Every Shade by Nora Phoenix

11

Matthew felt naked. Well, he was naked, but that was his body. Jace’s words had bared his soul, and it had made it hard to breathe for a moment. How could Matthew tell him that he had to express his truest self while at the same time admonishing himself to keep that part of his life hidden and closed off? He was a hypocrite, and what was worse, he was wrong in pretending he could wish away his needs and desires.

That, of course, led to a whole different problem. Jace. He had to be honest with him, even if this was mere sex. He deserved that much after showing the depth of his friendship by driving all the way here to take care of Matthew. Maybe Jace would run away after Matthew told him, but if so, at least he’d been honest.

“Did I say something wrong?” Jace asked in a small voice.

“No. No, you said something very right. Or rather, you asked the right questions and forced me to face an uncomfortable truth…”

He reached out a wet hand and cupped Jace’s neck. That simple contact sent a shock through him, but not nearly as intense when Jace leaned into his touch with a sweet surrender that made Matthew feel all the things he never thought he’d feel again.

“I had a boyfriend back in New York,” he started. The words surprised him as much as they did Jace.. But once that first sentence was out, it became easier. “His name was Geoff. We met in a club, and at first, we had fun. Great chemistry, hot sex, all casual. I’d discovered I really liked role-play, and I introduced him to it.”

“Role-play,” Jace said slowly. “Like you described in your book ‘He’s the One.’ I loved that one… So hot.”

Matthew nodded, pleased with that reaction. “We tried different scenarios for the next few months, and it went well. He seemed into it. But he wanted more than I was ready for…or maybe more than I was willing to give. He knew I was a writer and he’d realized that I was doing well financially, though I never told him my pen name, and he wanted to make things more official…and more permanent.”

“But you didn’t,” Jace said.

“No. In hindsight, I’m still not sure why, but maybe I had picked up on his intentions unconsciously. I don’t know. We had a huge fight over it, and he was furious. We made up, but things weren’t the same. And then…”

Matthew swallowed. How could it still hurt so much two years later? He let out a sad sigh. “He suggested we’d try consensual noncon play…”

“Oh god…” Jace whispered.

“Yeah. I’d never done it before, and I should’ve never agreed, but the idea was arousing, and so we set things up…”

“He set you up.”

Matthew nodded. “He did. He filmed the whole thing without my knowledge, and if I hadn’t sensed something was off and had aborted, he might’ve pressed charges against me… I could’ve ended up in jail because I had no proof whatsoever it was play and not real.”

“Matthew… I’m so sorry. He betrayed you in the worst way.”

“He did. I still don’t know why he did it. I safe worded out before things got real because it felt wrong, and I’ve never been more grateful for listening to my gut…but it left its marks.”

Jace sought his touch, and matthew let out a breath of relief. “Have you ever played again since? Role-play, I mean?”

Matthew shook his head. “I was too scared. But that’s why it hit me so hard when you asked me about it because it’s how I’m wired. I love playing out these fantasies. In fact… I’ve had quite a few about you and me.”

Jace jerked his head up. “Yeah?”

“Do you want to know?”

“I think I do…very much so.”

“I’ve had one where I was an emperor and you were part of my harem and you had to do everything I told you…”

Jace’s eyes darkened. “That sounds…hot.”

“Mmm, yes. Or where I was a doctor and I had to give you a very thorough exam.”

“I’m all for that.”

“You’re a nurse giving this poor patient a sponge bath…”

“Not sure that’s a fantasy anymore, considering what we’re doing right now.”

“It ended with you giving some special attention to my cock…washing it with your mouth, your lips, your tongue.”

“I think that could be arranged…”

Matthew’s cock was rock hard as it poked out of the water. “I have so many things I want to do with you…once I’m better. So many fantasies I’m dying to try.”

“I’m game,” Jace whispered. “I’m game for each and every one. But promise me one thing…”

“What, baby?”

Oh, how easily that word flew off his lips.

“Promise me you’ll tell me if I become too much.”

“Too much what?”

“Too needy. Too mothering. Too demanding. Too anything.”

“I promise, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“Then promise me one more thing…”

“Anything.”

“Promise me you’ll hurry the fuck up in getting better.”

That was a promise Matthew could easily make. “Don’t kiss me yet, not until I’m better…but could you touch me, please?” he begged.

“Touch you where?” Jace said in a teasing tone.

“Anywhere. Everywhere.”

His body was on fire, but Matthew wasn’t sure if it was because his fever was back, because he was hot from the bath, or because the anticipation was killing him.

“Let’s get you out of this bath and back in bed.”

Matthew opened his mouth to protest, then snapped it shut. Oh, he loved the gleam in Jace’s eyes. He’d better see what his assistant had planned. Jace’s hands were soft as he toweled Matthew off, paying special attention to Matthew’s cock, which showed its enthusiasm for that treatment. Leaning on Jace just a little, Matthew made his way back to the bedroom, where he dropped back in bed. Jace helped him get comfortable, and then he stared at him with hungry eyes.

“Can I?”

“I don’t know what you want, but the answer is yes. Hell yes.”

Still dressed in his underwear only, Jace climbed onto the bed and stretched out on his stomach, his face inches away from Matthew’s cock. “You said I couldn’t kiss you…not your mouth, at least. But I could kiss you here?”

Matthew almost strained his neck with how fast he nodded. “Yes. Please, yes.”

Jace didn’t make him wait long. His first touch was soft, his warm lips pressing light kisses on Matthew’s cock. Even that seemingly innocent touch made him moan. Jace’s tongue peeped out, and he licked, kissed some more, sucked as he explored Matthew’s cock and balls. So damn good.

Jace repositioned himself, grabbed Matthew’s base with his right hand, and looked him in his eyes. “You may wanna hang on.”

Matthew didn’t even have time to respond. Jace sucked him in hungrily, first the tip, but then his whole cock, swallowing him like it was nothing. The groaning sound Matthew let out was loud and almost embarrassing, but how could he hold it back when it felt this amazing?

Jace’s cheeks hollowed as he sucked hard, pulling Matthew’s dick all the way into his throat, humming happily. He was greedy, eager. No forced pleasure here, no reluctance, but genuine excitement, a desire to please.

Matthew laced his hands through Jace’s hair. “Tell me if I get too rough.”

He thrust up into his mouth, carefully at first, but when Jace took it with ease, harder. His muscles protested, but he ignored the pain. It wouldn’t take long anyway, not when his cock was being sucked so expertly.

Jace’s left hand cradled his balls, rolling them between his fingers and gently squeezing with perfect pressure. Oh, he was good at this. So damn good. Matthew couldn’t wait to see what other talents the kid had.

He shivered, his body tensing as his orgasm approached. His balls tingled and drew up tight against his body, firing up all the nerves in his body. His thrusts were irregular now, almost frantic. “Baby,” he groaned. “Oh god. I’m… I’m coming.”

He let go of Jace’s head, giving him the option to pull back, but he didn’t. Matthew’s vision went black as he came, pouring his release down Jace’s throat. “Oh fuck, baby…fuck…. So good. God, your mouth…”

Jace’s movements slowed down and became gentle as he cleaned Matthew’s cock, suckling until it was completely soft in his mouth. The smile he gave Matthew as he let go was blinding. “Yummy.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me, aren’t you?”

“You’re about to find out.”