Dare to Love My Grumpy Boss by Ellie Hall

2

Shaw

Ishould be running scans on software that’s been tripping up as well as investigating a low-level hacking attempt from an IP doppelganger. Nice try to piggyback your way in, sucker. Saw you coming three threads back. I should also be in a meeting with Rick and a CEO from another tech company. Until I can clone myself, I’ll stay out of stiff meetings.

With a few clicks, I correct the software trouble and block the hacker.

Now, I go back to rereading the last few messages between @PacManWizard and @CookClickChick on the HUB. Rick can wait. I’m not known around here for being overly accommodating, generous, or friendly. I stick to my office, do things on my terms, and make sure the company is secure. A while ago, I gave up busting my hump, only to be betrayed by those closest to me.

DigiPower is no longer a passion. Just a job and one that I grudgingly do because there must be some sliver of goodness left in me...or because I don’t know what to do instead. Scratch that. I know what I’d like to do, but I’ve gotten used to success and am not sure how I’d handle failure if my endeavor didn’t work out. My chats with @CookClickChick keep the doubts at bay. I reread our last one, hoping she pops in again.

@CookClickChick: Monday, Monday, why do you torment me?

@PacManWizard: Did you walk into the office to find a dumpster fire?

@CookClickChick: No, I woke up to one. In fact, I started it with a stupid little slip of my thumb.

She went on to describe posting an accidental selfie to an app called Forever Ink. Ever since that hit the tech waves, I’ve been fascinated—I still can’t figure out what kind of code the developers used to prevent deletions. In the tech community, it’s dubbed the “tattoo code” because it can’t be erased. However, as it turns out, tattoos on the skin can be removed so there must be a way...

And if there is, I’d be the guy to find it.

Not that I would because I don’t do stuff like that. Ahem. Not anymore. More like I learn the ways that rules are broken, hacks are made, and how security systems are breached so that I can act preemptively for my employers and prevent things like that from happening to their data.

@PacManWizard: It happens to the best of us.

@CookClickChick: But not everyone has a frenemy like Miranda.

@PacManWizard: Harsh. But I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.

When we originally sent these messages back and forth, I had to force myself not to ask her to include a selfie. She’s so refreshingly down to earth I can’t help but be curious about what she looks like. However, it’s pointless to think this is anything other than a friendly exchange between tech nerds because even though @CookClickChick is sweet, funny, and smart I am not looking for likes, loves, or follows.

Nope. None of that.

I’ve been called selfish, self-absorbed, self-centered... All the selfs. It’s me, myself, and I over here. Had to be that way in order to survive my childhood from a broken home and abusive father. Hacked my way out of that one. Literally and technologically. It’s a situation I don’t dwell on. However, I’m self-aware enough to realize that self-perseveration became a habit. One, I’d really have to get over myself to break.

My computer pings with a notification from the HUB. A zing of anticipation shoots through me in the hopes that it’s from @CookClickChick. No such luck. Instead, it’s a reminder that I’m supposed to be in a meeting.

Regrettably, I go. Do I dislike my job? No, not really. Do I dislike my boss and all his subjects—he actually calls them that—? Immensely.

While they rattle on about expense ratios, scalability, and a deadline for a new project, I zone out and return to the chat thread with @CookClickChick from earlier.

@CookClickChick: Oh, it was bad. Hideous. And now recorded on the internet forever and I only have myself to blame.

@PacManWizard: I can have a word with your thumb, if you’d like. Tell it to say sorry and promise not to randomly click buttons on your phone without your consent.

@CookClickChick: I already sent it to the naughty step for a time out, but thanks. You’re the best.

I chuckle at her comment.

Rick, leading the meeting, says, “Shaw, do you have something to add? Something funny?”

“Oh, yeah, the piggyback attacker struck again. Don’t worry, I was all over it,” I say in an attempt to cover my tracks.

“And why is that funny?”

“The name,” I say, as if that’s not obvious.

Sometime between college and present day, Rick and half the guys I work with lost their senses of humor. They went all in accumulating wealth and power—two things I am all too aware ultimately yield little in the way of ROI. The return on investment on a life well lived on the other hand... Not that I haven’t pursued the same, but I like to think I still know how to laugh. Smiling is another matter. One reason Rick was all too happy to see me step down as partner was I was known around here as the Grump, as in the Grumpy Boss.

The “subjects” aka employees would give me a wide berth when I strode down the hallway of our two-acre tech complex. Comments during meetings started with something like, “Sir, may I offer an idea,” even though I’d pointedly asked them a question. And no one dared take my parking spot.

But for now, I’m stuck here, doing Rick’s bidding.

He brushes his hands together. “Good to know your juvenile humor lives on because these reports are nothing to laugh about. Our subsidiary is a quickly sinking ship. You, of all people, need to become aware of that and treat this like the business it is.”

I bite my tongue. He knows where I stand. He knows why I’m not at the front of the room commanding this meeting.

My attention drifts when they discuss a merger.

I check the HUB again. No new messages from @CookClickChick. It’s Friday, and I’d like to be home or, at the very least, back in my office. The last time I was home by six p.m. on a Friday evening was...

I don’t remember. Back to the HUB thread from earlier.

@PacManWizard: Anything exciting happening at the office this week? I remember you mentioned that guys did Show and Tell Tuesday. The week before was Code Crush Wednesday...We never have stuff like that.

@CookClickChick: Does going to the aforementioned frenemy’s wedding on Friday count? :(

@PacManWizard: Only if you’re crashing it. I added the laughing emoji.

She went on to tell me she had no such luck and how her high school nemesis invited her and four of her closest friends to the event.

I wanted to ask if she was going solo. Again, I forced myself to hold back. No sense in finding out more about a girl who I’ll never meet, never have time for.

Also, I know better than to get involved. Learned that lesson the hard way. Instead, I focus on work, at least for now.

Well, not right now, because I’m still in this pointless meeting.

“Do you have anything to add, Shaw?” Rick asks.

I’ve been only half—okay a quarter—paying attention to these things for a couple of years so as if reading from a script, I say, “No. You about covered it. Thanks, Rick.”

Without waiting for further comment, I stride out of the meeting room.

Back in my office, I take one more look at the exchange between @CookClickChick and me before I do something productive like plan my next adventure—one of the many benefits of being the head of security here is I can cover my tracks so my “boss” doesn’t know that I’m browsing travel sites online or chatting on the HUB while on the clock—or revisiting previous chats like I do now.

@CookClickChick: I have to get a project done this week and then I’ll be offline all weekend. Leave it to Miranda to get me to give up some of my precious few weekends. Then again, I’ve been working a lot so it’ll be nice to get away.

@PacManWizard: But it’ll be lonely on the HUB without you. I’ll miss you.

I’d clicked send before I thought that through and quickly added a few silly emojis so it didn’t seem like I’d meant anything by it. I didn’t, right? I mean, I’m just looking back through our chat now because I’m procrastinating.

Yeah. That’s why.

@CookClickChick: You mean you’ll miss she of twelve chins and ostrich skin? Ha ha ha! Chat Monday...and hopefully, it’ll be better than today so far. <3

I’d be a big, fat liar if I hadn’t wondered what @CookClickChick looks like. The avatars for users on the HUB are various neon objects that we select when we create our account—hers is a spoon and I’ve gathered that she loves cooking. Mine is an umbrella...for reasons.

My job is to make sure we don’t have a rainy day, hence my job in cyber security. Also, little known fact, I am—or rather was—the umbrella of this company.

Speaking of symbols, should I read into the less than symbol combined with the number three to form a heart at the end of @CookClickChick’s reply or does she sign off that way regularly? I skim back through previous chats. No heart emoticons.

I’ve worked hard to get to the top, but my number one business partner, the guy I trusted with this baby we created, screwed me over big time.

Looking back, everything worked out fine, but I’m cautious about who enters the trust triangle, especially when it comes to women.

Yet, the connection I feel to @CookClickChick is stronger than Wi-Fi.

As I turn my attention back to work, because I probably should be somewhat productive as I close out the week, I countdown the days until Monday—for the first time ever.