When Life Happened by Jewel E. Ann

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Parker re-cleaned the kitchen after the pigs made a mess and half-assed the cleanup. Their kids were doomed. Aunt Parker would be their only example of cleanliness and organization.

Normally she wouldn’t have cared about the mess, but it required her to deal with the worst part of the farmhouse—the view from the kitchen sink. She needed to plant a blue spruce in front of it to hide the Westmans’ house. It was like a gigantic tombstone staring back at her.

Would the day ever come that she stopped being mad at Gus? She knew he didn’t die on purpose, but something inside of her blamed him for her broken heart. He could have died without breaking it, had he not been carrying it around. That’s how things got broken. Even children knew that. Why didn’t he leave it alone? Let it be. Mind his own business.

Just as she grabbed the last wet dishtowel, Levi walked out with Rags on his leash. He watched the dog sniff for the perfect place to lift his leg, and then he looked toward Parker’s house. After a few seconds, he dropped his head and rubbed the back of his neck. When Rags finished, they headed back to the house. Just before he shut the door, Levi looked back toward the farmhouse. Parker took a step backward even though there was no way he could see her.

“Levi … Levi … Levi …” She shook her head. “Pretty fucking stupid. Sex. No condom. No questions.” Parker was on the pill, but he didn’t know that. Didn’t ask. She wondered how many Levi spawns might be scattered throughout the world. How many stupid moments he’d had in his past.

“I probably have HIV or herpes now. Great, Parker. Just great,” she mumbled, taking the dishtowels to the laundry room. Aunt Parker needed to work on other areas of role modeling.

*

The threesome atedinner together. Afterward, Piper and Caleb invited Parker to watch a movie with them. She planted herself on the opposite end of the sofa. The movie didn’t hold her attention quite like the couple beside her. Caleb’s hands covered Piper’s, both resting them on her baby belly. Their presence made Parker feel lonelier than when she had truly been alone. Gus took their love to the grave with him. If she couldn’t share what they’d had together or how much she missed him, then maybe it never happened. Maybe it wasn’t real. Who would ever believe her?

“I’m going to bed.” Parker stood.

The happy couple smiled. “Good night.”

The wood floor creaked beneath her as she climbed the stairs. She turned left but after two paces, she sighed, turning the opposite way to her new room. The only thing constant in her life was change.

Somewhere between counting all of the memories of Gus in his Cubs cap and then feathering her fingertips over every part of her body he’d touched, Parker fell asleep. Several hours later she awoke to the crack of lightning and the roar of thunder. The war in the night sky flickered and flashed. Parker watched the shadows dance along the wall. She sat up, listening hard to a faint sound that grew louder and louder.

“Rags,” she whispered, throwing off the covers and slipping on a pair of shorts under her baggy tee. Easing down the stairs, grimacing at each creak, she hurried to the back door, slipped on her black rain boots and a yellow raincoat.

Gusts of wind sprayed her with rain as the endless flickers of lightening lit her way to the fence. “Shhh … quiet, you big goof. You can’t chase it away.” She opened the gate and whistled for him to follow her to the shed. The wind slammed the door shut behind them as she flipped on the light. Rags shook, sending water flying everywhere, not that it mattered. They were already soaked.

Retrieving a couple of old towels from the cabinets, she dried them both off. After sniffing every inch of the shed, Rags dropped to the floor, content with his new surroundings and the company.

“How did you get out? I thought you were on house arrest?”

He blinked at her.

“I can’t take you in the house. You’re too messy, and I have roommates now that might not like a middle of the night visitor.”

Rags cocked his head to the side.

“I know. Who doesn’t love a wet dog?” She crossed her arms over her chest. “If I leave you alone, you’re going to freak out again, aren’t you?”

His head cocked to the other side.

“That’s what I figured.” She opened several more cabinets and found an old plaid blanket that looked like it had been used as a paint drop cloth on more than one occasion. “This will have to work.” She wrapped it around herself and sat down next to Rags. They waited for the storm to quit, but it had more stamina than Parker expected. After an hour or so, her body slumped to the side, head resting on Rags’s belly.

*

“Rags?” Levi called.

“Is he in the basement?” his dad asked, putting on a pot of coffee.

“No. That’s just where I came from.”

“He has to be in the yard,” his mom said. It was the most she’d said in days. Even when Levi had been out all night with Parker, she never said anything.

Joe kissed her on the cheek and pulled her into his arms. Levi loved how his parents cared for each other after so many years. He questioned if that kind of love still existed.

“I’ll check the yard again, but I didn’t see him.” Levi walked the parameter of the fenced-in yard for a second time, checking for holes Rags might have dug and making sure the gates were secure. He did a double take that time around as he tugged on the far gate. Footprints of both human and canine were on the opposite side in the mud, filled partially with water.

He opened the gate and followed them to the shed. Easing open the door, he peeked inside. The vision before him sparked an instant smile—Parker wrapped in a blanket, using Rags for a pillow. The dog glanced up at him, but didn’t move, as if to say, “Shhh, don’t wake the girl.” Levi thought only one thing in that moment: lucky dog.

Inching his way into the shed, like stepping on broken glass, he eased the door shut and sat on the ground opposite of her and Rags. Levi hugged his knees to his chest, resting his chin on one of them. Shifting slightly, she mumbled something that sounded like, “Don’t go.” Her eyes stayed closed, long lashes resting on her cheeks, lips parted, and hands balled together at her chest. Rags made his own noise as he sighed and rested his head against the floor.

Levi thought about their night together that no longer existed. It was just sex. It was stupid. It was all he could think about.

“What are you doing?” Parker opened her eyes in a few slow blinks, grimacing as she brought herself to sitting.

“You find a job yet?”

She yawned, stretching her arms above her head. “No.” Her yawn ended in a chuckle. “We talked about this yesterday. I’m efficient, but not a magician.”

“Then come back to Arizona with me.” At that point, short of his sister resurrecting from the grave, there was nothing he wanted more. No explanation. No reasoning that made sense. It just felt right.

“What?” She narrowed her eyes.

“You don’t have a job. Your sister and your ex-boyfriend slash brother-in-law just moved in with you and kicked you out of your room.” Levi grinned. “Your truck is total shit. My newly adopted dog loves you. And I know I’ll never find the right brand of turkey jerky without you.”

Blink

Blink

Blink

“Uh … I … don’t understand exactly what you’re asking me. And I have …” She frowned as if she had nothing. “You’re crazy. I told you, I don’t have money to travel. And …” She stood and folded the blanket. “I’ve reached my lifetime limit of making stupid decisions.” Her lips pulled into a sad, apologetic smile.

He knew she regretted what happened.

“I refuse to turn thirty and have nothing to show for my twenties other than a string of mistakes and missed opportunities.”

“Don’t think of this as a stupid decision; think of it as a missed opportunity if you don’t go.”

“Really?” She put the blanket in the cabinet and brushed off her clothes. “I think I need a real job.”

“We’ll look for you a real job along the way. If you don’t find one, then you’ll have my offer which is real.”

“Along the way?” Parker perked a brow. “Is this fantasy trip of yours a driving trip or flying? Are we going to look for Now Hiring signs ‘along the way’ and dump me off as soon as someone employs me?”

“If it feels right.”

“To who?” She could barely speak without laughing.

“To you. You’ll know when it’s right. Trust your gut.”

“My gut is not trustworthy.” She combed her fingers through her hair.

“Sure it is.” Levi lumbered to standing and brushed off the back of his jeans.

“And how will I pay for this trip? Are you going to pimp me out? I’m not sure how good I would be at turning tricks.”

“I’ll pay your way.”

“No, thank you.” She reached for the door.

He pressed his hand to it. “I think …” He sighed, eyebrows pinched together. For someone who excelled in the art of honesty, he couldn’t find the words, truth or lie. “I think I need you.”

Parker’s eyes grew. “Excuse me?”

He weighed his words, but they didn’t amount to much.

“Is this about—”

Levi shook his head. “It’s not about anything stupid.” It wasn’t. As much as he craved their physical connection, he needed something more that only she seemed to possess, and he couldn’t explain it because it wasn’t tangible or easily definable.

“I think asking me to take off with you—no money, no direction, no thought—is not exactly smart.”

Still, he didn’t have the words. He thought if he stood there long enough looking at her, she might understand everything without having to say anything. A long shot.

“You need me for what? Rags?”

“Him too, yes.”

“Like a dog sitter?”

“No. Like … just a person in …” His heart had a terrible time keeping up with his nerves. It beat erratically—desperately—in search of reprieve. Why couldn’t her mind submit to his feelings the way her body had submitted to his touch?

Keeping her questioning gaze on him, she turned her head a fraction to the side. “Just a person in what?”

“My life.” He took the leap, free falling with his stomach in his throat.

Parker pursed her lips, returning a very slow nod. “I … see. So, when my family and friends ask where I’m going and what I’m doing, I should say, ‘I’m going to be a person in Levi’s life.’ Is this correct?”

He needed a better plan. Hell, he needed more time to sell the deal.

“Yeah.” He puffed out his chest and grinned, hoping confidence was a trait she admired.

Curling her lips between her teeth, she continued to nod. “Mmm-hmm … I see. What’s the contract on this highly unique position? And specifically what would be my duties? And I need more details on the pay and benefits. Is there room for advancement, or is this just an entry-level position with no place to go?”

“I think we can leave the contract open. And your duties are flexible, depending on your skill level and qualifications. You can pretty much set your own pay and benefits are negotiable.” He scratched his chin. “It’s definitely an entry-level position, but I think you could be eligible for promotions.”

“Sounds like a dream job.”

“I’d like to think so.”

Shock and disbelief he expected, but not the pain. Within seconds Parker seemed to fade into some distant place as her whole body deflated along with her smile.

“Can we pretend I never said anything? Blame it on a toxic mix of grief and sleep depravation? What do you say?” A total chicken. He needed to find his dick. It must have fallen off in the back of Old Blue.

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, eyes cast downward, she nodded.

“I’m sorry. Again, just … this never happened. I’m not even here. Rags, let’s go.” He led the dog out of the shed and back to the house. “You’re an idiot,” he mumbled to himself, angry for being so impulsive. “Of course she’s not going to leave town with some guy she’s known for less than a week. God!” Levi face-palmed his forehead as he went into the house. He needed to find a way to deal with his loss that didn’t involve life-altering invitations.

“I need to take your mom home. She can’t be here anymore.”

Levi turned to his dad’s voice at the entrance to the kitchen.

Joe gave him a sad smile. “She’s taken a handful of things, but she doesn’t want anything else. If you want to stay and go through the rest with the Westmans, that’s fine. If not, hire someone to auction it off, sell the house, and …” He sighed, the previous few days hung in dark bags under his bloodshot eyes.

Levi watched Rags sniff around the kitchen. “I’m going to rent a car and drive him home. His meds seem to be working, so there’s no need for me to stay much longer either. I’ll wait a few days, but then I’m out of here too.”

Joe rested his hand on Levi’s shoulder. “I get it. And I know you don’t need me to tell you this, but take your time coming home. You’re still grieving, and I’m not sure where you were last night, but do whatever you need to work that out too.”

“Yeah.” Levi hadn’t taken much time to grieve their deaths. Instead, he found a wonderful distraction. But … he couldn’t take that distraction with him, so the time to face reality had come. He swallowed past the thick emotion, turned his back to his dad, and he smiled. Big. Goofy. And soul-crushingly painful.