Breaking the Ice by Esme Taylor
CHAPTER TWELVE
Reid
I sat, staring at my laptop, unable to write a single word because I can’t seem to get Hettie out of my head. The events of the last few days played like a movie reel. Everything from the times I’d touched her, her skin pressed against mine, waking up next to her, her hair and the way she smelled of long summer days in the sun, her smile, or how her eyes appeared to be different shades depending on what mood she was in, how she doesn’t push me but instead makes me feel like I want to open up. It's all there, running on a loop.
And then there was that kiss.
The moment her lips touched mine, it was like fireworks. For the first time––possibly ever––I felt alive. Whenever I’m around her, I feel completely overwhelmed by the tsunami of emotions that wash over me. And for a guy like me, that was terrifying as hell.
Deep down, I could sense the power she had over me. There was only one question that remained. What’s she going to do with it?
Suddenly, the sound of my phone ringing cuts through my thoughts. I looked down to see Billy’s name flashing across the screen. Glancing at the clock, I checked the time before sliding the button to answer.
“Reid, you alive?” Billy shouted.
“Shit, sorry, Mate. I forgot.”
“You forgot? Okay, I’m officially worried now. You’re so organized that we can usually set our watches by you. So, please explain how you forgot?”
“I’ve just been busy.”
“First golf, and now this. You’ve never missed a gym session since we’ve known you. Instead, Thomas and I were left here waiting for you like a pair of lemons. Next, you’ll be telling me that you’ve not been up at 5AM, drinking something green and disgusting. Or that you’ve not been to the gym or worked for ten hours each day,” he laughed.
Little did he know, he was right. I loved routine––I thrived on it––and I rarely made time for things that weren’t on the agenda. It made life easier… less difficult.
“Actually, I’ve had the best sleep I’ve had in years. And I’ve hardly worked. I even ate a bacon sandwich on white bread and an enormous bowl of pasta. Today, I took the bike out to the beach. As for working out, I haven’t done that since the weekend.”
“What the actual fuck? What have you done with my friend, you body-snatching bastard?” His voice was deep and serious. “I mean it, Reid, what’s going on?”
“Hettie,” was the only thing I could say.
“Hettie? Hettie from the ball, Hettie? What’s she got to do with anything?”
I spend the next few minutes explaining how I’d found her in the street after the party and how she’d stayed the night, but went back home the next day only to have the attempted break-in. I told him how I had stayed the night at her place, but that she didn’t feel safe and ended back up at my house. I filled him in on how she had made dinner for me and how we had taken the bike out. But most importantly, I let him know how relaxed I felt when she was around.
Of course, I didn’t mention the nightmares and how she seemed to be helping me, or the kiss we’d shared last night. Then again, he was my best friend… he didn’t need me to give him the details. He already knew. When I’d finished, he said the one thing I’d been thinking myself.
“You’re totally fucked, Reid. You know that, right? You’ve got it bad.”
Silence.
“So, what’s the plan with her? One night of passion to get her out of your system?”
Is that what I want? I wondered. But the longer I thought about it, the more I realized, I want more. I want to wake up next to her, to be able to look into her eyes and make her smile. I want to hear her secrets and help her make her dreams come true. I want to feel her lips on mine and watch her fall apart beneath my touch. I want to feel myself inside of her and make her moan my name. I want so much more than one night. I want all of that and more, day after day.
“She’s different,” was all I could say.
“Totally fucked,” he declared, laughing. “Well, you owe us both a drink for standing us up. I’ll speak to you later, lover boy.” I disconnected the call without another word as I stared out the window, my thoughts running wild.
Can I offer her more? Is it even possible? Would she even want it? Does she feel the same way about me? Can I trust myself to not hurt her? I shook my head to clear my thoughts, desperate to see her again.
I pushed myself out of my office chair and made my way down to the pool, my heart racing at the thought of her half-naked body in the water. But in a matter of seconds, everything changed.
As I opened the door to the pool, I froze at the sight I found before me. My legs buckled and I had to lean against the cold tiled wall to stop myself from crashing to the ground. I found myself gasping for air. My heart was racing as I fell headfirst into a panic attack, clutching my t-shirt as the room spun and my vision blurred.
“Not again. Please, not again,” I choked.