When I’m With You by Sandi Lynn

Chapter 30

Ben

I decided since Leah was going to be staying with me for the next couple of weeks, I’d take a leave of absence from work. I talked to my boss about it the day that Lindsey called me, and since I didn’t take any time off after Amy died, I was more than ready. My boss didn’t care, since one of the other firemen had just come back from a leave of his own. I didn’t need to worry about Leah today because she was going next door to bake cookies with Mrs. Birch all day. She really liked Leah and the two of them could communicate. Mrs. Birch knew sign language because her brother was deaf. He had passed away several years ago in a bus accident.

It was six o’clock and I headed to the Sunset Bar before I went home. I texted Leah and asked her about dinner and she said that she and Mrs. Birch had already eaten Chinese food and that she’d be home soon. I walked into the bar and took my seat. I was surprised that David wasn’t there.

“How are you doing, Ben?” Damian asked as he set my bottle of beer down in front of me.

“I’m doing good; really good.”

“I can tell. She must be someone very special.” He smiled as he wiped the bar.

“She is.”

“Ah, your friend is here.”

I looked over at the door and saw David walk in. “Hey, buddy.” He grinned as he sat down.

“Hi, David. How was your Thanksgiving?”

“It was nice. How was yours with Paisley?”

I gave him an odd look because I never told him that I was spending Thanksgiving with Paisley. “How did you know that I spent Thanksgiving with her?”

“I didn’t. I just assumed you were going to since the two of you have been seeing each other.”

“You were right; we did spend it together and it was great.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” He smiled. “So it sounds to me like you two are really getting close.”

“In some ways, I think we are. She told me that she had a panic attack yesterday morning when she woke up. It was her first Thanksgiving without her husband. I think she still has a lot of things to work out with his death.”

“I think you do too with Amy’s death,” he said with seriousness as he looked at me. “Have you cleaned out her things yet?”

I sat there in disbelief that he would even ask something like that. “No.”

“Has Paisley?”

“I have no clue. That’s not something we talk about. It’s private,” I said with an irritated tone.

“You will never be at peace or move on until you do those things. Getting rid of Amy’s things doesn’t mean you’re forgetting about her. It’s moving on, healing, and coming to terms with the fact that she’s gone. The only thing you want to hold on to is her memory, Ben.”

Who the fuck was he to sit here and say these things to me? “I gotta go. My sister is in town and I need to get home to her,” I said as I threw some money on the counter and got up.

“I didn’t mean—” I heard him yell as I left the bar.

As I drove home, I was reeling with anger. Why was I so angry? Because everything he said was true and I didn’t want to hear it? Just as I pulled up in the driveway, I saw Leah coming out of Mrs. Birch’s house, carrying a round tin. She walked over to the car and signed with one hand.

Hi. How was your day?

Good. How was yours?

Good. We made lots of cookies. I brought some home for you.

I set the tin on the counter and took off the lid. Inside sat different kinds of Christmas cookies and they looked delicious.

Don’t eat them all. I want to give some to Keaton.

I raised my eyebrow at her. Really?

Yes. I told him I would give him some.

And when did you tell him this?

Today, when he texted me. We exchanged phone numbers last night before we left.

I stood there and slowly nodded my head. All I kept thinking was that she was only here for two weeks and then she’d be back in Texas.

I’m taking you to the pier tomorrow.

Can Paisley come with us?

Yes. I already asked her.

Good. I like her, and I want to get to know her better. If you don’t mind, I’m going to go to my room and read. I’m a little tired.

Good night, sweetheart. I kissed her forehead.

As she walked away, she stopped and turned to me. I’m really happy to be here. I love you, Ben.

I love you too, Leah.

I pulled my phone from my pocket when I heard it beep with a text message. A wide smile fell upon my face when I saw it was from Paisley.

“Hi there. What time should I be over tomorrow?”

“I was going to pick you up.”

“I can drive over. It’s no big deal.”

“I’d rather pick you up.”

“Lol. Okay, if you insist.”

“Great. We’ll be over around ten o’clock. I can’t wait to see you again.”

“I can’t wait to see you either.”

* * *

Paisley

Romeo nudged me and meowed in my ear. He wanted food and I wanted to sleep. I looked over at the clock. It read six thirty.

“Please, Romeo, just give me thirty more minutes,” I said as I rolled over away from him.

“Meow.” He wasn’t stupid. He climbed over me until he was in my face again.

I sighed because I was up all night thinking about Ben and how we were spending the day together today.

“All right. All right. I’m getting up.”

Romeo followed me into the kitchen and sat next to his food bowl. After filling his dish, I popped a k-cup in the Keurig and checked my phone. There was a text message from Charlotte.

“Mom, Piper, and I are going shopping today for wedding and baby things. Would you like to come with us?”

“Sorry, I can’t. I’m spending the day with Ben and Leah. Have fun! Why are you up so early?”

“Morning sickness. How about you?”

“Romeo wanted to eat.”

“Lol. Have fun with Ben today and let’s do breakfast tomorrow morning at that café we love. I’ll ask Mom and Piper to come.”

“Sounds good. We can discuss the time later.”

I was so happy I was spending the day with Ben and Leah. The last thing I wanted to do was go shopping for wedding and baby things. I jumped into the shower and got dressed before going into my office to do some work before they came over. I pulled out the pale pink stationery and pen and began writing my weekly letter.

My dearest husband,

I made it through Thanksgiving. I think you would have been proud of me. At first, I didn’t think I would, but I did. Remember my friend I told you about? His name is Ben? He and his sister spent Thanksgiving with us and, today, I’m spending the day with them so we can show Leah around L.A. Long story short, she’s seventeen and lives with her mom in Texas. I think Keaton has a crush on her. It was weird on Thanksgiving when I introduced them. I saw something in his eyes that I’d never seen before. But you know Keaton; he’s too much of a ladies’ man and I don’t want either one of them to get hurt. Anyway, I wanted you to know that I’m doing okay. I’m going into the office more and I’m actively being more social. I love you and I miss you so much. I have to go now. Until next week.

Love forever,

Paisley

The doorbell rang just as I was putting the letter in the envelope. My stomach did its usual fluttering at the thought of seeing Ben. Romeo followed me to the door and, when I opened it, there stood Ben and Leah.

“Come on in.” I smiled.

“You look great,” Ben said as he stepped inside and kissed my cheek.

“So do you.” I placed my hand on his chest.

Smiling, I signed hello to Leah like Ben had taught me on Thanksgiving. She said hi and then bent down to pet Romeo. She looked up at Ben and began signing to him.

“Leah said that she loves your cat.”

“Tell her thank you and, from the looks of it, he really likes her too.”

“Are you ready to go?” he asked.

“Just let me grab my purse.”

We pulled into a parking space, and when we started to walk the walkway to the pier, Ben grabbed my hand and held it. I looked over at him and smiled while he smiled back. I couldn’t help but notice how Leah stared at the ocean.

“Why don’t we take her down the beach first to see the ocean up close? She hasn’t stopped staring at it since we got out of the truck.”

“Good idea.”

He signed to her. Do you want to go down to the beach first and stand by the shore?

Yes! I would love that.

We took off our shoes and I grabbed Leah’s hand and we ran down to the water. We stopped just before it could touch our feet. She bent down and held her hands out as the water crashed into them when it hit the shore.

“Has Leah ever had a hearing aid?”

“Yeah. She’s had dozens of them when she was little. They never helped.”

Leah stood up and pointed out into the ocean and then looked back at us. She signed, I think that’s Keaton out there.

“She thinks that surfer out there is Keaton,” Ben said to me.

I put my hand on my forehead to block the sun as I stepped closer to the shore and looked.

“Yep. That’s him.”

Ben signed to Leah that she was right and that it was Keaton. She smiled as she watched him surf.

“I thought he doesn’t surf this late,” Ben commented.

“He normally doesn’t.”

I stood at the shoreline and screamed his name. He looked at me and then began paddling towards the shore. I looked over at Leah as Keaton stepped out of the water and noticed her jaw drop when she saw him in his wetsuit. He grabbed his board and walked over to us with a grin.

“Hey. What are you three doing here?” he asked.

“Why are you here? You never surf this late.”

He set down his surfboard and took hold of Leah’s hands. “Hi.” He smiled.

“Hi,” she mouthed.

“Got a late start this morning. One of my websites I designed had a glitch and I had to fix it and then Mom made me sit down and have breakfast with her and Dad.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Leah turned to Ben and signed something to him. He looked at Keaton.

“Leah wants to know if you want to come with us to the pier. It’s her first time here.”

“I’d like that,” he said directly to her. “I’ll be right back. Let me change out of this suit and into my regular clothes.”

Leah nodded. Keaton went to change, and Leah turned and looked at the ocean. Ben smiled at me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a warm embrace. Why he was doing this? I didn’t know, but I didn’t mind. There was no place else I wanted to be but in his arms.