Huntsman by Cambria Hebert
21
Earth
You knowwhat my problem is? I do what I want.
I never really thought this was a problem until five minutes ago. Until the beauty currently riding shotgun asked me to kiss her.
I mean, who even does that?
Not even the ho-bags who dangled in cages at that hole-in-the-wall club I frequented were that bold.
Guess they didn’t need to be when their titties were hanging out and they were in actual cages.
But you know what? Those mask-wearing maneaters were no match for V. Not even on their best night, wearing their sexiest getup.
Her innocent curiosity and easy acceptance of the fucking chest of chemistry we seemed to stand on took them all down without spilling any blood. Hell, I was impressed.
I was also fucking out of my mind.
The last thing on this planet I should have done was kiss her.
But how could I deny that request? I should have. I didn’t want to. I wanted to kiss her with more ferocity than I’d probably ever wanted anything.
The need intoxicated me, bubbling over in my blood.
Laying my lips upon hers only made it worse. She tasted untainted, a woman without a drop of poison in her blood. Like unfiltered sunshine on a summer day, the kind of warmth that caressed your skin and spread, seeping deep to warm cold bones.
I forgot what innocence tasted like, the flavor of only pure desire. She didn’t try to take anything or battle against what I tried to claim. Instead, she melted into it as if it were me who was the sun and not her.
I’d set out to kiss her gently, perhaps just satisfying her request for another first like I had with the beer. But the second my nose brushed along hers, I knew I’d burn the whole world down around us if she disliked my kiss even a fraction as much as she disliked my beer.
I kissed the way I lived: aggressive, all-in, and selfish. I thought—no—I hoped I might scare her. Frighten her enough to never ask for another kiss again.
Because that was the thing. I did whatever the hell I wanted, but she seemed to be my limit. If she said no, I’d deprive myself to satisfy her wishes.
She was not afraid. She did not draw away. Her sweet mouth was so pliant and willing. The way she anchored herself against me to weather the storm I created only made me want to claim her more.
The poison in my veins likes her.
I felt it awaken, incensed by the raw passion only she had ever made me feel. But its fondness wouldn’t matter because even if the venom sought to embrace her, its embrace was deadly just the same.
The sharp claws of fear punctured deep, claiming me instead of her.
Fear was not something I often met because, in order to be afraid, you had to give a damn. I mostly did not give a single one.
Still, its stickiness coated the back of my throat, defiantly swimming up my esophagus like a tenacious disease seeking to taint our kiss.
I was tenacious too, though, and denied fear the pleasure. I should have also denied myself because now her unique flavor called to me like a craving. It hammered the back of my consciousness, begging for more.
“Does the reason you think I should be afraid of you have anything to do with what happened between you and my brother?” Her question filled the interior of the car, which, up until this point, had only been filled with the sounds of Snort’s heavy breathing.
“Yes.”
“But you still won’t tell me?” She pressed.
“No.”
My God, why did she ask so much of me? Why do I want to give it?
“Well, if you won’t tell me, then you can’t possibly use it to intimidate me.”
“Isn’t it enough already?” I suddenly bellowed, hands tightening to a bone-aching degree. “I got you out of there. I gave you beer, and I even gave you your first kiss! What else do you want from me?” My chest was heaving with angry gulps as I sucked in air. Goddammit!
Her silence was poignant, swollen with shock and tight with hurt.
A pang of conscience hit me, but the poison stirred up in my blood tried to dissolve it away. I knew I should apologize, but I couldn’t get out the words. I couldn’t do anything but sit there and brood hotly, staring at the road as it carried us closer to the crowded city.
Instead of saying anything, she leaned forward and turned on the radio.
The CD I had in (no Bluetooth in this old girl) roared to life, and I almost laughed at the absurdity.
I felt rather than saw her pause in surprise, her hand hovering over the volume knob before pulling back.
I counted down in my head. Three, two, one…
“You listen to K-pop,” she remarked.
I wanted to laugh because there was no way in hell this girl would not comment about this.
“It keeps me fluent in Korean,” I mumbled as the heavy beat of Monsta X filled the speakers.
Instead of telling me I was ridiculous, she started to sing along.
I probably looked like an owl as my head rotated on my shoulders, gaping at her with wonder.
She saw and shrugged. “You think I watch all those K-drama shows on Netflix and don’t listen to K-pop?” she reasoned before going back to singing.
We spent the rest of the ride back to the Tower saying nothing to each other, but her constant singing filled the silence.
It was annoying.
Annoyingly endearing.
I would bring her home. Drive away. Never come back.
The moment the car shut off, an awkward silence descended. Intent on ignoring it, I snatched the keys out of the ignition, fully intending on getting the fuck out of this car as fast as possible.
I needed space. I needed to simmer down. I needed to get my head on straight.
“First Neo and now you.”
As urgent as my previous thoughts had been, it turned out they were incredibly fragile, for they vanished the second her solemn words touched my ears.
“What?” My voice was gruff.
“People always say you won’t regret being brave and bold, but how can I not when it ends like this?”
The keys fell out of my hand. The leather of my jacket made a sharp sound against the seat when I rotated all the way to face her.
“Tell me what you mean.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she said, reaching for the door handle like she wished she could get out and run away.
I felt her frustration and even understood it. Still, I used the fact she couldn’t run against her. “You aren’t getting out of the car until you tell me.”
She half smiled, kind of bitter, kind of like she expected that reply. “Always at the mercy of someone else.” She spoke those words purely to herself.
“You aren’t at my mercy.”
Flashing eyes ripped up to mine, burning with intensity I didn’t often see in her. I realized then it was always there; she just kept it hidden well. “No? Is that why you gave me two firsts today? Is that why you gracefully allowed me out of my cage?”
My lips started to open, but she threw up her small hand.
“Is that why you only give what you choose and withhold the same? Believe it or not, Earth, I am at your mercy. At everyone’s. The minute I speak out or ask for something someone doesn’t want to give, I’m left behind. Banished into my tower and punished until I come around to whatever it is they think is best.”
And there it was. The darkness I knew she harbored. The darkness she usually lit up. Oh, darkness did not become her. In fact, it made me exceedingly uncomfortable to watch it close in.
Guilt, swift and sharp, shackled my chest, and a feeling of contriteness stabbed my normally unfeeling heart. I was selfish—something that never bothered me until she looked at me like this.
“What happened with Neo, sprite?” I thought the soft tone and nickname she seemed to like would take the edge off my question, make it seem more like a request.
But her eyes shot daggers as if she knew I was trying to manipulate her.
Perhaps I was.
Holding up my hands in surrender, I backed down without a fight. As loath as I was to leave things this way, it seemed trying to smooth them over would only make it worse.
The sound of my doorjamb releasing was masked by her voice.
“I said awful things to him.” The change in her tone, the quiet sorrow, made my fist tighten around the door handle. Even though I itched with the desire to turn toward her, I stayed still, keeping my back turned, keeping my hand on the handle but not pushing the door ajar.
“You can tell me about it. But only if you want.” Really, I wanted to demand. Everything inside me screamed with it. But not with V. I wouldn’t do that with her.
“I told him it was him who held me back. I threw his worst insecurities and guilt right in his face.” She sniffled.
My throat tightened painfully with that small sound.
“Can I turn around, V? Please let me turn around.”
“I wish you would.”
I spun, eyes desperate to search out every inch of her. I didn’t know what to do or how to do it, but I wanted to figure it out. She looked so small and lost sitting there in the black interior of my car. Her eyes were sad, not bright the way they should be, and shadows seemed to reach out their wicked talons, trying to engulf her.
The enclosed interior of this car was stifling, keeping me from indulging the sudden urge to pull her into my lap. If I could, I would wrap myself around her because my darkness would keep hers at bay.
Unable to do as I wanted, I shrugged off the leather and draped my jacket around her back, pulling the front closed beneath her chin. Just seeing her swallowed up by it, even all that glorious hair protected by the leather, settled some primal instinct inside me.
I didn’t push. I waited even though I was not a patient man. I would burn with impatience, allow it to eat me alive, before I demanded more explanation and made her feel as if she couldn’t make her own decision.
“I’m grateful I didn’t die that day because, if I had died, then Neo would have been alone. His survivor’s guilt is wretched, and if I hadn’t been here to give him a purpose and something to focus on, I don’t know what would have become of him. And then Ivory came along, and I’m so grateful. She gave him love he truly needed, showed him he could love again. Maybe that’s why I thought I could tell him. I thought maybe now he would understand.”
And what about you, Virginia? Who gives you the love you need?I didn’t say those things out loud because, frankly, I was shocked I even thought them.
“Understand what?” was all I said.
“I’ve told him a thousand times I don’t blame him for the accident that paralyzed me, even if he was the one driving the car. It was a terrible accident. I truly believe it.” She shook her head forlornly. “But my forgiveness doesn’t matter because he blames himself. I want to embrace my life, but I can’t do that because he won’t let me. He’s obsessed with finding a way to fix me because, if he fixes me, then he will finally be free. I just wish he saw I wasn’t broken.”
The jacket I’d placed around her wasn’t enough after all. There was still too much distance between us. When my palm cupped her cheek, she nuzzled deeper, eyes drifting closed for a few quiet moments.
It only happened a few times, when she took something from me instead of gave it. It was the only time in my entire life I was willing to be taken from, the only time I wanted to give.
The unsteady, heavy beat to my heart pounded against my ribs, acting as if it were trapped in a cell and begging desperately to be set free. Beneath that war, butterflies erupted, their damnable fluttering making me feel sick.
I endured it all. Hell, I reveled in it.
“He wants to send me to Sweden. A new doctor. A new surgery.”
He wants to send her away. Over my dead body.
“You told him no.” I guessed, reining in my true reaction and swallowing down the urge to yell.
“He was mad.”
He has no right. How dare he does this to her?
“Tell me what you want. What does life look like outside this tower?” I cajoled.
She nuzzled against my palm again, a soft, dreamy smile warming her face. “A small apartment with lots of windows. A cat. And a dog. And Zilla of course. A kitchen where I can try my hand at cooking, even though I’ll be terrible at it. A big TV to watch all my favorite shows and a door that locks so people can’t just barge in whenever they feel like it.”
“Your door doesn’t have a lock?” I growled just thinking of people having such easy access to her.
“Flowers everywhere. Independence. And…”
Her teeth sank into her lower lip, stopping whatever else she would wish for. Using my thumb, I tugged the flesh free, suddenly desperate to kiss her.
“And?”
She whispered the rest as though it were too impossible to even say out loud. “And a flower shop downstairs where I could make colorful arrangements that would spill out onto the sidewalk.”
“That’s all you want?” I asked, thinking that it was really nothing at all.
I’ll give it to you. Every last piece of it. And if anyone dares to get in the way, I’ll kill them.
She pulled away. “It may not seem like much to you, but to me, it’s everything.”
She thought I was ridiculing her when, in actuality, I was in awe of how she could make something so simple and boring sound like heaven on earth.
“What about love?”
Both of us paused, but there was no way she could ever be as shocked by my words as I was.
Love?My inner voice mocked. Love? The venom in my veins laughed. It was preposterous I would even think of it, let alone allow such stupidity to come out of my own mouth.
I endured the ridicule I rained onto myself because, sure, a man like me would never know love. But Virginia? It seemed so wrong for her to not have it.
“I think I’ve dreamed enough already.” Eyes ambiguous and gaze shuttered, she stared down into her lap.
The sparks of rage that always lived inside me lit up, roaring to life in a great fire. I didn’t know what made me more pissed off: the fact that she seemed to think no one would love her or the fact I knew someone would.
They wouldn’t be good enough. No one will ever be good enough for her.
“Tell him,” I demanded, throwing my anger at Neo instead. “Tell Neo this is what you want.”
“I can’t.” She refused. “He’s sacrificed so much for me. I won’t ask for more.”
“You haven’t asked for anything!” I yelled.
“That’s not what you said before.” She didn’t have to raise her voice for her words to hit their mark.
Sagging back into my seat, I could only mourn the distance between us and sulk because I was the one who insisted it be there.
Grabbing my jacket from the inside, she tugged it off, gently draping it over the center console. “I should go in. I have PT. And you have a life.”
I banged out of the car, boots stomping on the pavement, doors slamming as I got her chair. How dare she just dismiss me like that? How dare she make me feel?
She sat calmly in the passenger seat even after I wrenched open her door. Despite my ire, I leaned in gently to unclasp the seatbelt I knew she was perfectly able to release herself.
My knuckles grazed over her middle and then across her collarbone as I retracted the belt. I heard her low intake of breath, and something hot blazed within.
I reached for the closest patch of skin I could, dragging my knuckles lightly over her forearm all the way to the inside of her elbow.
Chest heaving, her brown eyes fell to where I grazed. “Please don’t make me want more things I can’t have,” she whispered.
I couldn’t breathe, but who needed air?
I couldn’t think, but thoughts were overrated.
Lifting my hand from her skin, I pushed her chin up so she had to meet my eyes. “What things?”
“Things you told me not to ask for again.”
“Ask anyway,” I beckoned.
“No.”
Her refusal only made it sweeter, only made the need gnawing at my insides that much greater. I smiled, liking the way she declined to give in. Loving the way she refused to be afraid.
I leaned in slowly, like a predator stalking prey. I moved with intention, allowing her to see exactly what I planned to do. If she wanted away, I would let her escape, but if she wanted to be caught… My lips covered hers, my hand spreading out to cup her chin, keeping it in place.
Her soft sound was like a satisfied whimper, lips parting to let me swallow that beautiful sound. Blood roared in my ears, satisfaction seeped out of my pores, and my tongue hunted for hers.
I loved the way her fingers encircled my wrist, holding on to me as I held on to her. Our lips clung together, moving without parting as a feeling I’d never known until we kissed took root inside me and a piece of me howled to never let it go.
Something hard and heavy slammed against me, fisting into the T-shirt stretched over my back. Usually quick to react, this time I was slow, my lips clinging to hers even as I was wrenched back.
Her soft sound of alarm brought me to my senses, and the roaring, overwhelming sense to protect took over.
Even in my natural violence, I used a steady hand to make sure whatever force grabbed me did not affect her, and only then did I spin, dislodging the grip.
Planting myself between the open car door and whatever threat had arrived, I readied myself for a fight.
“What the fuck is this?” a deep, angry snarl burst out. A flash of red plaid was a mere blur as a fist plowed into my jaw. I rocked back but held my ground, the sound of Virginia yelling from inside the car the only thing I heard.
I didn’t think. I didn’t see. All I did was hear her scream and feel a threat.
I had him pinned to the dirty, uneven pavement before I even blinked. The blade usually at my back had been put in the trunk because I didn’t want to scare Virginia.
Instead, I reached into my boot, drawing out another blade, its sharpened silver glinting in the sun. The man below me fought and struggled, but I was incensed and brought the blade whistling down.
“Earth! No!” Virginia wailed, her panic breaking through.
I slowed enough for a hand to stop my wrist, keeping the blade from nicking flesh and giving me a moment to actually see.
Neo.
Feeling my eyes widen, I glanced down to where I had the knife at his throat and he had his hand blocking me from opening him up.
“Earth, please!” Virginia cried. The pure terror in her tone brought everything else I’d been missing crashing back.
I blinked, pulled the knife away, and sat back.
Underneath me, Neo glowered, eyes blazing like he wanted to murder. “You pulled a knife on me!”
“You snuck up on me.”
“You were kissing my sister!”
V was still crying, and the sound was all I could really hear. Shoving off him, I sheathed the knife back in my boot and went toward V.
“It’s okay,” I told her. “He’s fine.”
She looked like she was about to give me a piece of her mind, but then Neo was there, shoving me back and stepping between us.
“Don’t even think about touching her,” he spat, turning his back on me completely.
Teeth gritted, I watched as he reached in and lifted her out of my car, cradling her in his arms.
“I still have that knife,” I said darkly.
Neo started to say something, but V cut him off. “Would you two knock it off? Honestly! We’re in the street!”
We both shut up, breathing heavily, refusing to break the stare first.
Between us, Virginia sighed dramatically. “What are you doing here, Neo? I thought you were mad?”
“You’re upset with me?” he snapped. “I’m not the one who took advantage of you and then pulled a knife on your brother!”
“I didn’t know it was you,” I snarled, thinking about maybe pulling the knife out again.
Neo snorted like he knew what I was thinking.
Asshole.
“He didn’t take advantage of me.” Virginia’s quiet voice was like some kind of nuclear bomb silencing our fight.
Neo’s eyes ripped from mine, his mouth turning down and brow puzzling. “What?”
Virginia glanced at me. I shook my head, telling her not to say it. I’d take the blame. I’d let him hate me for it and not even think twice. I’d rather Neo fight with me than with her.
She smiled softly as if she understood all of that from just a shake of my head, but then she turned her gaze back up to her brother and it took on a different note.
“I said he didn’t take advantage of me. I asked him to kiss me.”
Neo reacted physically, stepping back, his arms slackening just a little.
I lurched forward. “Be careful!”
That brought his back up. “Don’t you tell me how to treat her! I’ve been taking care of her all her life!”
“Yeah!” I burst out. “How the hell is that going?”
Silence.
Actual dead silence in the center of the city. In the middle of this just-a-step-above-ghetto neighborhood.
I took the moment to rush in, pulling her out of Neo’s arms and into mine. Her upper body was rigid. Her arms didn’t wrap around my neck like always.
I told myself I didn’t give a damn and gently put her in the wheelchair.
“You should go,” she told me, voice quiet but not unkind.
“I’m not leaving you here with him.” I didn’t keep my voice quiet.
Neo made a rude sound and then said some even ruder words.
Virginia laid her hand on my forearm, brown eyes pleading. “I need some time alone with my brother.”
“Fine.” I straightened away, giving her what she asked for.
“Earth?” she called out when I was a few steps away.
I turned back.
“You’ll come back, right?” The soft vulnerability in her voice made me want to kiss it away.
“Hell no, he won’t!” Neo fumed.
I spared him a mild glance and then returned my stare to V. “If you want me to come back, I will.”
She nodded once, and it was all she had to say.
“This isn’t over.” Neo spat the words at my feet.
“I know.”
I drove away pondering the fact that what started out as a favor to help out my brother and hopefully get him to trust me again turned into something that could very well rip apart the tenuous bond that had been holding us together.