A Family of Her Own by Rose Pearson

Chapter Fifteen

Claveston went to his sister’s rooms, only to find them empty. He punched the door, furious that she had ignored his order to stay there until he returned. He was shocked when he went out into the corridor to see her emerging, red-eyed from Miss Lefebvre’s chambers. She turned her head and saw him. Her eyes were wide with fear. “Please don’t shout at me,” she begged. “I’m going to see Papa. I’m going to tell him that it was all my fault.”

Claveston was surprised at her words, but he was also proud of her. “Miss Lefebvre convinced you to tell the truth?”

“Not exactly,” Gertrude admitted shamefacedly. “After you knew, I went to her and confessed. I never meant for things to go so far - you have to believe that. I didn’t know how Mama and Papa would react so angrily. It all got out of hand so quickly.”

Claveston shook his head. How could she possibly have known how their parents would react to such a thing. She barely knew them. They’d been around so little, and all she’d ever seen of them was their generous and lazy affection. She knew so little of the real world, and he blamed himself for that. He could have done more for her, to teach her how hard life could be for those born without their privileges. But as her brother, that should not have been his role. Such teaching should have come from loving parents.

“I will come with you,” he said supportively. “I think it is time we told Mama and Papa that their actions are as much to blame as anything else.”

They made their way down the stairs, arm in arm. Claveston could feel his sister was shaking violently. She was so scared of what might happen. “I love you,” he whispered as they stopped for a moment outside Papa’s office. “And I am proud of you.”

She gave him a wan smile and raised her tiny fist to rap on the door. The knock was timid, but Papa obviously still heard it. “Enter,” he barked loudly.

Claveston pressed a kiss to Gertrude’s forehead and gave her a quick squeeze. She laid her hand on the doorknob and turned it, opening the door cautiously and stepping inside. She turned back to her brother. “I think I should do this alone,” she said bravely and shut him outside.

Claveston pressed his ear to the door. At first, the voices were so quiet he could barely make out a thing, but his father’s voice grew louder and soon Gertrude was shouting just as loud as him, just in order to be heard. A few moments later the door was flung open. Claveston jumped back out of his father’s way. Papa stomped up the stairs and was soon out of sight.

Claveston peered around the study door. Gertrude was sitting in front of Papa’s desk, her head in her hands, sobbing loudly. Claveston hurried to her side and hugged her tightly. “You did the right thing,” he assured her, kissing her cheek and rubbing her back as she cried into his shoulder.

“Will he still put Sophie out?” Gertrude whispered.

“I don’t know, but I doubt she’ll stay even if he doesn’t. Would you wish to stay somewhere when you’d been accused of theft?”

Gertrude shook her pretty head. “No, I suppose I wouldn’t. And so, I will lose the only friend I’ve ever really had, and it is all my own fault.”

There was nothing that Claveston could say to that. He was sure that Sophie would go. He would not wish to stay somewhere that had put him through such an ordeal. The voices of his parents in the hallway made him stand up and wander towards the door.

“We have wronged her,” Papa was saying to Mama as they drew near. “I can hardly believe a child of ours would create such a fiction and cause such great harm.”

“She should stay if she wishes to do so. But something needs to be done about the child,” Mama said dismissively as if she didn’t care much one way or the other.

Their conversation riled Claveston. “Do you not wonder why she might do such a thing?”

“Because she is spoiled and thinks there are no consequences to such actions,” Mama said, looking put out by it all.

“And why is she that way?” Claveston asked. “Or do you not think that far?”

“Be careful,” Papa said sternly. “Remember your place, my boy.”

“And where is my place?” Claveston asked angrily. “Is it doing precisely as I am told, with no real purpose in life other than that you deem to give me? Is it as my sister’s parent, as her parents are never here to actually act in that place? Is it to run the household that neither of you care enough for to actually spend more than a few weeks a year in?”

“You overstep,” Papa roared. “How dare you speak to us in such a way.”

“How dare I? How dare I?” Claveston asked incredulously. “You have done nothing to raise either myself or Gertrude. Mama has made it clear that even being present for her daughter’s most important Season, her very first, is not important enough for her to be present throughout its entirety. I was bundled off to school and expected to raise myself, while Gertrude has seen a parade of nannies and governesses come and go. Yet despite never doing anything to deserve our love and respect, you demand it whenever you deign to breeze into our lives.”

“Such nonsense,” Mama said dismissively. “Your lives are no different to any other child of our acquaintance.”

“Now that is simply not true,” Claveston retorted. “I have had more loving care and support from Cormick’s family than from my own. Mrs. Grint has been more of a mother to us than you have been, with all your trips abroad to find yet another trinket we don’t need.”

“How dare you,” Mama said, her eyes wide now. “I have done everything I can to ensure you have all you need and want.”

“All we ever wanted was you,” Gertrude said sadly as she emerged from the study. “Why can you never see that?”

Nobody said anything. What was there to be said? Gertrude had said everything that needed to be said. Claveston could see the pain in his sister’s eyes and heard every bit of longing she had in her voice – a longing that was echoed in his own heart.

He put an arm around her waist and escorted her up to her rooms. She crawled into her bed, fully dressed, and curled up into a tight ball. “Everything will be alright,” he tried to assure her.

“No, it won’t,” she said. “Sophie will leave, whether Mama and Papa dismiss her or not. They will leave, again. At some point, you will go back to London and I will be here alone. Nothing ever changes.”

There was nothing Claveston could say to that, either. He kissed her tenderly and left her to cry and to sleep. He made his way back downstairs. His parents were huddled together in his father’s study. They no longer looked angry and shocked. But they also did not look happy. Clearly words had continued to be exchanged after he and Gertrude had left. He wondered precisely what it was that the couple had been arguing over.

His father beckoned him inside. “Your mother and I have been discussing our plans for the next few months,” he said briskly. “I think we can ensure that one or other of us is here and that we are both here together more often.”

“Gertrude will be glad of that,” Claveston said softly. It was too late for him, but perhaps it wasn’t for Gertrude.

“I will ensure I am here for the entirety of Gertrude’s Season,” Mama said. “You are right, I should be there.”

“And I shall make sure I am in London for her presentation at Court and will throw her a grand ball,” Papa said.

“She doesn’t need a grand ball,” Claveston said. “She just needs you there, at least from time to time.”

They both nodded. “And Miss Lefebvre. She needs her, does she not?” Mama asked.

“I believe so, but I doubt if she will wish to remain part of this household after all she has gone through,” Claveston said sadly.

“Do you think there is any way you can convince her to remain?” Papa asked.

Claveston thought for a moment before he responded. There was a way he longed for Sophie to stay, but despite all that Cormick had said, he wasn’t sure if his feelings for her were reciprocated. “I don’t know,” he said simply.

“Will you try and talk to her?” Papa asked.

“I think it might be best if the two of you do. You need to apologize for all you’ve put her through. I doubt she’ll stay without that, so you may as well try that first.”

* * *

From time to time,Sophie could hear raised voices coming from downstairs. She couldn’t make out what they were saying, but it seemed as if the family was fracturing around her. She couldn’t help feeling guilty, even though she knew that the family had been fragile long before her arrival – and that it was Gertrude’s actions that had brought them to this point.

She continued to pack her things and was just closing her trunk when there was a knock on her door. She was stunned to see the Duke and Duchess of Compton hovering in the hallway. They both looked nervous, something she’d not ever seen in either of them before. “May we come in?” they asked politely.

“It is your house, you may go wherever you wish,” Sophie said quietly as she stood back to let them in.

The duchess took a seat on the sofa in Sophie’s small parlor. The duke stood before the fireplace his hands folded behind his back. Sophie stood quietly by the door, waiting to hear what they had come to say. It was strange to see them together in the same room, especially one as small as this. “We must offer you our sincerest apologies,” the duchess said, her expression grave. “We have wronged you, and we now know exactly what has happened.”

“Thank you, your Grace,” Sophie said generously.

The duke glanced around the room. His eyes rested on the trunk a few feet away from where Sophie was stood. “You are already packed?” he asked then looked a little sheepish for stating the obvious.

“I assumed that whatever ‘appened that you would not wish me to remain here,” Sophie said simply.

“We do not wish you to go,” the duchess said. “But we do understand if you think you have no other choice.”

“Would you stay, if you were me, your Grace?” Sophie asked.

“No,” the duke admitted. “I would never wish to see any of us ever again.”

“And a part of me feels that way, your Grace,” Sophie admitted. “Your lack of trust in me has hurt me terribly.”

“I don’t doubt it,” the duchess said. “And for that we are truly sorry. And I know Gertrude is sorry, too.”

“As do I,” Sophie said. “She spoke to me before she came to you.”

“She needs you,” the duke said.

“If I might speak frankly?” Sophie asked. They both nodded. “She does not. She needs the two of you.”

“Our son has already pointed that out to us,” the duchess said drily. “You are right of course, but she needs you, too.”

“I would like to see her Coming Out. I believe she has learned much since I ‘ave arrived, and I would like to see ‘ow well she applies it. But I am not sure if I want that enough to forget what ‘as happened in the past few days.”

“We understand,” the duke said. “Take your time to think it over. Do not leave right away. There is no rush for you to make up your mind, but know that you are wanted, you are trusted, and you are needed here.”

They departed, leaving Sophie alone with her thoughts. She looked out of the window and saw Mr. Cormick wandering through the gardens. He had proven himself a good listener in the past, and she was glad he was here visiting at a time when she could use an understanding ear. She reached for her wrap and headed outside, hurrying to where she had last seen him. She found him wandering in the kitchen garden, talking to one of the gardeners.

“Miss Lefebvre, how delightful to see you,” he said, bowing deeply. His smile was warm, and she found herself smiling back at him, despite the pit of misery deep inside her.

“I cannot tell you ‘ow ‘appy I am to see you,” she said as she gave him a respectful curtsey. He offered her his arm, which she took gladly. They walked along the gravel paths and he pointed out some of the crops that would soon be on the table. She was surprised he knew so much about such things, but it was clear that he was an unusual man.

“So, I understand that your name has been cleared,” Mr. Cormick said politely as they entered the formal gardens, out of earshot of the gardeners.

“It ‘as, and though I expected to be leaving this evening, I ‘ave been asked to remain in my position.”

“And you are hesitant?”

“I am,” she admitted. “I ‘ave been badly let down by Lady Gertrude. What she did ‘as hurt me deeply, though I understand why she did it. I do not feel safe here. Yet I do not ‘ave anywhere else to go, so am loathe to walk away from a position until I ‘ave a new one.”

“And despite it all, you are fond of Lady Gertrude and Lord Claveston, am I right?”

She nodded. “I am. My ‘eart and my ‘ead are in a terrible muddle.”

“Would it help if I told you that he loves you?” Mr. Cormick asked, a twinkle in his eye. Sophie stared at him, her mouth agape.

“I do not think so, Mr. Cormick.”

“Do you not? Oh, I do. In fact, I know so, because he told me.”