Healed by Evan Grace

Chapter Seven

 

Heidi

 

I place my hands on Sierra’s belly, smiling up at her when the baby kicks her mom’s belly. I’m so happy for her and Nick, but then I’m hit with a wave of sadness, thinking about what could’ve been.

She reaches out and strokes my cheek. “Are you okay, sweetheart? You seem sad.”

I’m the youngest out of five. Sierra and Mona were always mother hens to me and Greta. Miles was always the protector of all of us girls. It makes me feel so shitty that I was crappy toward her about Colton.

“Heidi?”

I look up at her, open my mouth, and tell her everything. From Colton and my breakup, to the miscarriage, up to sleeping with him last week, and finally the mean shit I said in the office.

I’m crying hard, but it feels good to let it all out. Nick comes home while I’m having my moment. He kisses my sister on the lips and bends down, kissing the top of my head.

Thanks to my two big sisters, I have two more big brothers to love. He disappears further into their apartment, leaving us alone.

I take a deep breath and pull back, wiping the tears from my eyes. “Sorry about that.”

Sierra’s eyes go soft. “Don’t apologize. Why didn’t you tell anyone that you were pregnant?”

I shrug. “I’d barely found out myself before I lost it. I didn’t think it mattered anymore.”

“Honey, you may not have been far along, but that was still your baby. Does Colton know?” I shake my head. “I can’t believe he had cancer,” she whispers.

“I love him, but I hurt him.” I look down at my hands. “The look on his face tells me that it’s over. I’m never going to see him again.”

“Don’t say that. You don’t know how he truly fee—” I hold up my hand to stop her from talking.

“You didn’t see him; it felt so final when he left.”

Sierra grabs my hands and pulls me into a hug. “It doesn’t have to be final if you don’t want it to be. He thought he was doing the right thing. Take some time and decide if you can live without him. If you can’t, then there’s your answer.”

I kiss her and hug her one more time before patting her belly and then standing. Nick comes out and gives me a hug, then walks me to the door. “You okay?”

I smile up at the built, blond hottie who is so head over heels in love with my sister. “Not yet, but I will be. Take care of your girls.”

Nick’s face lights up, and it makes me love him for Sierra even more. “Until the day I die.” I push up on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek one more time before getting on the elevator, waving to him as the doors slide shut.

Once I’m out of the building, I walk to my car. My stomach growls loudly, reminding me that I haven’t eaten today.

I decide to stop at my favorite little coffee shop that has the best chicken and avocado panini. When I pull into the parking lot, I check my bag to see if I have my iPad. I do, so I get out and head inside.

The scent of coffee beans hits me as soon as I walk inside. I stop at the counter and order my sandwich and a matcha iced latte. I grab a chair at the counter and wait for my sandwich.

I sip my drink as I scroll through Instagram and grin when I pull up Greta’s story. She’s doing one of her makeup tutorials. I love my sissy with all my heart, and thankfully her inner beauty is as strong as her outer beauty.

Her fan base is huge and keeps growing. Of course, with the fans comes the trolls, but she has a thick skin and doesn’t let their comments bother her. Usually they’re about her tattoos and piercings, how she shouldn’t have so many. She brushes it off.

The door dings, and I look around the plant, freezing when I see who is walking in. Colton leads a beautiful brunette inside, and I duck down so they can’t see me. Luckily there’s a big plant by me, and I’m able to hide.

They stand at the counter talking quietly, and my heart hurts watching him smile at her. Are they on a date? They’d make a beautiful couple—fuck, the words taste like acid on my tongue.

After they order I don’t see where they go; all I know is I can’t stay here. I can’t watch him date, but isn’t that what I wanted? I hurt him and pushed him away.

When the girl brings my sandwich I lean in and whisper, “Can I have it to go please?”

She smiles and nods before I watch her wrap it up and then place it in a brown paper bag. I thank her and grab it, and as quick as I can, I practically running until I reach my car.

It’s not until I’m almost home that I realize I have tears running down my cheeks. Shit.

 

***

 

My tattoo machine lightly vibrates in my hand as I work on the color of a sleeve. The client is wearing earbuds, listening to an audiobook, and I’m wearing mine, listening to the audiobook of my brother’s new release.

Normally I only read romance novels, but I can’t not read or listen to my brother’s books. Plus, it blocks out my thoughts. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Colton or the date he was on. I’ve constantly punished myself by wondering what they were doing, how their date went, or if he was really into her.

Why does the thought of him getting his happily ever after with someone else hurt so bad? Oh, yeah, because I love him and always will. I let Miles’ word flow through me as I finish the color on the cheetah on my client’s forearm.

I wipe down the tattoo. I’m still not done, but after two hours I pull my earbuds out and tell her I’m going to take a quick break if she wants to take one too. It will give both of us a chance to get up and stretch.

Lainey grabs her a drink, and I head to the office, stretching my back. I find my sister Mona and her gorgeous man, Joaquin, making out like a couple of teenagers.

“Ewww … I don’t want to see this,” I squeal and then cover my eyes.

Their laughter makes me smile. “Okay, we’re done, mi cuñada.” I move my hands from my face and see Joaquin is walking toward me, and I immediately walk into his arms for a hug. “How are you?”

I shrug. “Ahhh… I’ve been okay, I guess.” Before they can comment on that, I ask about the kids. “You know not to show up without those monsters I love.” Max and Iris say they’re twins now because they’re the same age, but obviously biologically they do not share blood. Iris’ sperm donor is not involved, and Max’s mom takes him whenever the mood strikes, which isn’t often.

Oh, well. I say it’s their loss because they don’t get to know these incredible kids.

“They’re still in school, weirdo,” my sister chimes in.

That’s when I realize it’s only two-thirty. “Ugh… I don’t know why I thought they were out already.” I grab a bottle of water out of the mini-fridge and chug half of it down. “Well, give them kisses from their favorite auntie.”

They both kiss me goodbye, and I don’t miss the way Joaquin grabs my sister’s hand and brings it to his lips, kissing it before wrapping his arm around her waist. I sigh. I want to be jealous, but after Sam nearly destroyed her and abandoned Iris, I’m so ecstatic that she has Joaquin who constantly showers both of his girls in love.

I pull my phone out, and like a creep, I get on Colton’s social media and try to see if there are any pictures of him and the girl, but the only one I see is one he’s tagged in, posing with a girl at what looks like a club.

I toss my phone down, pop a piece of gum in my mouth, and head out to finish the tattoo.

 

***

 

It’s my turn to close, so by the time I have everything wiped down I’m exhausted. I set the alarm and lock up, and with my pepper spray out, I hustle to my car. By the time I make it into my apartment twenty minutes later, I just want to hit the hay.

In the bathroom, I quickly brush out my refreshed cotton candy pink hair and pile it up on my head. I moisturize after washing my makeup off. Once my teeth are brushed, I head into my bedroom, crawl onto my bed, and collapse face first.

Thankfully, I’m exhausted and it doesn’t take long to fall asleep.