Accidental Neighbor by Sharon Woods

Chapter 14

Jennifer

I never thought I would have a compelling urge to see a man. But every time the bell above the door chimes at work, my gaze shoots toward the door, wishing he would be walking through it. Every time it’s not him, my gaze lowers and a heaviness enters my heart.

I also never cared about my appearance; my hair was always swept in a messy ponytail for practicality; my bare face and bland clothing suited me. But since Thomas entered my life in a regular pattern recently, I started brushing my hair every day, careful to put it in a neater ponytail, applying a few decent coats of mascara on my lashes to show off my brown eyes, and choosing clothes from my wardrobe that fit and show off my curves.

But unfortunately, I have missed his drop-offs in the last few days. This new desire coursing through my veins is foreign. I haven’t been able to shake my thoughts of how his soft pillowy lips felt against mine or how protected I felt in his arms. I haven’t felt this longing before.

The girls’ words play on my mind. ‘Get to know him, but just be careful.’

Am I ready to be with a man who has kids?

Do I want to be a stepmom?

It isn’t something I have had to think about—until now. But I need to talk to him more, get to know him. Give myself a chance to find out the answers.

Crouching down on the floor to tie a boy’s shoe, I hear Rose’s high-pitched scream, her high-pitched voice almost cracking my eardrum. My heart beats frantically at the noise. I finish with the little boy’s shoes and quickly get up, scanning the room, thinking she has hurt herself, but I find her searching around, looking for something. I raise my brows in surprise when her gaze lands on mine. I watch as relief instantly fills her eyes, but the tears still stain her cheeks, and I can still hear the loud sobs heaving from her little chest. The vision breaks my heart. I bend over and scoop her up in my arms and cuddle her into my chest.

Getting the reassurance that she is so desperately seeking, she buries her little head into the crook of my neck like I am going to disappear or leave her. The closeness she seeks is proving that she needs more time to erase the pain and fear of the loss of her mom.

“What happened, Rose? It’s okay. I got you,” I coo, trying to soothe her. I stroke her back up and down in soft, soothing strokes. I feel her erratic breathing begin to calm under my palm, and her shudders and sobs begin to ease the longer I hold her and rub my hand along her spine.

Rose has settled into the center well, but at times she is clingy. A normal two-year-old hangs on to your legs, seeking constant comfort and requesting all your attention. But Rose seeks extra cuddles and doesn’t like to be alone at all or without visually seeing a trusted adult. When I’m on shift and scheduled in the toddler room, Rose seeks me out, staying by my side the whole time. She plays with other children but is often reserved.

The distress in Rose shatters me. I need to discuss my concerns with Thomas; I can only imagine this is about their mother. I want to be able to know how to help her. I feel the energy of connection between us, and she must feel the same. She knows I want to protect her. And she can trust me to keep her safe and secure.

It’s getting close to the end of my shift and Rose is still here. I wonder what is keeping Thomas. I bite my lip with worry, roaming the now tidy room. Taking a seat on the couch with Rose cradled in my arms, I let her little body drape across my body, the back of her head lying heavily in the crook of my elbow. Rose's eyes are heavy-lidded and fighting to stay open. Her long dark lashes flutter and fan out on her cheeks. A warm glow flows through me as I watch her rest in peace.

The bell of the door startles me, and I jolt, jerking Rose in my arms, causing her little body to twitch and move. “Shhhhh,” I coo at her as her breathing returns to a normal pace. I feel the heaviness on my arm return. Footsteps stomp closer and my gaze lands on Thomas as his eyes meet mine; his chest moves as he takes a quick intake of breath. The air swirling around us is warm and thick, and I feel my cheeks turning pink with his clear, observing eyes staring at me as I cradle his daughter. My breath catches in my lungs, and I briefly glance down before meeting his gaze again slowly.

Lily is snuggled in Thomas’s arms, but his face is pale and pinched in fatigue. I gently clutch Rose closer to my body and carefully stand up, not wanting to wake her. Thomas carefully pulls Lily from his embrace and guides her to the floor. Her eyes are heavy and her little legs wobble as she attempts to stand, but her little body sags. Thomas breaks my trance by stepping over. I run my eyes from his hair down to his shoes; he is a dream. The impeccable navy tailored suit shows off his lean, broad shoulders and his slim waist. I wonder what he looks like without the suit. I tuck the thought away just as quickly as it enters my mind. But my body is still heating up, not letting me forget it. He trails close to me, his arms out.

I lower Rose’s floppy body into his outstretched arms. As he reaches out for her, his hands skim along my arms, and with the contact, all my hairs on my arms stand. I swallow hard and think of the last time I truly enjoyed myself with a guy… Let alone a man. Focus, Jen.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts in order to focus on the task at hand.

We successfully transfer Rose into his arms without waking her. He whispers to me, “I’m so sorry I was late tonight. I got stuck in a meeting at work; it went longer than planned.” His voice is full of frustration. I can see the wheels turning in his head, trying to understand the situation.

“Tom, are you okay?” My voice is laced with concern.

He exhales loudly. “Yeah, I just didn’t realize I would be expected to stay back at least one night a week, every week, and the workload is a lot more than I expected. I don’t know how I will juggle this.” He stares down at Rose, then Lily who is clutching his leg before gazing back at me.

I nod, crossing my arms to hug myself to give my arms something to do and to warm my body. I didn’t realize it had gotten cold until Rose was out of my arms. A shiver runs through my body.

“My parents can't help. I just don’t know. I really shouldn’t be dumping this on you. I should let you go home. Again, I'm sorry, Jen. I will figure something out.” He shakes his head. He walks toward the exit with slumped shoulders.

My heart constricts with pain for him. Without thought, words escape my mouth.

“I can help you.”

It’s quiet for a few beats before he answers. “I couldn’t do that to you. Working here, I'm sure you don’t want to then care for my two after hours. It's way too much. Thank you for offering anyway.” He smiles.

“No, seriously, Tom. It makes sense. I work here and you live next door. I could help you one night a week. I can talk to my boss, but I’m sure she won’t mind.”

I can see his mind ticking as he absorbs the information I have just offered. It feels like forever waiting for his reply. In the meantime, I squat down and reach out to stroke Lily's back; she is still wearing her navy and red school uniform.

“Hi, Lily. Are you tired, sweetheart?” She brings her little gaze to mine and her eyelids are blinking rapidly to stay awake. Her little head tilts but she doesn’t say anything. I straighten back up as Thomas talks.

“How about you talk to her first? And then if she agrees, we can work on the day, times, and pay. It would definitely help; the girls already know you and feel comfortable with you.” His lip turns up in a half smile.

“Okay, I will let you know on Monday after I talk to her… There was something I, er,” I stammer, trying to figure out the best way to ask without causing him pain or making the situation uncomfortable. Peering over to the neatly piled white bookshelf to my left, I try to find the right words before meeting his gaze.

“I noticed Rose is very cuddly, and if she can’t see me, she can get quite distressed. Has she always been like this? Or is this just since their mother passed away?” His jaw ticks at the mention of his wife’s passing. I swallow past the lump that’s now sitting in my throat.

He clutches Rose closer to his chest. “Yes, I have had some issues in the last few months. Rose gets overly worked up and requires lots of attention. I'm hoping once she is settled into the new house and the center, it will pass in time.”

Softly shaking my head, I say, “I just wanted to check and make sure it wasn’t new. Nothing from starting at the center.”

“Definitely nothing to do with you or the center. If it doesn’t calm down soon, I will have to speak to a doctor.” He peers down at Rose who is sleeping peacefully. My eyes rake over his sober face. It’s like he is trying to find the answers by staring at his daughter. A crack hits my heart; this vision is gut-wrenching. He is a beautiful dad to these girls.

“Well, I better let you go home. I don’t want to take up any more of your time. I’ll talk to you Monday.” His mouth curves into a small grin.

“I look forward to it.” I bite my lip to stifle a grin.

His lips part in surprise, then a smile spreads further across his face from my words.

“Me too.”

I dart my eyes away to look at Rose and Lily, avoiding his heated gaze. Taking a step forward, I raise my hand and smooth my hand down her hair. “Good night, Rose,” I whisper to her. Then I bend down and say, “Good night, Lily.”

She whispers back, “Night.”

Taking a step back, putting some much-needed space between us, I raise my gaze to meet his and I falter. His eyes are firmly fixed on mine, and my heart turns over in response to him. As I watch his Adam’s apple bob from him swallowing, the air around us crackles.

“Good night, Thomas.” My voice is deep and husky, filled with lust.

“Good night, Jen.” A grin appears on his face again before he swivels on his feet and leaves through the door. My gaze burns into his back as I watch him disappear. I remain still as the fire and breathlessness slowly dissipate, allowing me to close up.