Fractured Trust by L. M. Dalgleish
Chapter 8
Summer had been in her new job for a little over two weeks, and she was loving it. She hadn’t realized until now just how important having meaningful work was to her. There was nothing wrong with being an admin assistant, but the job had never fit her. She’d only ended up there because she’d been Deacon’s wife and it had made sense at the beginning for her to work with him at his father’s company.
Her plan had originally been to reapply to college after… well, after everything had happened; but it hadn’t worked out that way. Deacon had liked having her close and had never seen the point in her taking time off to study when they both had stable jobs. Thinking back now, Summer wasn’t sure why she hadn’t pushed harder for what she wanted while she was with Deacon. Except for maybe, when you end up lost at sea, it’s easier if you just try not to rock the boat. And she had been lost. Looking back now, she could see that. Lost and with no clue how to find her way back to solid ground.
But regardless of why she hadn’t done more about it back then, she realized now that her dissatisfaction with her job had chafed at her, contributing to her eroding sense of self over the years without her even noticing. Like a rock slowly worn away by the ceaseless tides. But now, working for Eden, she knew every day what she was doing was going to make a real difference to someone. And it filled her with happiness.
Eden had been true to her word. No more mention of Noah; she’d said her bit and taken Summer’s response at face value. Summer had always liked Eden, but Noah’s sister had only been ten years old when she’d seen her last. They’d been at completely different stages of life. Now, although eight years still separated them, they were both adults. And while Summer didn’t have a music background like Eden, she was finding herself to be just as passionate about the work they were doing. When they weren’t on the phone talking to record labels, band managers, or charities, they were chatting to each other over lunch, sharing bits and pieces of their lives.
Becoming friends.
This morning, Summer had been flat out fielding calls from charities inquiring about what their service entailed. After hanging up from another call, she started typing out a response to the agent of a well-known recording artist who’d been thinking about getting involved.
She didn’t bother to look up when someone knocked on the office door. Eden was coming out of their tiny kitchenette and was close enough to grab whatever package was being delivered. It wasn’t until the surprised yet happy tone of Eden’s voice—followed by a far-too-familiar masculine laugh—broke through her concentration that Summer realized the visitor wasn’t a delivery person.
Summer’s pulse kicked into high gear, and her fingers stilled, hovering above the keyboard as she stared at her computer screen, reluctant to turn around and see him again. But considering how small the office was, she knew she had to or appear impossibly rude.
Schooling her expression into a semblance of calm, hoping the nerves coursing through her weren’t visible, she turned in her seat. Her eyes landed on his chest—his very muscular chest—before reluctantly sliding up and up, over the tanned skin exposed at the neck of his plain white t-shirt, over the strong column of his throat, past the blond stubble covering his angular jaw, and the seductive curve of his lips, finally landing on his vivid blue eyes, so similar and yet so different from his sister’s.
Noah was looking directly at her, but she had no idea what he was thinking; his expression gave nothing away. “Hi, Noah.” Her voice came out more nervous and breathier than she’d wanted it to, which was annoying. But she hadn’t exactly prepared herself for the impact of seeing him again.
“Summer,” he acknowledged. His tone wasn’t cold, but it wasn’t brimming with warmth, either. Which was understandable. This wasn’t the most comfortable of situations, even though her working here had been his idea. She guessed he was as uncertain about how to act around her as she was around him.
She wet her lips and his eyes dropped to her mouth for a fraction of a second, before drifting farther down. Summer cursed herself for being lazy this morning and only throwing on a comfy vintage band tee that hung off one shoulder and a pair of jeans. It had seemed like perfectly acceptable work wear since they didn’t have any meetings with clients today. But as Noah’s gaze lingered where the thin material of her shirt clung to her breasts before rising to meet hers, she wished she’d put on something a bit more armor-like. She had a feeling she might need it.
Apparently unaware of the sudden tension filling the office, Eden rushed back to her desk and started gathering papers and putting them in their respective folders. “Noah’s come to take me to lunch, and probably to tell me all about how awesome he was on tour.” She threw a cheeky grin in her brother’s direction.
He turned his eyes away from Summer and winked at his sister, a warm smile creasing his face. “I mean, I’m awesome all the time, so I don’t know if there’s much new to tell you.”
Eden laughed, and Summer’s chest tightened. There was the Noah she remembered from… before. Before it had all gone wrong. The affectionate, fun-loving one. She guessed he reserved that part of him for people he actually cared about. Not his ex. Not her. It shouldn’t make her sad. It shouldn’t. But the ache in her chest told her it did.
“That sounds nice,” she said, trying her best to play it as cool as he was. As long as she kept a pleasant smile on her face and her voice steady, he didn’t have to know how her heart was knocking against her rib cage.
Noah turned back to her, his eyes roaming lazily over her face. The warm smile he’d afforded Eden faded until all that was left was the faintest of creases around the corners of his eyes.
“Yep,” Eden said. “And I need to fit in as many lunches as possible before he heads off on tour again with Fractured.”
Noah was still looking at her, so Summer asked, “How long until the Fractured tour?”
“Two and a half months.”
“Doesn’t that get tiring?”
This time, Noah’s mouth did tug up at the corners. “I’ve got plenty of… stamina.”
His voice dropped on the last word, coming out low and velvety. Summer’s lips parted, and she stared at him. Was he flirting? “Oh, um, uh, that’s good then.” She stumbled over her words, inundated by memories. Too many memories—of flirting and laughing and touching. Not to mention first-hand experience of that stamina he was talking about. Heat crept over her cheeks, and she twisted back to face her computer.
Summer was about to try to at least pretend she was getting some work done when Eden suddenly dropped her purse onto her desk. “Sorry, Noah. I’m ready, but I’m just going to quickly run to the bathroom before we go. I’ll be back in a minute.” She ducked into the back room where the office’s small bathroom was located.
Tense silence filled the small space. Feeling awkward just sitting there while Noah loomed nearby, Summer inhaled, grabbed a file off her desk, and stood, flashing him a smile as she walked the few steps to their filing cabinet.
“So, two bands, huh? You must be busy,” she said, as she placed the file back in its spot. Ugh, small talk was so not her forte.
She turned back toward him and found him studying her from where he stood a few feet away. He watched her for a second before a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. “You could say that. But you know me, I like to keep busy.”
She nodded jerkily. God, why was she so nervous around him—her pulse thrumming, breath coming a fraction too fast. Yes, it was awkward and uncomfortable, but they’d dated for two years. It may have been a long time ago, but she’d never been awkward around him back then. In fact, that was one of the things about him that had appealed to her so much—outside of his ridiculous good looks and charm, of course—how well they fit with each other. How easy it had been between them. As if they were made for one another.
“I remember,” she said, her eyes drifting down to the fingers of his right hand, which were tapping restlessly against his muscular, denim-clad thigh, a motion she remembered vividly from when they were dating. She almost smiled at the memory. “The only time you ever stopped moving for more than a few minutes was—”
She cut herself off, but it was too late; his eyes had flared hot and bright in remembrance. Because they both knew the only time he’d ever truly relaxed, truly been still, was after they’d made love. After he’d dragged a second or third screaming climax out of her, after he’d finally let himself go, he’d roll her onto her side, wrap her in his arms, and hold her against him. Sometimes they would just lie there, hearts beating to the same rhythm, breathing each other in, completely content. Or they’d talk, make plans for the future, share their dreams. Sometimes they’d drift off to sleep like that, but just as often, he’d eventually start to skate his fingers lightly over her skin, and before she knew it, he’d be inside her again, telling her he loved her, with his words and his touch. Binding her even tighter to him.
Until it had all come crashing down.
The storm swirling in his eyes told her he was remembering the same things she was. What on earth had she been thinking to bring that up? She didn’t want to reminisce about their shared history. They hadn’t had the kind of amicable breakup where they could laugh about the good times. There was too much hurt, too many things left unsaid, to be bringing up the past.
But she couldn’t take the words back, and by the look on Noah’s face, the memories had triggered something in him. The skin around his eyes was tight and his gaze seared into her as he paced forward, slow and smooth, like a lion stalking its prey. This was the new Noah. The one she didn’t recognize—harder, more intense.
He came to a stop in front of her, and her throat dried as she looked up at him. “You were the only one who kept me still. Losing myself in you, that was when I could let it all go.”
Noah was too much in the small office space. Not just his physical size—how he towered over her when he stood so close—but the way the electricity that still sparked in the air between them sucked the very oxygen from her lungs. His blue eyes had turned as dark as the ocean before a storm at the memories she’d unwittingly dredged up. Summer’s breath grew shallow in response. She shouldn’t have said anything. Why bring up a past they both wanted to forget? Especially when he’d done her the favor of getting her this job.
Trying to lighten the charged moment, she let out a nervous laugh. “It was sex, Noah, not me. All those endorphins rushing through your body. Just a biological reaction. I’m sure it’s the same no matter who you’re”—her throat tightened—“with… physically.” Her voice trailed off, and she realized she’d said the wrong thing again when his eyes turned diamond hard, his jaw tensing.
When he took another step forward, Summer had to stop herself from involuntarily moving back. Instead, she raised her chin and kept her gaze locked with his. Whoever Noah was now, he wasn’t someone she was afraid of. Not physically, anyway.
He stopped when he was close enough that she could have reached up and cupped his jaw, felt the rasp of his stubble on her palm. Something she absolutely did not have the urge to do, she told herself, even as her fingers twitched at her side. She did inhale, though. The clean, fresh scent of citrus and warm male skin filled her and took her straight back to being eighteen and wrapped in his arms, bodies moving together, her face buried in the crook of his neck—the smell of his skin her own personal aphrodisiac.
She shook her head to clear it, or maybe to try to deny the power of the memory. But the direction of her thoughts must have been obvious because his eyes flicked to her lips briefly before meeting her gaze again. Anger burned in the depths of the blue, warring with something else, something even more heated. But it was anger that won out. He leaned forward, breath washing over her ear, sending goose bumps in a wave down her neck, but his words sent a shock of ice-cold through her. “If it was just sex, Summer, then I’d have been far more relaxed over the last eleven years considering all the women I’ve fucked.”
Hurt and anger of her own knifed through her, and she sucked in a sharp breath. She couldn’t believe he’d said that to her. What an asshole.
He was still leaning close, his eyes still dark on hers, and she blinked once, then again, as she fought back the sudden prickle of tears. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d scored a hit—that thinking of him with other women still had the power to hurt her.
She drew her shoulders back, ignoring the hint of regret she thought she saw glimmering in his eyes, and stared straight at him as she said quietly, “Then I feel sorry for you, Noah. Eleven years is a long time to not have any peace.”
Something that might have been pain flashed across his face, but before she could be certain, it had gone. He held her gaze for a second longer, his expression now unreadable. Then, as Eden’s footsteps sounded from the back room, he ground out, “Don’t think I’ve forgotten you still owe me an explanation.” He pulled away and took two steps back, eyes locked on hers. Tension vibrated from him, and his fingers twitched at his side, tapping out a beat against his thigh.
Summer released a ragged breath and unlocked her muscles so that it wouldn’t be obvious that something had happened between them. Noah too had relaxed, turning toward his sister as she walked back in, that warm, teasing smile once again on his face. “Took you long enough.”
If Summer hadn’t spent two years memorizing his expressions when they were younger, she might have even believed he was completely unfazed by what had happened. That as he joked with his sister, he was perfectly relaxed. But the sharp angle of his jaw and the darker blue of his eyes told her he was anything but calm.
Well, screw him. He’d said that just to hurt her, and she wasn’t going to let him do it again. If he wanted to rub all the women he’d been with in her face—particularly considering why they’d broken up in the first place—then she’d rather he stay away from her altogether. She didn’t need his bullshit. All she wanted was to do this job, have fun working with Eden, and make a life for herself here in L.A. A life of her own, doing what she wanted to do. Not beholden to anyone else. Not hampered by guilt over the things she’d done wrong.
And she probably needed to make some friends other than Eden. Because as much as she enjoyed Eden’s company, she couldn’t exactly hang out with her outside of work without risking seeing Noah. And today had just proven how bad an idea it was for them to spend time around each other.
Determined not to let him get to her, Summer smiled at Eden as she and Noah made their way to the door. “Have fun.”
Eden stopped in her tracks, glancing quickly between her and Noah. “I’m so sorry Summer, I wasn’t thinking. Do you want to come with us?”
Summer couldn’t imagine anything worse. She hoped the smile on her lips didn’t look as frozen and insincere as it felt. Not looking at Noah, who appeared to be staring out the window, completely disinterested in her answer, she replied. “Thanks, but I’ve got a few calls to make, so I’ll just grab something later. You two have a nice lunch.”
Eden’s gaze slid between her and Noah again, a small crease forming between her brows. “Okay, well, I’ll see you in a little while.”
Noah didn’t say goodbye as they left, and Summer didn’t offer one to him. Hopefully, he wouldn’t feel the need to drop in to see his sister too often, because Summer didn’t know whether she’d be able to handle another interaction like that without wanting to turn tail and run.
* * *Noah didn’t come into the office when Eden returned from lunch, and for that, Summer was grateful. But Eden’s happy smile and the way she hummed under her breath as she worked told her she’d had a good time with her brother. As angry as Summer was at Noah for what he’d said, it was nice to see how close he and Eden still were.
The two of them had almost finished for the day. Summer had turned off her computer and begun to pack up when Eden surprised her by plonking her butt on the desk.
Summer’s brows pinched together, concern kicking in at the pensive expression on Eden’s face. Her mind immediately went to Noah. Had he said something to his sister? Did he regret helping her get this job? Would Eden fire her if Noah decided he didn’t want her around anymore?
Summer’s gut twisted anxiously as Eden continued regarding her. “What is it?” she forced herself to ask.
“Noah said something at lunch that got me thinking.”
Oh, God, he had said something. A lead weight settled in Summer’s belly. She should have known. A great job, a new start; she should have realized this was all too good to be true. She should have realized Noah would change his mind about her.
Again.
Summer swallowed against the dryness in her throat. “Oh, what was that?”
“He asked if you’d been out much since you’d got here. And it made me realize that I’ve been terribly remiss in being a friend. So, I’d like to fix that by asking if you want to come out with me and Lexie this Friday?”
Relief surged through Summer, and she sagged slightly as she realized her spine had been rigid while she waited for the metaphorical axe to fall. She exhaled, then smiled up at Eden.
“That sounds fun. What do you have in mind?” She hadn’t met Lexie yet, but the picture Eden had painted of Connor’s wife made her think the photographer was someone she would like to know.
Eden’s eyes darted away for a second before she met Summer’s gaze again and smiled. “Well… the guys are playing a benefit gig on Friday, and I was hoping you’d come with us to watch.”
Summer blinked up at her. “You want me to go to a Fractured concert?”
“Yes, it’ll be fun!”
Fun? Had Eden really not felt the tension between her and Noah earlier? “Um, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
Eden’s eyes sparkled. “Please come with us, Summer. I know things are a bit uncomfortable between you and Noah, but he’ll be up on stage. And it will do you good to get out and have some girl time. Plus, you’ll get to meet Lexie.”
“I don’t know Eden; I don’t think Noah will want me there.”
“I think what Noah does or doesn’t want would surprise you,” Eden said. “He likes to act like nothing bothers him, but there’s a lot going on behind that devil-may-care smile, and sometimes even I don’t know what he’s thinking. But I can guarantee you, if he didn’t want you there, he would have shut me down straight away when I mentioned inviting you.”
Summer bit her tongue. Noah hadn’t had any problem before letting her know she’d bothered him. “You told him you were going to invite me?”
“I threw the idea out there, and he had ample opportunity to say something. But he didn’t, so we’re all good. And anyway, you can’t let my brother dictate your life. You didn’t use to back when you were dating, you absolutely shouldn’t now that you’re not.” Eden grinned mischievously, her dimple flashing, the smile so like Noah’s that it made Summer reflexively smile back.
She shouldn’t really be considering it. Not after what had just happened. But Summer was suddenly desperate to go out and have fun. It had been too long. Since the divorce, she’d hardly been out. All of her old friends had been friends with Deacon as well, because he hadn’t really liked her going out on her own, preferring them to do things as a couple. Most of them had been friends through work too. Since Deacon’s dad owned the company, that meant that as things deteriorated between the two of them, invitations to hang out had dried up, leaving her feeling more alone than ever.
“Well… I guess it could be fun. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the guys play live.”
Eden smiled. “Excellent, it’s going to be great! I’ll come and pick you up, and we can drive in together.”
“Don’t you want to ride in with Tex?”
“He can catch a lift in with Noah. They practically live next door to each other.”
“Okay, that sounds good then. Thanks, Eden, I’m looking forward to it.”
Summer couldn’t stop a tremor of both excitement and trepidation shuddering through her. Noah had always been irresistible when he was in his element, playing the drums. Seeing him up there would bring back a lot of good memories, as well as serving as a reminder of everything that had torn them apart.
But this was her life now. He was in her life; even if only on the outskirts. With what had taken place before, she figured they’d both be more than happy to keep their distance. She’d just go along, have fun with Eden and Lexie, and then go home.