Boost by Vi Summers

 

Chapter 48

-Raf-

 

 

“What did he do to you, baby girl?”

My question sent a flash of unreadable emotion through Greer’s mocha eyes. It killed me to ask, but I needed to know. I needed to know what he did to her so I never repeated his mistakes. I knew it ran deeper than the candid overview she gave me earlier.

A sense of panic flooded my veins as Greer began to unlace her fingers from mine. I held on for as long as I could before they tugged apart.

Regaling Greer with my past had torn my soul wide open, and the moment she stepped up to me and demanded that I get a fucking grip, she became the surgeon to mesh me back together. The deep-seated ache hadn’t left, but at least now it was a little more endurable.

“It’s nothing compared to what you, your mom and your sister went through.”

That shot me like a bullet at point blank.

“That doesn’t mean that your shit doesn’t matter. Please, share with me so I can just… be here for you.”

Tears glistened in her eyes as she shook her head so subtly I would have missed it if I wasn’t studying her every move. My desire to hear her story, to comfort her in any way I could, was a new impulse for me. Normally, I wouldn’t give a fuck because it wasn’t my problem, but with Greer… Shit. I ached to ease her burden and to comprehend her experiences, because they had shaped her into the successful woman she was today. The one that had taken my heart and made it hers. The one that I fell for without an ounce of control.

“It’s so hard to talk about,” Greer whispered.

Erasing the distance she’d put between us, I took her face between my hands and lowered my forehead to hers.

“You really meant what you said just before?” She nodded against me. “Then, open up to me. There’s nothing you could tell me that would shock me. Trust, remember.”

I pressed a soft, lingering kiss to her mouth and retreated before the consuming urge rose to strip her naked again. Instead, I took her hand and guided her to the couch. A spear of rejection cut through me when she detoured to the single chair she’d folded herself in while I spilled the ugliness of my past. However, when she looked at me with a wavering smile and watery eyes, I understood the need for space. Fuck—I’d wanted the same mere minutes ago.

I fidgeted. I knew I wasn’t going to like what I was about to hear, and that made me twitchy and unable to get comfortable. On an exasperated huff, I sat forward again and braced my elbows on my knees. I stilled the nanosecond Greer began to speak.

“It wasn’t beatings, but it still hurt. We moved in together after college, and I took a gap year to figure out what I wanted to do. At first I enjoyed it a little rough during-”

“You can say it, mamacita. You liked rough sex. Who doesn’t,” I stated a-matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, and I still do.” Her smile turned genuine for a second before fading again. “It started off good between Bryce and I; the play was only limited to the bedroom. But one day he took it a step too far by biting my nipple so hard I lashed out from the unexpected pain. Looking back, I should have packed my bags and left that day—it was the day our relationship took a turn for the worst.

“I accidentally slapped him across the side of the head, and I’ll never forget the instant hatred I saw in his eyes. It was as if I’d hit a switch and he’d instantly become a different person. He pressed his hand to my mouth and nose until I fought to breathe. He seemed to get a kick out of it, and he was extra rough while we had sex that night—covering my face for longer each time and making me fight harder for air as the episode went on.”

A bitter ball of dread clenched in my stomach. I saw the writing on the wall, but was unable to stop Greer purging her suffering.

“Afterward we were in the bathroom together and he came up behind me and slapped me across the back of the head. When I cried out and asked him what the hell he was doing, he laughed and said I’d done it to him, so he was making it even.

“He didn’t touch me or look at me for the rest of the night, but in the morning woke me with a coffee and breakfast, apologizing profusely for his actions. He was so caring…”

Greer stopped and bit back the emotions that poured from her soul. It had me clamping down on my own reactions and running a hand over my face in disbelief.

“Would you like a drink?” I offered. “Another tequila?

“No, but thank you. I’ve had enough, and I just want to get this over with.”

I hummed. I knew that feeling.

“For the next few days it was fine; even our sex returned to normal. I mean, I was happy—we seemed happy again. But then he went to the pub that weekend and came home drunk... I wouldn’t go so far as classing it as rape, but it wasn’t pleasant.”

“Fuck, Greer!” I snapped to my feet and paced to the window and back to get my anger in-check. Her recount was making me feel physically ill and helpless—two things I couldn’t handle.

“Should I stop?”

I cut my gaze back to her face, stricken with worry over my emotional state. Shaking my head, I leaned over her briefly to drop a kiss to the top of her head, then withdrew back to the couch.

“No, baby girl. As long as you’re okay, then continue.”

Greer gave a small nod, tucked her knees up, and wrapped her arms around them. It made her look so small, so fragile, but her voice held renewed strength.

“The next day was the same—he woke up late, hungover and feeling sorry for himself, then even more sorry when he remembered that he’d spanked me until I bruised. I couldn’t sit comfortably for almost a week.”

The already dark cloud above my head blackened impossibly further. This cunt needed a serious fucking beating.

“He groveled and apologized, excusing his actions by saying it was the rum he’d been bought by a friend, and that, of course, it wouldn’t happen again. Fuck, saying this all out-loud makes me feel like such a fool. I didn’t see all the warning signs, even when they were right in front of my face. I was so naïve!”

“You were young, Greer,” I reasoned.

She hummed. “Eighteen-nineteen. Anyway, over the next few weeks I walked on egg-shells around him, consciously taking extra care to not do or say anything that could upset him. That worked up until I got my period and denied him sex. He took it anyway, berated me for making a mess over the sheets, belittled me for having blood all down my thighs, and ranted about how disgusting I was. He refused to sleep in our bed that night, instead took the couch. Come morning, I expected things to have smoothed over again, but it was like he festered in anger overnight and still couldn’t stand the sight of me in the morning.

“That’s when the shoving and yanking me around started. He began to pinch the tender skin under my arms and between my legs. Or, grab the little roll on my waist and squeezing until I yelped. I still remember the wickedness in his laugh. That was when it really started to scare me.”

I rose to my feet again and brought her back a bottle of water from the fridge—anything to distance myself from her torment while letting her know that I cared for her beyond words could describe.

She accepted it with a grateful smile and took a sip. “The biting only got worse, and whatever he did, he did it in places that were hidden under my clothes. In a way, the physical abuse was easiest to hide—it was the mental abuse that really tore me down. The degrading things he said to me, called me, made me do…” She looked away and blinked hard. A tear broke free but was quickly dashed away.

“I’d known him in high-school and I still can’t believe he treated me the way he did after being so sweet to begin with. I’m so thankful that Charmaine—the friend who waited tables with me—found me in the bathroom that day. The previous night had been horrific… He came home and demanded sex. Took me from behind while pulling on my hair so damn hard it put my neck out, all the while spanking me and telling me how he’d been fucking another woman behind my back since we left school. All the resentment, the anger, the intolerance… it suddenly all made sense.”

My chest burned to the point I had to breathe away another wash of nausea. Unable to stand her being out of reach any longer, I erased the short space between us and dropped to my knees between her feet.

“Don’t you dare go making excuses for him. You’re breaking my heart, baby girl, tell me how I can fix this.”

She shook her head. “Just listening—knowing what I went through—is enough. I would have told you at some point down the track once our relationship became serious, but I’m glad it’s now, rather than later.”

I forced a swallow and took her tear-streaked face in my hands. “What I saw my mamá go through, and the fear I felt as a kid… as soul-destroying as it was, it sure as fuck taught me right from wrong. And I swear to you, Greer, I will never ever do anything to you that makes you feel unsafe or that you don’t want me to do.”

Much to my surprise, Greer smiled. “I already know that you won’t.”

I pulled back a fraction and studied her. “How?”

Strength regathered in her expression. “The time I told you not to bite my neck when we first kissed, you immediately stopped, no questions asked. Just like when I said no spanking, you didn’t do it again. No complaint, nor question why, and I never had to tell you twice.”

Fuck, she was breaking me. “It’s called respecting your body, baby girl. Some of my morals may be lacking, but that ain’t one of them.”

A sob burst from her mouth. Greer hid her face in her hands and released a harrowing cry that chilled the blood throughout my entire body. It liquefied my bones and pulled the world out of focus. I tucked her against my chest and secured her there with a fierce embrace. She still undid me, even at her lowest.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry you went through all that.”

I ignored the burn building behind my knee caps. I pushed aside the cramps twinging in my lower back. I welcomed the collar of my t-shirt being stretched as she fisted it, because it all meant that I was right where she needed me to be. Right there with her. Healing her after she’d freed me from the silent demons within my own head.

In a sudden movement that made every enduring pain worth it, Greer slung her arms around my shoulders and pulled me into her with a force that I squashed my nose against her neck.

“Thank you,” she murmured thickly, close to my ear. “You have no idea how much I needed to tell you that.”

I kissed the soft skin under my lips and inhaled deeply. She smelled subtly different after crying. More natural. Saltier.

“You own me,” I whispered.

Greer’s squeeze eased after a silent minute. “Would you have told me?”

The breath froze in my lungs. “About?”

“What happened with your dad?”

Deliberations ricocheted back and forth in my head. Tearing. Dividing. Lies and confessions at war. After countless seconds of losing myself to her pulse thumping against my lips, I shook my head and slowly pulled away.

“I’m sorry, baby, because honestly? I don’t know that I would have.”

Greer’s face dropped before she restored an impartial expression. “See; honesty. That’s all I ask for, and I also understand why you would have kept it to yourself.”

Desperation knitted my brow. Of all the words spoken today, I was most scared of losing her within this moment. “Greer-”

I halted when one finger appeared between us. “It’s fine, I promise. Just… give me a moment.”

Each deep breath and carefully controlled exhale Greer worked through cut me down lower than ever. I couldn't lose her like this. Not after struggling through the mountain of other shit. Surely, surely, this wouldn’t be the one thing to break us apart once and for all.

“Fuck me.”

I jolted. “Excuse me?”

Greer’s intense stare imprinted on my innermost core. Her eyes never wavered as she repeated her demand with infinitely more force.

“I need you to fuck me.”

I immediately understood; fuck away the bullshit. Fuck the slate clean. Fuck us back to the place we were on the weekend. Before our pasts came back to destroy our future. Revealing secrets that, for me, equated to a one-way ticket directly to Hell.

As the shock wore off, a wicked smirk wove across my mouth. I was rewarded by Greer’s breath shallowing.

“How bad do you want it?”

Her fingers grappled at my belt as she hissed, “Stupid fucking question,” through her teeth.

Miraculously finding a sliver of restraint, I clamped my hands around her wrists to halt her.

“Slow.”

“What?” she snapped.

“Never thought I’d say this, mamacita, but this time’s gotta be gentle, for both our sakes.”

Anticipation darkened her irises, and she bit down on her lower lip, sending the temperature of my blood sky-fucking-high.

“Like, make love?”

I snorted dryly. “When you put it like that, it makes me sound like a fucking pussy.”

Melodic laughter caught me off-guard and burst through my heart. “Let me rephrase; like, fuck me slowly?”

My smirk pulled into a shit-eating grin. “Yeah, baby. Fuck you slowly, and thoroughly.”

Greer melted to the floor beside me and pulled me on top of her. While hunger fueled our movements, passion tempered the haste.

For the first time in all my thirty-one-year life span, I laid claim to the woman who owned me on every level by worshiping her body at an excruciating slow pace, with one thought on repeat in my head; voodoo. Fucking. Pussy.