One Night Bride by Marika Ray
23
Remington
“Cock-a-doodle-doo, fucker.”
Ruger kicked the end of my bed and I woke with a start. Every single muscle in my body ached. Not from hard ranch work like I was used to, but from driving eighteen hours straight to get home to Wyoming right before the sun came up on a new day. Shit. Felt like there was a hammer pounding away in my skull and sand jammed in my eyelids.
He placed a cup of coffee on the nightstand and had a seat over in the chair in the corner of my old bedroom. He crossed one dirty boot over his knee and sat back to study me in silence. I tried to rub some life into my eyes and sat up to grab the coffee like a life preserver thrown to a drowning man.
The first sip nearly scorched my throat, but I kept going until the caffeine hit my system. The coffee tasted bitter, kind of like my heart right now. I’d had eighteen hours alone to go over every last detail of my relationship with Esme. More than once.
“You got about ten minutes before Mom comes marching up here and demands some answers. You’re welcome for the coffee to kick-start your brain before the interrogation.”
Ruger smiled smugly. I gave him a head nod, about the only thing I could manage at the moment, and checked the time. Not even ten in the morning, though that was practically the end of the day in ranching terms.
“You going to be alright?” Ruger tried again.
I set the empty coffee mug down and got out of bed, stretching my arms above my head. My low back screamed at me and I realized driving the entire way in one go probably wasn’t the best idea I’d ever had.
“Yeah. I’ll make it,” I replied, the words scraping my throat.
He nodded. “Good. But I suggest you put some goddamn pants on before Mom gets here. Nobody needs to see your junk.”
I looked down. “I got boxers on.” But I stepped into my jeans from yesterday anyway, because he was right. I needed to have my wits—and pants—about me to deal with Mom.
The door swung open, and we both jumped. Mom stood in the doorway like a thunderclap. I wouldn’t have been surprised to see a wooden spoon in her hand, ready to beat my ass.
“You’re lucky I gave you time to sleep,” she said, stepping into the room and going to shut the door, but a heavy boot stopped her.
“Well, fuck,” I muttered, seeing Dad step into the room. I’d need to bring in some chairs if they all wanted to chat in my bedroom. “Want to invite Killam too?”
“Don’t be a smartass with me, young man,” Mom snapped, coming over to make my bed like I was still a little boy who needed help keeping his room tidy.
I gave her a kiss on the cheek as she bustled around me, which seemed to mollify her for the moment. She sat on the edge of the bed when she was done and pulled me down next to her, laying a hand on my shoulder.
“What happened?” she asked softly.
Dad grunted from the doorway where he leaned with his arms folded across his chest. I’d thought about this last night, right as I crossed the state line into Wyoming. I’d need to look my family in the eyes and tell them the truth. I’d told Esme to do it and she’d failed. I wouldn’t follow the same path.
“Mom, Dad. I don’t want to run the ranch.” I ripped the truth off like a Band-Aid. “I love this lifestyle, I really do. But it’s also not for me long term. I want to make an impact on the world in other ways. I’ve already started the paperwork for a nonprofit foundation, helping other boys like Killam.”
Dad didn’t say a word, his severe expression not even twitching at my honesty. Mom squeezed my shoulder.
“Are you sure that’s what you want?”
I nodded, hoping that she’d understand. “It really is. My heart is in it.”
Mom studied me for a minute before she answered. “Then I support you. That’s really the only reason I made that stipulation about getting married to leave the ranch. I wanted you to follow your heart. That always comes before the ranch.”
I gave her a grateful smile, feeling like half the battle was over. Then I looked over to the man who’d taught me everything. The man I was turning my back on.
“Dad?”
He pulled away from the doorway and stood tall. Ruger and I both got our statures from Dad. We were all over six feet tall and wide in the shoulders. The gray was coming in thicker on the sides of his head and the lines on his face had deepened over the years, but other than that, he looked fit as a fiddle. He’d been my hero for so long, I desperately didn’t want to let him down.
“This nonprofit is to help young boys?” he asked gruffly.
I stood, the energy I felt discussing my plans doing more for me than the coffee. “It is. I want to help more boys who don’t have parental role models become healthy men who can help shape society positively.”
Dad digested that and then let his arms drop. “Okay, then.”
“Okay?” My heart pounded faster.
He nodded. “Let’s go get some shit done and we can talk about it some more, but as long as Ruger’s okay with the arrangements, then I am too. The ranch will still stay in the family and that’s all that matters to me.”
Ruger stood up. “Fine by me. I want to run this ranch, Dad.”
Mom popped up and joined the circle. “Sounds to me like everything has worked out perfectly.”
While one part of me felt elated my family was finally on board with my business plans, a bigger part of me felt like none of that really mattered all that much now that Esme wasn’t by my side and wearing my ring. I had everything I thought I wanted, and somehow it had lost its luster once I actually had it. I felt hollow inside, which was admittedly better than the rage and hurt I’d felt the entire time I drove home. The realtor in Tahoe called to tell me I’d need to sign all the paperwork this week, and then the house would be mine. Everything was moving in the right direction.
Except the one thing that mattered.
I hadn’t heard from Esme at all. Not a call, an email, or a “go fuck yourself” text message. Every hour that went by without her reaching out just seemed to confirm what I’d suspected. She didn’t feel for me what I felt for her. She didn’t give a shit about me. Not when she slammed me publicly as a drunken mistake she made, nor when she let me leave without even trying to get me to stay.
My family didn’t ask about Esme at all for the next two days, letting me work out some frustration around the ranch while they tiptoed around the subject. I could tell Mom was about to bust a blood vessel from not asking about what happened. She kept opening her mouth like she wanted to say something, and then she’d slam it shut and go about her business. By the third day, Dad had had enough when we all sat down for dinner.
“I like having you around, Rem, but that scowl on your face is getting on my last nerve. What the hell’s going on with you and Esme?”
Mom’s fork clattered to her plate. “Oh thank God someone asked.”
I huffed out what could pass as a laugh. “Jeez, Mom. You could have just asked me before.”
She sniffed. “You always say I’m too nosy, so I was trying to give you space.”
“Space…” Ruger muttered, shaking his head with a grin.
Mom gave him a warning look, but they all settled down and looked at me expectantly. This was going to be even worse than telling them I didn’t want the ranch. I wiped my mouth with the napkin and threw it on the table. I wasn’t hungry anymore.
“Esme and I got married accidentally. One of those oopsie-daisies you think only happens in movies.”
Ruger snickered again, and if we hadn’t been at the dinner table, I would have shoved him. Hard. Granted, calling an accidental marriage an oopsie-daisy was ridiculous. As ridiculous as me thinking that marriage could actually work out.
I sighed. “I followed her back to Auburn Hill where she lives. Figured I’d stay there while we got the annulment going, but then I realized I kind of liked her.” I glanced up at Mom and prepared for the next statement. “And I figured being married would get me out of the ranch, so what was the hurry to get the annulment?”
Mom hopped out of her chair, her finger already pointing at my face. “Remington Roth. You little shit!”
“Calm down, Jules,” Dad muttered.
I put my hand up when Mom opened her mouth to tell Dad exactly what to do with his comment.
“I know, Mom, I know. Stupid, but then again, Esme was beautiful and smart and kind of the perfect wife for me had I actually been looking. So, I stayed and got to know her.”
Mom sat back down, willing to keep quiet now that I was finally telling them everything. Well, most of it, anyway. I didn’t need to get into how I’d fallen for her completely and she’d broken my heart. A man could do without that humiliation.
“And things were going well for a bit, but being married is hurting her business, so we decided to call things off. Get that annulment. In fact, I need to call my lawyer tomorrow and get that started.”
“Well, hold on a second there. Are you sure you can’t work things out?” Mom looked like she was going to cry.
This was my penance for even bringing Esme here in the first place. My punishment for trying to use a fake marriage to get my parents off my back about the ranch. It had been a bad idea to get them involved, and Esme had tried to warn me.
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
I left it at that. What more was there to say? It was over. And I was sorry. For so many things. The rest of dinner was a quiet affair, with Killam and Ruger the only two talking, even if it was only to pass the ketchup.
“As soon as possible, please. Okay, sounds good. Thank you.”
I ended the call and paced outside the barn, putting the phone back in my pocket. My lawyer sounded horrified I didn’t have a prenuptial in place before marrying Esme, but he promised to work on the paperwork later today. An annulment wasn’t possible at this point, so it would be divorce papers that were served to Esme in a couple days. He told me he’d give me a heads-up when the processor was headed to her house. Part of me felt bad about springing that on her, but then I remembered how she’d thrown me to the wolves of her social media followers.
A horse whinnied inside and I headed back in the barn to finish mucking out the stalls. Killam and Ruger came in through the other side of the barn, laughing and playfully shoving each other as they walked. Ruger had always been more of a friend to Killam while I was the older, wiser brother he looked up to. Didn’t feel like much of a positive influence these days, though.
“Hey, Rem,” Killam said as he came up to the stall I was in. “We’re all headed to Granger’s pasture tonight. You wanna come?”
“Is there going to be alcohol there?” I asked, eyeing him carefully as he answered.
His cheeks held a spot of red right in the center. “I’m sure there will be for the older folks, but not me.”
“Who you callin’ the older folks, huh?” I teased him, letting him off the hook. He’d never given me worry about underage drinking.
Ruger cut in. “Figured you might want to get out. See people. Quit wallowing.”
Anger flared hot and quick. “I’m not wallowing, asshole.”
Ruger stepped into my space. “Oh no? Then what have you been doing for the last three days? Sitting with your feelings? Journaling? Lighting a candle and having some alone time?”
His tone was pissing me off. He had no idea the shit I was processing in my head. And my heart.
I puffed up my chest and stood up straight, reminding him without words I was still taller and broader than him. “Back off, little brother.”
He shoved me in the shoulder, but I held my ground. “No. I’m not backing off. You tell some bullshit story to Mom and Dad about calling things off with Esme like you decided you didn’t like the new boots you bought and you’ll just return ’em. Easy-peasy.” He leaned in closer. “We can all see you’re hurting, Rem. So cut the shit and tell us the truth of what happened.”
I was breathing hard, pissed he’d called me on it, and pissed I was still feeling like my heart was cracking in two. Time and distance wasn’t doing a damn thing for me. I still woke in the middle of the night with her scent all around me like a ghost. I’d picture her expression when I stepped in mud and remembered her first day here on the ranch. I’d spend long minutes forgetting what I was doing because I was too busy thinking about what Esme might be up to at that exact minute. I pulled out my phone every five seconds with the urge to check all her social media pages just to have a brush with all things Esme.
“She doesn’t love me,” I bit out, feeling like I might just explode from holding it all in. “I was willing to walk away from everything, do whatever she wanted, as long as we stayed married.”
“Why?” Ruger asked, always pushing me.
My hands found my head, and I gripped the hair there, preferring that pain over the one in my chest. He wanted the truth? Fine. I’d tell him and then he could make fun of me too. Did it really matter at this point? Without Esme, nothing made much sense anymore.
“Because I fucking love her!”
Ruger grinned. I really wanted to punch the bastard in the face.
“Of course you do. We could all see that when you were here.”
I shook my head and paced the stall, probably scaring the poor mare. “No. That was all fake. We decided to act married so I could get out of running the ranch.”
Killam made a weird choking noise. “You’re not that good of an actor.”
“Exactly. You were head over ass for her even back then,” Ruger added.
I stared at them both, considering their words. They might be right. Why else would I bring my fake wife home to meet my entire family? I could have just called Mom and Dad over the phone and told them the good news about my marriage in order to get out of the ranch. Bringing her here was because I wanted more time with her. And maybe in some small nook and cranny of my brain, I thought introducing her to my family would make it all real. I wanted real with Esme the whole time.
Real wife.
Real love.
I loved Esme.
“Fuck.” I sat down on the dirt, hay poking through my clothes. The mare came over and nuzzled my arm. I stroked her nose and considered how fucking dumb I was.
“So what are you doing sitting down?” Ruger looked like he’d sucked on a lemon.
“What?”
Killam stepped forward, the legs and arms he hadn’t quite grown into flailing all around. “If you love her, go get her. Tell her that.”
I shook my head. “I did, buddy. I told her I loved her and I even proposed. For real this time.”
Ruger frowned. “She said no?”
I huffed. “She said yes and then the next day told the world I was a mistake. Is it so wrong to want your wife to acknowledge your existence?” I got agitated just thinking about it and the mare smartly moved away. “I just got out of running the ranch and doing what I wanted for the first time and then I found myself in a marriage with a woman who was trying to control me too. I had to conform myself to her narrative. Fuck that.” I picked up a small pebble and threw it between the wood slats of the stall.
“Did you talk about it? Tell her you didn’t like what she was asking you to do?” Killam sounded wiser than his seventeen years. Then again, the first half of his childhood was in a household where arguing and yelling was the only way to communicate.
I swallowed. “Yeah, kind of.”
Ruger snorted. “You yelled at her and stormed off, didn’t you?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. Fucker knew me too well.
Killam stepped between us. Not that I had any intention of hitting Ruger from down here on the ground, but that was what he always did. Killam was all about keeping the peace around here.
“Not that you asked, but here’s what I would do. Go back to Auburn Hill and put everything on the line for her.”
I opened my mouth to interrupt, and he shushed me. The little shit I’d helped raise for almost ten years actually shushed me.
“Put everything on the line for her instead of expecting her to do that for you.”
My mouth opened to argue, but his comment spun my brain in a thousand directions. Is that what I’d done? Expected her to change her whole life for me when I didn’t do the same? By staying married, I’d gain the business I wanted so badly. If we didn’t stay married, I’d still have the ranch. Really, there was nothing to lose.
But she stood to lose the one thing she valued most in life: her business.
“Fuck,” I muttered. I’d asked her to put everything on the line for me while not doing the same for her. I’d been playing it cool while she stood to lose it all.
Ruger clapped Killam on the back. “This kid is a fucking genius.”
Killam smiled, and even though I’d gone numb at the realization hitting me upside the head, I found peace in that smile. He didn’t do it often, so when he did, I considered myself grateful to see him happy.
Ruger cracked up, snorting like an asshole, but successfully cutting the tension. “You called your marriage a fucking oopsie-daisy.”
Killam barked out a laugh too. The two of them hunched over, howling over my speech at dinner last night. The edges of my mouth began to tip up despite myself. Despite the ache in my chest that was still there, it held a note of possibility too.
Maybe Esme and I were done. Maybe we weren’t.
I wouldn’t know until I talked to her like a rational adult and told her how much I loved her. Until I gave her an actual choice on how we could handle things instead of barreling in with all my own stipulations. If she still wanted the divorce, I’d give it to her. But not until I’d pleaded my case.