When Life Happened by Jewel E. Ann

Chapter Forty

“Do you play here a lot?” Parker asked as Levi unloaded their golf clubs from his gray SUV.

“All the time.”

“With your friends?”

“Yeah, but not on Fridays. Too crowded.”

“It’s Friday.”

He nodded. “Exactly. We don’t have to worry about running into them. You already met Ziek. Do you really want that personality multiplied by three?”

“Yet … they are your friends.”

“Absolutely. Thick and thin. And for doing guy things, they are the best. But …”

He sped like a crazy man toward the clubhouse.

“But what?”

“They act differently around women, specifically women I date. It’s like they lose all control of their mouths and just say random offensive shit. They wouldn’t like you. No offense.”

“Why? What’s wrong with me?” She lowered her sunglasses to the tip of her nose, giving him a sideways glance.

Levi rested his hand on her bare leg, giving it a squeeze. “Nothing. You’re perfect. That’s why they’d hate you. Single guys don’t like it when their buddies find the perfect woman.”

“Because …”

“Because guys with perfect women in their lives don’t usually want to hang out with their imperfect friends. That makes you the enemy to them.”

“I’m not perfect.”

Levi pulled to a stop by several other golf carts next to the clubhouse. “You are to me.”

“Dude … our pussy-whipped friend has emerged from Vagina Land.”

“Oh fuck.” Levi closed his eyes.

Parker turned around.

“How’s the trampoline?” Ziek asked, walking toward them, dressed in flashy golf attire, just like the two guys walking beside him.

“Bouncy.” She returned a tight grin.

“Where was the call, buddy?” Ziek slapped his hand on Levi’s shoulder.

“You guys don’t like to golf on Fridays.” Levi got out of the golf cart and nodded toward the clubhouse.

Parker followed.

“Where’s the love?” One of the other guys said as they followed them inside.

“Sorry, Parker from Iowa.” Ziek rammed the toe of his shoe into the heel of Levi’s shoe. “Someone has forgotten his manners.”

Levi turned, giving Ziek a shut-up look. “You’re right. Parker, these are my other two friends, Trace and Kev. Guys, this is Parker. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to grab some drinks and tee off.”

“We just got here.” Trace, the one with black hair slicked back and his own impressive display of muscles, grinned. “So we’ll meet you at the first hole.”

“Not a good idea.” Levi paid for two bottles of water.

“Why not?” Kev, the lankier one with male pattern baldness, asked. “You don’t mind, do you, Parker?”

“Um …” She shrugged, glancing up at Levi. “Might be fun.”

Levi frowned. “Let’s go.”

“We’ll be there in five,” Ziek called.

“Now listen up…” Levi jumped into the golf cart “…stay close to me at all times. Especially if they get too nicey-nice with you.”

“What?” She laughed at the seriousness of his voice and the absurdity of their conversation.

He nodded. “If they’re nice to you, it’s because they’re trying to steal you away from me. Everything is a game to them.”

“No guy code?”

“No. These guys are spoiled little rich boys like me.” He winked at her. “They made their fortunes in college or shortly after. Total jerk-offs in their late twenties and early thirties with nothing better to do than waste their days golfing and taking private jets to fancy places for quick dinners and even quicker lays before flying back home to make their tee times the next morning.”

“They sound like real winners.”

They sped off toward the first tee. “Deep down, they’re great guys, really. Their families haven’t kept them quite as grounded as mine has.”

Parker chuckled. “You’re grounded?”

“Yes. I have a day job. That grounds me.”

“Oh, right. The drawing thing.”

“Yes, the drawing thing.” He glanced behind them. “Here they come. No flirting. Don’t smile too much. And don’t bend over. That short-skirt thingy you’re wearing is too fucking revealing for these idiots. And watch your nipples. It’s ninety degrees out here, but I see they haven’t gotten the memo.”

Parker looked down at her chest. “Dammit. I hate this bra.” She pulled her shirt away from her chest as much as possible.

Levi skidded to a stop at the first tee.

“Levi give you the watch out for us speech already?” Ziek asked. “He’s afraid one of us will steal you away from him.”

“You boys good at stealing girls from Levi?”

“Mandy, Elle, Veronica,” Kev said with a wiggle to his brows.

“Monique, Deb.” Ziek winked.

“Don’t forget Haley.” Trace shook his head and whistled.

“Haley,” Ziek and Kev said at the same time and then sighed heavily.

“You guys are dicks. You know that, right? And you’ve never stolen a girl from me.” Levi didn’t wait for anyone. He teed up and killed it with his big dog, straight down the center of the fairway.

“Who was Haley?” Parker asked.

Levi slipped his club back into the bag. “Who’s next?” He didn’t look at Parker.

Ziek went next, followed by Trace and Kev.

Levi tapped his hand on the steering wheel of the golf cart like a smoker in need of a nicotine hit.

“You’re up, hot stuff.” Kev grinned at Parker.

“I’m going to shove your driver up your ass if you call her that again,” Levi said, void of any humor.

“Relax, dude. It’s a compliment.”

Parker took a few practice swings. It had been awhile since she’d played golf. Releasing a deep breath, she pulled back and swung.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ziek shook his head. “Levi, you brought a sandbagger. This is bullshit. She just out drove everyone but you, well …” He squinted. “I can’t tell. It’s close. She might be ahead of you.”

As Parker returned her driver to the bag and hopped in the cart, everyone—including Levi—gawked at her.

“What?” She shrugged. “We have golf courses in Iowa too.”

*

Four and ahalf hours later, they sat in the clubhouse drinking beer.

“We got our asses kicked by a girl today.” Kev shook his head and tipped back the amber bottle.

Parker smiled at Levi. He rolled his eyes, but it didn’t stop his grin from making an appearance. “I think she’s been holding out on me.”

She shrugged. “I may have worked at a golf course over the summers during high school and three summers in college.” Volleyball was her first love, but golf quickly turned into her favorite hobby. However, it had been years since she’d played.

“Girls and their secrets. Levi, you really know how to pick ’em.” Trace winked at Levi.

Levi frowned, avoiding eye contact with Parker.

“What am I missing?” she asked.

The guys all looked at Levi. He stared at the table. She recognized the fear in his face—the truth waiting to come out at the worst time.

“I don’t need to know. I’m not used to being in the know anyway, so …”

Levi cringed and looked up at her. She wasn’t trying to guilt him with her past. But from the pain on his face, she knew that’s what she’d done.

He sighed. “We used to golf at a private club, years ago. Until I had a relationship with a younger girl. Her name was Haley. She said she was nineteen. I was twenty-three at the time. I found out later that her father owned the club. The same day he threatened to have me arrested for statutory rape. His daughter was seventeen. He agreed to let it go after she told him that she lied to me and after I agreed that neither I nor any of my friends would golf at his club again.”

“Kev gave Haley his phone number before we got kicked off the premises. Told her to call him on her birthday.” Trace laughed. “She did too. We’re pretty sure she’s fucked most of the male club members by now … maybe a few of the female ones too.”

“Thanks, guys.” Levi stood. “I’m so glad we ran into you today.” He couldn’t hide the anger in his voice, even behind the heavy dose of sarcasm. “Let’s go.” He held out his hand.

Parker took it. “It was nice meeting you.” She smirked at his cackling friends.

“Wish we could say the same, but you kicked our asses today. So … don’t come back.” Ziek grinned.

Levi led her to his SUV and opened her door. She hated the awkwardness that had been between them since the very first mention of Haley’s name.

“Hey …” she grabbed his arm before he shut her door.

He wet his lips and pressed them together, releasing a slow breath through his nose while looking at his feet.

“That was a decade ago. So what. I didn’t need to know. I’m sorry I said anything to begin with.”

Levi still wouldn’t look at her.

“If it’s any consolation, I was sixteen when Haley was seventeen. Had I met you then, I would have probably lied too if it meant being with you.”

Levi stepped back, giving her a quick look. “It’s no consolation.” He shut her door.

Silence dominated their ride home. Parker couldn’t figure out why it bothered him so much.

“I’m going to shower and then get caught up on some email,” he mumbled, giving Rags a few quick pats on his side as the excited canine greeted them.

“Want me to join you?”

Levi walked toward the bedroom. “Would you take Rags outside?”

That was a no. Parker tried to not let it bother her. But it did.

*

When Parker andRags returned, Levi was in his office with the door shut. The door was partially glass so she could see him. But it was the first time she’d seen it closed. Instead of pushing him for answers, Parker took a shower and slipped into the red dress she wore for their first date. Foregoing the sexy high heels, she slipped on her navy Chuck’s—the ensemble said sexy but playful.

“I’m thinking that tapas place tonight. What do you think?” She closed the door behind her, hoping it hadn’t been shut to keep her out.

He closed his laptop and leaned back in his chair. “You should go without me tonight.”

“Without you?”

Levi nodded, rolling his lips between his teeth, eyes set on the desk between them.

“Well, it’s a nice restaurant. I think it will feel weird going there by myself. I’ll just make us something here.”

“No, you should go.”

She grunted a nervous laugh. “Are we still talking about the tapas restaurant? Because you’ve been off all afternoon, and I don’t want to push you to tell me anything you don’t want to tell me. But now that you seem anxious to not be around me, I’m getting that backed into a corner feeling, and it’s not a great one.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Well … I guess I want to know what’s wrong.”

“Do you need to know?”

Parker had to remind herself that it was Levi. Had any other guy been that evasive, she would have been packing her bags. “I don’t know, Levi. Do I need to know?”

“I don’t really think so.”

She nodded. Maybe she did need to pack, not everything, but just a few things for a visit back home—without him. “My mom wants to see me. I think it’s time I go home for a visit.”

He shrugged. “I can’t stop you.”

“Why would you want to stop me from visiting my family?”

“I didn’t say I did.” His jaw clenched.

It was still in the nineties outside but the air around Levi dipped below freezing.

“I’ll see if I can get a flight out tomorrow or the following day.”

Levi opened his computer. “I’ll book it. You don’t have the money.”

“Jesus …” she whispered, feeling the tip of his knife nick her heart.

He gave her a quick glance. “I didn’t mean it like that. You know better.”

“I have enough money to buy my own fucking ticket.” She tried to keep from crying.

Levi pounded the keys for a few more seconds. “Done. You fly out at four-thirty-five tomorrow afternoon—first class.” He shut his computer again and ran his hands through his disheveled hair, resting his elbows on the desk.

“I love you,” she said in a small voice.

He kept his head down, hands fisted in his hair.

“I love you,” she said again. Gus was right. Love required nurturing. Parker didn’t care. She would nurture the living hell out of the love she had for the man sitting before her.

Levi nodded a bit as if that’s all the acknowledgment she needed.

“I love you.”

He looked up, frustration etched on his face.

“I love you.” She had a point to make and nothing would keep her from making it.

“I heard you.”

“I love you.”

“What are you doing?” He sighed, releasing more frustration.

“I love you.” She stepped toward him.

“Parker …”

The pain in his eyes scared her. She wanted to turn and run, but she didn’t. “I love you.” She pulled up the skirt to her dress just enough to straddle his lap.

He swallowed, diverting his eyes to the other side of the room. His hands moved to the arms of the chair.

“Look at me.”

After a few seconds, he looked at her.

“I love you.”

“Haley was pregnant.” He waited for Parker to react.

She didn’t.

“Those regrets from my past? This is at the top. I never told my friends because they didn’t ask. They didn’t ask how her dad found out we’d had sex. They didn’t ask where I was the day her dad made me take her to the doctor to terminate the pregnancy. She asked me if I wanted her to keep the baby. I said yes. Then she asked me if I loved her.” Levi cleared his throat, eyes red with emotion.

Parker knew the answer. She knew the outcome. It was all over his face. “I love you.”

He shook his head. “Why do you keep saying that?”

“I love you.”

“Stop it.” He gripped the arms of the chair.

“I love you.”

“I killed my child because I didn’t love its mother!”

Parker blinked sending tears down her cheeks. “I love you.”

“Jesus, Parker! What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to forgive yourself, and then I want you to love me back.”

Gasping for his next breath, or maybe a shred of control, Levi narrowed his eyes and a blink later he grabbed her face and kissed her with the passion of someone drowning and grasping for that one lifeline.

He yanked up her dress, even more, probing his tongue into her mouth with an urgency like it pissed him off he couldn’t kiss her any deeper. Keeping his mouth attached to hers, he pushed his computer aside sending a stack of papers onto the floor. Then he lifted her onto his desk. He fumbled for the tie to her halter top dress as she grabbed for the button and zipper to his shorts.

As soon as her dress fell below her breasts, he gripped them, kneading them until she arched her back, breaking their kiss. “Levi …”

She released him from his briefs and stroked him. He hissed in a breath, leaving one hand on her breast. His other hand grabbed the crotch to her panties and pulled it to the side as she guided his erection to that very spot.

“Stop.” He pulled back a fraction. His hand on her breast moved to the back of her neck, and he rested his forehead on hers. “I love you back,” he whispered through ragged breaths. “I love you back so fucking much I’m certain it’s the only thing I have ever done in my life that’s one hundred percent selfless. But this isn’t us. I don’t want to have pissed-off-at-the-world sex with you.”

“Levi …” She panted, holding tight to his cock. “I kinda need this to happen.”

He nodded, still leaning into her forehead with his. “Agreed.” He laughed a little. “But it’s I-love-you sex. I-need-you sex. My-whole-fucking-world-revolves-around-you sex.”

“Agreed.” Parker grinned and stroked him a few times, attempting to bring him closer.

“But, babe …” Levi grabbed her hips and slid her off the desk to her feet. The pain in his eyes transformed into something feral. “It’s still desk sex.” He turned her toward the desk, pressing his hand on her back until she bent forward resting her cheek against the smooth wood. Her hands gripped the edge next to her head.

“Levi …” she whispered breathlessly as her heart pounded in anticipation.

“Shhh …” He eased off her panties, ghosting his lips along the back of her legs and over the curve of her ass.

“Fuck!” Her muscles clenched. “Did you just bite my ass again?”

He chuckled while his tongue glided over the spot. As he stood, he lifted her right leg and plunged into her. Bending over her back, he whispered in her ear, “My whole … fucking … world.”

In a matter of seconds, Levi took something ugly and heartbreaking and turned it into something beautiful and soul-shattering.

Parker didn’t love him for his perfections; she loved him for his flaws that begged for a second chance—that vulnerable part of his soul searching for its place in the world. She wanted to be that place.