Accidental Neighbor by Sharon Woods

Chapter 4

Thomas

I toss and turn all night, barely sleeping. The emotions from the previous day wreak havoc in my mind. At some point in the night Lily must have crawled into my bed, because I woke up feeling her little warm arms wrapped around my neck. She has been waking up with nightmares the last week and seeking comfort from me being nearby. I can hear Rose calling out to me, “Da-da, da-da.”

Tossing my sheets back and climbing out of bed, I stroll toward her room. I open the door and find her standing up in her crib with the biggest smile, making me believe at least someone in this house got sleep last night. Lifting her out of her crib, I balance her on my hip and begin walking to the high chair to lower and clip her in before beginning the breakfast routine. I start mixing up her oats, when I hear my phone ringing from my bedroom where I left it on the charger. I run to my room, but as I enter, the covers are moving. Lily’s arms are stretching above her head. The ringtone has woken her up. Shit.

Snatching the phone off the charger, I move to her side of the bed. “Good morning, sweetheart. Sorry Daddy’s phone woke you.” I sit next to her on the edge of the bed and stroke her hair. I watch as she rubs her eyes and yawns. “Would you like some breakfast? I’m making some oats for Rose.”

Nodding at me, she says, “Yes, Daddy.”

I stroke her hair one last time before pushing up off the bed and gazing down at her.

“Okay, I'll meet you in the kitchen.” My eyes turn to my phone to check who called, and it's my friend James. Wandering back to the kitchen, I offer Rose a drink and then hit call. I tuck my phone between my cheek and my shoulder so I can continue making Rose’s breakfast.

“Morning.”

“Hey, sorry I missed your call.”

“It’s all good. I’m just driving over now. Did you want a coffee?”

Knowing my coffee machine is stacked in a box and if I don’t take his offer I won't be getting one today, I say, “Yes, please. A latte, no sugar.”

“All good, see you soon.”

“Bye.” I hang up and add some honey to the oats and hand it to Rose who squeals in excitement at her breakfast. I’m lucky both my kids eat really well, only occasionally being picky but on a whole eating anything that is offered.

Turning on my heel to trail back into the kitchen, I see Lily in the pantry. I didn’t even hear her come down.

“Daddy is making toast and eggs; did you want that or oats?”

“Toast only, Daddy.” She pulls the bread out and hands it to me.

“Okay, well, sit up at the table and I'll make you some. What would you like on it?”

I open the bread and put four slices in the double toaster.

“Peanut butter.” While the bread is toasting, I step to the fridge to retrieve some eggs, and I begin to fry my eggs up in a pan on the stove before finishing Lily’s toast, then I join the girls to eat. When we are all done with breakfast, I wash their hands and faces so they can play with the few toys I left out. I start washing the dishes as a heavy knock hits the front door.

Without leaving the sink I yell out, “Come in, James; the door is open. I’m down in the kitchen.”

The heavy door creaks open and then slams shut before the slow, heavy footsteps hitting the floors start.

After I finish the last dish, I dry my hands as James enters the kitchen. Lowering my coffee to the counter, I hold my hand out while James shakes it and brings my chest to his so he can hit my back. I mimic the action. “Thanks for helping this weekend.”

“Anytime. Always happy to help you. You know that.” He surveys the kitchen and the house. “Tell me, what have you started?”

His gaze returns to mine, his arms draped across his chest.

“I have packed the little pieces in almost every room.”

He offers a small tilt in his chin. “What are you thinking? Where did you want to start today?”

I hadn’t even thought about that; my brain hasn’t been working well since my breakdown last night. I need to think, to snap out of it. We don’t have much time and I don’t want everyone waiting on me all day. I shake my head.

James pops a brow, clearly reading my thoughts. “How did you want to pack the truck?”

I take a deep inhale and scan the boxes in each room. I scratch at my temple. “I think the big items, like the beds and couches. I need to set the girls' rooms up in the new house for Rose's nap today. Let me check on the girls and then let’s dismantle the girls’ beds.”

I set off in the direction of Lily’s room with James hot on my heels. I pause at the door, watching them play with their dolls.

“Girls, James is here,” I say. Both girls lift their chins in the direction of my voice. Their mouths part into wide smiles. He walks past me into the room and squats down next to the girls in his navy shorts and white t-shirt.

“Uncle Jay,” Lily shouts, throwing down the Barbie and jumping into his arms for a cuddle. Rose mimics Lily and cuddles his other side, nestling into his chest.

My mouth twitches, my eyes glistening, and I feel lucky to have supportive people in my life. Not a lot of people have people who would drop everything in their lives to help another. For me, I have the world’s greatest family and friends.

“Hi, girls. I see you got your Barbies to play with—fun. Maybe after I help your daddy, I can play Barbies. I’m really good with Barbies.” He turns his face up, catching my gaze, and winks at me. I let out a soft laugh, shaking my head.

Since the first day of high school we’ve been stuck together. James is my oldest friend—best man at my wedding, the best uncle to my daughters, even if he spoils them too much. Twenty years later and we’re as close as ever. He’s been there for all the highs and the lows of my life, and even though opening up isn’t something I do often, besides Victoria, James is one of the only other people I’d go to.

James works hard and plays harder, but I’ve always admired his drive and determination when it comes to his work. Watching James build his business from the ground up, to become one of the premier real estate development companies has always inspired me and is one of the reasons I pushed myself to move further within my own career.

I’m excited for the scenery change. I won’t lie, juggling my career as a single parent to two kids five and under presents its challenges, but I love my job, and in the end, I couldn’t pass up this opportunity that Joshua offered. I want to be an example for my girls, show them to go after what you want and work hard.

I want to make them proud.

The girls detangle themselves and resume playing again.

“Let’s start in Rose’s room, shall we?” I take a few steps to the opposite room with James following behind. We begin to separate Rose’s furniture and then carry the pieces and boxes to the truck while we work in silence, which I welcome.

I need the space to think and not talk. I feel numb; the process of packing my family's life up is gut-wrenching.

We need this. It will be worth it. I repeat this in my head, like a mantra.

Once completing Rose’s room, we move to do the same to Lily’s, trying not to get in the way of the girls playing. They have been so good today, happily playing as we get the house packed up. The whole idea of moving, Lily has taken it well. She has been excited about the new room. With Rose, I worry that this is going to cause more grief but living in this house is getting harder every day. How can I move on from Victoria, with the memories of this house swamped with her? I can hear her laughter through the halls, her singing in the bathroom. The images are so vivid it hurts. It hurts every layer of my body.

We are walking out with parts of Lily’s bed to put in the truck when I spot a car pulling up in my peripheral vision. It’s Mom and Dad’s station wagon.

“Good morning, son. How did it go with the last bits of packing after I left last night?” I kiss both my mom’s cheeks and shake dad’s hand after they exit the car.

I spin and move inside, and they trail in behind me.

“I finished most of it, I got too tired so I just went to bed.” I purposely leave out packing Victoria’s clothes and my shower breakdown. I don’t need to worry my mom any more than I know she does. I know what it’s like as a parent. If your kids are in pain, you are too. You feel everything they do and you want to help. And in this case nobody can help.

“That’s good. Where can I help?” My dad slaps my back in a soft way and squeezes my shoulder blade. We halt in the kitchen and I turn to face them.

“Mom, the girls are in Lily’s room. Do you mind making sure they are almost ready to go? I want to finish packing the truck. And then we will be ready to take off to the new house.”

Already wandering off to the room, she calls over her shoulder, “Okay, love.”

I swivel to face Dad. “Can you finish packing Lily’s room with James and then move on to the living room?”

James waltzes back in at that moment. He had a business call to take, so he stayed outside beside the truck to take it.

“Hey, Dad.” He winks at my dad and thrusts his hand out for a handshake.

“Good morning, James. How are you? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

My parents view him as a son, even calling him by his full name.

“Dad, it was only a week ago.” I roll my eyes at the comment and cut the conversation before I am unpacking late into the night.

“James, can you help Dad with Lily’s room and then the living room? I want to tackle my room.”

I need to get to it, and this is the opportunity that I will get to do it on my own. Last night cemented the fact that I don’t want help.

“Sounds good, gives us a chance to catch up.” James grabs my dad’s shoulder, draping his arm casually around it as they walk to Lily’s room talking.

I don’t waste any more time. I jog up to my room and walk straight into the bathroom and pack up the toiletries because I want to leave Victoria’s stuff until the very end. Finishing up my room, I move on to her belongings, pulling the top drawer wide open. I stare at it.

What do I do?

I decide at that moment that I can’t bring this to the new house. We need a fresh start, to leave the memories of us in this house. I only want to keep stuff I can gift the girls—the wedding dress, rings, and photos. This reminds me that the jeans I wore yesterday have a photo shoved in the pocket. Scooping up yesterday’s jeans that were thrown on the bathroom floor, I retrieve the photo to put in the keep box.

I wander back to the kitchen and grab a garbage bag and jog back to my room before the guys notice me. Opening the lingerie drawer, I hold my breath as I yank the drawer completely out of the frame and tip the entire contents in the bag. I'm not thinking; I am just working on an autopilot to get this done. When I finish sorting out her belongings, I tie up the bag and stalk out to the bin where I put it while letting out a shaky breath. My eyes are glassy, and tears are threatening but I hold them in. Rolling my shoulders back and walking back into the wardrobe, I hear James call out.

“Tom, are you here?”

“Yeah, in the walk-in wardrobe,” I shout.

Heavy footsteps hit the tiles, and I glance up as the sound gets louder and I watch as he leans his body against the wall. James is not a short guy, his over six-foot body taking up most of the entry. If he wasn’t in real estate, I could picture him in GQ or as a bodyguard.

“You want a hand here? Your dad and I finished Lily’s room and the living room.”

That was quick; how long have I been here? I gaze around at the now bare room. “No, I just finished here. But I need to dismantle my bed and pack it into the truck. Do you mind giving me a hand?”

“Of course not.” He pushes off the wall, then strolls into the room to get started, and I follow.

“I gotta fly out tonight. Will you be okay the rest of the week or do you need me to cancel?” he asks.

“Go. The girls and I will be fine. I got it. I haven’t got too much to do, and I have plenty of time to sort it out.”

“Make sure you call me if you need me to fly back.”

I laugh. “I’m a big boy; I'll be fine.”

“I don't know about that,” he says, his tone light with humor.

I roll my eyes at his comment, and we both laugh.

Dad helps James and me pack the last bits in the truck. When we are ready to drive off, I walk to Lily’s room.

“You ready, girls?”

Lily’s eyes widen and she jumps up and grabs her toys. “Now?”

“Yes, everything is packed in the truck. Let me help get you girls in the car. I will be in the truck.”

Mom carries Rose, and I help Lily pack the toys before I tuck them in the car.

“You got the address, Mom?” I ask.

“Yeah, Dad plugged it into the GPS. Meet you there.” I nod and jog up the drive.

James is waiting in the truck while I do a final sweep of the house by myself.

I had this pull to come in and say goodbye.

Say goodbye to my former life. A life I will never get back.

I feel like I need to try to find myself again. Last year I was a shell of a man. Leaving this house means putting behind some of the best memories. It's soul crushing but I know there are two girls out there that need their dad. A better version than the empty zombie I have given them. I know grief can’t turn off like a light switch and I will never forget Victoria, but I need to start living. Really living.

Wandering through the house one more time, I could almost picture Victoria and me curled up on the couch watching Netflix, while the girls slept, cuddling beside us. I miss the simplicity of that life before it all fell apart—in an instant.

Closing the front door behind me, I spin and turn the keys to lock it. Walking over, I rip open the passenger side door of the truck and step up, then slide in silently. Slamming the door shut behind me, I thrust the keys at James. He wants to deal with the sale of the property. I know it will be handed over to a family who will love it as much as I once did.

“You okay?” he softly asks.

I nod but don’t turn to him as I speak. “Yeah.” It comes out barely above a whisper as I look down at my ringless finger sitting on my jean-covered thigh. As tears threaten to leak, I inhale deeply to steady myself while rubbing my hands up and down my thighs.

My heart beats frantically inside my chest and I keep taking slow breaths to calm my body down before I lean toward the radio and turn up the volume, letting James know I'm not in the mood to talk. Sitting back into the leather beneath me, I close my eyes briefly before I gaze out my window and watch as the house disappears in front of my eyes and into the faded distance.