
He starts his gaze at the crown of my head. My purple and black hair shifts in front of my face as I move. Suddenly, I’m all too aware of the makeup I have on. It’s a little heavier than normal. It’s not as if I dress to impress here at Greystone. I usually only put it on when Sean is coming in for a session. Theoretically, he’s the only one I should want to impress.
My mind snags on the thought that’s been bothering me: Why was oral so amazing with Nathan when he’s not my fated one? If Sean and Gayle are going behind our backs, this could be one of the reasons why. They had feelings for each other before fate decided to pair them with someone else. I’m not immune to their original position in all of this, but I am calling bullshit since nature is telling them to do something else. It’s undeniable. I’ve felt those feelings with Sean. They’re there. He can’t refuse to feel them.
That’s why uncertainty over what I did with Nathan is digging into me tightly. It felt good—amazing, actually—but it shouldn’t have.
I peer outside to stop myself from staring at Nathan. The surrounding glass walls and ceilings let in the natural light, reminding me of a fancier version of Kinsey’s greenhouse. This is one of my favorite places in the whole gothic building. Especially when they serve chocolate pudding.
Heels click against the tile, echoing around the huge cafeteria. The hairs on the back of my neck rise when the clicking stops next to me. They used to stop here for Kinsey, so I’m not surprised when I spot Ms. Ebon at the edge of our table. “Miss Adams, Mr. Greene, I’m here to inform you that a car will be waiting for you two tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m. sharp to return you to Daybreak Pack for the Winter Solstice. You’ll return here in ten days.”
Her presence usually silences the room, and today is no different. I clear my throat, realizing we’re the center of attention. If the whole academy didn’t know already that Daybreak was leaving, they do now. “Thank you, Ms. Ebon. We’ll be ready.”
Whispers rise up as soon as she moves on to the next table where more students are sitting with purple and yellow. A few people close by groan, wondering how come they’re not allowed to return home. I feel like telling them all to shut the hell up. I’m the only one with a fuse tied to me, counting down the days.
After that, I’m not particularly hungry. I go through the motions of someone who’s about to miss ten days of classes and stop by my professor’s offices to see how I can keep on top of things. Each of them is surprised to see me. No doubt, they know about the timeline. Some of them tell me not to bother, even though I insist. Nathan is right. It’s time to fight, and I’m going to do just that.
With a folder filled with work, I find myself in the library. I smell Nathan before he sits across from me. He’s always smelled a little like an impending rainstorm to me. Lately, he’s been feeling that way, too.
“Why are you bothering?” he asks when he sees what I’m doing.
It’s always been that way with us. We don’t need pleasantries. We gave that up a while ago.
“When Sean realizes he’s a dumbass, you won’t be coming back here.”
“And if he doesn’t?”
“You still won’t be coming back here.”
My stomach knots. I know he’s right, but it’s just the fact that he’s saying it that pulls at my heartstrings and twists my insides into something almost unrecognizable.
“He’s going to accept you,” Nathan says forcefully. His tone is so sincere—and alpha—that it makes me sit up in my chair a bit. He moves his neck back and forth, his bones snapping and cracking. “I’m sure you’ve already gathered this but forget about what happened. Focus on the one thing that can save you, okay?”
When I gaze up at him, it’s as if there’s a chasm between us. For so long, he’s been my life preserver. I don’t know if it’s because he’s trying to put a wedge between us or if I’ve already put one there, but I get what he’s saying. “I want this for you, too,” I tell him sincerely. I want nothing more than to be back at Daybreak with Nathan. It won’t be easy, but I’ll forget how he felt between my legs when he’s right down the street rather than Feral somewhere. If either one of us goes that route, we’ll never know what happened to the other.
“I know you do,” he says.
“So, you’re going to try?”
“Like hell.”
“If you need me—”
“I know that, Mia. I’ve always known that.” He rubs his temples. “I think we should double-team them. If we’re up their asses, they won’t have the chance to see each other. Plus, if we find them together, their asses are going down.”
My wolf, who’s been just underneath the surface of my skin since Ms. Ebon told us we were going home tomorrow morning, perks her head up. A chill runs through her and passes to me, sprouting goosebumps over my arms.
He glances away. “I don’t like the idea either, but we have to do what we have to do.”
I swallow. “How’s your wolf feel about that?”
His lips thin. “He’s fine.”
Which means he probably isn’t. The glee my wolf feels about returning to Daybreak alarms me. What if I get there and lose my head? Forget about what Sean did to me? I know that’s kind of what I’m aiming for, but if he breaks my heart again, I’ll run away myself. No mandate needed.
“Do you think they know we’re coming?”
“I haven’t texted Gayle. I thought a surprise would be better suited. That way they can’t run and hide.”
Nathan has always been certain that Sean and Gayle are together when they shouldn’t be. He’s the one who opened my eyes to the reality of the situation. Maybe it’s because I never wanted to see it, but after I brought it up to Sean, he stopped coming as often and would only show during mandatory sessions. That pretty much affirmed my suspicions right there.
Nathan leans against the table, his button-up shirt straining. “We can do this, Mia. No matter what.” He reaches out, his fingers sliding over mine on the table. An electric shock passes between us, and my wolf immediately begins to pant.
I tear my hand back, staring at my buzzing fingers. Every time Nathan and I are together, it seems like more questions arise.
Nathan gets up from his seat like he didn’t just feel that. He passes by me, placing his hand on my shoulder. “See you in the morning.” He lingers there for a little while, but another shock doesn’t happen.
When I can’t smell him anymore, I press my forehead to the wooden table in front of me. The papers scattered about the oak are just my ridiculous attempt at trying to compartmentalize.
Nathan is right. I won’t need any of this work after tomorrow morning. Best-case scenario, I’m back at Daybreak. Worst case? The last thing on my mind will be worrying about whether or not I’m caught up in my classes.
I glance up, tearing off the piece of paper that sticks to my forehead. I gather the whole stack together, march to the nearest trash can, and drop them inside. Turning, my gaze snags on a leather-bound book. Emblazoned in gold, the words Mate Law jump out at me. This library is filled to the brim with non-fiction. The extensive collection contains everything that has to do with what we study here: civics, etiquette, and the whole gamut of mate-related paraphernalia you could ever want to read about.
I drag my fingers along the spines. There’s everything from centuries-old books to new ones like Shifter Mates for Dummies. I roll my eyes at that one, but the next one over makes me pause. It’s a red leather book with The Truth About Mates embossed in silver.
I tip the top off the shelf as I scan the front cover before deciding to pick it up. Flipping to the table of contents, I don’t even really know what I’m looking for except the fact that I’ve been mated for over a year now and I don’t know anything about having one.
The first section is about finding your mate, but the next may as well be written in bold lettering for as much as it’s been on my mind lately. “Mate Feelings: Real or False?”
I gaze up at the librarian as I hook the book under my arm, returning to the table to settle in with what I should already know about fated pairs.
This will either be eye-opening or boring as shit.
