Accidental Neighbor by Sharon Woods
Chapter 3
Thomas (Three months later)
I sip my beer, leaning my arm on a few boxes stacked on top of each other. I'm in the living room of my house. Taking in the almost empty room that surrounds me, I only have the couch and TV unit left. Today I began packing my house because I was offered a position at my friend Joshua's new company. I need a fresh start to life. I will be moving from the house I built with my wife, and then I will try to begin rebuilding my family's life. All the memories of the last six years in this house flash in front of my eyes, causing a burn in the center of my chest.
I suck in a deep breath; there is still a lot more packing to be done, with very limited time. All my friends and family are at work due to it being a Friday, so I'm here alone with the girls. I have annual leave for this whole upcoming week. I need to get unpacked and find childcare and a school for the girls. My friends and family arranged to come meet me at the new house tomorrow to help me unpack. I take another sip of beer. “Daddy, Rose smells,” I can hear Lily yell out from her room.
Little feet patter along the hall tiles, and the cries get louder. I get off the boxes, just in time to have Rose hug my leg. I put my beer down, out of reach, and squat down in front of Rose and lift her up into my arms. She cuddles me tightly as I hold her to me with one hand and pat the back of her soft blond hair with the other before I get a waft of the unpleasant smell. “It's okay, Daddy will change your diaper and you will be all better to go back and play.”
I can hear her soft muffles and the movement of her head on my shoulder. Rose is only two but the spitting image of their mother. The daily reminder pulls at my gut. Walking down the hallway, carrying her in my arms into her room to change her, I see Lily playing with her toy as I pass her room, so I stop and talk to her. “Sweetheart, you can't say that to your sister; it makes her upset.”
“Okay, Daddy.” She groans. Lily doesn’t take her focus off her Barbies to glance my way; the sass of the five-year-old girl frightens me.
I softly shake my head and wander to Rose’s room. I lay Rose down on her changing table and change her diaper. She is a wriggly toddler now so I have to be quick and give her toys to play with. Or I lean down and I tickle her belly with my fingers, just to hear the sound of her cackle. The sound is the highlight of my day and can turn my bad moment into a happy feeling instantly. I finish and hop her down to play Barbies with her sister. She runs to Lily’s room as soon as her feet hit the floor.
I slowly walk to the room. “Girls, Daddy is almost finished, then we will have some dinner. How about some pizza?”
The girls squeal and clap their hands at the offer. “Yes, pizza, please.” Lily cheers, her eyes shining up at me. Rose just claps and smiles at her sister.
Rose adores Lily; they play well together. Occasionally they fight but which siblings don’t? I usually cook dinner and takeout is extremely rare so when pizza is offered, the excitement from the girls is pure joy.
My phone starts to vibrate in my pocket. I pull it from my jeans pocket. Reading the screen, I can see my phone lighting up. “Hi, Mom.”
“Hi, dear. How’s your day? Did you get a lot of packing done?”
Walking back down to the living room, after I’m happy the girls are playing again, I move over to where I left my beer, and I pick it up and take another pull from it before answering.
“Yes, I got a bit but there is still a lot.” Scanning around, a tired sigh leaves my lips while I scratch my forehead. “I will probably be up half the night to finish.”
“I will just have a shower and come over. I can look after the girls until they fall asleep, then help you.”
Grumbling at her offer, I want her to come over but the pang of guilt in my stomach because she just worked all day has me declining. “Mom, you just finished work. You can't; you must be exhausted.”
“No, it's fine. I won’t stay all night, just an hour or two. I need more time with my grandbabies before you take them farther away.”
My lips perk at her tone. “It's not that far away, Mom. You can visit anytime.”
She huffs out an audible breath on the phone. “It's not the same suburb.”
“An hour won't kill you. We will talk about it when you get here. I really don't have time for this. I'm going to put a pizza order in. Come over for dinner with us and invite Dad.”
“I'll pick it up on the way. Your dad's asleep on the couch so I won’t wake him; he won’t even notice I have left. I will leave him a note.”
Dad is quiet and is known for falling asleep at the drop of a hat—even mid-conversation. So, I'm not surprised he is asleep now.
“I'll see you soon, Mom.” I hang up.
Thinking about her comment makes me smile; they haven't changed at all. Mom has always been very protective of me—a real mother hen. I'm her only child because she was unable to have any more children, and I always wanted a sibling growing up. I didn't fully understand until I was older and Mom was able to explain to me that she and Dad couldn’t conceive naturally again and tried but had many failed IVF attempts. I enjoy having undivided attention but sometimes it would be nice to have space.
Since Victoria, she has been even more helpful, to both me and the girls. The girls’ bond with their grandmother is special. They simply adore and idolize her. I call through to the local pizza shop and put in my usual order before returning to the lounge and stuffing the phone in my pocket. Picking up a new box, I step over to the TV unit to begin packing. I kneel in front of the white unit, open the cupboard, and begin pulling out all the girls’ favorite Disney movies and placing them in the box. I'm almost finished emptying the last cupboard when I pull out a DVD and notice a photo stuck facedown. I pull it off with care so I don’t tear too much of it, and I only lose a tiny bit of the corner but manage to save the rest of the picture. I turn the photo around and my heart sinks. Staring back at me is a photo of Victoria cuddling Lily just minutes after giving birth.
Victoria’s smile was so beautiful—just like her. My eyes instantly fill with water, but I don't shed a tear. I don't want the kids to see me cry. Instead, I save my tears for when I am alone and no one can hear. I don’t need the kids worried about their dad; they are too young to understand the love I had for their mother.
This photo brings back so many good memories. I haven't thought about this day for a while. My lip perks, that moment I fell harder for Victoria. She was a true superwoman. Witnessing my daughter’s birth—both their births—was an experience I will never forget.
It all happened at three a.m. Victoria shook me awake to tell me her water broke. I flew out of bed so fast you would have thought there was a fire in the house. Her laugh at my actions didn't help me calm down. I was running around the house like a madman, getting dressed and grabbing the hospital bag. We got to the car, but the noise of her was like a feral cat. It freaked me the fuck out. I put my foot down, not caring if I received a speeding ticket. Victoria was so calm and confident; I was in awe of her at that moment. Getting ushered into the birth suite and getting told we would meet our baby in a few hours was one of the scariest moments of my entire life. I’m sure I felt my heart stop at that moment.
The nurse examined Victoria and said she was ready to push, then she asked if I would like to help, and I couldn’t say yes fast enough. I assisted in bringing Lily out and straight to lie on Victoria's chest. That photo was taken at that moment by a nurse. A state of pure bliss and happiness. The photo reminds me how much I miss her. How much I have needed her. How lonely I have felt ever since she died.
I don't know how long I sit staring at the photo, but my mom’s voice breaks my trance. “Hello.”
I jolt in surprise and carefully stash the photo in my front pocket. I can’t bear to see pity in Mom’s eyes right now. “Come in, Mom. I’m just in the living room, packing.” I add the remaining DVDs to the box and leave it before I get up and greet Mom in the kitchen.
Leaning in, I kiss her cheek, “Thanks for picking up the pizzas on your way; it's a big help.” I nod in the direction of the pizza boxes she had placed on my counter.
“Anytime, dear. I am just glad to help. Where are my girls?” Her eyes dart around.
“Playing in their rooms. Do you mind telling them dinner is ready? I’ll go ahead and grab the plates.”
“Of course.” As she takes off in the direction of the girls’ rooms, I set the table and a smile tugs on my lips when I hear the girls scream, “Nana”
The woman in their life they view as a maternal figure and a role model. Always playing Barbies, reading books, and baking cookies. Mom loves them like her own. Hence, I can only take the job because it's not far away. I couldn't make the girls feel like another woman was suddenly taken away from them. I would hate to think when that happens how we will all cope. Shaking the awful thoughts from my mind, I refocus on dinner.
Mom and the girls wander out hand in hand. I grab Rose and lift her into the high chair, clipping her buckles, as Mom settles Lily in her chair. I pass the girls their water and then grab some pizza, handing a cheese piece to Rose and then Lily before I grab a slice of my own.
“How much do you have left to do tonight?” Mom asks between bites of her pizza.
Chewing, I scan the house. “I have just finished the living room, so the kitchen and the girls’ rooms tonight.”
“That’s really good. Well, how about I bathe the girls, and you start Rose's room? When I’m done, I can help with Lily’s room so we can put them to bed and then start on the kitchen. How does that sound?”
“Good idea. The kitchen will take way too long to do first.”
After finishing our pizzas, I run the bath for the girls to give Mom a hand, then I grab the girls’ pajamas and lay them out before returning to the kitchen to help Mom get the girls into the bath.
“Shoo and get started in Rose’s bedroom. I'm fine to bathe them on my own.” She waves me away with the back of her hands.
My brows furrow in question. “You sure?”
“Yes, go!”
I wander to Rose's room and begin packing her things while Mom sings nursery rhymes to the girls, and Lily joins in. Lily always requests “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” a song Victoria used to sing to them all the time. The first few months, I struggled to sing it for the girls; I choked on the words. But I had to keep the memories of her alive for them, so I learned to breathe and repeatedly try. The first few times, I had tears streaming down my face. And Lily would question why I was sad when this was a song Mommy loved. Their little faces were so worried about me, and it crushed me. They are so innocent in all of this mess. A mess I should have prevented.
Listening to Mom sing, I start to pack the clothes from the wardrobe. It doesn't take me long to pack her room up. I even manage to start Lily’s room before the girls’ bedtime. I take Rose to bed, kiss her cheek, and lower her into her crib. I stand back as Rose watches me with her hazel eyes just like her mom’s, while I run my fingers in her short blond hair and whisper, “Good night. I love you.”
I close her door before tiptoeing to Lily’s room to complete packing up her room. Mom reads to her for a little while longer, and I finish the room. When I finish, I stand next to Mom and wait for her to finish the last storybook before she leans in and kisses Lily to say good night.
“I’ll start packing the kitchen,” she whispers, getting up, rubbing my shoulder, and taking off out the door. I nod and turn to Lily. Leaning down, I stroke her cheek before kissing it and tucking her in.
“I love you, sweetheart.”
“Love you, Daddy.”
I walk out and straight into the kitchen, noticing Mom busy looking for something. Creases are etched in her face as she opens and closes doors. “What are you looking for?” I mutter gently under my breath.
“Newspaper.”
Walking to the fridge, I grab it from the top where I left it and hand it to her.
“Thanks,” she whispers and starts to lay it on the counter while I grab a flat box and make a few more. I begin on the other side of the kitchen from Mom so we don’t trip over each other. We work like that for the next hour until everything is wrapped and packed up in the stack of brown cardboard, except a few bits and pieces for our breakfast.
Peering around at all the boxes, I’m happy with our progress.
“What’s next?” Mom asks.
“I just need to do my room and the bathroom. I'll do the bathroom tomorrow, after my shower. And I'll do my room in a minute, but you should take off. It's getting late and you had to work today. I don’t like you driving late or when you're tired. But thanks again for coming over and helping. We managed to get so much done.”
“I can help you with your room before I head out. I am fine, really, dear.”
Shaking my head side to side, I say, “No, seriously, Mom. I don't have much stuff; it will take me a few minutes max. Please just head home. I'll see you before I go tomorrow?”
“Fine, yes, and then I will help you unpack at the new house.”
“You don't have to. I have the movers and the boys said they will help.” I lean on the counter for support. My body is getting tired and the counter is the only thing holding me upright.
Her eyebrows rise. “The boys?” Her tone is mocking.
“Yes, they are great. It's not hard to unpack, Mom.” I stand up and cross my arms over my chest.
“I know but with a woman's touch, it will be better. I’ll come and help, even just with the girls.”
I sigh and drop my arms. “Okay, that sounds great. I'm sure they will love to show you their new rooms anyway.”
That has my mom’s face lighting up like a Christmas tree.
“Okay, well, I will take off then.” She grabs her handbag and I lead her out to the door.
“Please take it easy on the roads,” I remind her.
She lifts her hand up to stroke my face and a small smile forms. “I will.”
I kiss her cheek before she trails to her car. I watch her drive off, waving before locking the door. Taking in a breath, I walk directly to the wardrobe in my room and gaze around.
Where to start?
Blowing out my cheeks I start with my side, the easier side. It doesn’t take long before all my clothes, shoes, and belongings are in the box.
When I turn to Victoria’s, I freeze and stare. I know I need to sort through her clothes and possessions, but I don't know how. It’s the reason why I couldn’t have my mom here. She doesn’t know I haven't touched Victoria's belongings at all. I'm sure she thinks I have thrown it all away but in fact I haven’t been able to bring myself to sort through it. Or to even take a look at it.
Without thinking I lean forward and begin grabbing a stack of folded clothes from the shelves and dumping them in the box. My stomach hardens. She really is gone and she won't be coming back to wear any of these clothes. Having them here felt comfortable; having to deal with them means I have to accept she really is gone and she isn’t coming back, ultimately leaving me and the girls. I feel light-headed so I begin frantically dumping with no order or neatness. Just chaos.
After clearing out the shelves I move on to the drawers, starting at the top. My pulse thumps in my neck when the drawer reveals Victoria’s lingerie. I think back to the last time I was with Victoria intimately, her wearing the little red lace bra and panties that are sitting on top staring back at me. My breathing restricts and my ears start to ring. I slam the drawer and hit the shower to let it out for the final time.