Camden by Shey Stahl
Camden traps me against the side of his van, his arms blocking my escape. He dips his bright green eyes until they catch mine, his hat shadowing his facial features. “It’s not like that.”
“It was a one-night stand.” Despite trying to keep my shit together, do you notice how broken I am in that moment? My tone wavers and my eyes dip from his, unable to hold on. I’m scared, nervous, and fighting for something I don’t understand. I stare at his chest, that’s rising and falling faster than I would have thought. “I wasn’t expecting us to get married or anything. You were just fulfilling a promise, right?”
Camden lifts my chin and forces me to look at him. His head tilts sideways, and his brows knit together as though he’s in pain by my words. “One-night stand?” And despite his control over his emotions and every word that slips from his lips, his voice breaks at the end as he nods a couple times. His hands on the wall shift the slightest bit when his stands falters. “That’s what you think? That I was only making right on my word?”
“Call it what it was.” I can feel the sharpness in my throat and know at any second it’s going to touch my eyes. “I knew it’d come to this,” I whisper, feeling like my heart meets my stomach.
“Is that all it was to you?” He squints, as if the sun is in his eyes, but it’s a ploy to stop his eyes from revealing the emotion he doesn’t want me to see. His hand drops from my chin. “Is it?”
“It doesn’t really matter what it is to me. You’re ending it.” Tears can’t be helped. I fail in my attempt to be strong and they slide down my heated cheeks before I can stop them. My heart is caving, falling in and surrendering. “I didn’t go into this thinking….” I let out a whoosh of breath as I try to continue but can’t.
Camden slides the hand that had been on my chin to around my waist, pulling me against his chest, and whispers into my hair, “Come on, Riv,” he says, desperately, as if he can’t possibly stand it any longer. “I don’t want—”
A sharp pain radiates through me. I won’t let him finish before I shove him, my hands struggling to maintain strength. “Just go.” I hold a hand against his chest. “You don’t want to be late.”
He cocks his head staring at me, holding my gaze. “I won’t be back for a month. Is this really how you want to end it?”
Drawing in a heavy breath, I let it out, preparing myself. “You’re the one ending it.” I move away, or try to. He won’t let me. I want him to be happy, I do. I want Camden to be happy more than I want myself to be happy. I have to let him go so he can reach his full potential without me holding him back.
I start to walk away, when he reaches for me once again, spinning me to face him. “You’ll never—” His eyes blink quickly before his hand slips away from mine, and he gives up.
I can tell by his expression he’s angry and confused at my response. I know in my heart that night with him wasn’t a one-night stand, but I’m also young and dumb. He hurt my feelings and I reacted like the inexperienced kid I am. Vindictive. Hurt me so I hurt you.
Without saying anymore, I leave him standing there and walk away. When I get toward my trailer, I can see him still standing there looking at me. Tears burn again and this time I don’t make an effort to stop them.
He’s a mistake. And I should have seen this coming.
That’s the only answer I can come up with. It’s one mistake after another, and certainly mutual as both of us avoided the truth. The truth is we were using each other, and for a different reason. Over the years we’d hung on to the little piece of ourselves we found comforting when together. And now look where that got me.
“You finally fucked him, didn’t you?” Maverick asks, standing beside me and watching Camden leave with Roan.
I stare at Maverick, trying to understand why Camden is friends with him. “I envy people who have never met you.”
“No you don’t. You want me.” He winks. “And the best way to get back at him would be to fuck his best friend,” he suggests, touching my hip.
I swallow over the tears, think about it, briefly, but I can’t do that. Not to Camden. Because no matter how bad it hurts that he’s leaving again, he will always be my favorite mistake.
