Healed by Evan Grace

Chapter Three

 

Heidi

 

I clean up my station after my last client left. It was a cover-up job. She got her husband’s name tattooed on her wrist, and he thanked her by fucking their nanny. She kicked his ass out, and I covered his name with the flower, Edelweiss, which means courage.

She thought it was fitting because she had the courage to leave her marriage that was unhealthy.

My mind wanders to Colton. I’ve agreed to hear him out. This coming Sunday, which is five days from now, he and I will be face-to-face for the last time. Maybe then I’ll finally be able to move on; that’s all I want.

I jump when Greta hops onto the client chair. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” We’re the last ones here tonight, which sucks, but Greta and I said we’d stay. Mona has Iris and Max at home, and Sierra’s preggers.

I shake my head. “That’s okay. My mind was wondering. Do we have anyone else coming in tonight?”

“Nope, I think we’re safe to shut it down.” Greta hops off the chair and checks that everything is shut off. I grab the deposit to drop off at the bank on the way back to our apartment.

Once we have our bags, we head out to my blue Jeep Wrangler. This was our brother Miles’ first car, and he took really good care of it. When I got it, it slowly became banged up. I’ll be the first to admit I’m a terrible driver, and since I’ve owned the jeep it’s gotten covered in lots of scratches and dings.

“What happens when you see Colton this weekend?” Greta asks out of the blue. Until now she’s given me my space when it’s come to him.

“Nothing happens. I listen to what he has to say, and then we’re over … for good.” I won’t admit to her that the thought makes me sad. I love him, always have and always will. I know that makes me seem pathetic, but I don’t care—I feel what I feel.

Greta drops it, and we make our way home.

 

***

 

My tennis shoes slap against the pavement as I run along the bike path. Lady Gaga blasts through my earbuds; it’s the perfect distraction from my thoughts.

As I push myself harder and harder, I drive out thoughts of Colton, our baby, and what could’ve been. I also can’t help but think about our upcoming talk. Why did he disappear? Did I cross his mind, at all? No… I don’t care about that.

By the time I make it back to my apartment, my legs feel like jelly, and I have a stitch in my side. Before I go up, I do some stretches and then wait for the nausea to pass.

After a quick shower, I make myself a sandwich and can only choke about half of it down. I’m closing the studio tonight, and I don’t have to be in until three. I decide to do something I rarely do and take a nap.

I end up only sleeping for thirty minutes, but apparently that was all I needed. I crawl out of bed and get ready for my shift. I brush out my hair and throw it into a high ponytail. I pull on my favorite Sugar and Spice, Ink black t-shirt, red leggings, and my newer pair of black Nikes.

I make myself an iced coffee, pour it into my travel mug, grab my bag, and head to work. The studio parking lot is full when I arrive, which makes me smile.

I smile at Lainey as I enter the lobby. She is our apprentice, who is manning the front desk today. She’s been an amazing addition, and she’s already begun tattooing her own clients. Of course, for now it’s only small pieces, but she’s damn good.

I take my stuff back to the office and then get ready for my first client.

By the end of the day my back is sore. I worked on the outline of a huge back piece, which means I was bent over for a long time. Once I lock up, I head home. I step inside and lock the door. In the kitchen I grab the bottle of Moscato and pour myself a healthy amount in a wine glass.

In my bedroom I place the wine on my nightstand and change into my sleep shirt, which is Colton’s old Jamison High football team t-shirt. I only kept it because it’s so soft to sleep in. Of course, most of the print has come off the shirt, but I still love it.

I get settled into my bed, leaning against a stack of pillows and grabbing my e-reader. I’m reading a college romance about a single mom and a jock who meet and fall in love. By the time I finish my glass of wine, I’m reading the epilogue and smiling widely.

Even though I had my heart broken, I do believe in love. Mona found it with Joaquin, and once Sierra admits she loves Nick, they’ll probably live happily ever after.

Speaking of my sister Sierra… We had an incident not long after I saw Colton for the first time.

Sierra walks into the office. “What are you doing?”

I look up at her and smile, and I try to hide the sadness I feel. “I’m uploading pictures onto all of our social media accounts.” I look her over. “How are you feeling? I’ve noticed you haven’t been as sick.”

“I’m feeling better. We found lots of tricks to keep me from getting nauseous.”  She sits across from me. “What’s up with Colton?”

My body stiffens, and I keep my eyes on the laptop. “Nothing’s up.”

“That didn’t seem like nothing.”

“We dated. We broke up—the end.” I continue to type on the keyboard.

She leans forward. “Honey, we all thought you guys were going to be together forever.”

I look up at her, irritation quickly coursing through me. “So did I.” She opens her mouth to respond, but I stop her. “I don’t need or want the advice of someone who got knocked-up by her fuck buddy.” Her body jerks like it’s been hit.

I grab my bag and storm out of the office. I climb into my Jeep, and as I pull out of the parking lot, I look in my rearview mirror and see Sierra running out of the studio.

My phone pings when I’m a block away, and I know right away it’s my sister.

Sierra: I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pried. You both just looked so sad. I love you, Heidi Ho.

Poor Sierra was just concerned about me, but she didn’t deserve to be treated that way by me.

Luckily, she forgave me, and all was forgotten, but that is the way it has always been for us Collins girls. We fight, fight, fight, but always make up quickly.

After shutting my e-reader off, I carry my empty wineglass into the kitchen and then head into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I step back into my room while I’m rubbing my moisturizer into my face.

As soon as I’m lying down my mind does what it usually has a tendency to do now that he’s back, and I begin to think about Colton—especially the night he ended things.

Something’s going on with Colton. For the past week he’s been quiet, standoffish, and easily angered. I mean, he’s never hurt me, but he’s constantly on edge. Butterflies take flight in my belly as I wait on the porch for him to pick me up to talk.

It feels like he’s getting ready to break up with me. What I don’t know is why. We’ve been making plans for our future—a future he swore he wanted with me. When his truck pulls up, he doesn’t get out like he usually does.

I make my way toward him and feel like my feet are filled with lead. I take a deep breath and climb in. “Hey,” I say quietly,

He doesn’t respond; instead, he throws his truck into drive, and we take off. We drive around in uncomfortable silence. Colton finally pulls into the parking lot of Woodland Park, which is near our high school.

I wait and wait for whatever is about to happen. The desire to throw up hits me hard, but I ignore it and steady my breathing. I can’t take the impending doom anymore and whisper harshly. “Just say it already.”

“I want to break up with you.” His voice is flat, no emotion at all. “This is over.”

Deep down I knew this was coming, but hearing those words come out of his mouth hurt. “Why?” My eyes burn, but I won’t cry, or at least not in front of him. “Answer me, Colton. I deserve to know.”

Colton turns to look at me. “I just don’t love you anymore.”

My heart breaks into a million pieces. How could he say that after everything we’ve been through? I’ve loved him so long; how could he destroy us so callously?

I hop out of his truck, ignoring him calling my name and take off running.  I make it home and slam through the back door, ignoring my family and flying up the stairs to my room. Once I’m safely inside, I finally let the tears fall.

“Heidi? Heidi, wake up?”

I open my eyes to see Greta sitting next to me. I must’ve fallen asleep. I push myself up. “What’s up?” I ask.

“You were crying in your sleep.” Concern is etched on my sister’s beautiful face.

That’s when I realize my cheeks are wet. “Sorry. I’m okay. I promise.” I give her what I hope is a reassuring smile.

“Okay, goodnight.” She leans in and kisses my cheek.

I lie back down, afraid to fall back asleep, but too tired to fight it.