Sleet Sugar by S.J. Tilly

CHAPTER SIX

IZZY

I wake up flailing, startled by my ringtone.

My sleep last night, once I returned home in the middle of the night, was fitful at best. That in itself isn’t unusual, but it’s extra annoying right now because the few hours I spent sleeping in Zach’s arms were some of the most restful I’ve ever had. I don’t know if it was the sex, having his warm body draped over mine, or some combination of the two. But if there was a pill version of that kind of sleep, I’d get myself a prescription ASAP.

I scoop my phone off the nightstand a moment before the last “Oh” in my Hockey Song by Zombie Nation ringtone.

“Hello?” Yikes, my voice is scratchy.

“Isabelle? Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine, Daddy. You just woke me up.”

“Woke you up? It’s past noon. Are you sure you’re feeling okay? I could stop by with some soup or something, if you need it.”

Past noon? Well, shit. Maybe I slept better than I thought.

“No, really I’m fine. Just a late night is all.”

“Oh, yeah?” I can hear the excitement in my dad’s voice. “I’m so glad you’ve made friends with those sweet girls. It’s good for you to be out having fun like a girl your age should.”

“'A girl my age?' Daddy, I turned 30 this summer.”

“I know.” He huffs. “I’m proud of you is all I’m trying to say.”

I cringe, since I wasn’t actually out with the girls last night. I was having mind-blowing sex with a stranger.

And now I’m thinking of sex while on the phone with my dad, and I have to suppress a shudder.

“Were you just calling to check in, or did you need my help with something?”

“Nothing pressing. I wanted to see if you’d be free to join me for lunch on Monday. I have a few meetings in the morning, but - if you wanted to meet me at the office - we could head out together.”

I rub some more sleep from my eyes. “That’d be great.”

“Good.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “I know you’ve been busy with your fancy new career, so I appreciate you making time for your old father.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re a helpless old man alright.” I hear him chuckle. “I actually have a few meetings at the practice offices myself, so lunch would work perfectly with my schedule.”

“Wonderful. I’ll see you then. Love you, Peanut.”

“Love you, too. Bye, Daddy.”

Groaning, I grab my stuffed Sleet Yeti mascot and bury my face in his fuzzy white fur.

I push away the guilt I feel at letting my dad think I was with the girls last night. My dad and I have always been close. He was my best friend for most of my life. Honestly, that was true up until last year when I became friends with Meghan, Katelyn and Steph. But as close as we are, sex is not a topic I want to talk to my dad about. Like never ever. Especially not casual, one-night-stand sex.

When my past relationships failed, I just told him that it didn’t work out. I never divulged the details about how both of those guys were using me to get to him. If I did, he would’ve somehow turned the blame onto himself, and I didn’t want him feeling culpable over something that was not his fault.

I know some people think it’s weird that we’re so close. And I’ve seen the sideways looks that I sometimes get when people hear me, a gown adult, call him Daddy. But I’ve learned to ignore it.

When I was four, my mom left us. She and my dad were never married; they had only just started dating when she got pregnant. I think they tried to make it work, but Dad doesn’t like to talk about her.

She never said anything to me before she left, but I overheard her and my dad fighting. I was too young to understand all of it, but I heard enough to get the big picture. She didn’t want to have a family. She was too young to be a mom. She didn’t want to be a coach’s wife. She hated moving around all the time. I think she went back down south somewhere. I know she grew up in Texas, but I don’t know where.

Of course it hurts that she didn’t want me. Didn’t want us. But if she couldn’t put the time in to care about me, then I wasn’t going to put the time in to be sad about her.

We were partners in crime even before she left us, so after she was gone our bond grew even tighter. It wasn’t always easy, but my dad gave me a great childhood.

I can still remember the day in 3rd grade when he came to pick me up after school and my classmates heard me call him Daddy. The next day I was teased mercilessly for being a baby. When I got home that night, I called him Dad for the first time ever and his eyes got as sad as they had when mom left. From that moment forward, I vowed to always call him Daddy, other people be damned.

When I got older, I was able to recognize that he was just sad about me growing up. He would’ve been okay with whatever I called him.

Thankfully, we moved again at the end of that school year, so I didn’t have to put up with the teasing for long. I go back and forth on what I call him when I’m talking to other people, but when I’m talking to him, I always call him Daddy. If someone cares about me enough to know the story, then they won’t tease me. And if they don’t care to know me well enough, then screw them. Meghan has gotten me firmly on the F- The Haters band-wagon. Life is too short to deal with bullies.

A couple of months ago, I told the girls the whole detailed story. We’d been drinking and by the end of it, they were all crying, we were all hugging, and then we drunkenly called our parents to tell them how much we loved them. It was pathetic. And it's one of my most favorite memories.

I’m about to finally roll out of bed when my phone rings again. It's Meghan calling; I smile.

“Good morning, Meghan.”

“Is it?” She says suggestively. “Or is it the afternoon? You sex kitten, you.”

This is Meghan. She can’t see me. And yet I’m blushing.

My lack of answer must worry her.

“You did have sex, right? Or was he super fucking weird? Damnit, he was a fucking weirdo, wasn’t he? I knew he was too hot. It’s okay, we can try again. We’ll pick a nerd next time.”

I start to laugh. “Reign in the crazy, girl. We don’t need to try again.”

“Does that mean what I think it means? Did you get laid last night?”

“Yes!” I squeak.

“YEEHAW!” Meghan yells so loud I pull the phone away from my ear and change it on speaker. “Way to ride him, cowgirl!”

I don’t even know how to respond to that. Meghan, of course, reads into my silence.

“Wait, oh my god, did you literally ride him cowgirl style? Holy shit, that’s amazing!”

“What, no!” I slap a hand over my face. “That’s not what we did.”

“Ugh, don’t tell me he was lame in bed. Did it suck? Wait, no, with his looks it couldn’t suck, but it could have been just okay. Was it just okay?” She keeps going like a loony person.

“Meghan.” I try to get her attention.

“Details, woman! Give me some fucking details!” Meghan is starting to sound annoyed with my lack of sharing.

“Okay, okay, chill your tits. It was really good.” My mind flashes back to the moment he pressed into me against the wall. “It was really, really good.” My voice sounds a little breathy, even to me. Crap.

“Oh baby! You just got all hot and bothered remembering it, didn’t you? Hold on.”

And then she’s gone. Like totally silent. I think she put me on mute. What a brat.

I take this reprieve to start my morning ritual. Even though it’s after noon, I still need to start my day out with coffee.

Scooping out my grounds, I inhale the delicious smell. Coffee is my biggest vice. Well, one of them. I love everything about the process of making and consuming the beverage, but I do not love drinking it black. I use about a third of my mug space for flavored creamer. Probably doesn’t help with my weight struggles, but straight up bean juice just isn’t my thing.

My pot is about halfway through brewing when Meghan comes back on the phone.

“Izz, you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Perfect. I have Katelyn and Steph on the line.”

“What?!” My voice comes out an octave higher.

“Hey Izzy!” Katelyn’s chipper voice says, followed by Steph’s, “Hey!”

“Umm, hi guys. What’s going on?”

“You, dummy.” Meghan sounds incredulous. “I could tell this story was gonna get good. I figured it would be easier if we all heard it at the same time.”

I can hear the excitement in Steph’s voice. “I came over to have lunch with Jackson and Katelyn so the timing couldn’t be better! Don’t worry, we kicked Jackson out of the room, so he won’t hear anything. He tried to put up a fight, but when I explained to him just how graphic we get in our retelling, he left.”

Katelyn laughs, “He gave me quite a bit of side-eye on his way out. He’s probably wondering how much you guys know about him.”

Steph starts to say something but Meghan cuts her off. “Women, focus! Izzy, we need details. Like from start to finish. I know you were nervous on the way to the bar, but clearly you found a way to seal the deal.”

“You guys, this is embarrassing.” I groan. “I feel like these chats are better when we’re half drunk and not ten minutes after waking up.”

“Damn girl!” Katelyn whoops out a cheer. “He must have kept you up all night.”

I face-palm myself. “Okay, fine. Clearly you’re all going to jump to conclusions if I don’t get this over with. Just… let me do this without interruptions?”

“Hold all questions to the end, please -” Meghan says in her faux teacher voice.

“Okay.” I take a deep breath. “So, you know we were meeting at that hotel bar. The place is super funky, and when I didn’t see him, I looked around at the art. Interesting art. There was this statue of two people having sex standing up. And not like standing doggy style, but like facing each other.”

“Hot.” I hear Meghan say before someone shushes her.

“Well, I was staring at it when Zach found me. I made a comment about it being impossible and he said something about how I was spending my time with the wrong men.”

“Holy shit, he fucked you like that, didn’t he?” Steph asks, before she gets shushed.

I ignore them and keep going. “We ended up sitting at the bar, which I thought was strange at first, but then I realized how cozy you could get being side by side like that.” I let out a big sigh. “Seriously, you guys, he was so freaking hot. Obviously, I knew his face was hot, but the rest of him was just as good. He’s huge, like nearing monster status. And he’s ripped and his clothes fit him perfectly...” I sigh again. “He made me feel so small, it was wonderful. And he had this bad boy vibe going, which was totally zapping out my brain cells. I think we sat there for like two hours, just talking and looking up…” Shit. They’re going to make fun of me for this part.

“Uh, looking up what, Izzy?” Meghan sounds entirely too smug. “Were you looking up dirty things with him, while sitting at the bar?”

“Polly Pocket!” I blurt out.

There’s a beat of silence that’s quickly followed by laughter from all three of the girls.

“Are you serious?”

“Why?”

“What the hell?”

“Come on, it’s not that crazy.” I argue while they’re still laughing. “We were talking about childhood toys. He’d never heard of it. Are you bitches trying to tell me that you didn’t have Polly Pocket?” I decide to not tell them about the rollerblades. That feels like something special, and I like being the only one who knows about it.

“Okay, okay. Polly was the shit.” Meghan concedes. “Now get to the naked part.”

“You’re such a pest -” I wave off the distraction. “I really liked him, so when the bartender asked if we wanted another round, I said no. And then I asked Zach if he was staying in the hotel.”

“You did not!” Katelyn coughs out.

“Well, how else was I supposed to get from point A to point B?!” I ask incredulously.

“You mean point D,” Steph says, and the others snicker.

I roll my eyes, but that was a pretty good one. “Anyways…” I take a breath and talk as quickly as possible. “We went up to his room. We had sex. I came twice. He proved that the wall sex thing was possible. His dick was huge. It was great. I snuck out while he was sleeping. The end.”

“No.” Meghan says.

“No?”

“Yeah, no… " she repeats.

“I have so many questions,” Steph adds.

“Same," says Katelyn.

I glare at my coffee pot. “Ugh, I knew you guys would want to know too much. What are your questions?”

“Everything!” Meghan pleads. “Damnit, Izz, I’m not getting any this weekend. I need to live vicariously through you. Did he just rip off your dress the second you entered the room and nail you against the wall? I mean that’d be hot as fuck, but I want details.”

“Fine! When we got to the room…” I take a moment to think back through how it all happened and I have to stop myself from clenching my thighs at the memory. “He was very, I don’t know how to describe it. He asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this. I know I was acting really nervous, even though I was excited about it. Then he made me tell him exactly what I wanted. It wasn’t really polite since he was being pretty Alpha about it. Whatever it was, it was working. So, I pulled on my big girl panties and told him I wanted him to fuck me.” There’s an audible gasp from all the listening parties. Followed by giggles. “Needless to say, he liked that answer. He kissed me. Umm, kind of ferociously. Then he, uh, well, went down on me.”

“Good. As he should," is Meghan’s response.

“Right. So… I’d never experienced that before," I admit.

“What?!”

“Are you serious?”

“Girl!”

“I know, I know, my exes are the worst," I concede, cutting off any more outrage on my behalf. “I will say, I now understand the appeal.” There are hums of agreement. “From there, we did the wall sex. It was, well, pretty amazing. And intense. Seriously, I don’t know how we stayed upright. Well, aside from his muscles.” I bite back a moan. “Then he carried me over to the bed and we finished there.”

“He carried you?!” Meghan whistles. “That’s hot.”

“It was," I agree. “And then I of course panicked afterwards and made it weird. I mean, how are you supposed to end a one-night stand? Isn’t the point that you have sex and then leave?”

“Basically. Why, what’d you do?” Steph asks.

I’m not proud of this moment, so I cover my eyes as I tell them, like that might hide my embarrassment. “I said something about needing a minute, then I’d go.”

“Needing a minute?” Katelyn asks.

“Yeah. I was still pretty shaky and needed to catch my breath.”

“Wait - " Meghan interjects. “You were still breathing heavy? Like had you literally just finished fucking, and then you’re like okay bye?”

I don’t even have a chance to reply before she bursts out into hysterical laughter. The others not far behind.

I use their chuckle break to finish preparing my cup of coffee.

Once their laughter dies down, I continue. “You’ll all be glad to know that Zach had a similar response.” This brings on another round of laughs. “And he told me that I could do whatever I wanted but that I was welcome to stay.”

“Sorry, girl. You’re just too adorable. And as your self-appointed love coach, I’ll take the blame for that wonderful blunder,” Meghan gracefully falls on her sword. “So, what time did you sneak out of there?”

“Around 3:00. We fell asleep pretty much right away. I knew I’d wake up having to pee at some point and just planned to leave then. Clearly, I don’t know the etiquette for this sort of thing. And it seemed like the best option, rather than waiting for a weird morning goodbye.”

“I hear ya on that. I’ve snuck out in the middle of the night more than once,” Steph admits.

“Same," says Meghan. “That’s a pretty standard M.O. for me. Morning sex can be great, but the potential for that is not necessarily worth the risk of morning breath small talk. So overall, I give you an A+.”

“Thanks?” I ask.

“You should be proud. You did it. You set a goal, you worked for it, and then you fucked it. You’ve popped your secondhand cherry, and now you’re ready to go ride the waves of the dating ocean. I mean, you feel good about this, right?” Meghan sounds so confident and hopeful.

“I do. I feel great. A little sore, but still great.” They giggle. “Zach was the perfect guy for last night. He made me feel comfortable and sexy. I don’t know if I could’ve done what I did with anyone else.”

“I feel a but coming.” Katelyn hedges.

I sigh, and finally admit the feelings I’ve been ignoring since I walked out of Zach’s hotel room - “But… I really like him.”

It’s silent for a moment before Steph says, “Okay, so date him. This one-night stand plan was to get your confidence back up, so you would want to date someone. It’s not a set in stone contract.”

“That’s great and all, but he’s not from here. Remember? Plus someone who was looking for a one-night stand is probably not looking for a serious relationship. That’s kind of the whole point of hook-up apps, right?”

“Yes and no,” Meghan replies. “I see your point, but there are no rules saying that you can’t start a relationship this way. If you work well together, and the sexual chemistry is there right from the get-go, then why not?”

“Agreed -” Steph says. “Where does he live?”

“I don’t know,” I admit.

“Okayyy...” Steph drags the word out, clearly wondering how that never came up. “What does he do for a living? Maybe he comes here on business regularly.”

I already know my next answer is going to need some explaining. “I don’t know. And before you ask how I don’t know, we agreed that we wouldn’t talk about work or family.”

“Huh. I can dig that," says Meghan. “And where he lives never came up?”

“No. And since we were trying to keep the conversation away from stuff like that, I didn’t think to ask. Plus I was going into it with the one-night mindset. Him not being from here was supposed to be a perk, so I wouldn’t randomly bump into him. And before you ask, no, we didn’t share phone numbers.”

“You could still send him a message through the app,” Meghan suggests.

“I could,” I pause. “... if I hadn’t freaked out last night after I got home and deleted my account.”

“You what?!” Meghan’s exclamation crackles through the phone speakers.

“I told you - I’m not good at this!” I shout back at her. “And if he’s just in town for the weekend, I don’t want to see him again. I already like him, spending more time together would make me like him even more. Right now it’s just a bummer. If I got more attached, then I might end up in heartache territory. And I don’t need that.”

“You’re right. That makes sense. I’m sorry that this isn’t going exactly to plan. But I guess it’s better than having slept with someone that you don’t like -” Meghan offers.

“True.”

“Don’t worry, Izz,” Katelyn sounds overly cheerful. “This was just phase one. We’ll be finding you a boyfriend in no time. I’m sorry to cut this off, but I am starving, and if we don’t hurry, Jackson will eat all the food.”

We all say our goodbyes, and I’m left sitting in my kitchen, drinking my sweetened coffee, mulling over our conversation. The girls are right. I did what I set out to do, and I really am proud of myself. Not only that, I had a great time. I got to experience some new sex moves, and I’ll be that much more confident the next time I’m on a date. It sucks that I’ll never see Zach again, but I can accept that and move on. My next man-target better look out, because here I come.