Chapter 4 ~ Sofie Von Tirol

 

My days mirrored one after the other.

Mornings, I got up, went to chapel for two hours and broke my fast with the ladies afterwards. Then we went for a walk around the castle, careful not to stray too far away. The threat of a kidnapping was ever at hand. The Lion’s Paw could try to reach out and scratch me at any time. If he got hold of me, my reputation would be destroyed, and Frederick would have to set me aside in a convent.

After the walk, we went to the sewing room and practiced our stitching for hours on end while we prattled about minor things. We rarely talked about the men and how they were suffering on the battlefield, but it was on all of our minds. We hoped and prayed that our husbands would soon come back.

Sometimes, the peasants had grievances that they came to me about. I’d seen my father take care of such matters at our court. I copied his answers and tried to make everyone happy with me, knowing full well that all of my actions would be reported back to my father and my husband. Each would have spies here, watching me. Unimportant people who I wouldn’t notice, but they had their eyes on me. My father had spies reporting to him daily at home, and that had been while we enjoyed peace with our neighbors.

A washing woman could be a spy, or a chambermaid, or the steward. The steward was always a spy. I did my best to make certain that there would be nothing of interest to report as I oversaw the household.

I expected the servants to test me by being lazy and slacking on their chores completely, but they weren’t. They were being perfect for me.

“Would my lady like to go riding today?” the stable boy asked me as he stepped out of the stable, holding onto a fine mare. I guessed that he must be fifteen or sixteen-years-old. I was glad that no one considered him old enough to go to war.

“What’s your name?” I asked him, stepping closer to the horse that he was holding in one hand. I laid my hand on the horse’s muzzle.

“My name is Marcus, my lady. Your lord husband told me to watch out for you. I want you to know that you can count on me. If the Lion comes here, you can know that I’ll die before I let him touch a hair on your head.”

A chill went through my body at his words. I hoped it wouldn’t come to pass. I didn’t want anything to happen to this young man who was probably only a year or two younger than I was. But women were forced to grow up so much quicker.

“Thank you. I appreciate that, and I’ll rest easier knowing it,” I lied to him. I didn’t rest easy. I worried and fretted the night away.

I wanted Frederick to come home safely, and I wanted to have a child with him. I would soon know if I was expecting. It was only a matter of a couple of days.

~

A week later, my courses came, arriving a few days late, but they did arrive. There was no baby in my belly. The servants knew, and the entire castle was filled with whispers. They were disappointed. I had disappointed them. They whispered that one night wasn’t enough to get me with a baby, but I felt as if I had failed my husband.

What was worse, I had disappointed my new people. They needed an heir. The sooner the better.

I wished that we would receive news from the men, but nothing came from the troops. Week after week, we waited for word, but none came.

My time was put to good use with my ladies, and even the servants, telling me what I needed to do to get with child. I only wished that I had gotten the good advice before I’d been married. I should have laid completely still after I received his seed and better yet with my legs elevated.

I also got advice about how to conceive a son. Time of the month and position seemed to be very important. When Frederick came home, I would tell him what I learned so we could have a son as soon as possible.

But he didn’t come home, and no news was sent to us.

I worried with every breath that I took about my husband’s welfare. Surely a rider could be sent home to inform us where they were or how they were fairing. The war wasn’t in a faraway country, but in lands that touched our borders on two sides. The message would have to come over the pass to get to us, and that meant through Werdenfels. Surely, my people would let a man pass with a message for me.

I was confused and worried that Frederick had forgotten me.

~

“My lady, riders have been spotted. They’re coming towards the castle.” The boy Marcus raced into the garden, where I was walking with my ladies.

“Who is it?” I asked him.

“I couldn’t tell yet, but they coming directly from Werdenfels. I came back from exercising a few horses to inform you so you can be standing in the bailey when Lord Frederick returns to you, my lady.”

My ladies and I rushed back into the castle to ensure that our hair was properly in place, and we pinched our cheeks to give them some color.

Then a chill went through my body. Would Frederick be terribly disappointed because I wasn’t pregnant. Over two months had passed since I saw him. Once again, my courses were upon me. That meant that I was unclean and couldn’t sleep with him now. That would disappoint him.

When I heard that riders were coming, I was so thrilled that Frederick was finally returning to me. Then I was scared as we went down to greet the returning men. Little did I know, that my husband was already dead.

“Go back into the castle. We’re under attack,” someone yelled at us. The courtyard had filled with farmers and their families, hiding from the Lion’s men-at-arms. The gates were closed and barred.

My ladies shrieked and ran back inside, pulling me along with them. We ran up to the sewing chamber and locked the door.

I went to the window and opened it wide so I could look out and see what was happening at the gates. Hundreds of men on horses were at the gates flying the banners of the Lion. We were under siege.

More and more men arrived. They set about ramming the door and setting it on fire. They would be inside soon. The fire would weaken the door, and behind it were only unarmed farmers.

The Lion must have defeated my family. My dear husband was never going to come back to me. Why had he been so eager to go? If only he had sent his men and stayed with me, I would certainly be with child, and he would be alive.

My father and brother must also be lost or captured, there heads would be put on spikes.

It was clear what this invasion meant. We had lost.

They had to come through Werdenfels to get here. Werdenfels had fallen, and now we would lose everything. Had this all been a plot to put Frederick’s cousin on his throne? Had they teamed together with the Lion and planned this? Attacking us first to throw off suspicion? Everyone knew that you had to go through Werdenfels to get to Tirol if you were moving southwards.

I understood what would happen to me before I would die. The men would be allowed to have me, all of them, and all would because I was the wife to the man who joined the wrong side, the losing side. I was also the daughter to the man whose land the Lion wanted. He would want me to suffer, but he had wanted that from the beginning.

I believed that I would die, but it wouldn’t be soon. But I would want it to be soon. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to take a severe beating without crying and begging my persecutors to stop.

The gate was thick. It would take a while for the wood to turn into embers that they could punch through.

Nightfall was coming, and it was dark. There were campfires alighted in the woods several of them, showing that they were stronger in numbers than I thought.

Just as I had given up hope, from the southern side, other men arrived with the Tirol banners. They had come to protect us. These were my husband’s good and loyal men. They would save us.

The women and I knelt down and prayed for them. Our maids knelt with us, praying for the people they loved too.

I prayed that my dear husband had somehow separated from the others and got these men to help protect the castle. Or if he hadn’t gotten these men, that he was only wounded but not dead. He needed to come home to me. We were never given a chance to be happy together.

I hated war with all my heart.

“What can you see at the window?” I asked the lady who couldn’t stop staring out of it.

“It’s too dark to see, my lady. It’s completely dark now. All I can see is the fires they lighted,” she replied.

“Come pray with us.” I called her to my side.

What we couldn’t see, we could hear. There were screams, the sound of solid oak slamming against the gate, and the terrible sounds of men dying.

Forgive my soul, but I prayed that the men who were dying were on the Lion’s side.