Fall for Me by Claudia Burgoa

Chapter Twenty-Five

June

Willow:Is it weird that we are texting each other?

Hunter: We were friends first. I like us being friends. Keep sending those pictures.

Hunter: I always want to be a part of you. Even when we’re walking different roads.

Willow: I like that!

Hunter:Those sunsets from New Jersey were phenomenal. I heard you went back to school, too.

Willow: Yes, I’m taking a few acting classes.

Willow: Thank you for the full moon pics. I think we need to stop. My phone doesn’t have enough memory to store them.

Hunter: I set up a cloud to upload the pictures to instead of texting them. You can post comments on the cloud, too.

July

Hunter: You’re in Hawaii?

Willow: Are you stalking me, Mr. Everhart?

Hunter: Now that you mention it, it does sound like it. No. I saw your sister’s post on Facebook and her traveling picture on Instagram.

Willow: How do you know I’m with her?

Hunter: #travelingsisters #familyfun #surfsup

Willow: Well now you know why for the next week I’m not answering your texts. I’m turning off my phone. Have a fun weekend, Hunt.

Hunter:Loved the pictures you uploaded from Oahu.

Willow: Setting up the cloud was a great idea.

Hunter: Your grandfather said your vacations were sensibly perfect.

Willow: That’s a way to put it. He can be too formal.

Hunter: I had no idea you surf.

Willow: I wasn’t born on top of a board like Hazel, but yes.

Willow: How did you spend your Fourth of July weekend?

Hunter: I worked, hung out with my brothers, and worked on a project.

Hunter: We never discussed this, but can I ask how are you doing?

Willow:Sorry for taking almost a week to respond.

Hunter: Honestly, I thought that was the end of our friendship.

Willow: No, I went through a process. From asking what I felt to how to guide it.

Willow: I’m not sharing the diagnosis with everyone.

Hunter: What’s the answer then?

Willow: It’s hard to change and understand and to write everything down and breathe.

Willow: Sorry, I missed a lot of commas there.

Willow: I’m writing everything. Thoughts, emotions, reactions, even what I eat. The urge to flee when I can’t control my reactions appears often. It’s not easy, and when I think I have a grasp on the situation, boom.

Willow: You can say I’ve had a few setbacks.

Willow:Are you stealing pictures from the Internet?

Hunter: What?

Willow: There are pictures of you all over town. Even outside the Frick Museum.

Hunter: Baby steps, gorgeous. I’m fighting my own demons.

Willow: You’re going to get through this, I just know it.

Hunter: Just like you. There’s a fire in your soul, in your eyes, that tells me the darkness is only a part and not what defines you.

Willow: Going poetic on me again, sir?

Hunter: I have an early deposition tomorrow, go to sleep, gorgeous.

August

Hunter: Congratulations, I loved the play. And your performance was my favorite part.

Willow: Thank you for the flowers. I should’ve known you were there.

Willow:I’m heading to LA for a couple of weeks. Wish me luck!

Hunter: Good luck!

Hunter: Can I ask the reason for the trip?

Willow: I have a workshop and two auditions my new agent got me.

Hunter: Wait, isn’t wishing good luck bad luck?

Willow: No, it’s sending good vibes.

Hunter: Safe travels!

Willow:I got a small part in a movie.

Hunter: When does shooting begin?

Willow: Tomorrow. They’re already filming. I’m replacing another actress.

Hunter: :smile emoji:

September

Willow: Happy Birthday!

Hunter: Thank you, gorgeous. Thank you for my present. I can’t believe you found a signed 1978 Star Wars poster.

Willow: I couldn’t believe it, either. I was in Venice Beach with Hazel when we walked into a collectibles store, and I just knew it was the perfect present.

Hunter: How’s L.A.?

Willow: Great, I auditioned for another movie part. It’s not theater, but I’m getting my name out there.

Hunter: Are you planning on staying there?

Willow: I’m heading back at the end of the year. Did I forget to mention I’m taking a couple of private classes?

Hunter: You mentioned that it’d be a couple of weeks. I’ve been wondering if you meant months.

Willow: It was a couple of weeks.

Hunter: What made you stay longer?

Willow: The movie role I landed. And one of the teachers who taught the workshop. Do you know Gabe Colt? He’s the best thing that’s happened to my career. He found me a different agent. I’m embarrassed to say it happened during a panic attack. His daughter runs an art academy in Washington, and it has an ancillary school just for acting here in Los Angeles. I only go three times a week and spend the other two days in vocal lessons and therapy. There’s a wonderful DBT clinic in town.

Willow: These are amazing steps toward a better life and successful career. I owe it to myself to stay until the end of the year.

Hunter: I’m happy to hear that, Willow.

Willow: I’m heading to class. Have a happy day!

Willow:How are you?

Willow: I’m thinking of you and your brothers. Call me if you need me.

Hunter:Sorry for not responding. It was nice to read your text. Thank you for it. It means a lot to know you remembered the anniversary of my parents’ death. I was with Fitz at a retreat for the week.

Willow: That explains the majestic pictures you added to the cloud. How was that day?

Hunter: Coping with their loss was harder than other years because I had no one to talk to, fight with, or fuck to release the pent-up emotion.

Hunter: But I felt by the end of the week that I had made progress. I miss my parents. But I am finally accepting they won’t come back. I’m working on cherishing them instead of replicating their lives.

Willow: So, no fighting and no sex, huh?

Hunter: Of course not. I was with male monks. The last time I checked I’m straight. Fitz and I couldn’t fight since we took a vow of silence.

Willow: How did Fitz survive not having sex with an all-male buffet?

Hunter: He’s not the manwhore he promotes himself to be.

Hunter: Enough about me,how are you?

Hunter: Are you there?

Willow:Sorry, I had to enter my class and got to meet a guy who owns a huge production company. The company is in Seattle, but he’s planning on opening a studio in New York. They make several movies a year. Their TV shows stream through their own cable channel, or is it the Internet? I have to ask again.

Hunter: You’re relocating?

Willow: This is the last time I say it. I’m coming back to New York.

Hunter: I was asking before there’s more miscommunication. We know how that can affect our relationship.

Willow: Actually, the introduction was because of my grandfather’s company. Not my acting skills. They need a commercial real estate agent.

Willow: Are we in a relationship?

Hunter: I believe this continuous exchange of pictures and texts makes us friends.

Willow: Well, friend, I’m going to lunch and then my next class.

October

Hunter: Your sister fixed me up with some actress and said you approved. What is wrong with you, Willow Beesley?

Willow: I set you up, not fixed you up.

Hunter: It’s the same. I don’t need a date, WILLOW BEESLEY. I can get my own dates if I wanted to.

Willow: It’s only for the Halloween Gala, Hunter Everhart. It’s not a formal date.

Willow: Why are you sending a selfie?

Hunter: It’s me sending you an annoyed glare. I don’t need a date for the gala.

Willow: Do whatever you want, just don’t come back with another Henrietta.

Hunter: I won’t, but I’m happy to know you’re jealous, gorgeous.

Hunter: The selfie of your middle finger looks lovely. Talk to you later. I have work to do.

Hunter: Cancel that fake date.

Willow:I hate when one person can ruin my entire day. Set me back and make me feel useless.

Hunger: Do you want to call me?

Willow: My father called me. My parents want to come visit us.

Hunter: I take it you don’t want that?

Willow: That too.

Hunter: Then what is the problem, gorgeous?

Willow: They’re only traveling to New York City for a couple of days. Father wants me to drop my obligations to visit them. I should “prioritize” according to him. My parents matter more than “my hobby.”

Willow: He called my career a hobby. I’m trying not to take it personally. He doesn’t know what I’ve gone through in the past year.

Willow:Thank you for the wall clock and the flowers.

Hunter: Don’t let anyone define you. That’s something only you are allowed to do for yourself.

Willow:I heard you met them.

Hunter: If by them you mean your parents, yes, I did.

Hunter: Your sister owes me. Hazel and your grandfather were conveniently out of town. I’m glad Harrison was able to switch their plane tickets, and they only stayed for a couple of hours. They are different.

Willow: Inappropriate?

Hunter: Scott is a stud. He could make beautiful babies with you.

Willow: How exciting they’re finding me a suitor. Anything else?

Hunter: Your mother suggested coconut oil to Fitz. It’s a great lubricant for anal.

Willow: Hazel owes all of you.

Hunter: Your sister mentioned something about visiting them next year.

Willow: As I told her, it all depends on how I feel by then. Thank you for picking up my parents.

Hunter: Anything for you, gorgeous.

November

Hunter: If you had a choice to live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Willow: Anywhere?

Hunter: Yes, anywhere.

Willow: That’s complicated. I’ve discovered that I enjoy traveling. Camping is fun. My life is in New York though. What about you?

Hunter: I want to slow down. I’m attached to the city because my parents were born and raised here. My brothers live here. Fleeing is an option, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay away. Most importantly, where do I go?

Willow: Brooklyn.

Hunter: Brooklyn?

Willow: Yes, by the Hudson River. You can buy a property outside New York or maybe by the beach. Travel. See the world. You’re not even thirty, go and explore.

Hunter: Do you want to come with me?

Fitz:What did you do?

Willow: Me?

Fitz: Hunter is taking time off to travel the world. He said, “Willow thinks it’s a great idea.” Do you actually think it’s a good idea? It’s a terrible idea. I have a law firm to run.

Willow: I didn’t do anything. Maybe you should go with him. Take a break from corporate America. I’m sure you can afford to hire people to cover for you.

Hunter:What did you do?

Willow: Apparently, I have the ability to create havoc at the Everhart place. What did I do now, Hunt?

Hunter: My brothers want my schedule so they can join me at a few stops. I wanted to do this alone.

Willow: Are you doing it then?

Hunter: Yes, six months away. Two of them in Tibet. I’ll post the pictures in the group your sister opened on Facebook.

Willow: #Tripping

Willow: Hazel is driving me crazy with her new social media obsession.

Hunter: I told you, she’s that annoying little sister who is so much fun you can’t hate her.

Willow: Enjoy your trip. I’m going to Costa Rica for Thanksgiving. You can reach me via Facebook.

Hunter: Next time we should travel together.

Willow: Where would we go?

Hunter: We can discuss it when we are living in the same city again.

Willow: Take care of yourself, Hunt.

December

Willow: Your brothers mentioned you went directly to Tibet, but the charms and magnets from different cities you’re mailing me tell a different story. Why?

Willow: Hello? Are you freezing me out?

Willow: The kettle and herbs from Japan are a good indication that you’re still alive.

Willow: Are you reading these texts? Maybe not. I love the pictures you’re uploading on our cloud. What’s with the beard?

Willow: Thank you for the Christmas presents. You’re right, miniature art is great for keepsakes and a place like NYC. Hope you had a nice holiday.

January

Willow: I have an audition next week. Wish me luck!

Willow: I’m still wondering how you don’t respond, and yet, you answer my texts with presents. Thank you for the four-leaf clover pendant and the note.

Willow: Guess what? I got the part. It’s a small production, but it works perfectly with the sitcom I’ll be filming this Spring.

Willow: What? A Sitcom? Yes, Hunter. Remember I was studying under Gabe Colt? Well, his son is setting up the studios and has a couple of shows that are going to be filmed here in New York. I went to an audition and got the part. She’s the best friend of the main character. I’m using my inner Hazel to play this character. My sister isn’t amused. It’s going to be great.

Willow: I have a temporary position at Everhart Industries. Scott needed a receptionist, and I could use the extra money. Hazel is worried I’m going to crack. I’m worried, too, but I’m holding it together.

Willow: I might have had a meltdown yesterday in the elevator. I’m never riding one ever again. It was a minor setback. I need running shoes.

Willow: Thank you for the running shoes.

Willow: Hazel wants to visit our parents after graduation. I told her she’s on her own.

Willow: Hazel thinks it’s time for us to be the grown-ups and look after them. The mere thought of having to deal with them confuses me. It’s helping me learn how to deal with my mood swings though.

Willow: I’m still thinking about the visit with my parents. Do I want to see them?

Willow: You haven’t posted anything on the cloud. Should I assume the Tibetan temple is your last destination for a while?

February

Willow: I can’t deal with the idea of seeing my parents.

Willow: I wish you were available so we could talk about a few things. My therapist asking, “But how do you feel about it?” is not helping at the moment.

Willow: Gramps had bronchitis. I didn’t even know he was asthmatic. Hazel said he’s been hospitalized a few times. I feel guilty for not being around them.

Willow: Someone stopped me on my way to the subway. I thought I had lost something, nope. She asked me for my autograph.

Willow: Two requests for autographs in a week is a good sign, isn’t it?

Willow: Scott went out with the same girl twice. We’re calling it progress.

Willow: I lost a bet. I thought Scott would last with Roxanne for at least five dates. They didn’t even finish the third.

Willow: Hazel met a guy. I wish you were here to bet on how many dates they’ll go on before it goes south.

Willow: Being reasonable is one of my goals. As in trying to understand others before you go and lose control. It was hard to keep in mind when it was snowing and another woman tried to take my cab. She fucking punched me and split my lip. The therapist told me to distract myself from the emotional pain—there was no emotional pain, my fucking lip was throbbing.

Willow: Hazel brought me ice cream to dissipate the pain.

Willow: Today was a bad day. Those practice skills my therapist insists I use didn’t work. It was during an audition. I had my lines memorized and they said that the role I was auditioning for had already been cast. The pressure in my chest became unbearable. I left the place without uttering a word. Now that I think about it, I should’ve stayed and tried for the other role they offered. I just couldn’t control the anger. I felt betrayed, which now that I see things clearly, makes no sense.

Willow: Some days going on forums to read stories of other people with my disorder is devastating. Others, I feel like I’m not alone.

March

Willow: I wish I stayed at home today. Exposing myself to emotions I can’t tolerate, but having to tolerate, is like performing hara-kiri. But I can only learn how to cope with the emotional turmoil if I experience them and learn to tolerate them. The paradigm.

Willow: Life is a sequence of ironies. I got a script for a movie about a woman with BPD. Playing the best friend of the main character didn’t appeal to me. I had to decline it. I honestly didn’t read it. What’s the point when the beauty of my job is escaping reality?

Willow: I said the wrong words during therapy. I noticed I texted them to you, too. My love for acting isn’t only about the escape from reality.

Willow: Hazel ended things with the guy she started dating last month. I should stop betting. I was hoping she’d have broken things off after the second date. He seemed too boring for her.

Willow: Hazel went to a wedding in North Carolina, and she took Scott as her plus one. Gramps and I went to DC where it’s warmer.

Willow: I’m going to save enough money so when I grow old, I can live in a warmer place.

Willow: I miss your pictures, when are you coming back?

Willow: I’m searching for a place inside myself where I can be fully functional. It appears to be harder than it sounds. But I believe I’m progressing.

Willow: After browsing through all our texts, I fear I’m boring you. I should’ve told you more about Fitz’s hysterical dates.

Willow: Scott and Gramps are fighting for who is going to keep Hazel once she graduates. Did you know Scott is the one who pulled a few favors so Hazel could transfer schools right away?

Willow: I can’t deal with the idea of seeing my parents. It came up again during dinner, and Gramps agrees we should see them. Ugh, help.

Willow: My therapist says I’m at that stage where I have to deal with my emotions and traumatic experiences from the past. Hazel’s idea to visit my parents might not be so bad.

Willow: Correction, the visit is a terrible idea. But I will have to deal with it.

Willow: Despite everything, I’m content.

April

Hunter: Happy Birthday!

Willow: You’re alive!

Hunter: Of course. How are you, gorgeous?

Willow: Happy to hear from you. When are you coming back?

Hunter: It all depends on when I’m done with work.

Willow: Wait, work?

Hunter: I’m making a few stops to meet with a few prospects and our current clientele.

Willow: Come back soon.

Hunter: I’ll try my best. Keep texting. I enjoy hearing from you. Are you still avoiding elevators?

Willow: No. Fitz and Hazel dragged me through the city riding elevators.

Hunter: What happened to visiting your parents over the summer?

Willow: The debate is continuous. She’s convincing Fitz to join us.

Hunter: Overall, how is today?

Willow: It’s a good day. We’re having a fancy dinner at my grandfather’s. Your brothers will be there.

Hunter: I’m glad this is a good day. Keep me updated and have a wonderful day.

Willow: You too, thank you for remembering.

May

Hazel: My graduation is next week. I’d love it if you could be here.

Hunter: I can’t, buttercup. Unless you remind Fitz that slavery is frowned upon in most countries.

Hazel: He says it’s up to you.

Hunter: Yes, if I go to your graduation, I have to come back to finish the rest of my international affairs.

Hazel: You’re having an affair?

Hunter: You’re ridiculous.

Hazel: That’s why I’m your favorite person.

Hunter: Sorry to break it to you, but Willow is my favorite person in the entire world.

Hazel: I know. You should tell her.

Hunter:Did your sister get her graduation present?

Willow: Yes, you’re the best. I’ve never been to France. Thank you for including me.

Hunter: That’s the plan. I want to see all those #travelingsisters or is it #sisterfun? I can’t remember.

Willow: Stop encouraging her.

Willow: Did she tell you we are going to Brazil at the end of June to visit our parents?

Hunter: Are you ready for that?

Willow: I don’t think I’ll ever be ready, but it’s time to face them. I have so many questions.

Hunter: Everything will be fine. Trust me.