Breaking the Ice by Esme Taylor

CHAPTER EIGHT

Reid

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I knew she’d seen me. Deep down, I’d hoped she would take one look at the note I’d left her and leave. I never would have imagined she’d take my words at face value and actually make herself at home, wandering about my house like she lived here.

Yes, I was a shitty coward. I’d told her I’d gone out and then crept off to the gym to beat the living daylights out of the punching bag. I hoped it would help erase the image of her body pressed against mine this morning. Perhaps lower my anxiety about having to explain everything that happened in my sleep.

“Are you even listening, Reid?”

Of course, I wasn’t listening. I had no idea what Billy was calling for or what he was even saying.

“Are you okay?” he asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Sorry, yes. What is it you wanted?”

“I wanted to check that you’re all right after bailing on us today. Sorry for caring, asshole.”

“Sorry, I should have called you sooner. I’m fine. Something came up that I needed to take care of. It’s all sorted now. I’ll fill you in next time I see you.”

“Okay. See you Tuesday at the gym. Usual time?”

“Yes, see you then.” With that, I disconnected the call and tossed my phone onto one of the weight benches near the door before grabbing a towel and wiping the sweat from my face. Boxing hadn’t helped me diminish the worry about last night. Although it had helped me tame the raging boner I’d had since I woke up this morning, with her wrapped around my body.

I knew I couldn’t hide in here all day. And now that she’d seen me, I feared she was going to think I was even more of an asshole than the man she had to deal with last night. I hated lying to her, but how do you explain that without going into detail. And I definitely didn’t want to give anyone any details.

I’d tried so hard to not be that man, yet every time I went to sleep, I was dragged back to that dark place. It’s not like I even remember what I dream about, but just knowing that it’s there somewhere in my subconscious, fighting nightly to get out and break free––well, it’s terrifying.

How do I explain that to someone? I groaned to myself in frustration. This is exactly why I don’t let people stay in my house. I knew it was a mistake the minute I invited her to stay. But, she needed me. She had nowhere else to go. I couldn’t just leave her there. So, what else could I have possibly done?

And now, here I was, trying to justify my actions again. It was like the more I did it, the more I could attempt to forgive myself for my behavior and for what she'd seen. Deep down, I knew I couldn’t. And now she knew I’d lied to her.

Rather than wallowing in self-pity, I decided to find her. Unfortunately, by the time I got back to the main part of the house, her house keys were gone and the note she’d left said it all. I knew she was furious with me, but because I was such a coward, I didn’t know if it was because of what happened last night or that she saw me hiding away from her in the gym.

I need to speak with her. That’s when I realized I didn’t have her number. Actually, she doesn’t even have a phone anymore. I smiled as an idea popped into my head.

Reaching for my phone, I texted Mike.

ME: Can you call me when you’ve dropped Hettie at home?

MIKE: Yes, Sir.

With that, I headed into my office to find my laptop. I had a purchase to make.