When I’m With You by Sandi Lynn
Chapter 32
Ben
I was still trying to wrap my head around what happened. I loved her and I couldn’t bear to leave her like that, but I had no choice. She made it very clear that she wanted me to leave and to leave her alone. Sadness and disappointment tore through me as I tried to fall asleep. I kept my phone close to my side with the hopes that she’d either call or text me.
I got up the next morning at six a.m. and headed out for a run. It was earlier than usual, but I couldn’t sleep, and lying in bed just forced me to think too much about Paisley. Before heading to the pier, I decided to do some running on the beach near the shoreline. That was when I ran into Keaton as he was putting his surfboard in the water.
“Hey, Ben.” He smiled.
I stopped and placed my hands on my thighs as I tried to catch my breath. “Hey, Keaton.”
“You’re out early this morning? Couldn’t get Paisley to run with you?”
“Nah., She told me last night not to call her anymore and, when she’s ready, she’ll call me.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have told Keaton that, but I was hurting.
“Huh? What happened?”
“I shouldn’t have mentioned anything. It’s not my place. I’m sure she’ll talk to you about it.”
“Ben, I’m sorry. I’ll talk to her, but you and Leah still have to come to family dinner tonight.”
“Please don’t mention that I told you. She’s hurting enough as it is, and I don’t want her to think that I ran to you with this. As for dinner, I don’t think so. If you still want Leah to go, she can.”
“I won’t say anything to her. Don’t worry. I really want you to come to dinner. I’ll check on Paisley when I’m done surfing.”
“Thanks, Keaton. I better get going.”
I gave him a small smile and I continued to run along the water. Once I made it to the pier, I saw David up ahead.
“David,” I yelled.
He turned around and slowed down so I could catch up with him. We ran for a few moments in silence. The last time I saw David was at the Sunset Bar.
“Ben, I want to apologize for the other night. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“It’s already forgotten. I shouldn’t have stormed out like that. The reason I was so pissed was because everything you said was true. Paisley told me last night not to call her anymore.”
He abruptly stopped and looked at me. “What? Why?”
“After I dropped her off at home last night, things started to get a little crazy between us, if you know what I mean, and all of a sudden, she pulled back and told me to get out and not call her. She said she’d call me when she’s ready. The look on her face was pure fright and she said that nothing would ever be okay for her again.”
“Did you tell her that’s not true and that everything would be okay?”
“Yeah, I told her, and she wouldn’t listen.”
He grabbed my shoulders. “Then you make her listen and make her see that she’s wrong and that everything can and will be good for her again!”
I was taken aback by his reaction and I didn’t know what to think. “David, what the fuck is your problem?” I asked as I backed up.
He put his hands up. “I’m sorry. It’s just I lost someone really special once because of bullshit and I don’t want that to happen to you or Paisley. From what you’ve told me, the two of you are perfect for each other and you were meant to be together. Don’t give up on her. Make her see that it’s okay to start over again. I have to go, Ben. I have a breakfast meeting to get to. I’ll see you around.”
He ran away before I could say anything. I didn’t know what I felt at that moment. David’s reaction left me speechless and confused. I brushed it off and continued my run. There was no way Paisley would want me at her parents’ house tonight, so I wasn’t even going to bother.
* * *
Paisley
As soon as I heard my phone beep, I reached over to the nightstand and prayed to God that it wasn’t Ben. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw Keaton’s name.
“I know you’re home and I’m standing outside your door. Open up or I’ll use my key.”
“Use your key. I’m not getting out of bed. I’m sick.”
After a moment passed, Keaton walked into my bedroom, holding a bag from the Donut Depot.
“I told you that I was sick.”
“Sick in the head,” he said as he climbed on the bed next to me.
“You’re an ass.”
He put his hand in the bag and pulled out a white frosted cake donut.
“I don’t want it,” I said as I rolled over and faced the other way.
“Yes you do. Donuts always make things better. You know that.”
“I’m sick, Keaton.”
“I saw Ben at the beach earlier. He was running along the water as I was putting in my surf board. He said that he won’t be at family dinner tonight. What did you do to him, Paisley?”
“Nothing,” I replied as tears filled my eyes. “I already called Mom and told her that I was sick and won’t be coming tonight.”
“So is this how it’s going to be forever? You’d rather spend your life alone and in misery?”
“Leave, Keaton.”
He left the bag of donuts on the bed as he got up and walked around to my side. “I’m going, but I have one last question. Is this the advice you’d give someone that wrote a letter to Dear Paisley? Would you actually tell that person who reached out to you for the best advice possible to hide away from the world for the rest of their life? Would you tell them not to bother facing their fears because, in the end, it’s not worth it? Would you, Paisley? Because if you would, I want to see it in writing. I want to see you write those words. Call me when you’re done hiding.” He turned and walked away, and I flinched at the slamming of the front door.
Romeo jumped on the bed and started nudging me and begging me for food. I finally climbed out of bed, opened a can of Fancy Feast, and took a hot shower. As the water streamed down my back, I stood there with my head down. I felt lost and no longer in control of my life. My husband had become my very existence, and when he died, a large of part of me died with him. Keaton was right. Would I actually tell someone to live like this? Was this what I really wanted? Did I even have a choice? I needed to find myself again.
* * *
Ben
Keaton came over around four thirty to pick up Leah for dinner. I had to explain to her why I wasn’t going.
“I talked to Paisley earlier,” he said as he followed me into the kitchen.
“How is she?”
“I don’t know, man. She kicked me out of her house and I said some things I probably shouldn’t have. I guess just give her some time. She’s freaking out and I don’t know how to help her anymore.”
I placed my hands on the counter and pushed myself back. “I’m sorry,” I said as I looked down.
“Don’t apologize. Listen, Ben, I think you and Paisley make an amazing couple and I’m sorry she’s doing this to you. I know how much you really like her.”
“I do like her a lot. Hell, I’m falling in love with her.”
Leah walked in and Keaton put his hand on my back. “Keep the faith and give her time. She’ll come around.”
“Thanks, Keaton. You two have fun and tell your family that I said hi.”
“Will do, bro.”
Leah kissed me on the cheek and the two of them left. I went into the garage and looked at the table and chairs that still had to be delivered. I called up the buyers and told them that I could make the delivery tomorrow afternoon. I originally planned on asking Paisley to go with me, but now I’d ask Leah. Once I got the dining set out of the garage, I’d start building a sofa table for Paisley.
