Breaking the Ice by Esme Taylor
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Hettie
It’s nearly 4AM and I was wide awake. I wasn’t sure if it was from the worry over someone targeting me, the amount of time I’d spent in Spenser Johansson’s books, or how my skin was still tingling from a night wrapped in Reid’s arms while he worshiped every inch of my body––more than once.
After he had taken me up against the shower wall, which is officially my favorite place to feel him unleash full Viking mode on me, we went downstairs to curl up on the sofa and watch a film. Although boxing helped me shift some of the worries that were lingering in my mind and I hoped it would give me enough skills to protect myself if I needed them, it was also more exercise than I’d done in years. And my muscles were protesting. Loudly.
Noticing me rubbing my neck and shoulders, Reid turned off the film and led me up the stairs. “I have just the thing you need, Etta,” he whispered in my ear as he stripped my shorts and vest top from my body.
He instructed me to lie face down across his bed before disappearing into the bathroom to retrieve something. When he returned, I could see he was carrying a bottle of oil and was now wearing only his pants.
Straddling my back, he poured the oil over my shoulders and he began to gently rub the knots, tension, and pain from my aching muscles. Long, languid movements, danced over my back as my skin reacted to his touch. I moaned as his fingers moved into my hair, massaging my scalp until my head tingled with pleasure.
Slowly, he worked his way down, kneading and rubbing his way to my lower back, thighs, calves, and even my feet, until I was so relaxed, I was almost asleep.
“Better?” he whispered into my ear, his voice so low that it felt like it vibrated through every part of me.
“Mmmhmm,” was the only response I could muster.
“Good, but I think there’s still one place that needs a little attention.” I could hear the lust in his voice as he slipped his fingers into my folds, slowly inserting them into my sex while his thumb massaged my clit.
My hips began to move of their own volition as he slipped a second finger inside me. His movements were slow, paying close attention to that little bundle of nerves. There was no rush, no sudden need to make me come––it was just him massaging me in the most intimate way possible.
No matter how many times he touched me, this man still found ways to blow my mind. Each time, I swore there could be nothing better. Yet, each time he would prove me wrong. And this moment was no exception. I had never felt so special, so important, or dare I say it, loved.
It didn’t take long for his slow, deliberate movements to bring me to orgasm. I moaned out his name, my face pressed into the pillow as wave after wave washed over me, my relaxed muscles tightening in response to his touch.
Just as I was coming down from the peak he had pushed me to, I felt him slip inside me from behind. His cock filled me to my limits, but I found myself wanting more. Pushing my hips upward, I felt him slip deeper sending my arousal levels spiraling as he rubbed against that sensitive spot he knew I loved.
“God, Reid. That feels so good,” I moaned as he wrapped his fist in my ponytail. He pulled my head back until it rested against his shoulder, my back pressed hard to his chest. He twisted my head to the side and kissed me deeply. Every movement was slow and deliberate. My body buzzed in arousal as I felt him grow harder, the veins in his cock swelling as he neared his release.
The intimacy and closeness, the way his arm wrapped possessively around my waist, pulling me into him, combined with the sound of my name on his lips as he moaned into my ear, cracked my heart open completely. I knew without a doubt that I was in love with this man. And, for a moment, I allowed myself to believe he might be in love with me too.
I’d never really believed I would get a happy ending. But here in this space, with this man buried inside of me, worshipping every inch of me, I finally believed it was possible.
He pulled my hips back into him, thrusting hard and deep as he exploded inside of me. The rush of his pleasure filling me set off my own orgasm, and we came together, collapsing onto the bed while clinging to each other for dear life.
◆◆◆
Lying in his arms now, I watched the sky changed color as the sun rose in the distance. I turned onto my side and stared at my Viking. Gently stroking the side of his face, I leaned in and kissed him lightly on his lips. As I did, his eyes fluttered open and a lazy smile spread across his face.
“You’re a beautiful sight to wake up to, Etta.” He placed another kiss on my lips, deeper this time. “Did I have a nightmare? Did I wake you up?” he asked, his eyes searching for the cause of my early morning alertness.
“No, I just couldn’t sleep. I’m sorry if I woke you.”
“What are you laying here thinking about?”
For a moment, I wondered if I should tell him about the text and the stolen information from work, but I knew that if I did, he would go full alpha Viking on me and lock me away to keep me safe. And since we didn’t know anything for certain yet, I decided to wait until I heard back from the police before I told him anything. Instead, there was something much more important I needed to say to him.
“I was thinking about this man that I’d met recently.” I looked down at him and bit my lip while I waited for his reply.
“A man, hey? And who might this man be? Should I be worried?”
“He’s this giant, beautiful man who makes me go weak at the knees.”
“Weak at the knees? Well, I don’t stand a chance against him, do I? I suppose I should concede defeat immediately and let you go to him.” His voice was thick with fake annoyance.
“It’s just––well, I think things are happening with this man and I’m not entirely sure he feels the same.”
“Things?” He raised an eyebrow at me, lifting his head so he could look me directly in the eyes. “What sort of things?”
I paused.
Is it too soon? Is what I’m feeling real? Could someone like him even fall for someone like me? Will he ever let me in and tell me about what haunts his dreams?
Can I really trust someone and open my heart again? And if he hurt me, would I survive?
“Etta, where did you go?” he asked, waving his hand in front of my face. “Focus. What things?”
“I–I think maybe… I…” I closed my eyes, unable to speak the words I so desperately want to say.
Sensing my inner conflict, Reid leaned down and kissed me softly. “Etta, there is nothing you can’t say to me. But I need you to tell me how you’re feeling. I can’t say it for you.”
I looked up into his icy blue eyes, brushing away the hair that had fallen in his face. “I think I’ve fallen in love with a Viking, Reid.” My words hung heavy in the air between us. The only sound that could be heard was our breathing.
Reid said nothing. He just stared at me, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he tried to swallow. Finally, after a few moments, he appeared to find the words he wanted to say.
“You love me, Etta? I mean, really love me?” I nodded without hesitation.
“But there’s so much about me you don’t know. So much of my past that I can’t tell you. I’ve not even explained my dreams to you. And you still love me?” he asked, sounding almost confused.
“I know it’s fast, and I don’t expect you to say it too, but I’ve never felt like this about anyone. Not even my ex. Reid, you make me laugh, you make me feel like a goddess, you make me want to follow my dreams and be a better version of myself. You make me believe I deserve a Happily Ever After. I wasn’t looking for anyone when you came into my life. And as strange as it may seem, you are everything I didn’t even know I needed, or wanted.”
“Fuck, Etta.” He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and sat with his back to me, his face in his hands. “There are things about me that might change how you feel. I don’t want to ever hurt you, but I need you to know that I’m not who you think I am. I’ve done things. Terrible things. Things that changed my life. Things that I can’t ever take back.” He sighed.
“I’m messed up, Etta. You’ve seen me at night… that’s my past coming back to haunt me. And I deserve it all. I don’t deserve to be loved and I certainly don’t deserve to be loved by someone as perfect as you.”
I knelt behind him and wrapped my hands around him, placing one of them over the tattoo on his chest. “You’re right, I don’t know your past. But I know the man you are today, and that’s the man I’ve fallen in love with. Tell me about your past, or don’t tell me, it won’t change how I feel about you. Yes, I’ve seen your dreams, I’ve heard your screams and I’ve kissed away your tears. Whatever happened, you have to stop reliving it every night and learn to live in the here and now. I’m here. Now. All you have to do is let me in.” I ran my fingers over his face, skimming my thumb over the stubble on his jawline before lifting his chin until he was looking me in the eyes.
“You can let me love you, Viking. You may not believe it, but I promise you… you deserve to be loved.” A single tear ran down his cheek and I gently wiped it away.
When he spoke, his voice was so low that I began to wonder if I’d actually heard it. “I love you too, Etta. I’ve loved you since the moment I woke up and found you wrapped around me, protecting me from my dreams. I love that you didn’t ask me to explain. I love that you trust me, and I love that you accept me for who I am. I love you too, but I’m so fucking scared. I’m scared of letting someone in and having them hurt me. I’m scared of making the nightmares worse. But most of all, I’m scared of hurting someone else.”
His honesty made my heart melt. “I’m scared too, Viking. So, how about we be scared together?” He turned to look at me before his lips crashed down on mine.
Laying me back onto the sheets, he settled himself between my legs. Which was where we remained for the rest of the day, repeating those three little words to one another again and again, while our bodies claimed each other.