One Night Bride by Marika Ray
22
Esme
The door slammed shut with a finality my brain couldn’t seem to comprehend. A roaring noise filled my ears, and I knew it couldn’t be the crash of the ocean waves outside. All I heard was static that filled every crevice in my skull, numbing me from the pain I knew I should feel at Remington leaving. My thoughts blanked out, and I just stared at the wall.
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when the door cracked open again. My heart leaped into my throat and I jumped forward like I’d been prodded by one of Oakley’s Taser guns. Maybe he was back.
Izzy’s smiling face pushed through. “Everyone—”
She startled when her gaze fell on me, opening the door fully and stepping inside. “Are you okay?”
My heart had dropped to my feet. Not Remington. He wasn’t coming back.
I sank to the floor right there in the foyer and put my head in my hands. A tidal wave of that pain I’d held at bay was threatening to cut off my air supply as it crashed. My insides heaved and I felt physically sick. I was aware of Izzy dropping down beside me and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. She murmured something I couldn’t make out. All I could think about was the hurt in Remington’s blue eyes when he stormed out. All I could hear was his words lashing at me over and over again.
Not much of a business…
Everything I’d done since I was sixteen was about growing this business. I’d barely slept the last eight years while I got everything up and running. Friends had fallen away as I poured all my time and attention into this company. I hit the million-dollar mark and even then I had goals to chase down before I could rest. Not much of a business?
This business was everything to me.
Izzy left my side at some point to return and shove a wad of tissues at my face. I had no idea what it was for until I realized I had tears streaming down my cheeks and snot getting into the mix. The gold ring on my finger felt like it was mocking me, flashing in the morning light streaming through the windows.
“Oh, honey,” Izzy murmured, rubbing my back. “Your business means a lot to you, I know. I mean, look at this gorgeous house right on the coast. Look what you’ve accomplished!”
She was trying to cheer me up, and I clearly must have been mumbling out loud, but as I mopped my face and looked around, I realized that all I really had was a broken heart. A couple of pictures posted online and suddenly my business was imploding. Remington had been right. Wasn’t much of a business if I built it on a lie that could be torn down with a few pictures.
My business was everything to me. Past tense. And that was the problem. It had been my sole focus for so long I didn’t realize that Remington had somehow snuck onto my priority list. He’d rearranged everything I thought I wanted.
“Oh my God, Izzy,” I moaned, my face dropping back into my hands. “He’s a disruptor. A paradigm shift.”
“I don’t understand,” Izzy said, her voice picking up volume as she questioned me. “Stop using that weirdo business jargon, Esme. The ring is on your finger. So…did you turn him down? Did you have a fight? What happened?”
I shook my head and straightened up, my head feeling like a ten-pound bowling ball. I probably looked a total mess. Hell, I was a mess. I didn’t blame Remington for walking away. I’d been a total jackass of epic proportions. I hadn’t even stopped for two seconds to see how my statement would hurt him. Or affect his own business. Or his parents.
I groaned. “Oh my God.” His parents. They would certainly hate me now.
“Esme!” Izzy barked.
“Don’t yell at me!” I yelled back. I needed at least one person on my side today.
“I was fishing from both sides of the pier.” At her warning glare, I explained in plain English. “I was trying to have Remington while also having a business that didn’t create space for him. I wanted to have it all, but because I wasn’t truthful, I ended up with nothing. Remington’s gone and my business is imploding online.”
Izzy’s face softened again. “Oh, honey. I’m sorry. It can’t be that bad. Maybe Remington just needed some space?”
I lifted an eyebrow while I wiped my nose. “He said his lawyers would be in touch.”
Izzy cringed. “Well, I’m sure your business will be just fine. You gotta give it time.”
I shut my eyes and steeled myself for my twin to read the online hate. “I already made TMZ. America’s coaching darling caught in a drunken wedding scandal.”
I’d probably have that headline memorized for the rest of my life. When I told the same stories over and over in the nursing home to the orderlies—because I’d have no grandchildren to come see me—I’d trot out that headline. Maybe by the time I needed dentures, I could find humor in it. I’d never find humor in losing Remington though. I’d go to my grave never telling that story. I’d simply wither away with the guilt and heartache tucked into my chest where I could take it out every so often and have a moment with my memories.
Izzy gasped, and I pried one eye open to see her scrambling for her cell phone. After just a second or two, her jaw dropped open, and I lay down on the tile. I was just going to lie here until things fixed themselves. Or a real celebrity did something stupid and everyone shifted their focus away from me. If this was a pity party, I fully intended to wallow in it. Eat my weight in ice cream. Go sign up for unemployment. Start cutting coupons. Shop at the thrift store. Hell, maybe I’d have to move back in with Mom and Dad.
“Pull yourself together.” Izzy snorted. “Mom and Dad will never let you move back in. Dad’s gotten too used to walking around in his boxers now that all the girls are gone.”
I tried to laugh, but it came out a watery sigh. I needed to get a handle on saying everything I thought out loud.
“Yes, you do,” Izzy said.
I rolled my eyes and put both hands over my mouth. There. That ought to do it.
I’d lost myself to public opinion, and now I was losing my brain.
“Oh!” Izzy gasped again.
I just cringed and thought about where I could find some earplugs. I couldn’t listen to her gasp all day as she read the drama as it unfolded. Izzy grabbed my shoulder and tried to roll me over.
“Leave me!” I said dramatically before clapping my hands back over my mouth.
“Jesus, Esme. You really do everything with one hundred percent effort, don’t you?” Izzy stood and looked down at me. “Titus just texted that Amelia’s water broke and they’re on their way to the hospital.”
My eyes went wide and my heart stopped.
“Stay here and wallow if you want, but I’m going to the hospital to see our niece being born.” Izzy spun and grabbed her keys. By the time she had the doorknob in her hand, I was on my feet.
“Take me with you.”
“What do you mean I’ve progressed too fast to get an epidural?” Amelia screamed. “That’s not part of my birth plan!”
And when I say scream, I mean shrieked at the top of her lungs. I hadn’t heard that kind of volume since we were kids and playing outside because Mom had gotten sick of us fighting in the house.
The nurse looked completely unfazed. Not poor Titus, though. His entire face had gone white.
“You’re already nine centimeters, my dear. This baby is eager to be born.” The nurse pushed a few buttons on the machine, keeping track of Amelia’s contractions. “Here’s another one. I’ll go call the doctor to come now.”
She hustled out of the room while Amelia panted, face red.
“Can I get the epidural instead?” Titus called after the nurse, grimacing as Amelia gripped his hand like a lifeline.
“You did this to me, you bastard,” Amelia growled, baring her teeth at Titus.
Mom and Dad came into the room, and Mom immediately went to Amelia to brush her hair off her sweaty forehead. Thank goodness they came when they did. Any more contractions and Amelia might divorce Titus before the baby was born.
“Sorry we’re late. Your father couldn’t find his pants,” Mom said, bustling over to the table on wheels to grab the ice chips for Amelia.
Izzy gave me a pointed look. Yeah, okay. The “moving home” idea? Scratch that.
Vee flew around the corner of the doorway so fast her shoes squeaked on the clean tile. “Please tell me I didn’t miss anything.”
She came in and dropped to have a seat on the edge of the bed like Amelia didn’t need the extra room. Oakley followed Vee into the room, standing off to the side with Izzy and me.
“I even put the light and siren on so we got here in time,” Oakley said quietly.
Dad gave her a thumbs-up, which was weird since that was definitely breaking a few rules. You can’t just put the siren on for personal stuff. I should know. I’d asked Dad to do that when we were going to be late to my piano recital in fourth grade. He’d lectured me on right and wrong for a few minutes, then flipped them on and got me there on time. His parenting style was confusing.
“Careful. You’re in the kicking zone,” Titus warned Vee out of the side of his mouth. “Ask me how I know.”
Vee hopped up and paced the room. A doctor in a white coat came in, her smile calm and confident.
“Are we ready to have a baby?” she asked the room at large.
“Yes!” we all answered. Minus Amelia, who was currently huffing and panting through another contraction.
The doctor came over to the end of the bed and had a seat on a rolling stool, lifting the blankets and doing her thing to Amelia. Us girls shifted closer to Amelia’s head. I loved my sister, but I didn’t need to see all that.
“Ten centimeters and ready to push, my dear. Well done.” The doctor smiled at Amelia, standing up and putting her hand on Amelia’s knee. “When I say push, I want you to push like your baby’s life depends on it. Got it?”
“This is it, darlin’,” Dad said gruffly. “Make us proud.”
Amelia nodded, wide eyed yet determined. Titus clenched his jaw and whispered something in Amelia’s ear. Izzy grabbed my hand and squeezed tight. I grabbed Oakley’s hand and Vee followed suit, the four of us standing in a connected line. My abused eyes filled with tears again, this time for my sister and the amount of pride I had in what she was about to do. I lost my business and my husband in one day. Yet here she was bringing life into this world like an honest-to-God miracle worker.
With each push, Mom and Titus would support Amelia’s head. Dad would cringe and bark out some sort of encouragement in the form of a phrase that made zero sense. The girls and I would lean forward collectively, like maybe we could help our sister push that much harder.
The longest half an hour later, the doctor pulled a baby into the air, her little lungs letting loose a cry louder than her mama. The doctor placed the baby on Amelia’s chest. Her skin looked purple, her head was misshapen, and she was covered in a weird film, but she was the most beautiful baby I’d ever seen. We all rushed to the bed to get a closer look.
Amelia sobbed and laughed, her tears mixing with the sweat. Mom beamed with pride as Dad hugged her from behind. Titus kissed the top of Amelia’s head over and over, looking a little green around the gills.
“Congratulations to the mom and dad,” the doctor announced before having a seat again and doing whatever had to be done down there.
Amelia covered the baby in the towels the nurse handed her, rubbing her back and cooing nonsense words to her already.
“Have you two picked a name yet?” Mom asked gently.
Amelia and Titus locked gazes before Amelia announced, “Since Mom already used up all the vowels with us girls, we decided to go with consonants. Everybody…meet Lily Susanna Jackson.”
Mom gasped. “Really?”
Everyone called her Susie, but Susanna was Mom’s proper name. And now Amelia and Titus had named their firstborn after Mom.
Amelia pulled a hand away from little Lily’s back to squeeze Mom’s hand. “You’re the best woman I know. I want my daughter to be named after you.”
Mom lost it then, burying her head in Dad’s chest while she cried. The rest of us took turns getting a closer peek at Lily. Then Amelia’s doctor had some words for her, so Titus stepped closer to intervene.
“Here. Let me hold her.”
With care, Amelia handed Lily to Titus, letting him hold their daughter for the first time. Titus held his hands so carefully, even though Lily was small enough to fit in his two palms. The look he gave his daughter was so beautiful, I stepped back from the physical pain in my chest.
I could have had that.
I saw the life I could have had with Remington flash before my eyes. We would have had children he would have gazed at with all the love in the world in his eyes. We could have built a life of kids and work and a love so great, it blanketed all our worries. He would have been the best father. He would have been the best husband.
And I had totally and completely blown it.
Wyatt popped his head in the door, startling me from my thoughts. The doctor had left and only one nurse was still in the room, helping to weigh Lily and get her cleaned up. Mom was wiping a wet washcloth on Amelia’s face, while Dad read out the menu of what Amelia could order to eat.
“Safe for me to come in?” Wyatt asked.
Oakley’s face split into a wide smile and she pulled him inside. “Come meet Lily.”
Wyatt clapped Titus on the back, peering around him to check out the new baby. My sisters were building their families while I was building a business set on quicksand. How could I have been so stupid? So narrowly focused that I’d missed the most important thing?
Becoming a leader like Dad had always been my aim. But in doing so, I’d completely missed the part where he left the job and came home to us. The family that mattered more to him than any badge or job title or paycheck. Being chief of police didn’t make him a leader worth emulating. Being a father and a husband did.
“Izzy said Remington left?” Oakley asked quietly from right next to me. Wyatt had his arm around her waist, his gaze serious.
I nodded, and she patted my back sympathetically. I was too overcome by emotion to lie. “Yeah. I pretty much screwed up everything.”
Wyatt shook his head. “Nah. Nothing is hopeless. I got Oakley shot, and she still forgave me. Go to him, E.”
Oakley nudged me. “Just apologize and mean it. We all saw the way he looked at you. That cowboy loves you.”
I shook my head, trying to bat down the hope that flared in my gut. “I don’t think it’s that easy. I hung him out to dry with no consideration for his feelings.”
Vee popped up on my other side, the little eavesdropper. “Then you better make the apology fucking good, missy.”
“Watch your mouth, Ulva Waldo!” Mom called out across the room.
Vee just rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. “Yes, Mom…”