Seth by Nero Seal

The sky hung low,swathed in clouds. When the air shifted, silver moonlight peeked through. Surrounded by the solid, wooden fence, the perimeter of the future building carried the physical echoes of daily activity. The mounds of clay and sand lay around the stripped-off topsoil layer, outlining the future foundation pit.

Ignaz slept in the car, parked next to the gates. Even though the sand bed had been laid out for two hours, Seth hesitated to wake him up. Dark circles outlined his eyes, skin tightened over his gaunt face, and even his lips had dried and lost their color. Still, Seth couldn’t stop looking. Ignaz was so beautiful, so perfect. He didn’t want to kill him, not when he’d finally found him. He couldn’t understand why the whimsical fate played such a tasteless joke. Seth reached over the driver’s seat and ran the back of his palm over Ignaz’s cheek. He could almost see the streams of energy leaving his frail body with every breath.

Why do they always choose someone else? Why do they always leave? Now Ignaz also chooses death over me. Maybe he wasn’t the one, after all.

It felt like a curse put on him centuries ago when gods walked the earth and people erected temples in their names. He couldn’t remember his previous lives, but he knew the god from his dreams had never been happy, had never known the bliss of loyalty and mutual love. He had only known betrayal.

Under his touch, Ignaz stirred. Heavy eyelids opened and closed as if the gesture caused him immense pain and effort. “Did we arrive?”

“Yes.”Seth’s fingers curled in a fist. A part of him considered sedating Ignaz, keeping him locked away, safe and warm, where no one would ever hurt him. It would be so easy to do. Just stab his shoulder with a drug and drive home. They would never have to part again. Maybe, just maybe, Ignaz would learn to be happy.

Instead, Seth got out of the car, pulled the rear passenger door open, and carefully scooped the weightless body into his arms. He couldn’t believe how quickly vitality abandoned Ignaz; he looked as if a terminal illness gnawed at him.

“Where are we going?” Slender arms clasped around his neck, bandaged wrists rubbing at his shoulders.

“Not far.” Loose soil dipped under his steps as Seth carried the boy away from the gate toward the line of machinery. He bypassed the crane, and the surroundings lightened. The towers standing on the other side of the Danube River couldn’t provide much light to illuminate the perimeter, but it was enough for Seth to watch his steps.

He stepped into the future foundation pit, approached the sand bed he’d carefully laid out on the large plastic film in the middle of it, and lowered the boy onto it. His fingers worked fast as he undressed Ignaz, loosened the bandages around his wrists, then shrugged off his own shirt.

Ignaz huffed out a breath, scooped a handful of sand, and let it stream through his fingers. In the night, the bandages hanging down his wrists glowed like reflectors and resembled wings. “This almost looks romantic.”

Seth’s fingers twitched, hands dropped, and his head lowered. His reluctance grew by the minute. He shook his head, wanting to go back on his word, but Ignaz’s voice rang in his ears. “In my dreams, they rape me again and again, but now they don’t have eyes. They touch me with their dead hands, and all I feel is cold and numbness.”

Seth knew numbness all too well. A helpless growl rattled in his throat as he couldn't find a solution to this problem.

“Seth?” The shaky voice cut the night.

“Hmm?”

“I don’t want it to hurt. Can you make it painless?” Ignaz looked at his wrist and the loose bandage stained in blood. The red slashes reopened, and the light sand already clung to the wet skin. “I think that is the only thing that has been truly stopping me. I don’t want to go in pain. I want the pain to end. Funny, right?”

Seth didn’t smile. He wanted to rage, scream, and break things or walk away. Instead, he closed his eyes—powerless, defeated.

“I’ll never hurt you.” As if from afar, he watched himself reach to the toolbelt that lay nearby and pull out a sharp-angled, triangle profile bar. A lump formed in his throat when he threw one knee over Ignaz’s thighs and straddled him. Their eyes met, and Seth, for the millionth time, thought how beautiful, how perfect Ignaz was.

Too bad you want to leave me. Maybe you really aren’t the one. Maybe, I just wanted you to be.

His fingers caressed Ignaz’s face, snuck under his neck, and counted vertebras. He palpated five of them before positioning the triangle bar between the spine ridges. “I promise, you won’t feel a thing.”

He leaned in and covered Ignaz’s mouth with his own. A weak smile tickled his lips for a heartbeat before the boy replied to the kiss.

“I love you,” Seth confessed, hoping it would change something. His breath ricocheted against Ignaz’s sad smile.

“I know,” Ignaz mouthed. “Do it.”

Funny… For someone who had always wanted the truth, he wished Ignaz lied to him for once. I wish you were the one.

Seth kissed Ignaz again. His palms cupped the bony shoulders, and he pressed down with all the force he could muster. The low crack deafened him with the realization of the irreversible act he’d committed. A sharp exhale crashed against the back of his throat, and Ignaz’s gaze clouded. Seth’s heart constricted.

Did I do it wrong? No, please, don’t be in pain.He had never done it before and wasn’t even sure it would work properly. He drew back from the slackening lips to see Ignaz’s eyes search the sky. His shallow breath rolled under his pallid, clammy chest, beads of sweat glistening on his stomach.

“Funny.” A breath of amazement washed over Seth’s face. “I can’t feel my legs, my arms either. Seth, I can’t move. It really doesn’t hurt anymore.”

Splayed on the sand, Ignaz was so beautiful, so perfect. He wasn’t in pain anymore, and peace found its way into his features. Then why did Seth have such a hard time accepting it? Why couldn’t he just let Ignaz go? Ignaz was happy. He’d gotten what he wanted; nothing else mattered. He should be happy too. A new beginning waited for Ignaz. He swallowed the surge of saliva and tried to smile.

I’ll give you a new life, and you will be happy in it. I promise. I’ll give you a spine strong enough for you to withstand anything. Nothing will ever break you. And I’ll give you wings so you’ll never feel tethered. You will be free.

Seth swallowed against the lump at the back of his throat. His vision glitched when he picked up a straight razor and mouthed, “It’s okay, my love. You will never hurt again.”

He ran the blade down Ignaz’s arms, long trails beaded with maroon blood and colored the sand. Spreading along his torso, the scarlet stains resembled folded wings.

Too bad you aren’t the one.

Seth kissed his forehead. He gave Ignaz a reassuring nod as he lifted his head and pressed the razor to the nape of his neck. The blade sank into the skin cutting through the muscle layer, scraping the spine. He forced it down, slicing the skin alongside his spine.

Ignaz’s eyes flew open. A shadow of fear clouded his gaze. “Seth?”

“Shhh,” Seth leaned closer, their foreheads touching. “Don’t worry about anything. It won’t hurt. It’ll never hurt again. Trust me. Let go.”

Behind the dilated pupils, Ignaz’s soul lay naked, ready for his touch. Seth peered in, then froze. In the dead sea of Ignaz’s soul, there was almost nothing for him to scoop. He inched his fingers into the wound, fumbled over the ridges of his vertebrae, but no electricity answered his call.

Dread prickled Seth’s skin as he watched the pulse in the vein at Ignaz’s temple slow. His fingers soaked in blood, but he still couldn’t feel a single spark. Ignaz’s soul was as dead as his desert. How is it possible?How can someone this bright be so hollow? It must be a relief indeed.

“Seth.” Pale lips moved.

“What?”

“Thank you.” Ignaz’s gaze misted. He closed his eyes then smiled. A light impulse shot through Seth’s index finger, making him sink deeper. Energy filled his body as he finally connected with the soul, tying it to the spine. He leaned in and kissed Ignaz’s left eye, then the right one. Ignaz’s smile grew bigger. “I wish I met you sooner. If there’s another life, I wish we meet again.”

The words that sounded like a confession crushed Seth’s world.

“No…” He mouthed. An acute sense of loss zapped through his chest, stealing his breath. An invisible hole opened in his guts, and the searing desert wind billowed in his ears. He screamed, but his voice failed him. “Why?”

In his mind’s eye, he could see the dying god and the black carbuncles opening all over his now grayish skin. There was very little left of him now, and after tonight, there would be nothing he could give anyone, not that he wanted to.

But we won’t. This is my last life, and you were the one. I won’t look anymore.

Seth lowered on the sand, curling by Ignaz’s side, and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to get up, didn’t want to think, he just wanted tonight to end. There was nothing else he could do. He’d simply run out of time.

* * *

Gustavo stood inthe shadows of the machinery with his arms folded over his chest. His every nerve strained as he watched Seth curl next to the boy with the straight razor gripped in his hand. Even from sixty-five feet away, he could feel his pain thick in the air.

Despite being nearly identical, the scene he witnessed tonight differed from the one he’d interrupted before in every aspect. There was no sense of danger, no electric tinge to tickle his nerves, just sorrow and pain.

A tear of a wrapper rustled the silent night. Diego’s elbow bumped against his shoulder as he shoved a lollipop into his mouth with such urgency, the candy clanged against his teeth before he rolled it into his cheek. Knee bouncing, he turned to Gustavo.

“I liked this boy.” Diego dropped the wrapper to the ground.

“I know.”

“No, Gustavo, I really did like him. Why the fuck did you make me stay with him for three days if you had no intention of stopping this fucker? I should have known. You’ve totally lost your marbles.” Sharp accusation glinted in his foxy eyes.

Gustavo understood the rage. He did, but there was very little consolation he could provide.

“There was no point in stopping him.” Gustavo barely heard himself. He remembered Seth’s pain as he stormed through the basement in helpless fury. Back then, Gustavo had wondered why Seth had never stopped Ignaz. Why had he walked away? Now, he finally understood. “It’s not a murder. It’s mercy. The boy wanted this.”

“He didn’t fucking know what he wanted. He was twenty-three and traumatized. He didn’t need this. He needed therapy.” Diego growled, then blew a huff out, closed his eyes, and clenched his fists. When he spoke again, his voice sounded low and quiet. “He was confused and scared. For the first time in years, he found the courage to date and found himself in a murderer’s bed. He chose the easy way out because he didn’t know whom to trust and had no ground beneath his feet. He simply had no other choice, but you had.”

“I would have stopped him if I had the slightest hope that he wouldn’t slit his veins the next instant.”

“How do you know that? What are you, a fucking psychologist?” Aggression radiated from Diego’s every pore. His eyes blazed with the fire of hatred.

“Remember how you sold a Pit Bull pup to a man, and he brought it back two days later, broken and scared of its own shadow? This is why you took the canine psychology course, right? Were you able to help it?”

“Humans aren’t dogs.”

“Maybe no, maybe yes. Back then, you made a decision. You were merciful and spared the pup a life of misery.”

“You can’t seriously compare that to this? This guy here, he is nuts, this is a murder, and your word means nothing. I’m going to put him down.” Diego reached for a gun.

“He didn’t want to do this.” Gustavo placed a hand on his shoulder. “If you want to blame someone, blame those who did this to the boy in the first place, or at least watch the footage.”

“Oh, I don’t blame Mayr. He is batshit crazy. I blame you.” Diego shrugged his hand off himself and pulled out a gun. “For not keeping your fucking word. For carrying this game too far. For making me personally involved in this shit. And I blame myself. Mayr might have killed him, but his blood is on your hands. And on mine.”

Gustavo wanted to say something, anything to alleviate Diego’s guilt, but for the first time in his life, he ran out of words. He shook his head and inched toward Seth, but a wide palm covered his shoulder, stopping him.

“What are you doing?”

“He needs help.” Gustavo shrugged. Every cell of his body, as if magnetized, attracted him to Seth. He barely managed to stand still. He needed to be with Seth, to look him in the eye. He couldn’t get rid of the bitter taste in his mouth, as if something bad was about to happen.

“Gustavo, you don’t need him. You already have the fucking statue. Stop.”

“Why would I need the statue when I can have the real thing?

“Didn’t you want to stay away from him? What happened to that?”

“That was before.” Gustavo shrugged his hand off and inched closer to Seth.

“Before what?”

“Before I understood him. Diego, I know what he needs.”

“Who cares what he needs?” Diego’s voice pitched.

“I do? I can make him happy. I didn’t have a chance before, but now I do.”

Diego laughed. “Could it be that you didn’t stop him because you wanted the boy out of your way?”

Words hit Gustavo’s face like spit. “Diego, watch what you say.”

“Fuck this and fuck you. You are as nuts as he is. Go and die; I don’t care.” Diego shrunk back, chin flying high.

“Fuck...” Gustavo watched him walk away. A part of him wanted to stop Diego, but he had nothing to say to him. He didn’t know the answer to Diego’s question, but he wanted to believe this wasn’t the case.

Diego spat out a sucker and crushed the candy with the sole of his shoe. Approaching Rafael, he thrust his palm forward and grounded out, “Give me a fucking cigarette.”

“You gave up, remember?” Propping the blue wall of a workers’ locker room, Rafa didn’t move.

“Now.”

“Don’t blame me after.” Rafa pulled a pack out of the inner pocket of his jacket and proffered a smoke.

A lighter clicked, the flame caught the tip, and Diego filled his lungs. His sharp exhale resounded in the night. Gustavo turned away.

“You owe me a thousand,” Rafael’s quiet voice drifted from behind, Diego never answered.

Every sound died, and only quiet SHAAAAA hang in the air with the gray net of the drizzle.

He stood unmoving. The drizzle morphed into the rain. Droplets hit Gustavo’s neck and skidded under his shirt.

Why isn’t he doing anything? He frowned, glanced at the watch. It was almost four a.m. The sky darkened, but the night was melting. The blood-covered hand looked black in the night as it rose from the sand bed, fingers stretched apart.

The blade glinted as Seth pressed the razor to the base of his palm.

Gustavo darted forward. He almost slipped in the mud as he jumped into the pit.

“What are you doing?” The lightning bolt lit up the sky when he slapped the blade out of Seth’s fingers and grabbed his hand. Sticky and cold, it was covered in blood. Gustavo yanked the hand again, forcing Seth to lift up.

Seth chuckled from behind his messy hair that fell over his face. “Humans are so filthy. Always there to feed on grief. What do you need, vulture? Aren’t you fucking entertained enough? Shoo, there’s nothing for you.”

“It’s morning. Get up.” Gustavo tugged the slack arm again. “I’ll help you.”

“What’s the point?” Seth lifted his face. Gustavo dropped the limp hand. Sand clung to Seth’s skin as soon as his palm hit the sand bed. Seth’s red-rimmed eyes spilled moisture. “Nothing matters anymore. There’s no time left. I won’t look anymore. Leave, fly, unless you want to die too.”

Gustavo looked into the pale face but couldn't detect any emotion. Even loneliness deserted Seth, leaving ultimate hopelessness behind. Gustavo hated it.

“Hm…” His hand flew in the air and landed across Seth’s cheek with a hard, ringing slap. Get mad. Come on, get mad. Anything but this.

Seth’s head whacked to the side. He wiped his mouth with his bloody forearm but didn’t lift his face.

His chin jerked; Gustavo squatted before him, fisted a handful of black hair, and collided their lips. Seth tasted like blood, salt, and desperation. “What are you looking for? Tell me, and I’ll give it to you. Try me.”

Seth smirked; a haughty expression made its way into his features. He laughed, shook his head, then lost all signs of merriment.

“Leave.” With a precise motion, Seth slapped Gustavo’s hands away and lowered on the sand bed. The rain, gaining strength, marred the white sand with dark splotches.

“Don’t care about yourself?” Gustavo said, not willing to let go of the hard-earned attention. “Fine. What about him? Will you let him rot?”

“Rot?” Seth lifted on one elbow and pressed his palm to the side of Ignaz’s face. “He won’t rot. I’ll give him a spine made of sand but it will be stronger than iron, so in the next life, nothing can ever break him. No, he won’t rot.”

Seth got up and scooped the dead body into his arms.

“Leave, fly. There’s nothing I can give you or anyone at all. There’s nothing left to give.”

TO BE CONTINUED

If you enjoyed Seth and want to learn more about The Three King's World, you can catch up in the Egoist series.

“I wanted to play with you… punish you. But now, I want to ruin your world and turn it pitch black. Isolate you so you don’t have anything left except me. And remember, it’s your own fault.”

ISOLATION. LONELINESS. ENDLESS SILENCE STRETCHING INTO ETERNITY. This is the personal living hell of police detective, Kuon Leiris. His punishment for ruining the Black Duke’s deal. But when nights come, it gets worse… Cruelty. Care. Brutality. Affection. Constant mind games where he can do nothing, but give in. Yugo pours his every corrupt desire into his prey, testing the limits of their twisted relationship. Do you dare enter a dark world where safe-words don’t exist?