Accidental Neighbor by Sharon Woods

Chapter 27

Thomas

Needing space to process what she just said, inside my stomach is in knots. I pace the bathroom, rubbing my fingers across my forehead, but it doesn't help, so I decide to take a shower.

I hope it will help relax me. Stepping into the large shower, the tension evaporates like the steam surrounding me. I feel a pang of guilt for snapping at Jennifer instead of talking to her, which makes my stomach twist harder.

The thought of another child to raise is a lot to ask of me. The memory of Victoria flashes under my closed eyelids, and the hot spray feels like the water turned to ice. Chills rake through my body. Reaching over, I quickly shut the water off. Ripping the towel off the hook, I dry my body with rough motions, trying to warm myself up with the friction.

It doesn't help. Stepping over to the vanity, I lean over the sink, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I'm only just relearning how to connect with a woman again—one whom I don’t deserve—and now I’m expected to think about creating another child. I drop my chin to my chest, scrunching up my face. I don’t even want another child; I'm content with my girls. Even if I consider it—I shake my head. I don’t think I could ever be ready, but maybe it's a difference neither of us can move past.

Snapping my eyes open, I lift my head up and stare at the mirror, looking at my reflection. The sad, pale face is too much to bear. I focus on grabbing a toothbrush and brushing my teeth before stepping into the wardrobe and grabbing a clean t-shirt and briefs.

I'm ready and have no other reason to stall in here anymore. I inhale a deep breath, the tension leaving my body, and my shoulders sag. I can do this. Wandering out, I pause. Jennifer's eyes are closed, her pretty youthful face in a blissful state. I lean my shoulder against the doorframe and take her in.

The covers are draped over her legs, and the t-shirt has ridden up, showing me an inch of her milky skin on her stomach. Her breathing is a steady rhythm and she looks perfect in my bed. My chest aches at the sight of her. Why do we have to want different things and why can’t things just stay as they are? It was comfortable. I was comfortable, and this information is messing with my thoughts. Ruining us.

I sigh and push off the frame, creeping quietly to the bed, lifting the covers with care so as not to wake her, and slide in beside her. I watch her for any movement, but she doesn't stir. Lowering my head on the pillow, facing her, I close my eyes and drift off to sleep easily.

In the morning my body feels hot and clammy, I try and wriggle, but something is on me. I peel my eyes open, blinking a few times, and peer down to see Jennifer’s brown hair spread over my torso and her arm thrown across my body. My lips raise upward from the vision.

I don't move; I just reclose my eyes until she stirs under me and I stare down at her. I whisper, “Princess.”

“Mmm,” she murmurs back, still in a sleepy haze. She tightens her grip on my side, making me chuckle.

“I need to get up before the girls."

It's not a good idea for them to see so much too soon. And I don't know how to answer the girls' questions. I have been closing the door in case Lily has a nightmare and decides to come in. I will hear the doorknob rattle and have time to reach her and take her to her bed and resettle her.

The girls have adjusted well to Jennifer and me dating. The small increments I show seem to be taken well by both girls.

Pain travels through my temple. I need to talk to Jennifer about our future. A shiver prickles my whole body. The whole subject doesn't sit well with me. I untangle myself from her and slide out of bed. She resettles in the bed, and I move to the wardrobe quietly and get casually dressed before tiptoeing out of the room and closing the door behind me. I trek out to the living room until I hear Rose call out. Rose and I sit and wait for Lily and Jen. Jennifer comes out next, all dressed, looking fresh and pretty. Rose’s face lights up when she sees Jennifer, and she pushes out of my arms, running for her, screaming, "Jen." As she reaches her, Jennifer scoops her up and throws her in the air, and Rose squeals in delight.

When Jennifer mentioned the thoughts on a therapist, I felt like someone punched me in the gut, but I also agree. The more I pay attention to Rose and her actions, the more I see zero improvement. It’s unfair to Rose if I don’t seek help; she can only benefit from it. I plan to call and book an appointment this week.

Lily wanders out because of the noise, but she notices Jennifer and says, "You're here," and we both laugh hard.

Jennifer answers, "Yes, is that okay?"

Lily just shrugs. "Yeah."

A deep chuckle leaves my chest. She is not bothered by anything. But I also don’t think Lily has registered that Jennifer stayed the night.

We eat some breakfast before Jennifer leaves us to go home.

When I walk her out, she asks, “Can you do dinner with my family on Wednesday? They won't stop pestering me until you do.” She laughs with hesitation.

I pause. “I don—”

“Can we go to your house for dinner? What does your house look like? Can we go now?” Lily snuck up and cut me off.

I sigh, offering a short perk of the corner of my lip. “Sure, but not now.”

“Great. I'll wait for you to arrive home, and then we can all walk over together. You might have to give me a specific time; otherwise, Mom will call me constantly on Wednesday.”

I rub my brow. “How about six?”

“Perfect.” She leans in and pecks my lips before hurrying across the drive.

◆◆◆

I hang up the work phone after scheduling an appointment for Rose. I spent the last hour sorting it out. First, I made a call to Helen, asking for recommendations. Then I researched them all before deciding on one and booking Rose in.

I refocus on a work email I need to send out to the supplier; the amount of errors with lighting supplies is impacting productivity. I have stayed behind as much as time would allow every day. But it's Wednesday and I type away in a hurry, finally hitting send before I power down the computer. Ava stands in my doorway.

"Boss, do you need something done before I go? You look frazzled as shit," Ava offers.

I laugh and prop myself back in my chair to talk to her. "No, thanks. I'm almost done and I'm out of here too. I'm meeting the parents.” I sigh aloud.

She pushes off the door and her lips pop with surprise as she ambles in and pulls out a chair in front of my desk. Sitting down, she crosses her ankles. "You're meeting the parents. That's a big deal." Her eyes roam my face, searching for something.

Blowing out the air I’m holding, I say, "Yeah, I'm taking the girls and we are having dinner at Jen’s."

Her brows rise and her head tilts. "Nice. I'm sure she is perfect. Where did you meet?"

I don't speak about my life to anyone other than the boys, but I need a girl's opinion sometimes and my mother is way too close to offer any sound advice.

I gaze out the big glass window at the sky turning darker; it looks cold outside. Returning my gaze to Ava, I answer, "At a bar."

"No way. You?" she shouts and covers her mouth with her hand.

I nod. "Yes, I know I don't go out, but it was to celebrate my promotion here."

"Ahhhh," she cuts me off.

"But I don’t know if we are suited; she wants different things in the future." And I want to add that my ex-wife died because of me, that I don’t deserve to be happy, but I don’t need to burden another person with my shit.

"That's a lot. If I didn't know you, I would say end it, but you are careful. She must be special to get to you."

I push my hair back from my head. “Yeah, I guess, but anyway, I'll have to fill you in later. I don't want to be late, so I gotta run." Standing, I pick up my keys and walk out.

She joins me, and I hear her trailing behind me. "Me too, I'll catch you tomorrow."

I nod, lost in my own thoughts. Stalking to the elevator, I enter, then hit the button to go down.

I park in the drive at home, pausing at the wheel as my heartbeat accelerates and my throat constricts. Not allowing my thoughts to wander, I shove open the door and march inside.

"Made it. Are you ready?" I call out as I enter the house. I don’t bother changing out of my suit. The girls run up to me and latch on to my legs. I hug them tight.

Jennifer is standing in front of me, so I bend over to peck her on the lips. "Yes," she answers breathlessly.

"We're going to Jen's house," Lily singsongs.

I smile as I peer down at Lily. “Yes, we are sweetheart. Let’s walk there now, okay?”

She nods. "Okay."

Scooping up Rose, I carry her on my hip as we exit the house, then I turn and lock the house before we venture next door. For a second I wish she lived farther away just to give myself time to calm my erratic heart. Jennifer opens up her front door, and I'm hit with the smell of food as we enter.

My stomach growls, remembering that I hardly had time to eat at work today.

Rose clings harder around me as I walk farther inside her family home.

As we trail down the house into the kitchen, her mom’s eyes neatly bug out of her head. She looks around at the girls and I, not stopping, just circling her eyes.

"Oh, hi," she says, her voice laced with surprise.

"Hi, Mary. These are my girls, Lily and Rose." I point to Lily, who is standing beside Jennifer, and a shy Rose, who is in my arms, her head buried in my neck.

"Hi, I'm Lily."

Mary smiles and crouches down. "Hi, Lily. It’s lovely to meet you. Are you hungry?" she asks.

"Mm-hmm," Lily responds.

"Great. I'm almost done cooking."

"Let's go in the living room for a bit," Jennifer suggests.

I nod in acknowledgment.

Her dad is waiting and watching from the living room, his body stiff and his eyes glaring directly at me. Moving toward her dad, I hold out my free hand to shake his. He glances down, and for a second I think he isn’t going to shake my hand. But he slowly extends his hand, and his firm, rough hand lands in mine in a hard shake. The glare is still written on his face.

"Hi, Paul," I firmly say.

He grunts and nods his head before returning his gaze to the television. This is not the same easygoing man I know; that guy has vanished and a stern father is sitting in his place. Not that I blame him. I would be the same way meeting one of my girls’ boyfriends. But I’m not some stranger either.

"Take a seat, Tom. Would you like a drink?" Jennifer asks.

"Water, please." Looking over at Lily who has already taken a seat on the couch, I join her, swiveling Rose to sit on the couch beside me. She is shy and isn't happy. I'm not holding her, so I wrap an arm tightly around her, keeping her close.

"I'll bring you girls' water, okay?” Jennifer spins and saunters off to grab our drinks. She has a cute smile on her face and hasn’t noticed her dad’s unimpressed glare toward me.

“Did you watch the game on the weekend?” I ask Paul, trying to break the ice that is circling us.

His eyes flick to mine and then back to the television. My body is tight and unmoving, waiting for his answer. I gaze around the family home; it has more color than mine. The kitchen is wood and white with lots of pictures on the wall and potted plants in each room.

I haven’t gone through photos since I packed them. They are still sitting in a box in the garage. I like the idea of them in the family rooms.

“Yes, I caught it. It wasn't the best game to watch.”

My shoulders sag with relief that his tone is slightly less cold and I have found something we can talk about that might help him calm down. Otherwise, it will be an awfully long night.

“I’ll pop the drinks on the table; dinner is ready,” Jennifer calls. I bounce up on my feet just to put some distance between her father and me. Swiveling, I grab each of the girls’ hands and step over to the table.

My mouth drops open. Before me is a delicious Italian spread unlike anything I have seen in a while. The girls tug my hands and I peek down. Lily spots the garlic bread. We will devour this meal. I understand now where Jennifer learned to cook.

A sharp punch to the gut hits me; my girls won’t have Victoria laughing and having fun teaching the girls how to bake and cook.

“Oh, yummy pasta and garlic bread,” Lily coos, bringing me back to earth and out of the nightmare that memories bring me.

Mary giggles aloud at Lily, while Paul comes and takes his seat at the table. I wait for directions on where we are allowed to sit.

“Please take a seat anywhere.” Her mom gestures.

I nod and take the closest seat to where I’m standing and lift Lily onto one and Rose can sit on my lap.

“Sorry I don’t have high chairs. I didn't realize the guest would have kids. Jennifer didn’t mention it. Sorry. I would have been more prepared if she had told me.” Her mom gives Jennifer a hard glance.

“Yeah, she is full of surprises tonight,” her dad spits, anger still vibrating off his body.

“I didn’t think anyone would mind; they are the cutest little surprise guests.” Jennifer helps me dish up some food for the girls before she takes a seat next to Lily and her dad. I chose to sit directly opposite him, hoping we can chat like we always do the longer we are near each other.

The front door opens and closes. My brows crease as my head tilts to see who has arrived. I didn’t know we were expecting someone else. A tall dark-haired girl enters, wearing a navy school uniform.

“Perfect timing.” She dumps her bag on the kitchen counter before dragging out a chair next to Jennifer and slumping into it. The smirk on her face aimed at Jennifer seems like they are having some kind of conversation between each other.

Jennifer huffs. “Tom, Lily, and Rose, this is my sister Megan. Megan, this is Tom and his girls, Lily and Rose.”

I smile and greet her. “Hi, Megan. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you. I would say I know about you, but then I would be lying.” Her face is aimed at Jennifer with a smirk and a pop of a brow. I roll my lips and bite to prevent a laugh from escaping.

Jennifer smacks her arm, whispering, “Shhh. Calm down. He lives next door with his girls.”

We haven’t discussed boundaries with the girls. We have only just worked out that we are not seeing other people. And I’m still unsure if we should be dating, the other night still playing on my mind. Seeing that condom broken still causes a tightness in my chest. But I want to talk to her about our future as soon as possible.

I peer over at her dad, who has already begun to eat, so I start dishing my plate.

As I am eating, Paul asks between mouthfuls, “How long has this been going on?” I glance up at him as he points with the end of his fork between Jennifer and me.

“Not long, Dad. Calm down.” She rolls her eyes with a little shift of her head.

“Jennifer, stop telling me how to feel. You, young lady, are not a parent. You’re twenty-two and have your whole life ahead of you. This—I’m sorry I disagree with; you should be living your life, not playing house. You need to travel, go out, and to be frank, live like people your own age do.”

Fuck. It feels like he just slapped me. My eyes bulge out of their sockets, and I rub the back of my neck, trying to relieve the tension that is beginning to form there. I process what he is saying as I continue to chop the girls' food and Lily begins to eat.

I’m not angry with what he is saying. He is right. I am holding her back from living like a young woman should. I can’t ruin another woman’s life.

I think I got swept up in how good she is with my girls and how much they love her that I never once stopped to think about what this would mean to her, how much she is giving up just to be a part of my life. She doesn’t know what she is missing out on because she is now tied to me.

Another major concern is that she wants her own child, an issue I can’t get over.

My head feels like it’s in a windstorm and I cannot hear the conversation around me. Just mumbles and raised voices around me let me know they are fighting. I need to get out of here. I need space to process this, and I don’t want the girls hearing or listening to this type of behavior. I drop the fork I had been feeding Rose with and clutch her in my arms and push the chair out and stand up.

Clearing my throat, I stare between Paul and Mary. “Thanks for welcoming me into your home, but I think it's best if we leave now.” My voice is stern.

I tug on Lily’s arm, and her eyes meet mine as her head tilts. “Dad, I'm not finished,” she moans.

“Oh, please don’t leave,” Mary pleads. Joining me while I stand, her hands are clenched together at her chest.

I softly shake my head, and my lip lifts slightly at the corner of my mouth. “It’s fine really. I actually agree with Paul.”

Hearing Jennifer take an audible gasp, I take a glance at her. Her face is etched in tortured pain.

“Can we talk outside for a moment, Jen?” I say in a controlled voice.