Becoming His by Mariah Dietz
Sleeping alone should be comfortable and restful; Max is a bed hog, always wrapping his arms around my waist, braiding his legs with mine, and burying his face in the crook of my neck so I hear his deep breaths all night. Tonight I can move and pull the blankets on without Max complaining because he’s always too hot, but not having the heat and strength of his body beside me leaves me feeling bare and exposed. I roll to the edge of my bed in a tight fetal position, clutching a pillow trying to will sleep.
After fidgeting and moving around for what feels like hours, I give up and decide to go seek out Kendall. I’m a little disappointed she hasn’t appeared tonight. I turn on my bedside lamp and my phone buzzes nearly instantaneously, notifying me of a text. My alarm clock verifies it’s already after two so I know it’s Max before I grab it.
Max: U ok?
Me: :) Just miss you.
Max: I cnt sleep either. Come unlock the door.
I flip the covers off and silently make my way to the front door without responding. As it swings open, I’m engulfed by Max’s arms as he buries his face in my hair and takes a few deep breaths. I know in my logical mind that this is silly. We’ve only been apart a couple of hours and I’ll be seeing him in a few more. This dependency is ridiculous, but my heart pushes logic away, and I wrap myself around Max and absorb his warmth.
He silently leads me back to my room in a pair of baggy sweatpants that hang low on his hips in a tantalizing fashion, along with a tight white V-neck T-shirt that stretches across his back muscles. Pulling my back to his chest, he brings my sheet over us, followed by a blanket, with a sense of familiarity that it doesn’t seem he should have since he’s only slept here once before.
“Where are your keys, babe?” he whispers, running his fingers through my hair as he pulls it from my neck and shoulder, making room to press his face against me.
“In my purse on my desk,” I answer, suddenly feeling exhausted with the comforting weight and warmth of Max. “I love you, Max.”
“I love you too,” he says softly. “So much it hurts.” I feel the heat of his lips press against my neck and let out a deep breath as I fall further into him.
The next morning I wake up feeling a silent panic radiating through me, not because I fear being caught with Max in my bed again, but because my leg moves easily without having to unlock from Max’s grip. My body lurches up and I look around my empty room, and let out a deep sigh when I confirm what I already know: Max is next door.
Kyle and Mindi are the first to arrive as my dad and I cook breakfast. Dad goes out to help get the girls organized as Kyle takes a short reprieve, likely from Mindi.
“Hey!” I cry, throwing a kitchen towel at him.
Kyle’s face turns up in an innocent grin, the same one that both of his daughters know how to emulate perfectly. “We like our coffee the same way, and you’re my sister,” he says, setting my coffee mug back on the counter.
I simply shake my head in response. Kyle’s a bottomless pit. You have to watch food as well as drinks in his presence. I turn the griddle pan on to heat up for the pancakes, looking out the window to see where Mindi and Dad have gone. They’re in the driveway talking with our neighbors, the Fields, as they go on their morning walk with their poodle Grizzly.
“So, I overheard something last weekend.” I turn at Kyle’s apprehensive tone, and see his long body leaning against the kitchen counter, his ankles and arms both crossed.
I eye him curiously. “Who did you overhear?” I ask, grabbing a large mixing bowl and turning to the fridge for some ingredients.
“I heard you tell Max that you love him.”
I set the ingredients down and turn to look at Kyle, knowing that there’s more.
“I have to say, it scares me a little. You’re really serious about him, aren’t you?”
I feel an edge of awkwardness between Kyle and me; not because I doubt my feelings for Max, it’s more that Kyle knows my reluctance to use words like love without meaning them. In many ways Kyle probably knows me too well.
“I do,” I answer. Kyle’s soft blue eyes stare intently at mine. It’s a similar one to the one that I receive from Max, like they’re reading my very soul. “So stop telling him you’ll punch him for coming around,” I tease in an attempt to lighten the mood.
Kyle snickers and bounces his leg a few times to an imaginary beat that only he hears, displaying a nervous habit that he’s always had. “Good, I’m glad he remembers that!” he says, pushing off the counter.
“Really though, I’m glad that you found someone that makes you so happy. You’re different with him. You seem happier, less consumed with trying to make everyone else happy.”
My mind begins churning with his words.
“Hey,” Kyle says, grabbing my hand, “that’s not a bad thing. I’m glad to see that you’re happy. We all are. He brings out a side of you that I just don’t see very often. You seem more carefree, braver. It’s good, I just…” he takes a deep breath “…I don’t know, I’m just being stupid. You’re my little sister and one of my best friends. It’s just weird. I’ve never seen you very serious with a guy. With Max it’s different. You look at him different, you act different with him, and I just feel like a sentimental asswipe.”
I wrap my arms around Kyle’s waist in a hug. “I love you too,” I say, burying my face in his shoulder.
“I love you too, Ace,” he says, constricting his arms tighter around my back. “I will kill him if he hurts you.” I nod into his shirt, smiling into the cotton.
Overly stuffed and feeling drugged from our food coma, Jenny, Kendall, and I sprawl out on the family room floor in the basement, giggling and talking about boys. I suggest that Jenny should meet my Philosophy teacher knowing that after spaghetti night nearly two months ago, Jenny deleted every last trace of Paul from her life. She immediately refuses, informing us she has no intentions of dating anyone any time soon. I’m not surprised. Paul could make any woman swear off men. Not ready to admit defeat, I Google him on the school’s website and find a small profile picture of him.
Kendall glances over my shoulder and grins. “That’s who teaches Philosophy? No wonder there was a waiting list! I want him to teach me a thing or two.”
“Let me see,” Jenny concedes.
I toss her my phone and she stares at the screen for a couple of moments, looking thoughtful before her lips creep up in a smile.
“How are you going to set me up with your teacher?”
I smile in victory and give a small shrug. I really haven’t thought that far ahead yet, honestly I’m not even sure that he’s single. I briefly consider how to pose a question to find out without making it look like I’m interested in him, because that would make things really awkward.
“I’m not sure yet, but I have to go. It’s nearly midnight, which means it’s Max’s birthday!”
“What are you going to do?” Kendall asks with a wry smile.
“Go see him.” My sisters both laugh and shoot jokes to my back as I leave.
When I quietly open Max’s bedroom door I see his silhouette illuminated from the dim moonlight pouring through the open window by his bed that looks out to my room. He’s sprawled out on his stomach, his bare shoulders slightly rising with each of his heavy breaths.
I silently cross the room to his bed and lean over Max’s broad frame and softly press my lips between his shoulders, creating a trail of kisses ending with a soft bite to his shoulder.
“Mmmm, Ace.” He moans as his hand snakes out and grasps my thigh while I place a hand on the bed and gingerly climb up and straddle his lower back. His eyes remain closed as I lean closer to him, running the tip of my nose up his jaw line to his ear.
“Happy Birthday, Max,” I whisper against his ear.
A smile forms on his lips and his hand squeezes my thigh. “You’re the best birthday present I could’ve imagined,” he says softly, his voice deep from sleep.
I kiss along his neck, absorbing the heat of his skin that radiates his spicy, sweet scent. He gives a soft groan in response, his muscles clenching, notifying me that I have his full attention.
“Want to go do something crazy?” I whisper between kisses.
“With you? Yes.” He shifts, rolling over to face me, as his beautiful blue eyes finally open with a gleam of excitement.
“You look like you already have a plan in that head of yours,” Max says, reaching forward with both hands and placing them on my thighs. I nod and give him a seductive smile that makes his eyes open wider.
“Let’s go!” I whisper, quietly sliding off of the bed and making my way to the door.
“I need to get dressed,” Max says, sitting up and letting the blankets fall from him revealing a pair of dark mesh shorts hanging slightly lower than the band of his boxer briefs.
“No, you don’t.”
Max ignores me and grabs a T-shirt from his closet and reaches toward his dresser. I grab his hand before it closes around his keys and wallet and shake my head, indicating he doesn’t need them either. He looks reluctant but I tug his arm and he quietly follows me downstairs to the front door that I unlock.
“How’d you get in?”
“You really need to fix that latch in the sunroom,” I say with a grin as I lead us over toward the gate that goes into our backyard.
As I reach for the latch Max grips my arm and firmly pulls me to him so we’re chest to chest. His face is soft and he’s looking at me as though I’ve just done something significant, and earth-altering.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” I push up on my toes so I can place a kiss on his lips.
“For choosing me.”
My face breaks out in a grin as I kiss him once more. “Always you,” I whisper and kiss him again.
“Come on.” I interlace my fingers with his and open the gate, leading him to the dimly lit backyard. We stop in front of the blanket I had laid out, along with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses, a crème brûlée I had picked up at an Italian restaurant on Wednesday, and a small wrapped box.
“Come on, let’s take a drink. It’s necessary for crazy.”
“You did this for me?”
“I wanted to be the first to celebrate with you,” I answer, pouring some amber liquid into each glass and handing him one.
“You don’t like whiskey.”
“But you do, and this day is all about you.” I throw back the shot and blink a couple of times to fight the burning sensation that always bites more than licks. I smile as he shakes his head and then takes his own shot.
“What are we doing?” he asks as I take his hand in mine and lead him further into the yard.
“Going swimming.” Max looks at me trying to read my intentions. “Naked.”
“Ace …” Max quietly starts in protest.
I smile and lift the black tank top I’m wearing and toss it in the direction of a patio chair, not waiting to see where it lands before taking a few steps back toward the pool wearing a royal purple lace bra. Max shakes his head again and I can tell he’s debating with himself about objecting as I start shimmying my jeans down my legs, tossing them over in the direction of my top.
“Ace, let’s go back to my room.” I hear the defeat in his voice as he says the words he thinks he should.
I shake my head, still smiling at him as I reach behind my back. My fingers tremble slightly as I finger the clasp of my bra. I’m thoroughly impressed that I’ve made it this far, especially since Max hasn’t moved a muscle since he saw my intentions. I’m not sure if he’s caught up in the moment, or just doesn’t believe that I’ll go through with it. I slowly let my bra slide down my arms and fall to the ground before I hook my thumbs into my matching underwear and push them down my legs.
People always say to enjoy your body when you’re young and it’s toned and in shape, before gravity, kids, and stress work against you. That’s much easier to say when you’re forty looking back, rather than twenty standing stark naked in front of your ridiculously hot boyfriend.
Max stares at me for a few long moments, and then a small smile flashes on his face and he pulls off his T-shirt and tosses it toward my discarded items.
I lower myself into the warm water that feels cool as it laps against parts of me that have always been covered and turn to see Max slide into the pool, completely naked. My smile grows in my first successful planned dose of crazy.
“Your dad is going to kill me!”
“They both sleep with ear plugs, and their room faces the street.”
Max shakes his head again, as if he’s trying to push unwanted thoughts out before swimming toward me. As he gets close, I plunge down into the water and swim away. When I surface I turn to look over my shoulder and see Max looking at me with an amused grin.
“Great view,” he says, his smile growing.
I splash water in his direction. There’s no way I could reach him from the distance between us, but he takes my bait and swims toward me. I grin and swim in the opposite direction, heading to the shallow end.
“Is this foreplay?” he asks, emerging from the water.
“Isn’t there something that people say about building the anticipation and delayed satisfaction?”
Max dives beneath the water before the word anticipation fully leaves my lips and appears in front of me within seconds, locking his arms around my waist.
“I’ve lived across from you, watching you swim in this pool for years. The anticipation is about to kill me.” A small laugh escapes my lips as Max’s hands slowly travel down to explore my body as he seals his lips with mine. I don’t even realize that we’ve moved until I feel the wall of the pool against my shoulders. Max’s kisses turn more heated and greedy.
“Seriously, when we get home I’m going to bend you over my bed and take you from behind so I can see your perfect ass while I make you mine.” Max breathes in my ear and then slowly slides a finger inside of me, hitting my ache and sending a shiver through my entire body.
I don’t know if it’s his words, or the smoldering look in his eyes, or what he’s doing with his skilled hands that makes me feel unhinged, but I suddenly need Max more than I’ve ever experienced. I wrap my arms tighter around his neck and attempt to thread my fingers in his short hair. The sensation against my fingers has me reeling as my legs lock around his waist.
“Max, I need you,” I beg, kissing him hard. I feel the smile on his lips as his fingers continue their ministrations and realize that he knows what he’s doing to me; he knows he has me going half crazy. I deepen the kiss further, sliding my tongue against his, scraping my short nails against his shoulders, as I press myself against him, trying to merge us into one being rather than two.
I know instantly when Max isn’t able to continue the teasing as a groan bubbles up from his throat and his fingers clench around my thigh. His hand moves from my center, and he grips my other thigh, lifting me a little higher so I’m wrapped around his belly, making me groan in protest.
“Please, Max?” The words come out in a breathy whimper. I should be mortified by the sound, but I’m too far gone to care right now.
“Please what?” He growls.
“Fuck me,” I whisper.
He groans again and his hooded eyes turn darker and focused as he grips both of my thighs and pulls me down. With one thrust he’s inside of me and my entire body relishes in the sensation. A sigh escapes my lips, and my fingers dig into his shoulders as he does it again and we get lost in our desires for each other as he makes me his.
As we come down from our high, my legs remain loosely wrapped around Max, my head resting on his shoulder. My eyes feel heavy from bliss rather than exhaustion as I savor the way his body feels against mine. I breathe in his scent as his hands continue to run lazily along my spine while his lips softly brush against my hair.
“Happy birthday, babe,” I whisper.
“This may go down in history as the best crazy moment of my life.” I let out a small laugh and kiss his neck.
“I love when you laugh. There are few greater sounds.” Max’s baritone voice rumbles against my ear and my chest.
My head tilts. “What sounds are greater?”
“The sounds you were making just a few minutes ago.” His hand drops to my backside and he squeezes once. This time his confession makes me blush slightly, though it fills me with a sense of pride.
“I have to get you to bed. You’re going to be up late tonight. Let’s go have some dessert.”
“Up late listening to more of your beautiful sounds?” His lips bury in my neck, caressing the skin with his lips as the short bristles along his jaw scratch my skin causing an erotic need to run through me.
“If you’re not too exhausted,” I say, releasing my legs from his waist and holding his arm with mine as we wade to the shallow end of the pool.
“I’ll never be too exhausted,” he promises as we climb out and wrap ourselves in towels before heading over to the blanket where we cuddle together as the cool November night air hits our bare skin.
We lie like this for several long moments, neither of us saying anything, and stare up into the sky, the faint scent of chlorine dancing off of our skin as we entwine our bodies.
“I don’t think this moment can ever be topped. I wish we could stop time right now or just slow it down so we could stay here longer.” Max’s quiet voice wraps around me in a hug as my hand traces slowly over his abdomen.
“You make me believe in soul mates,” I whisper.
“That’s because you were made for me to love. I’ll never get enough of you. I could be with you every moment of every day for the next thousand years and it wouldn’t be enough.”
We sit there a few moments basking in our love, allowing the emotion and sentiments to be properly savored.
“I have something for you,” I say, sitting up and grabbing the small wrapped box and handing it to him.
“I don’t want any wrapped gifts, unless you’re going to put a bow on yourself.”
I smile and shove it a little closer. “You already have me.”
He slowly takes the box from my hands and opens it, revealing a watch. He’d had a watch that he broke when we’d gone camping for Jameson’s birthday. When I saw this nearly a month ago it reminded me so much of him with the dark metal and the white face that was so masculine and cool, but had an edge of sexiness, it was undeniable even in a box.
“This is perfect.” His eyes look at my face, and I feel my insides flutter with happiness at his genuine excitement. Max quickly takes it out of the box and pulls the small tab out.
“What are you doing?” I ask as he slides it on his wrist.
“Stopping time,” he answers, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me back down on the blanket where he holds me securely to him and kisses my lips and whispers thank yous and compliments as he strokes my hair and treats me like I’m fragile and sacred.
Eventually I pull away and sit up, knowing that it’s already way later than I expected to keep him up. “Come on, birthday boy,” I say, standing up, “you have to go to bed or you won’t enjoy the rest of your day.”
“It doesn’t matter what else happens today, not after this.” I smile and tug on his reluctant arm that I know could easily haul me back down but doesn’t. He stands up and accepts the small dish of crème brûlée that we didn’t get around to eating and walks me to my door where he kisses me once more before softly skimming the right side of my face with his thumb.
“I love you, Ace.”
“I love you, Max.” His eyes focus on mine for a second before I reach up to kiss him once more on his slightly swollen lips.
“I’m done with these home visits. I hate not having you in my bed.”
“Tomorrow!” I answer resolutely. “Now go have some sweet dreams of me!”
“Always,” he replies with a growl before kissing me once more and swatting my backside as I disappear inside.