Bear by Lily J. Adams

 

Chapter Four: New Pathways

 

Delphia

 

He came in again to collect his keys and I got the chance to admire his thick, powerful legs as they crossed the length of the tiled gas station floor. I could watch him move all day. It was as if he’d been pulled from an action movie and was launched down here to the real world.

Closing my mouth was hard to do, because it nearly hung open every time I saw him.

I didn’t turn down his Wheelz invite, but I didn’t say yes either. From his full beard and overall ruggedness, I assumed he was a lot older than me. That might have been part of his appeal, honestly. I rubbed my hands over my arms. I felt like I needed some extra protection in my life.

Another sultry day in Holbeck as I stood behind the cash register, kicking myself for being vague about his request. I looked down at his number for a good few minutes, thinking it might self-destruct, but it just sat there, waiting for me to pick up the phone.

You have nothing to lose. He already invited you, he’s not going to reject you.

Biting my nails, I left the number on the counter and moved over to the coffee machine to clean up a minor spill, procrastinating. Then I returned to the counter. There were no customers, and early morning work had dissipated. Now there was just me and the pressure of wanting to make a call. I rang the number, hoping that it would go to voicemail. My head was swimming as I waited for him to answer the phone.

“Who is this?” he inquired in a level voice.

I had called from the work phone. I’d started being really careful ever since the death of my brother and wasn’t taking any chances with strangers. “Hi, this is Delphia.” Okay, I got the first part out. That was a good start.

“Hey! Nice to hear from you. How’s the gas station today? I don’t need to come down there and beat anybody up, do I?”

“Nope. I’m all good for now.”

“That’s good to hear. You thought some more about coming down to the club?” he asked me straight out.

I swallowed hard, but it was tough to shake the smile from on my face. “About that… I was thinking I would come down. Might be fun and I haven’t been out in a while.”

“See, there you go. Come on down and we can have some fun.”

The lightness in the way he asked made it easy for me to say yes. “Okay, I will.” A pausing hint in my voice showed that I was holding something back.

He picked up on it. “What?”

“I don’t know… I was wondering if you had a girlfriend or not. Not that it’s any of my business or anything.” I felt the blood pumping through my chest as I asked. Dang, the question felt like it had come from another person. I’d never been this forward with men in general.

“No girlfriend. I’m single. How about you?”

The solemnity in his voice let me know he was telling me the truth. Given, all I’d been through it was hard to see through smokescreens sometimes. “I-I don’t have a m-man,” I stuttered.

“Sounds like we are both single then.” He was clearly smiling into the phone.

I giggled at the obviousness of his statement. That’s all I wanted to ask. I didn’t want to take it any further. “Guess it does.”

I looked out the window to see a customer at the pump, knowing I would have to go soon. It never failed, this weird sequence of events at Holbeck Gas. One person came to the pump, then a whole influx of customers would flood the place. I kept going with my justifications, “I don’t want to come down there and step on any toes in case you weren’t a free man or something.” My way of clearing it up.

He saw through it. “It’s okay to ask. I wouldn’t invite you down to the club if I didn’t want to spend time with you.”

I could hear his smile through the phone as a wave of heat flushed along my cheeks. The conversation felt like it was meant to be. Words flowed so seamlessly between us. “Thank you.” There was a customer fast approaching the double doors. “By the way, when is the best day? I have a customer coming in right now.”

“Any day, but Wednesday is cool. You can come join in with the pool games if you want and there’ll be more Rebel Saints you can meet.”

“Wednesday it is,” I agreed before I could back out.

“Bye, Delphia. Take care of yourself.”

“I will.” If anything, that was one thing I was learning to do. I managed to get my own apartment by the time I was twenty. I’d always been this free spirit type of individual. My brother and I were like two peas in a pod. He liked his independence too. There wasn’t too much that I didn’t do without him.

“Hey sister, sister from the same mister, you wanna come see this new band down near the wharf? I’ll pick you up from work when you knock off.”

I helped the customer in front of me and looked wistfully out of the window. Sometimes, I could see the ghost of his bike sitting near the pressure hose. I could even hear the roar of it sometimes. He would rev it up and a huge cloud of smoke would kick up.

As I looked dolefully out the streaked window. I saw there was no bike, just the hose that needed to be wound back up. “Miss you bro,” I said quietly.

I wish he’d never gotten caught up with Rocky. When I met that man, all I felt was his violent energy. He reeked of it. His eyes were so dark I couldn’t even make out what color they were. Shivers ran the length of my spine as I recalled his face. I remembered one time he was at my brother’s house when I was there.

“Hey, how are you doing Delphia, you’re looking real nice,” Rocky growled at me as his pupils trained on me felt like a violation.

That day had been ultra sticky in Holbeck, and I’d just gotten back from swimming with friends. I was wearing denim shorts and a cute tank top.

My brother nipped it in the bud quickly. “She’s off limits. You’re scaring her man. Find someone in your own lane. Aren’t you seeing Debra?” My brother took all his advances with a good natured attitude.

When I was alone with him, I told him about Rocky. “You need to get rid of him. He’s not good to be around. There’s something freaky about him.”

“He’s just being a dickhead. He does that from time to time; he’s a good guy, just misunderstood.”

“No. I don’t believe it. Stop hanging out with him,” I declared it with force.

He didn’t listen to me when I said it. “You trying to tell me what to do sister, sister?” A cocky look got sent my way as he lit up a cigarette. “Remember who’s the eldest. That’d be me. Not you. I’m gonna do what I want. I’ll keep him in line. He won’t do nothing to you. Rocky wouldn’t hurt a fly. Besides, we got this deal going on. We got business together. I might have taken some of the cartel’s money for a li’l quick profit.”

I had gasped in fear. “You’re asking for trouble! You gotta give that money back,” I shouted at him. I couldn’t believe my brother couldn’t see him like I did.

“Cool it. I’ve already got it in the bag and the cartel will get their initial investment back.”

If Rocky wouldn’t hurt a fly, then my brother must have been the biggest fly there was. The day I got the call from my mother that Deon had been murdered, I instantly knew Rocky was his killer.

I wanted to blink and see my brother there, but that didn’t happen. I did that for another three weeks and still there was no sign of my brother. In its place was heartbreak, despair, and a bucket of tears that kept flowing. So many balled up tissues lay all over my room, I’d just kicked them out of the way, instead of picking them up.

“You should come live with us for a while. It’s not safe to live at your house alone like that. We don’t want anything to happen to you too. I can’t lose another,” my mother had wailed.

So I went back home and stayed with my parents for a while. I thought it might help. My mother smoothed my hair down trying to soothe me and herself while we both sobbed on the couch, trying to make sense of something that couldn’t be made sense out of. My father did the opposite; he’d checked out on the sofa and stared way off into the distance as if he were searching the heavens for my brother.

My mind traveled back from the ugly memories to the present as the time ticked away slowly on the gas station clock. I had another couple of hours to go before the changeover of shifts. Brendan, another employee was taking over the night shift, and I would be finishing at three. That would give me time to go home and get a nap from the crossover of the night shift. The switchover in shifts knocked my body around, so I needed an extra boost of sleep when that happened.

A slamming sound made me jump from out the back of the gas station and I put a hand over my chest. I jumped a lot since the death of my brother. No customers were out front, so I scrambled from behind the counter.

At the back staff door, the emergency exit stood wide open.

My heart thumped hard in my chest. I had no recollection of leaving the door open. It was swinging wide. I pulled it back in and made sure it was secure. I yanked at it one more time to make sure. Super strange. My breath restored to its normal rhythm as I went back to my post.

A slew of customers gravitated in, keeping my mind from drifting to dark places as I forgot about the door.

Brendan arrived early to the shift. He was a weedy type of guy and just out of high school.

I didn’t see any need personally to continue a longer education after I got out of high school to college, since I already had a job and an apartment which is why people were going to school. In Holbeck, the ambition level was low; they wanted to be gainfully employed, receive a check, and feed their families.

“Hey Delphia, how’s it going?” Brandon asked.

I groaned as he dropped his bag down the back. “It’s been a drag, but you’ll be okay. All the pumps are good, no glitches like the other day. The coffee grounds in the machine are probably due for a change soon.”

“Got it.” He nodded and slumped over the counter.

“Oh and keep an eye on that back emergency door,” I noted. “It was weird, it swung open and I definitely thought I’d closed it. Maybe the latch has a problem or something like that.”

“Strange… that door is pretty tight. I’ve never had a problem with it, but I’ll keep an eye on it for sure.”

“Cool. That’s what I thought too. I must have left it open or something. I’m going to do a sweep of the toilets, I’ll be back.” I did my usual afternoon walk through the toilets. Everything seemed to be in order and it was five minutes before I had to leave . I gave Brendan the puppy dog eyes to take over the shift.

He grinned at me. “Sure, sure. Go. Get out of here. I’ve already logged on anyway. Have a good night.”

“Thanks Brendan, you’re the best.” I walked out through the double doors and over to my car. I felt so relieved to be going home. I cruised past the Chinese takeout to get some of my favorite lucky soup. A spooky shiver made me feel as if someone was tailing me.

“Here’s your order, miss. Enjoy.”

I took my bag and looked at the customers in the restaurant. They were engrossed in their own conversations. As I walked out of the restaurant to my car, I heard a burnout that made me look up the street further. I didn’t see the car as there seemed to be too much smoke.

Another Holbeck idiot doing donuts in the street.

Inhaling the soup made my heart swell as I looked forward to slurping it down when I got home. On the way, a face popped into my mind. The big guy who’d left his house key by the pumps. He reminded me of a safe place to land. I wondered what it would be like to put my hand on his tight chest and run my fingers all over him.

My soup started sliding as I turned the corner for home. “Shoot!” My sharp reflexes covered the soup in time as I pulled in the driveway. A zooming sound made me look in my mirror. A car raced by at high speed down my street. Maybe it was the day for hooligans. Who knew, but this was Holbeck. It was either souped-up cars or motorcycles, pick your mode of transportation. For me, my little Honda did the trick just fine.