The Killer’s New Obsession by B.B. Hamel
Cam
Ichewed out Sasha for twenty minutes after that attack. She explained that the Healy family watched the girls like hawks, and although some of them had secret phones, clearly some of the phones weren’t so secret after all.
But at least Anna survived. The girl seemed smart and capable, although she was a little rough. Don Valentino said she could stay at his place as well, since the manor was big enough to accommodate fifty people at least without feeling crowded. Bea seemed delighted to have so many girls in the house at least.
“No more texting,” I said the next morning. Sasha sat on the enormous couch in the living room, picking at a bagel. Anna had her knees pulled to her chest, her arms wrapped around her shins, and stared off into space. I couldn’t imagine how she felt in that moment. Irene sat next to her, trying to be comforting, but the girl was still in shock. She needed some time to come out of it.
“I won’t make that mistake again,” Sasha said. “Calls only from now on. But I’ll need more phones. Can’t keep using the same number.”
“We’ll figure that out,” I said, pacing. “How many reliable girls do you know?”
“I don’t know,” Sasha said. “Ten maybe.”
“I know some,” Anna said, looking up. “Lots of girls are going to be mad about what happened to Mila.”
I nodded once. “Good. We’ll use that against them.”
“Fucking bastards,” Anna snarled.
Irene stood up and walked over to me. She touched my arm and nodded at me before drifting off toward the kitchen. “You two talk,” I said. “Figure out what to do from here and let me know what you need.”
Sasha gave me a mock salute though her heart wasn’t into it. I followed Irene back into the kitchen and shut the door behind us. The space was empty, and our voices echoed off the metal shelves and stoves.
“I wanted to thank you for last night,” Irene said, stepping close to me.
“Thank me?” I asked, shaking my head. “I don’t think I deserve thanks. I barely got us out of there alive.”
“You saved them,” she said and pressed herself against me.
I sighed and hugged her tight. “I just did what anyone would do,” I said.
“That’s not true,” she said. “Not many people would run back for total strangers.”
Maybe that was right. I’d always been like that though, ever since I joined the Valentino family. Gunfire scared the hell out of guys and made them freeze up, but not me. I could run into the thick of it and hope I didn’t get killed, like the idea of dying didn’t faze me. Of course, I wanted to live, but I also knew that I couldn’t live the right way if I was afraid all the time, so I pushed that side of me down and pressed forward. So far, it’d served me well.
She kissed me softly and touched my cheek. “I want you to do me a favor,” she said.
“I’ll try,” I said. “But no promises.”
She grinned and tilted her head. “What if I said you can have another night, if you do this for me?”
“I’m listening then,” I said.
She kissed and bit my bottom lip. “Show the girls how to fight,” she said.
I laughed sharply. “What do you mean?”
“Anna and Sasha, show them how to shoot. I was thinking, if we’re going to arm these girls, they should know how to use the guns, right?”
“It’s not so hard,” I said, shrugging. “Point the round end and pull the trigger.”
“Come on,” Irene said, pressing her warm body against me. “You can teach Sasha and Anna, then they can teach other girls.”
“You want me to straight up train an army now,” I said. “What happened to finding some other way?”
“Last night happened,” she said.
I nodded slowly and kissed her neck then breathed the smell of her hair deep. “I’ll do it,” I said. “If you promise I get another night.”
“I’m all yours as soon as the sun goes down,” she said.
“I’m not sure I want to wait.”
She kissed me then pulled away. “Be patient. You’ve got some shooting lessons to give.”
I groaned and tugged at my hair. I didn’t love the idea of actually teaching these girls how to kill considering I was far from trusting them, but Irene was right. If we were going to arm them, we should also show them how to fight.
“You better be worth it,” I said, laughing.
She gave me a sly smile. “You know I am. Now come on, get to work.”
I sighed but headed out into the living room. Sasha was speaking quietly to Anna in their native language, and both girls looked up as I approached.
“It was brought to my attention that I should teach you two how to shoot,” I said. “How about we start today?”
Sasha sat up straight and a glimmer of her old self reappeared. “Seriously?” she asked. “You’re going to give us a lesson on how to be badass mafia killers?”
“Something like that,” I said, rubbing my face, and looked at Anna. “Are you up for it?” I asked.
“For Mila, I’ll do it,” Anna said, her face hardening.
“Fuck, yeah,” Sasha said, slapping Anna on the knee. The smaller girl winced. “Let’s go shoot some shit. You’ve got guns, right? Do you have, like, big machine guns? Can we shoot some cool rifles and stuff?”
“No,” I said. “And the first lesson is, guns aren’t fucking toys.”
“Right, sure.” Sasha leapt to her feet and helped Anna up. “But, like, we get cool and fun targets, right?”
“Goddamn it,” I said, looking up at the ceiling, then led the girls out back for their first lesson down in the woods.
* * *
Sasha picked it up surprisingly fast. She shot with a smile on her face the whole time.
Anna took a little more work. I went over the procedure again and again and let her practice with a few different guns until she felt comfortable and was hitting the target more often than not.
Both of them stayed in the mansion and started reaching out to some of the other girls using burner phones. They called only, never texted, and didn’t stay on the line for long. Irene helped them, and soon the three of them had a good list of girls that were willing to help, girls that the Healy family had hurt, abused, and wronged.
“I need to go talk to some of them,” Anna said one morning a few days later after shooting practice. She’d gotten a lot better over that short time and didn’t flinch anymore when she pulled the trigger. Sasha, meanwhile, shoved the gun into her waistband like a gangster and leaned up against a tree, arms crossed over her chest.
“You sure that’s a good idea?” she asked.
“It’s not,” Anna said. “But if we’re going to make this happen, I’ve got to make actual contact and show them this is for real.”
Sasha grunted, but looked worried. “I keep thinking about Mila,” she said softly.
Anna nodded and stared at the ground. The girls were still grieving over their lost friend and I couldn’t do a thing to fix that for them. I’d lost men before, lost Omar recently, and other guys before him. I knew I’d lose more in the future. It never got easy and it never went away no matter how much time passed. They all haunted me, the specters of their memories and the knowledge that if they hadn’t joined the family then maybe they’d still be alive, with all the limitless possibility of a normal person.
Still, some people weren’t built for the real world. I looked over my shoulder, back toward where Irene sat next to the pool. She was one of those people, even though she rebelled against it. I was too, and I embraced my nature.
Living slow, living a normal life, that wasn’t for me.
“She’d want you to keep going,” I said, looking back at Anna.
“How do you know?” she asked.
“Because she came with you, right?” I tilted my head and shrugged. “She wanted to get the fuck out of there. Probably wanted it as much as you.”
“True,” Anna said. “It’s not just Mila, though. It’s all the girls.”
“Some might not get through this,” Sasha said and her voice sounded far away. She focused on something in the distance. “I keep thinking about that. If we go against the Healys, someone’s going to get hurt.”
“Make sure they understand the risk,” I said. “That’s as much as you can do. Make sure they understand they might die if they fight with us, but they’ll also never be free if they don’t. They’ll die in some Healy room of a drug overdose, or beaten to death by some pissed-off client, or any number of shitty ways girls die when they’re nothing more than flesh to be fucked and used.”
Anna took a deep breath and steadied herself with a nod. “You’re right,” she said. “There are worse ways.”
“Damn right,” Sasha said, grinning again. “Better to go down guns blazing.”
“Easy, cowgirl,” I said, shaking my head. “You two can barely hit a still target from twenty yards. Shooting a living, moving, screaming human being’s a lot harder.”
“I don’t know,” Sasha said, running a hand through her hand. “You’d be surprised how much I hate those fucks. Might be pretty easy to murder the hell out of them.” She gestured toward the target. “I’ve got no problem with that piece of cardboard out there.”
I laughed and led them back to the house. Irene joined us for lunch, then helped Anna get packed. She didn’t have much stuff—she brought nothing with her, though the Don had given her some cash to get a new wardrobe in town. She dressed like a kindergarten teacher outside of the whorehouse and it was almost hard to recognize her.
“Be careful,” Irene said, hugging her hard. “Please don’t do anything stupid.”
“Don’t worry, girl,” Anna said. “I’ve got a plan.”
“Linc will drive you to the safe house,” I said as the group of us walked through the house back to the front driveway. “From there, it’s up to you to set meetings and get in touch with the girls.”
“When will you bring the guns?” Anna asked.
“When you have enough people involved,” I said. “We’re not sending you a stash until then.”
She grunted, but didn’t argue. Sasha eyed me suspiciously and looked like she wanted to say something, but Linc pulled up and honked the horn before she could open her mouth.
“Here I go,” Anna said, hugged Sasha, the nodded to me. She skipped down the steps.
“Hey,” I called out. She turned and I grinned at her. “You’re a good shot now, you know.”
“Thanks,” she said. “I had a shitty teacher but I picked it up anyway.” She waved and jumped in Linc’s back seat. He waved to me and pulled off.
“Walked right into that one,” Sasha said, patting my arm.
Irene grinned at me and I sighed, rubbed my cheek. “Damn, I tried to be nice,” I said.
“These girls don’t do nice,” Irene said and leaned against me. Sasha went back inside, disappearing into the dim house.
“I wonder about that,” I said softly. “Sasha puts on a big front, but she’s scared. Anna’s more transparent with how she feels. And look at her now, she dresses like she teaches third grade.”
“So what?” Irene asked.
“So, they’re supposed to be killers,” I said. “I thought there’d be more fucking fire in them, you know? Those Healy guys abused them and sold their bodies for months or years and this is their chance, but they both seem so scared.”
“Can you blame them?” Irene moved away and leaned against the railing on her elbows, looking out over the lush, green front yard. The trees were thick along the driveway, and some of the smaller dogwoods were in bloom with big, fat white blossoms. “They’ve lived their whole lives being terrified of those guys. And now you’re telling them they can fight back? I’m amazed they’re doing it at all.”
I watched her for a second. “You’d fight back,” I said.
“Maybe,” she said. “I wonder though. When I was on the street, there were times when I had a choice, and I didn’t fight.”
“Things aren’t always that simple though. Sometimes it’s better to run.”
“I thought so, and now I wonder. Anna got away, so did Sasha. We could take more of the girls like we did with them and save their lives.” She looked at me, head tilted slightly. “But you need them to fight, don’t you?”
I stepped away from the stairs and crossed my arms over my chest. “What do you want me to say?” I asked. “Of course I need them to fight. I want them to kill as many Healys as they can, because I don’t have the manpower to do it all myself.”
She nodded to herself. “Yeah, I know that’s your motivation. I think you want to help them too, but you don’t know how to do anything for free.”
I stepped toward her, voice pitched low. “That’s not true,” I said.
She looked at me. “Yeah? What do you do for free?”
“I saved you.” I reached out but she backed away.
“You didn’t do that for nothing,” she said, staring at me. “If you did, why am I still here?”
“Ronan—” I started, but she interrupted me.
“Bullshit,” she said, hands curling into fists. “If you gave me some money and put me on a plane to California, or to Canada, or anywhere but Philly, he’d never follow me. I’m meaningless to him.”
“The USB drives,” I said.
“He still wouldn’t follow,” she said, staring me down. “You had a price, and that price was me.”
“Damn right it was,” I said and almost didn’t recognize the growl in the back of my throat as I walked to her. She backed up until she ran into the railing and I leaned over her, hands to either side of her hips, staring into her eyes, jaw clenched. I was tired, so tired of this bullshit, of pretending I didn’t feel something, or trying to hide the depth of it. I was so sick of playing the game.
“See,” she whispered. “Nothing’s free with you.”
“I saved your life because I want you,” I said. “You think that makes me a monster? Fine, I’m a fucking monster then. I want you, Irene. I’m not going to pretend otherwise.”
She met my gaze and held it. I couldn’t read the look in her eyes—anger, pity, fear, or some combination of all three. She didn’t move, and the moment stretched as a bird flitted from a nearby tree and a fat bumblebee buzzed around the ceiling of the porch. Her lips opened, her mouth opened like she wanted to speak, then she shook her head slightly and looked down.
“You’re not a monster,” she said. “Not for wanting me, anyway.”
“I never stopped,” I said. “Even when you disappeared, I looked for you. I never gave up.”
“I know,” she said. “I wish you had.”
“You can act like this is something it’s not. You can lie to yourself and to me if you’d like, but I felt what you want the other night, Irene. I know how badly you want me, too.”
“So what?” she asked, clenching her jaw again defiantly. “So the hell what if I want to fuck you?”
I kissed her hard then, pulling her hair and tugging her body against mine. She moaned into that kiss, groaned as her tongue touched my own and her taste flooded my mouth. I pulled her back and held her there for a moment, feeling her body, the way she trembled, the heat rolling off her skin. I tilted my head, looking deep into her eyes.
“It’s not just that,” I said, “and you damn well know it.” I let her go then and left her. She didn’t follow me as I went back into the house. I closed the door behind me and flinched when a shadow detached itself from the wall right next to the front window.
Sasha grinned at me. “That’s how it is, huh? You really love that girl, don’t you?”
I made a face. “Go listen in on someone else.”
“They’re boring.” She followed me as I walked down the hall. “Come on, you love her, don’t you?”
I felt it in my chest, that longing for Irene. It was an old, familiar feeling, one I’d had since the day we met all those years ago when we were both young and broken and fucked up, and it never left me, not for a second. If that was love, then I loved her. If that was something more, then it was something more, and I couldn’t put it into words.
“Something like that,” I said.
“She loves you too, you know,” Sasha said.
I glanced at her. “She said that?”
“Woman’s intuition.” She grinned at me. “You should just tell her straight out instead of playing games.”
“Not playing,” I said. “And I can’t risk scaring her away. She ran once and she’ll do it again.”
“Sounds like you’re a coward.” Sasha stopped following me at the doorway to the living room.
“What exactly do you want?” I asked her.
“Nothing,” she said. “I guess I like stirring up trouble.”
I snorted. “At least you’re honest. Go practice your shooting if you need something to do.”
She saluted. “Aye-aye, glorious leader.” Then walked off and disappeared through a side hallway.
I sighed and straightened my shirt before heading back into the living room. I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do, but maybe Sasha was right, maybe telling Irene straight up that I loved her would make things easier.
Except I was scared it wouldn’t and she’d disappear onto the streets again. I couldn’t risk that happening, not when she was finally back and so very close to being what I wanted.
