Roping Melanie by Melissa Ellen

9

Melanie

Nash didn’t say a word. It wasn’t until he dropped my hand and looked away from me that I knew he’d heard me. It was the only move he’d made.

I gave him a few more seconds before I spoke again. “I tried to tell you once before.”

“When?” he asked. There was no anger behind his words. He was likely still trying to process the bomb I just dropped on him. I understood it was a lot to take in.

“While I was pregnant. I went to Cheyenne to find you. I watched you ride.”

He shook his head in confusion. “You were there?” His eyes came back to me.

With a hard swallow, I nodded.

Avery’s middle name was Cheyenne because it had been the closest I ever got to telling Nash about her. The moment I found out I was pregnant, I scoured the internet for him with the bits of information I knew. He’d been in Vegas for a rodeo. He was a bull rider. It didn’t take long for me to find out just who Nash was. He wasn’t just a bull rider, he was a world champion. The night before we’d met in Vegas he’d taken home the title, the gold buckle, and a million-dollar prize. There was article after article about Nash Evans, third generation bull rider extraordinaire who won his first world championship as a twenty-two-year-old rookie. He’d been the only rookie ever to take home a World Championship title.

It took me a few months, but I’d scraped together every penny I had to book a flight to Cheyenne, Wyoming where he’d be competing in his next event of the new season. I’d watched in mostly fear but also amazement as he rode his second bull of the weekend. He’d stayed on for all eight seconds and dismounted without a single injury. I’d held my breath the entire time. It wasn’t until the bull was clear of the arena that I finally exhaled.

After his ride, I’d left the stands in search of him. Whatever relief I’d felt over him having survived the ride quickly vanished. The moment I found him, the debilitating fear returned. I’d froze at the sight of him. He was laughing and smiling without a care in the world.

Nash had been surrounded with the press while his arm hung over the shoulders of a beautiful blonde tucked close to his side. Everyone wanted a piece of him. Especially after they learned his final score won him another buckle and more prize money. That ride was what helped to tighten his hold on the number one spot in the rankings, once again. He was on the path to his second World Championship buckle.

It’s why I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t tell him.

He had the whole world at his fingertips. A life and successful career. The last thing I wanted was for him to think I was after his money. He’d take one look at me and assume the worse. My family didn’t have a lot, but what we had we were proud of.

It’s why I decided right then and there I didn’t need him or his money. It would be hard work raising a baby on my own, but hard work wasn’t something I was afraid of. It’s why I’d ducked into the crowd and disappeared, determined to give my daughter the best life I could all on my own.

I told Nash about all of it: Cheyenne, the rodeo, the press, the girl. He listened quietly with an unreadable expression as I spoke. When I was finally done, he stood from his seat, taking a few steps away. He roughed a hand over his head before dropping both to his hips. Wordlessly, he stared off in the distance, his eyes finding Avery’s kindergarten picture. The heavy silence was torture, thickening the tension.

“Avery Cheyenne . . .” He said her name quietly to himself as if trying it out. The same way parents often did together when debating on a name for their baby. Only, I’d done that on my own without his input. One more thing to add to the long list of reasons I was sorry.

He finally turned back around to face me, putting me out of my misery. “I wish you’d said something then.”

“I know. I should’ve. I wanted to . . . But when it came to it, I was scared how you’d react or how your girlfriend would.”

They were piss-poor excuses, but it was the truth. I’d been a young, frightened girl back then, trying to make the best of a bad situation. Trying to be brave, even if I did take the cowardly way out when it came to telling Nash. It was easier to run than to face him and the potential rejection. As Avery got older, it only got harder to do the right thing.

“She wasn’t my girlfriend.” He crossed his arms, his expression cold as ice. “That was my sister. You would’ve learned that if you’d said something.”

I dropped my gaze to my hands that I’d been wringing in my lap. “I’m sorry, Nash. I am. I don’t know what more I can say.” I looked up at him. There was nothing I could say to make this better. After a few heavily weighted seconds, I asked, “What now?”

“I don’t know.” He sighed and released his arms. “I need some time. Some space to think about things.”

As much as I hated to leave things unresolved, it was only fair he had time to process.

“Okay.” I nodded, biting down on my bottom lip while attempting to fight back the forming tears. “Please don’t take her from me,” I blurted as one escaped and rolled down my cheek.

“Hell, Mel.” His expression fell as he took a step toward me and then thought better of it. “Is that what you think of me? That I’d take a young girl from her mother?”

I swiped at the tears now slowly spilling over. “I don’t know what to think. I barely know you, Nash.”

He gripped the back of his neck and looked away for a beat. “I guess that’s true. But just so we’re clear, if the situation would’ve been reversed, I wouldn’t have waited years to tell you. I wouldn’t have kept you in the dark. I would’ve given you the opportunity to make a choice. And had you given me that, I would’ve been here for the both of you. I’m not a cut and run type of guy.”

I deserved his anger. I knew that. I expected it. It still hurt worse than anything I could’ve imagined.

“I’m sorry,” I said once again. The words were inadequate, despite how true they were and how deeply I meant them.

He exhaled a heavy breath and rubbed a hand over the stubble along his jaw. “I’m going to go. I’ll call you.”

I didn’t fight him to stay. I watched his back as he left. When the door slammed behind him, I broke down and cried.

“How’d it go?” my mom asked as she set a steaming mug of coffee on the table in front of me. My dad had taken Avery to the park this morning, so the two of us could talk.

I shrugged. “He said he’d call.”

“When?”

“I’m not sure. I didn’t think it was fair to force him into a timeline, given the circumstances and all,” I snapped, immediately regretting my tone. I groaned and dropped my head in my hands. “I’m sorry. I’m just tired and stressed.” Not to mention anxious and scared out of my mind, wondering what Nash was going to do. For the second night in a row, I hadn’t gotten any sleep after he left. I spent the whole night worrying and crying. “Thank you for keeping Avery last night.”

“She’s my granddaughter. Of course I would keep her.”

I wrapped my hands around the warm mug, not quite able to stomach even coffee yet. My stomach was still in knots, the thought of eating impossible.

“I’ll make you some eggs and bacon,” my mom said matter-of-factly.

“I’m not hungry.”

“I didn’t ask if you’re hungry. I’m making you breakfast. You’re going to eat it, and then you’re going to shower and pull yourself together before that little girl gets home.”

I stared at my mug as my mom made breakfast. It wasn’t until she set the plate of food in front of me that I was pulled from my daze. “What am I going to tell Avery?”

With her own coffee mug in hand, she took a seat at the table next to me and sighed. She set her cup aside and then took one of my hands into both of hers. The warmth and strength of them only made me want to break down and cry once again. “You tell her you love her. And then you tell her the truth.”