Fox by Harley Wylde
Chapter Eight
Fox
She’d agreed to be mine. I needed to call Church and take it to the table. I had a feeling Spider would chew me the fuck out. I’d not only told her she was as good as mine if that’s what she wanted, but Hatchet would probably lose his shit when he found out. He’d discovered he had a daughter less than a week ago, and now I’d gone and claimed her. If our roles were reversed, I’d be ready to rip the fucker’s head off.
Raven had insisted on her putting her things in my room. Our room. She’d fallen asleep pressed against me and seeing the peaceful look on her face gave me hope one day she’d find a way to move past the trauma she’d suffered. I knew it would always be there, lurking in the back of her mind, and something would inevitably set her off, but I’d help her through it. I placed my hand on her belly. I wanted her to keep the baby, even though it made me a selfish asshole. On the off chance she never let me touch her that way, it would be our only opportunity to have a child.
I reached for my phone on the bedside table and realized I had some missed calls and texts. I scrolled through the messages, then listened to the voicemail from the doctor’s office. I should have thought to check in with the clinic sooner. I’d known they’d run tests but hadn’t realized we’d have the results so fast. The clinic had run a rapid test to check for STDs and she was in the clear. Thank fuck! Poor girl had enough to deal with already.
Deleting the message, I opened my texts and pulled up Spider’s name. Need to call Church.
I hit SEND and hadn’t expected a response until the morning. The fact he answered almost right away meant Marianna wasn’t having a good night. Something must have happened. Their precious girl had Asperger’s and sometimes what the rest of us took in stride would be just the thing to send her spiraling.
Something wrong with Raven?
Did I really want to tell him I wanted to claim Raven? He had enough to deal with tonight.
She’s fine. Sleeping next to me.
Shit. Probably should have left off that last part.
Call me. NOW.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I dialed Spider and eased out of bed, not wanting to wake Raven. I walked down the hall and to the living room, sitting down on the couch. When he picked up, I could hear Marianna in the background and winced.
“This could have waited,” I said. “You have your hands full.”
“That little shit Luka set her off.” He sighed. “It’s not his fault. Kid doesn’t understand. He knows Marianna is different, but…”
“Knowing and understanding are two different things,” I said.
“Right. Now, tell me why the fuck Raven was in bed with you. She’s been through hell, and you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself?”
I tried to bite my tongue. I really did. And I failed. “You mean the way you fucked Luciana the first day she was in your house?
Had I been sitting in the kitchen, I’d have smacked my head on the table in an effort to knock some sense into myself. Shit. The Pres was going to be pissed as fuck, and I had it coming.
“You trying to tell me Raven asked you to fuck her?” I wasn’t fooled. His voice might sound calm, but had Spider been in front of me, he’d likely have thrown me into the wall. “Because that girl doesn’t speak and looks scared of her own shadow.”
“Actually, she does speak. We’ve talked quite a bit. In fact, she’s the one who decided she wanted to be mine. I may have offered, but she let me know it’s what she wants. And I haven’t touched her. Not in the way you think. I’ve kissed her, which she allowed and even instigated, but that’s it.”
Spider groaned. “Hatchet is going to have your balls.”
“Then it’s a good thing Raven is pregnant, or I’d never have a chance to have a kid.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. I either needed sleep, or alcohol. Possibly both. Where the fuck was the filter on my mouth? Or my brain for that matter. I needed to shut the hell up.
“She’s pregnant?” he asked softly. “Shit. How’d she take the news? Or did she know already?”
“She wasn’t aware until we saw the doctor today. I have no idea what she wants to do. I told her if she’d like to keep the baby, I’ll raise it as my own. And if she decides not to keep the baby, I’ll support her decision.”
“That girl has traveled a long, hard road and can’t seem to catch a break,” he said. “I have no issue with you claiming her, but since Breaker is the one who pulled her out of that shithole, he should have a chance to vote. I’ll call Church after everyone has had a chance to get some sleep. For your sake, and hers, I hope everyone is in agreement with Raven being yours.”
“Same here, Pres.”
“How’s she doing?” Spider asked.
“Other than the misunderstanding Luciana helped solve?”
I heard a soft growl. “What misunderstanding?”
Goddamnit! I closed my eyes and slammed my head against the back of the couch. “Her first night here, she didn’t want to sleep alone. I didn’t sleep naked or anything, and explained I had a tendency to get hard overnight and thought it would be best if I didn’t share the bed with her. She insisted. I woke up with her jerking me off, and then she panicked.”
“Motherfucker! You didn’t think I needed to know about that?”
“I didn’t realize Luciana had come over without telling you. I thought what happened freaked out Raven. Turns out, she thought touching me in my sleep was the same as what the guards had done to her. She’d horrified herself, believing she was no better than them. We got it sorted once I realized why she’d curled up to make herself small.”
Spider made a humming sound. “So, she decided to play with your dick while you slept. Sounds like she needed to prove something to herself.”
“She did. We talked about it after Luciana left. I told her my dick wasn’t going to get hard and I’d turn into some sort of beast who’d pinned her down and hurt her. She realized it had nothing to do with anatomy and more with the person, or in the case of the guards and those asshole cowboys, the monsters.”
“It sounds like you’ve been good for her.”
“I’d like to think so. We went to the doctor, then ate at the diner. Afterward, I took her shopping for more clothes and shoes. She didn’t want to spend my money, but I didn’t give her a choice. It wore her out, though, so we can home after.”
I heard Marianna get louder and winced. I felt sorry for Spider and Luciana on nights like this one. Usually, one or both of them could calm her, but sometimes it lasted for hours until the poor girl wore herself out. I knew they adored her and took it all in stride, but it had to be exhausting after a while.
It made me wonder what our baby would be like, if Raven decided to keep it. I’d need to fix a nursery for him or her. We’d still need a guest room, in case Hatchet came to visit, and the house only had one other room. At the moment, I’d been using it for storage.
“Spider, I don’t want to necessarily move, but I may need more space.”
“Let’s see how Church goes tomorrow, then we’ll talk. Are you thinking about adding on? Or do you want to take Raven to see the two new homes?”
“You don’t think anyone will be pissed if I claim one of them?” I asked.
“Son, you’re the VP and one day, you’ll be stepping up to take over my position. No one is going to say shit about you taking one of the new homes. And if they do, just knock their damn teeth down their throats and remind them where they stand.”
I snorted. “All right. After Church, I’ll ask Raven if she’d like to look at a different house. If she wants to keep this one, maybe I can add on or something. You know Hatchet will want to visit, and I’d like to have a few kids, if Raven is up for it.”
“Go snuggle with your woman. I think my little hellion is calming down so I’m about to do the same. I’ll put out the call sometime after ten. You know damn well the boys partying at the clubhouse tonight won’t fall into bed until after four in the morning.”
“In that case, maybe we need to have Church at four-thirty just to fuck with them.”
Spider laughed. “If I thought I could get my ass out of bed that early, I would. I’m getting lazy in my old age.”
I heard Luciana in the background going off in Spanish and smiled. Every time Spider said something about being old, she went off on him. Far as she was concerned, he was perfect. I’d always liked seeing the two of them together. Luciana smoothed Spider’s rough edges, and he gave her the kindness and gentle touch she’d never experienced before coming here. Despite the fact he was roughly forty years older than her, they made it work.
“Uh, Pres. Any idea how old Hatchet is?” I asked.
He chuckled. “Younger than you.”
Fuck. My. Life. He was going to kill me when he found out I’d claimed Raven. The good shit in life never came without a cost, and I’d pay any price to have her in my life. At least I could prepare myself for whenever Hatchet graced us with his presence.
“Better call Hatchet. Give him a heads-up,” Spider said. “Don’t want him hearing anything secondhand.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m on it.”
I disconnected the call and scrolled through my call history. I found the number Hatchet had called from and saved it to my phone. Before I changed my mind, I hit SEND and put the phone to my ear, listening to it ring. I didn’t know where he was right now, or what time it would be at his location.
He didn’t even bother with a hello when he picked up.
“What’s wrong with my daughter?” Hatchet asked.
“Why does something have to be wrong?”
“You’re calling in the middle of the night. If there’s nothing wrong, why didn’t you wait until morning?”
I tipped my head back and shut my eyes, fighting off the headache building between my eyes. “Because there are some things we need to discuss, and I’d rather do it when Raven isn’t listening. She heard part of my conversation with you before. Sneaky little thing is so quiet I didn’t realize she was eavesdropping.”
He chuckled. “Gets her stealth from her dad.”
“She’s talking now. To me anyway. I’ve gotten to know quite a bit about her since she decided to move into my house the other night.”
“What’s my girl talking about?” he asked, sounding genuinely curious.
“A little about what she’s afraid of, but mostly we’ve just talked about normal shit. What she likes to eat, that sort of thing. Went to the doctor today.” I went silent for a minute, debating if I should tell him. “I don’t know what she’s going to decide, and I told her she has my support either way, but… she’s pregnant, Hatchet. Had to be one of the guards at Balmoral.”
If I hadn’t heard him breathing, I’d have checked to see if the call dropped. I didn’t know how long it would take him to gather his thoughts, or for his anger to fade, so I filled the void.
“Took her to the diner today. She made fun of me for ordering two pieces of pie.” I smiled. “She laughed at me. Like full-on laughed until she cried.”
Hatchet huffed, but I could hear the emotion behind it. “I’m glad she found something to smile about. Fuck knows she hasn’t much of a reason to.”
“Took her shopping for more clothes. She didn’t want to spend my money, so I dumped about twenty bras into the cart. Everything she picked up, I added ten more. She has a decent wardrobe now, and several pair of shoes. Need to get her some decent motorcycle boots, though.”
“Did you just say you bought her bras? As in you picked them out?” Hatchet asked, his voice going soft.
“About that…” Moment of truth. Just how pissed would he be over my news? “Spider is calling Church in the morning. I’m asking the club to vote. Raven agreed to be mine.”
“Are you fucking shitting me? I just found out I have a daughter and you’re already taking her from me before I even get a chance to meet her?” he asked.
“I didn’t plan it. Hatchet, she’s amazing. So strong. Beautiful. She’s the sweetest woman I’ve ever met, and the only one who’s ever made me want to hold on tight and never let go. I understand if you want to kick my ass whenever you get here, but I won’t let her go.”
“Sounds to me like you love her,” he said after a moment of silence. “Do you?”
I hadn’t really thought about it. Did I? Sure, I felt more for her than I ever had for someone before. Was it love?
“Do you know what love feels like?” he asked.
“No. At least, not that sort of love.”
He grunted. “You’ll figure it out. I took care of those cowboys and tracked down a few others with a bit of help. I’m not too far from you right now. As much as I’d rather see my little girl after I’ve taken out all the men who hurt her, I don’t think I can wait anymore.”
“We have a guest room. It’s all yours whenever you want to stop by.”
“Fox, I know you’re the VP of your club, but if you hurt my little girl, I’ll make sure they never find your body.”
“Wouldn’t expect anything less. But for the record, I’d sooner die than hurt her. She’s my everything. Might seem fast, and I guess we really don’t know much about each other, but I will treat her like a fucking queen.”
“All I needed to hear. Don’t tell her I’m coming. Not sure she’ll be too excited to see me. No telling what her mom has said about me over the years. Poisonous bitch!”
We talked another few minutes before I hung up and went back to bed. Raven had rolled to her other side and curled into a ball. A slight tremor raked her small frame and I slid into bed next to her, pulling her back against my chest. I held her close.
I didn’t know what nightmare had her in its grip, but it clearly wasn’t good. I wished I had a way to ensure she only had happy dreams. Bad enough she suffered during the day. At night, she should get a reprieve.
“I’ve got you, sweetheart. You’re safe,” I whispered. “No one will hurt you again.”
She started to calm, and the tension eased from her body. I placed my hand on her belly, holding her still. She whimpered and wiggled a bit. It had the unfortunate effect of making my dick hard, and I tried to pull my hips away from the curve of her ass. Raven cried out, bolting upright, her chest heaving and her eyes wide with fright.
“Hey!” I ran my hand down her hair. “It’s okay. I’m right here.”
She turned to me, tears shimmering in her eyes. “I’m tired of being afraid. I hate that other than a few kisses with you, I don’t have anything pleasant to associate with sex. When I close my eyes, the darkness creeps in and I don’t have anything to use against it. I can’t think of a single happy memory that’s big enough to win over the despair.”
My heart broke at her words and the anguish on her face. I’d do anything for her, give her anything. I hadn’t lied to Hatchet. Raven was my entire world. I might not know what love felt like, but she’d had me wrapped around her finger since the moment I met her. She’d wormed her way past my defenses.
“What do you need from me? Whatever it is, just ask.”
She reached down and took my hand, then yanked it toward her, placing it over her breast. I tensed and stopped breathing. I stared at my fingers curving over the soft mound under her nightgown and couldn’t figure out if I should pull away or let her do what she wanted.
“Um, Raven.”
“Please, Josh.”
It was the use of my name that made my resolve crumble. I pulled her down, lying her on her back, and leaned up on my elbow. I slid my hand down her belly, then up again, letting my fingers lightly trace the underside of her breast. She trembled but looked up at me with complete trust. It gutted me. My sweet, broken girl hadn’t been given any reason to trust men, but from the first day we’d met, she’d chosen me as her protector. What if she needed to be saved from herself? I didn’t know if this would be a good idea, but I couldn’t deny her.
“You want me to stop at any time, you tell me. Understood?” I asked.
She nodded and placed her hand over mine. “I know it’s you here with me. Seeing your face will keep me grounded. It’s when I close my eyes that the darkness creeps in.”
“How far do you want this to go, Raven? If you have boundaries in mind, I need to know them now.”
She took my hand and slipped it under the hem of her nightgown. “I trust you completely, Josh. I don’t know if I’ll panic at some point, but don’t stop until that happens. I need this. It’s the only way I think I’ll heal.”
I ran my fingers back and forth across her stomach, slowly inching them upward. Cupping the soft mound of her breast, I swiped my thumb across her nipple. Her eyes went wide, and her cheeks flushed. The peak hardened, as did the other side. I didn’t see panic in her eyes, so I explored a little more, taking my time and moving slow.
Getting to my knees, I straddled her thighs, pausing to see how she’d react. She watched me but didn’t seem scared or nervous. I inched the hem of her nightgown up until I’d uncovered her breasts. Raven leaned up, letting me pull the garment all the way off.
“Still okay, sweetheart?” I asked.
She nodded and reached out a hand, cupping my cheek. I turned my face into her palm and pressed a kiss there before focusing on her again. She’d been okay with me touching her. How would she react if I put my mouth somewhere other than her lips? I leaned down, giving her time to move away or tell me to stop. My lips brushed the skin of her stomach, and I flicked my tongue against the softness.
Raven gasped and I glanced up, making sure it hadn’t been from fear. Need burned in her eyes. I kissed my way up her torso until I took one of her nipples into my mouth. Giving it a tug, I sucked the hard bud. I gently bit down and lashed it with my tongue, making her cry out and buck underneath me.
“Oh, God! Josh!”
I drew back, not sure if she wanted me to keep going or stop. “Still doing okay?”
“Yes. Yes! Please… I… I liked what you were doing.”
“Not scared? Anxious? Having flashbacks?”
Her eyes darkened a moment. “They never did anything like this. All I ever got from any of them was my pants yanked down and them taking what they wanted. This is different. Mostly because it’s you, but also because you’re trying to make me feel good.”
I smile at her. “Only trying?”
Her cheeks pinked even more. “No, not just trying. It did feel good.”
“We can stop right now if you want.”
She shook her head. “I want to see how far we can go without me freezing up. Is that all right?”
I bent down to kiss her on the lips. “Sweetheart, for you, I’d do anything. Only thing I can’t do is stop coming in the middle of an orgasm, but I can damn sure pull out if I need to.”
“I want to try, Josh. I need to.”
I kissed her again and settled my weight over her. I felt her hands on my back, and I vowed I’d do whatever it took to make this good for her.